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jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 07:50 PM Feb 2019

67 year old woman here..long and varied work history...Most of my female bosses were horrid.

67 year old woman here..long and varied work history. I have been an optician, Manager of a health spa, USDA, Corp Ins Offices, beautician, nurse in ICU..I even interviewed at a massage parlour...worked ONE day there...I have done it all !!

Most of my female bosses were horrid...jealous, all manner of crazy..used to make fun of me for exercising in the 1970s..exercising....at the USDA the other women mocked my ONE brilliant lady boss a Chicago attny, because she wore white tights...my men bosses were all about the work...no pettiness...

I also had another woman boss and every morning on the way to work I would pray "Lord please don't let Rosemary be nasty to me today" how pathetic was that...I finally walked out one day..no notice no nothing...My Mom said Jody, Rosemary is jealous of you...I waved that off...but now that I am older, I WAS the same age, 177 IQ and I was very pretty...so maybe Mom had something...I am a testament that women bosses can be really shitty to other women, regardless of the caliber/quality of your work performance. Again, I am 67. My history may differ from a 19 year old or a 40 year old.

And there is nothing mean or catty or sexist in telling this truth....if you think one of your women bosses is a bully, you might want to warn others...not with TMZ, but a reputable publication.

229 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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67 year old woman here..long and varied work history...Most of my female bosses were horrid. (Original Post) jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 OP
Women bosses can be really shitty to other women, men bosses can be shitty to women and men, elleng Feb 2019 #1
That statement got me thinking... BigmanPigman Feb 2019 #2
My women bosses were absent and my worst male boss was afraid mahina Feb 2019 #4
In men dominated businesses, women have to prove themselves and do much more to be viewed on par. TheBlackAdder Feb 2019 #21
HUMANS (male & female) CAN BE "REAL SHITTY" TO WILDLIFE! WARNING GRAPHIC IMAGE: Jeffersons Ghost Feb 2019 #30
Why did you post this here? procon Feb 2019 #47
This message was self-deleted by its author tenderfoot Feb 2019 #84
Thanks 'so much' for your non-responsive reply. elleng Feb 2019 #138
Please remove this image. It has absolutely nothing to do with this thread. n/r Ms. Toad Feb 2019 #154
I've alerted on it Frank Leemydear Feb 2019 #226
Chinese satellites preventing concentration on topic at hand? LanternWaste Feb 2019 #199
That's nice obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #3
Lucky duck. mahina Feb 2019 #5
That's good. Croney Feb 2019 #65
My teenaged daughter and I just watched that janterry Feb 2019 #115
Thanks Pixar. Pretty good ! mahina Feb 2019 #129
Right. Laffy Kat Feb 2019 #6
I wasn't raised to judge bosses...my mom or Nanas never worked... jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #11
whatever obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #43
????? elias7 Feb 2019 #46
Any one makes claims that the OP did is dealing in women bashing in my opinon...what is there to Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #51
I agree. What could possibly be the aim here, other than to say that women don't make Squinch Feb 2019 #53
It sure is...your sex does not determine you ability to be a boss or president for that matter. Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #54
No one is saying that gender determines ability to lead elias7 Feb 2019 #185
Change the word "woman" to "Black or Latina" and think about it. Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #186
The OP is perpetuating sexist bullshit, based on anecdotal experience. This is the same kind of still_one Feb 2019 #156
I know, right? To be so dismissive of a woman's opinion and... Beartracks Feb 2019 #122
Spot on. Tipperary Feb 2019 #24
So the OP is incapable of identifying difficult people on her own? Beartracks Feb 2019 #121
I worked for close to 50 years, a mix of men and women, and I couldn't characterize... George II Feb 2019 #161
What is the point of the OP and the conversation in the first place? Eliot Rosewater Feb 2019 #201
Well spotted, Eliot Hekate Feb 2019 #218
This nt lillypaddle Feb 2019 #215
Some of my best bosses were women, some of the worst Drahthaardogs Feb 2019 #7
I've had two female bosses my entire life. Glamrock Feb 2019 #8
I can't think of a woman boss I have had that was bad. And some were fabulous. I have had Squinch Feb 2019 #9
For the last 15 years of my job I knew more than all my bosses and supervisors lunatica Feb 2019 #10
I had one lady boss at an Ins Agency when I was early 20s jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #12
