Top Ten Reasons abortion is never mentioned in the Bible.

[jobycom]

Last edited Fri Aug 24, 2012, 03:37 PM - Edit history (1)

Top Ten possible reasons the Bible never condemns abortion:

10) God never heard of abortions.

9) God didn't think it was as important as telling people to feed the hungry.

8) God was too busy helping Moses acquire virgins for his men to rape. (Numbers 31: 7-18)

7) God had no time, what with planting all those fake dinosaur skeletons in carefully chronological geological strata to throw off future paleontologists.

6) God didn't really know when life began so he left it to twentieth century televangelists to decide.

5) Someone had to create Tim Tebow.

4) God thought Exodus 21:22-24 was clear enough (that's the one where the Bible says if someone causes a miscarriage, they must pay the husband of the woman a fine, unless someone was actually hurt during the miscarriage).

3) God gave us the ability to develop brain stem research to help alleviate suffering and premature death in the creations he loves.

2) The Bible was actually written by angry liberal feminists.

And the Number One Possible Reason abortion is never banned in the Bible...

1) God didn't want abortions banned.


Thank you, thank you, hold the applause. (And the first one who posts something about God not existing gets slapped with a red herring. Get it? Red herring?)

[Fresh_Start]

1. nice job...

You may want to include a gratuitous omniscience .... in number 10. as in Omniscience God

[jobycom]

8. Thanks!

I left off the omniscience part because it seemed implied. Might have to rethink that. Thanks.

[atreides1]

2. Very good

I'd like to use it, if it's okay with you?

[jobycom]

6. Cool.

If you get rich off it, it's still mine!

[nolabear]

3. And 11) The Bible was written by MEN.

They didn't mention it because it wasn't their problem. We all know that women have an entire underground way of dealing with unwanted pregnancies, some fairly decent, some harmless but ineffective, some downright dangerous. Abortifacients in the form of herbs and pessaries have been the specialty of old wives and granny women and root doctors and hoodoo women and "witches" since time began. Male dominated religion and "science" has worked for centuries to dominate this and take the right of reproduction for themselves, and sadly it has been all too successful in the shame and guilt department. It was helpful in the safety and effectiveness department for a while until the religionists decided they had the right to govern and control access to safe ways to terminate pregnancies.

[SoCalDem]

5. Drunk Monks

who translated from and to many languages, and back again.. No wonder there are so many "oddities"..

[jobycom]

7. Good one. One thing...

I think men liked abortions, too. One thing I've always felt motivated early laws was the necessity of protecting the collective. In a desert with limited resources, they didn't need unclaimed mouths to feed. So sex was a big deal. Unwanted pregnancies were a trend they couldn't afford. Thus, marriage and custody laws were strict, and penalties for unwanted children were harsh. That's why rape was so harshly punished. It's obvious from the Pentateuch that men didn't give a rat's pahooky about women as beings. They were property. But they were valuable property. If you damaged that property, you owed something to the owner. If the property was a virgin, you owed the father all your future income, basically, by having to marry her. If you weren't sure why the daughter wasn't a virgin, then you just killed her, because she was no longer valuable as property, and letting her live would encourage promiscuity, which would bring more mouths to feed. If the property was a wife, then she was damaged, and had to be stoned to death, unless she could prove she wasn't complicity--she had to have screamed out, or been raped on a lonely road where no one could hear her scream (I can imagine where most affairs took place).

Anyway, I think the Bible doesn't mention abortion because men liked it as a solution, too. John Boswell wrote a book on child abandonment in the Ancient and Medieval periods, and proved basically that in areas where there was a need for captives, babies were left on doorsteps of those who wanted them--monasteries, temples, or anywhere else that raised kids for cheap labor or prostitution or whatever. In areas without such needs, babies were abandoned or tossed off cliffs (remember Romulus and Remus). Sort of a post-born abortion. They believed that a baby that was never suckled wasn't really a human yet.

As for religion, Thomas Aquinas in the thirteenth century was still setting guidelines for abortion time limits (40 days for baby boys, 80 for girls, and I have no idea how they would know which it was). It wasn't until the 19th century that the Pope finally banned all abortions. So even in Christian history, the opposition to abortions is fairly new.

[Jazzgirl]

4. Bookmarked!

k/r