I Have PTSD, And I'm Tired Of People Seeing Me As A Lethal Loose Cannon

[xchrom]

http://www.businessinsider.com/ptsd-isnt-what-defines-me-2012-8



I have PTSD.

We all know what it is—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am one of millions who are affected by it each and every day. Millions of men and women who have varying symptoms yet manage to maintain a normal lifestyle.

I, along with my cohorts, have been classified as a potential powder keg just waiting on that spark to set us off into a murderous explosion of ire. This is not the case as I am just as normal as you.

At the end of every day I lay my head down in an attempt to sleep. That in itself is no different than you. But when my eyes close and I should be drifting off into a peaceful bliss, my mind takes over and I am tormented in my dreams with a vivid and exaggerated version of every combat encounter witnessed.

There has been nary a night that I do not have this, and have not had an uninterrupted night of sleep for years. Yet in the morning, I rise with the consistency of the sun, roll out of my sweat soaked bed, and shake off the remnants of the nightly battles and start my day…just like you.


Read more: http://rhinoden.rangerup.com/i-have-ptsd-so-what/#ixzz24T48u8yW

[ananda]

1. I've dealt with PTSD off and on for years...

... and I never wanted to own a gun much less use one.

[Marrah_G]

2. I'm really sorry you are going through this

It must be really difficult and people's comments can be easy to see.

[nightscanner59]

3. Thank you for sharing your nightmare recurrence experience, I just had a waking setback.

Mine was very similar, mostly from a single incident. I'm PTSD'd bigtime after I got brutally mugged. I spent days in the hospital with my head swollen and bruised to well over twice it's normal size after being kicked in the head and face hundreds of times. They had run my bicycle over with their truck door and I was mostly unconcious. I was a total freak of myself throughout Christmas of 09.
Weird part is it all brought memories of being bullied in school for being gay, although it was never that severe.
I'm sitting in my livingroom of my apartment letting my heart slow down right now. Some would consider my fright unreasonable, I suppose. Working and living in silicon valley, I seldom see any "Romney" stickers on cars. But they truly frighten me. I pulled into the parking lot with my car, which has a rainbow sticker on the back window. I was starting to bring things in, but a large truck pulled into parking space opposite my car. It had "Romney/Ryan" and "Flush Obama down the toilet" stickers on it's back window.
There was a gun rack, with guns.
I hid. I laid back the seat and stayed low till he was gone. Maybe this is a little setback on my therapy but I was truly frightened of this balding, angry looking man. I'm so afraid it may be one of the idiots from high school who tortured me come to finish me off.
Deep down inside, I wanted to kill him for being so disrespectful to our commander in chief.