I've had very few female bosses, but they rank among the worst I've ever had. milestogo Feb 2019 #13
A long time ago, I worked in a bank. My supervisor was a woman, and her boss was, too. Aristus Feb 2019 #14
My best boss was a woman and my worst boss was a woman. jalan48 Feb 2019 #15
Only had one woman boss, a sweet grandma when I was a a just-divorced 33 yo.... Hekate Feb 2019 #16
I've heard that ismnotwasm Feb 2019 #17
Some women nurses are really difficult with women doctors RockCreek Feb 2019 #37
This is a thing treestar Feb 2019 #88
Had great female and male bosses and many that weren't so great Jake Stern Feb 2019 #18
Totally agree nt Raine Feb 2019 #19
I think some people are just corrupt with how they use power Beringia Feb 2019 #20
Sure, tell the truth, but be up front. Don't hide behind anonymity question everything Feb 2019 #22
I've had 3 female bosses; 2 bad and 1 good. n/t area51 Feb 2019 #23
So...based on your personal experiences JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #79
What triggered you to write this OP? Are you writing a memoire? SharonClark Feb 2019 #25
Title: betsuni Feb 2019 #29
perhaps you have writing talent, also !! jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #35
... betsuni Feb 2019 #48
what language are you speaking here... jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #52
LOL betsuni Feb 2019 #62
That's pretty nasty LiberalLovinLug Feb 2019 #153
Oh dear me! NurseJackie Feb 2019 #205
Unbelievable...I hate this post and it pisses me off to see such a post from a liberal Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #41
tone it down there kid... jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #59
Say what you want but this discourages women as bosses and as presidential candidates... I have to Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #61
once again my post was MY personal history jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #94
You are saying that women bosses are shitty...using your personal history.There is a difference. Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #98
what part of MY experiences are you not getting? jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #100
100% this obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #42
BINGO sorcrow Feb 2019 #49
Nailed it. Tipperary Feb 2019 #50
Same here. LakeArenal Feb 2019 #105
My thinking exactly. PoindexterOglethorpe Feb 2019 #159
Agreed, I have a "friend" who has 6 bothers and siters who all "all mean" womanofthehills Feb 2019 #181
I am a writer jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #34
Are you? What do you write? I would love to read some of your work. PTWB Feb 2019 #109
I doubt you will get an answer. Tipperary Feb 2019 #165
Here is some of her work: demmiblue Feb 2019 #182
Wow. Just wow. PTWB Feb 2019 #208
Plagiarism seems a habit lillypaddle Feb 2019 #216
I'm sorry to have to say this, but a good writer does not use ellipses the way you do. athena Feb 2019 #114
Thank you. I was just debating whether to post something to that effect. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #123
Thank you. Tipperary Feb 2019 #166
Maybe because it is in the news now. What a rude question. nt USALiberal Feb 2019 #85
Just another "Not THAT woman" screed. n/m RhodeIslandOne Feb 2019 #189
Female bosses? They're still bosses. dchill Feb 2019 #26
'Lady boss': horrid, jealous, crazy, petty, nasty, pathetic, shitty, bullies. betsuni Feb 2019 #27
My Mom said this to me AT THE TIME..I was in my 30s jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #32
Funny, I rarely see male bosses subjected to such ...like wow male bossess are really shitty. Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #40
Yes it does Bradshaw3 Feb 2019 #82
Yeah, I am with you on this one. Tipperary Feb 2019 #39
If absolutely all your female bosses were awful, KitSileya Feb 2019 #28
good on you jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #33
My take also was your post was about Amy Klobuchar, however, my wife would second c-rational Feb 2019 #56
This isn't sexist drivel.... Dorian Gray Feb 2019 #31
Well it was a mixed bag for me, duforsure Feb 2019 #36
It is hard to see such a post my liberal women. I have had shitty bosses of both sexes. Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #38
Thank you. nt raccoon Feb 2019 #168
Yeah - not so much these days JustAnotherGen Feb 2019 #44
My two worst bosses get the red out Feb 2019 #45
177 IQ? PTWB Feb 2019 #55
Somehow, when a person actually posts the words "I am very bright," Croney Feb 2019 #68
Must be a very stable genius with JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #77
+1000 smirkymonkey Feb 2019 #127
I always had good female bosses. MuseRider Feb 2019 #57
Generalization snowybirdie Feb 2019 #58
Nearly every boss and supervisor was pretty good on average. Tetrachloride Feb 2019 #60
Interestingly, almost all my bosses mrs_p Feb 2019 #63
I'm 69 and had the same experience The Blue Flower Feb 2019 #64
I think you're right about that peggysue2 Feb 2019 #179
I was the most beautiful of all the women..... and my IQ ...higher than all of you............ womanofthehills Feb 2019 #184
This thread makes me want to leave DU JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #66
Good article. Croney Feb 2019 #70
Exactly. Tipperary Feb 2019 #71
This kind of thinking is why we have a despot in the WH JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #73
No kidding. Even a woman with an "IQ of 177" apparently is not in favor of breaking that ceiling. Tipperary Feb 2019 #74
The "1" in front of the number JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #75
Lol, I just got what you said, but then my IQ is not 177. Tipperary Feb 2019 #169
I AGREE Demsrule86 Feb 2019 #96
another anecdotal experience from my wife age 64 at140 Feb 2019 #108
My first company commander was a woman... Blanks Feb 2019 #67
Thank you. I left a job in December after 90 days... GreenEyedLefty Feb 2019 #69
When your complaint is about how the story was released... brooklynite Feb 2019 #72
So are you in favor of a woman president? Tipperary Feb 2019 #76
177 IQ, eh? Heddi Feb 2019 #78
I currently have a male boss for the first time since 2007 underpants Feb 2019 #80
My worst boss was male crazycatlady Feb 2019 #81
This message was self-deleted by its author tenderfoot Feb 2019 #83
What constitutes "horrible" might be in the eye of the beholder to some extent, The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #86
"To some extent"? JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #93
Why is it sexist to suggest that a female boss can be horrible? Male bosses can be horrible; The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #95
This was your sentence: JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #101
Again, how is that sexist? The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #103
Not what you said. JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #107
If I had said female bosses *are* objectively horrible, that would have been sexist and false. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #116
""But female bosses can be objectively horrible." JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #120
One more try and then I'm giving up. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #125
Give up. That's not what you said. JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #130
+1 Croney Feb 2019 #126
WOW! You have an IQ of 177? cwydro Feb 2019 #87
Even neater Heddi Feb 2019 #91
my youngest sibling is near 200 jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #97
Interesting, but not especially meaningful. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #111
I was just responding to a nameless faceless person on here doubting my IQ jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #118
An IQ of 177 would make you 1 in 3.5 million people muriel_volestrangler Feb 2019 #152
So with that level of intelligence - why so many bosses? Why were you not the boss? Tipperary Feb 2019 #209
You forgot to add in the photographic memory. MrsCoffee Feb 2019 #221
Especially since the Stanford-Binet test tops out at 170. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #113
Really really cool forklift Feb 2019 #193
I am 70 HockeyMom Feb 2019 #89
STEPHEN HAWKING IQ: PHYSICIST CALLED PEOPLE WHO BOAST ABOUT SCORE 'LOSERS' Heddi Feb 2019 #90
They had to increase the score ceiling because of Trump. Oneironaut Feb 2019 #112
Actually, there are several different IQ tests, with different "highest" scores... Hekate Feb 2019 #225
I'm surprised that most have been awful. I haven't had Hortensis Feb 2019 #92
This is such a strange post - I'm not sure what to take from it nini Feb 2019 #99
I think the only thing we can take from it is that the OP had bad experiences The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #106
I'm taking from it that too many DU'ers are sexist JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #110
+1 obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #211
Anecdotes aren't data. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #102
It might just have been the times, bad luck janterry Feb 2019 #104
This post is a beautiful demonstration of why Trump is president today. athena Feb 2019 #117
You are so right! lunamagica Feb 2019 #131
Thank you for telling the truth. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #119
What truth exactly? JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #124
I never said that women should not be in management positions. That is your wrongful interpretation Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #134
This is one of the most sexist posts in JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #136
Our experiences are different. That's all. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #137
That's a cop-out excuse JenniferJuniper Feb 2019 #140
Omigod. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #143
Uh... You didn't say we shouldn't glorify them you vilified them. MrsCoffee Feb 2019 #190
And you glorified them. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #194
I did no such thing. MrsCoffee Feb 2019 #196
My apologies. I was following the thread of conversation, and not the poster. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #206
"Yes, to think that women are going to be our allies out here, is a fantasy." demmiblue Feb 2019 #142
It's my experiences. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #144
Most humans can see beyond their personal experiences in order to understand the broader picture. demmiblue Feb 2019 #147
I don't think you would apply that as a "universal truth", would you? Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #149
"Yes, to think that women are going to be our allies out here, is a fantasy." demmiblue Feb 2019 #150
Let's get specific. Baitball Blogger Feb 2019 #151
All my bosses have been women. Great people. IluvPitties Feb 2019 #128
So, you don't think a woman should be POTUS? lunamagica Feb 2019 #132
They were jelous of your 177 IQ? How did they know about it?? lunamagica Feb 2019 #133
I said that MAY have been a reason jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #135
An IQ of 177 and you say you're "smarter than *them*"? The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #145
But my question was, how did they know what you IQ was? lunamagica Feb 2019 #162
Post removed Post removed Feb 2019 #163
"I will bet you are a WOMAN" obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #174
I, too, wondered how many people get tested... Phentex Feb 2019 #207
It's totally trumpian. Also James Woods and Sharon Stone love to brag about their high IQs, but what lunamagica Feb 2019 #213
hahhahahahhahahaha obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #172
FWIW, I'm male and have had good and bad women bosses. brush Feb 2019 #139
brush, I got a strong feeling that most jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #148
Just wow. MrsCoffee Feb 2019 #178
Bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out... Hekate Feb 2019 #224
I'm a man and I worked 19 years at my last company. MicaelS Feb 2019 #141
A mixed bag of bad bosses happybird Feb 2019 #146
anecdotal evidence is meaningless. I have had a varied career of over 30 years from Chemist in the still_one Feb 2019 #155
Now I'm reminiscing about some 40 years of bosses, bad and good. The Velveteen Ocelot Feb 2019 #157
My mother was one of those southern... Duppers Feb 2019 #158
"Nothing sexist?" jcgoldie Feb 2019 #160
then you would be wrong jodymarie aimee Feb 2019 #164
No, I guess you vote with your "IQ of 177." Right? Tipperary Feb 2019 #167
"I don't vote with my vagina." obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #170
Post removed Post removed Feb 2019 #175
Are you saying you are "gender blind?" (nt) ehrnst Feb 2019 #176
Jody why are you using that phrase? irisblue Feb 2019 #180
HAHAHAHHA I was wondering what Post Removed obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #192
I freaking hate that phrase. 👹👹👹👹👹 irisblue Feb 2019 #197
Same! obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #212
Goodbye. NurseJackie Feb 2019 #204
I'd offer people donuts, but she took the box when she left. lapucelle Feb 2019 #222
A small price. NurseJackie Feb 2019 #223
+1 obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #171
I bet your very pretty, 177 IQ self was just a dream to work with TexasBushwhacker Feb 2019 #173
I have had some really good female bosses. Mosby Feb 2019 #177
FFR177. n/t demmiblue Feb 2019 #183
Well deserved! n/t seaglass Feb 2019 #187
FINALLY obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #191
Oh dear. Lol. Tipperary Feb 2019 #210
My current boss is a woman RhodeIslandOne Feb 2019 #188
I don't think I have had any really shitty bosses. Male or female. LiberalFighter Feb 2019 #195
Well at least no one asked if they should wear a swim suit. MrsCoffee Feb 2019 #198
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ still_one Feb 2019 #202
I'm in my 50s NewJeffCT Feb 2019 #200
61 year old woman here & I have always preferred to work with & for women. CrispyQ Feb 2019 #203
Most "bosses," i.e., managers lillypaddle Feb 2019 #214
Most of my black bosses were horrid obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #217
Amazing isnt it. Eliot Rosewater Feb 2019 #219
It makes my head spin, man! obamanut2012 Feb 2019 #220
I have had both Male and Female bosses - both bad and good bosses....Whether they were good or bad Pachamama Feb 2019 #227
What the fresh hell is this? liberalmuse Feb 2019 #228
"Long and varied work history." Not what most employers consider a good work record. Tipperary Feb 2019 #229

elleng

(133,374 posts)
1. Women bosses can be really shitty to other women, men bosses can be shitty to women and men,
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 07:55 PM
Feb 2019

I've had them both.

And vice versa.

BigmanPigman

(52,128 posts)
2. That statement got me thinking...
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 07:59 PM
Feb 2019

my experiences and observations of bosses of both sexes. I'm with you.

mahina

(18,263 posts)
4. My women bosses were absent and my worst male boss was afraid
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:05 PM
Feb 2019

To call a terrible bully out.

I haven’t had any good bosses but I’ve had heaps of wonderful colleagues.

And one fantastic partner.
Mwould have loved a good boss.

procon

(15,805 posts)
47. Why did you post this here?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 09:34 AM
Feb 2019

We're you looking for attention with such trollish behavior? The shock factor is obivious, especially as it appears without any warning statement of the graphic content, but what did you think to accomplish posting it in an unrelated thread?

Yes, it's horrible, and every other similar adjective applies, but your purpose (whatever it was) seems too self centered to be given anything more than a rebuke. So, I resent your unnecessarily thoughtless intrusion and your untoward display of graphic animal porn into this discussion.

Response to Jeffersons Ghost (Reply #30)

obamanut2012

(26,650 posts)
3. That's nice
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:04 PM
Feb 2019

All of mine have been great, most of my make bosses have been sexist, petty tools, who favored men and barely men more than any woman who worked for them. In a profession majority women. All of my women bosses, including my current one, gets judged much harsher than any male one was.

I sincerely doubt most of your female bosses have been horrid -- you just judged them as you were raised to judge them.

mahina

(18,263 posts)
5. Lucky duck.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:08 PM
Feb 2019

I don’t know about how objective any of us can be about our own experiences but at least those are informed.

Can’t say about anyone else’s experience unless I was there.

Have you seen Pixar’s short on the ball of yarn? It’s pretty good



Laffy Kat

(16,457 posts)
6. Right.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:10 PM
Feb 2019

I always found female bosses to be more understanding with childcare issues, etc. They are also more likely to engage in dialogue about conflicts. Male bosses don't want to hear it. Yes, I've had some real doozies of female supervisors but at least I haven't been chased around my desk by one (that really happened!).

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
11. I wasn't raised to judge bosses...my mom or Nanas never worked...
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:40 PM
Feb 2019

but I am very bright...I judged by MY own experiences..I judge not by sex, by the person....the lady attny I mentioned was spectacular and all the other ladies in the office made fun of her., too...she was cosmopolitan and they were small town..

I see you are still working...I said your experiences might be different than mine...

elias7

(4,105 posts)
46. ?????
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 09:32 AM
Feb 2019

First, you tell the OP that she is probably misperceiving the situation, then when she responds, you pull a “whatever” on her? Do you need a cookie?

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
51. Any one makes claims that the OP did is dealing in women bashing in my opinon...what is there to
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:16 AM
Feb 2019

say? I think society encourages women to tear other women down which is why I wonder about a female presidential candidate in this environment.

Squinch

(51,442 posts)
53. I agree. What could possibly be the aim here, other than to say that women don't make
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:24 AM
Feb 2019

good bosses? Which is ridiculous.

elias7

(4,105 posts)
185. No one is saying that gender determines ability to lead
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 12:11 PM
Feb 2019

Her experience is certainly not mine - I’ve had male and female bosses, both good and bad, mostly good - but that doesn’t give me the right to blow her off in a condescending manner. I don’t think she is arguing that a woman cannot be president, those are your words

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
186. Change the word "woman" to "Black or Latina" and think about it.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 12:24 PM
Feb 2019

Sorry, I don't agree with you. Our women candidates have enough to deal with. They are judged on how they look, their hair if they are likeable, toughness and of course if they are a 'mean' boss of late. This OP reinforces ugly stereotypes-whether it was intended to or not. I like the poster and have enjoyed many of her offerings but not this one.

still_one

(93,910 posts)
156. The OP is perpetuating sexist bullshit, based on anecdotal experience. This is the same kind of
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:16 PM
Feb 2019

slurs hurled toward Hillary by some, and I hear it also hurled toward our female potential Democratic nominees


Beartracks

(12,983 posts)
122. I know, right? To be so dismissive of a woman's opinion and...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:24 PM
Feb 2019

... personal experience is exactly the kind of bias the poster claims to resent.

=======

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
24. Spot on.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:47 AM
Feb 2019

I have had good and bad bosses; my female bosses were far and away the best.

I suspect there is more to the story.

Beartracks

(12,983 posts)
121. So the OP is incapable of identifying difficult people on her own?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:22 PM
Feb 2019

Please explain how you know this about her.

=======

George II

(67,782 posts)
161. I worked for close to 50 years, a mix of men and women, and I couldn't characterize...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 05:33 PM
Feb 2019

...any as bad or good simply because of their gender.

Eliot Rosewater

(31,586 posts)
201. What is the point of the OP and the conversation in the first place?
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 02:59 PM
Feb 2019

Is there a MEME out there attacking Democratic women running for president or something like that?

Drahthaardogs

(6,843 posts)
7. Some of my best bosses were women, some of the worst
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:12 PM
Feb 2019

Were also women. Some of my best bosses were men, some of the worst men. Now that I am a supervisor, some of my best employees are women, some of the worst are women. Some of my best employees are nen, some of the worst are men.

Bottom line. It's just the way people are. Doesn't matter if you have an innie or an outie!

Glamrock

(11,809 posts)
8. I've had two female bosses my entire life.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:25 PM
Feb 2019

The first was Marge, she was an assistant plant manager at a liquid filling factory I worked at right out of H. S. She was as tough and mean as any boss I've ever worked for. But she had a soft side towards het employees if they met her expectations. I loved her. Not in a romantic way mind you. If I had to guess, probably a lesbian. Crewcut, missing teeth, flannel shirts, chain wallet long before that was cool. And don't get me wrong, I could give a shit less. Just painting a picture here... But I digress. She was awesome. Loved that woman. Got my ass chewed a few times from her. It was fucking terrifying! She towered over me and probably had 100#'s on my narrow ass. But, that didn't happen unless you fucked up. I had tons of respect for Marge.

My second was Randa, the sweetest most loving boss you could ever hope for. She looked upon her crew as her children, and treated us as such. She was absolutely wonderful to work for. She had the absolute loyalty of our entire crew. She was a big woman too, and at a meeting, during a smoke break, someone on another crew called her a fat ass bitch. I'm here to tell ya, it took a third crew to step in because there were 20 people getting ready to throw down in her defense, myself included. Whole Lotta shoving and "take it back fucker! Take it back! " I'd work for her again in a heartbeat.

However, my wife has had a string of female bosses. And goddamn! They are everything you talk about. Consequently, I don't think it's a matter of female vs. male. It's a matter of asshole vs. non-asshole. Just my 2 cents....

Squinch

(51,442 posts)
9. I can't think of a woman boss I have had that was bad. And some were fabulous. I have had
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:35 PM
Feb 2019

two male bosses who were awful. The only female that was impossible was a woman who was at my level but was best buddies with one of horrible male bosses.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
10. For the last 15 years of my job I knew more than all my bosses and supervisors
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:40 PM
Feb 2019

So they all treated me well. In the first couple of years I had a woman boss who was terrible. She was lazy, demanding and loaded me down with work. Once she told me that she was giving me more work because she could. I got a job in another department. Working in a University I got part time work in two departments which gave me full time work. I had one man boss and one woman boss and they were both wonderful. I loved both both my jobs. Good bosses make all the difference in your life and your health.

Then the university moved all the employees who did the same types of work out of the departments and into a cubicle farm far away from the university and ruined everything for everyone. The boss was a woman and my supervisor was a woman. The boss was hell in high heels and mistreated the supervisors forcing them to treat us badly. In my case that didn’t last long. I went directly to the boss and questioned her tactics. By this time I was in my 60s, I knew my job and had no fear when it came to confronting authority about the treatment of the employees. I was fortunate to have a union (Teamsters) and a university that made it extremely hard to fire employees. It would take years to fire people! Plus the Faculty I worked with loved me because I knew my job and was reliable. Faculty have a lot of power in universities. I was lucky because I had enough power to push back.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
12. I had one lady boss at an Ins Agency when I was early 20s
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:47 PM
Feb 2019

Gloria was hell on heels, too..Our dept had 25 women...4 of whom were her pets...the rest of us she treated like dirt...finally one day we all went to the VP...we were terrified, but brave....2 months later.... she was removed and we got a young guy boss..we were union...approx 800 employees total...

Like I said, women can be really shitty to other women...for whatever is lacking in them, I suppose...and it has nothing to do with job performance..

milestogo

(16,830 posts)
13. I've had very few female bosses, but they rank among the worst I've ever had.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:53 PM
Feb 2019

Micro-managers and bullies. No sense of their own authority, so they had to really stick it to you.

Aristus

(67,074 posts)
14. A long time ago, I worked in a bank. My supervisor was a woman, and her boss was, too.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 08:56 PM
Feb 2019

The supervisor was terrible to me. She would deliberately put me in all kinds of situations that made me look as if I was disobeying her, then she would report me to her boss.

After enough of these situations would occur, I would get called in for a talk with the boss. She was sympathetic to my case, and even told me she knew the supervisor was doing it deliberately. She had gotten several people fired for essentially made-up reasons. She never got around to saying why the supervisor's own behavior wasn't grounds for firing, or at least for disciplinary action.

I never attributed the supervisor's actions to the fact that I was a man; just that she was vicious, and used to getting her own way.

The workplace situation is much different now. As a medical provider in a clinic, I'm shown a great deal of deference, and could probably get away with a ton of shit. The clinic has a chronic shortage of medical providers, and as a result, no one wants to offend one of us so that we pack up and leave. But acting like a workplace asshole is not how I've ever rolled. So I've built a strong, cohesive team that loves working together. Several of my staff have told me that if I ever leave the company, they want to go with me. That's very gratifying.

jalan48

(14,062 posts)
15. My best boss was a woman and my worst boss was a woman.
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 09:00 PM
Feb 2019

The best one pitched in and did the work of line staff when we were short-handed. She was liked and respected by everyone. My worst boss was young-late 20's with an enormous sense of entitlement. She thought her job was to delegate and criticize.

Hekate

(92,523 posts)
16. Only had one woman boss, a sweet grandma when I was a a just-divorced 33 yo....
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 09:45 PM
Feb 2019

Last edited Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:39 AM - Edit history (1)

Unfortunately it was a part time job and when my ex lost his job (hence most of my child support) I had to move on.

My worst job EVER was for a man. Bejaysus he was awful, screaming and swearing from 8am to 5pm. I broke two molars from grinding my teeth. It was the only job in my life that I quit without another job to go to the next day. One day he came steaming back from a meeting I had set up and said the man he was supposed to meet was not there. Okay, so I phone to see what happened and am told the secretary had a miscarriage so several things in the office fell thru the cracks. While I was making appropriate sympathetic sounds preparatory to rescheduling the meeting, the *hole who was my boss yanked the phone from my hand so he could scream at the woman at the other end of the line.

The man before him would shtup anything in a skirt that didn't move out of his way. I worked for him for 4 years because by gods I needed that job, but I kept moving out of his way and in general behaved like I was immune to his manly charms. The woman hired after me caught a dose of the clap from him.

Anyway, after the screamer I lucked into the best boss of my life, bar none. He was such a good soul, a good ol' boy raised in a lumber camp where his parents were the cooks. I remember him with great fondness.

You never know.



ismnotwasm

(42,232 posts)
17. I've heard that
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 09:54 PM
Feb 2019

I’ve been a nurse for 26 years and I’ve never had women specific problems, in a woman dominated field. Ever. I wonder if it’s how power structures are set up? Or how women are taught to perceive themselves and others? I’ve talked to other nurses who felt differently, and definitely had gender specific problems. What did you think of your male bosses?

I find I adore it when one of our medical or surgical teams is mostly or all women, it’s like a missing piece has finally been placed for great patient care, men are great as well, but when we get that balance, it’s the best thing ever.

RockCreek

(749 posts)
37. Some women nurses are really difficult with women doctors
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:21 AM
Feb 2019

Sometimes it os subtle, in just treating the male doctors better. More ready to make calls, restock, get vitals, whatever support is needed for male doctors. Even when the males and females are at the same seniority, etc level.

treestar

(82,383 posts)
88. This is a thing
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:08 PM
Feb 2019

I only worked for men, but the secretaries would be women often older than me. They would snipe at me or complain if I changed things - it was in the days before word processors, so if I changed something, that made her work look bad! This did not always happen, as I did have some helpful and supportive secretaries. When I got to a point where one was assigned to me, they were starting to be younger than me, and that made a difference. I think the older ones resented a younger woman professional and their generation was one that initially stayed home as housewives and if they worked, would always be the secretary rather than the executive.

By now, that generation is retired or gone, so it is probably less of a thing.

Jake Stern

(3,145 posts)
18. Had great female and male bosses and many that weren't so great
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 10:35 PM
Feb 2019

That being said my experience is that I tend to prefer male managers.

One important reason is that I've found that male managers seem to nip workplace squabbles in the bud much quicker than female managers and aren't as hesitant about showing people the door who cause trouble.

Had a guy at one of my jobs that was just a total asshole to me. He would deliberately mess up my shelves and would frequently use profanity toward me.

The female assistant manager told me she didn't want to let him go because he's "has kids to feed". The male store manager had no such qualms and finally fired his foul mouthed, bad attitude ass.

Beringia

(4,359 posts)
20. I think some people are just corrupt with how they use power
Sat Feb 23, 2019, 10:58 PM
Feb 2019

I think in general men have often grown up to be groomed to get power whereas women are not. Then when a woman gets it, she may be unconfident in how she uses it. Then many women are more socialized to cooperate, not compete, so don't end up tyrants like some men. So confluence of who the person is deep down, how they are socialized and how they handle power.

question everything

(48,096 posts)
22. Sure, tell the truth, but be up front. Don't hide behind anonymity
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:58 AM
Feb 2019

Especially if you have long left the job and found something else.

And, don't be used by others to manipulate people and news.

betsuni

(26,602 posts)
29. Title:
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 06:08 AM
Feb 2019

My Life: Lady Bosses Are Horrid Jealous Crazy Petty Nasty Pathetic Shitty Bullies, A Memoir.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
35. perhaps you have writing talent, also !!
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:15 AM
Feb 2019

If you intuit, I am describing most of MY lady bosses....this is MY life history and MY OP..thanks for your wisdom, tho!! May it take you far in YOUR life.

betsuni

(26,602 posts)
48. ...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 09:37 AM
Feb 2019

"Perhaps you are not a professional writer as am I also too! I Inuit describing MY lady bosses so horrible and MY history and MY OP which has no relationship to wisdom, tho!!

LiberalLovinLug

(14,246 posts)
153. That's pretty nasty
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:00 PM
Feb 2019

Hyper Grammar police. And you don't stop there....you also have to laugh in her face.

nice.

I wouldn't want to work for you.

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
41. Unbelievable...I hate this post and it pisses me off to see such a post from a liberal
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:31 AM
Feb 2019

woman. I suppose this is an attack on Sen. Klobuchar. I don't suppose the poster realizes it makes an argument against all women candidates as being unfit to serve in any capacity much less as president.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
59. tone it down there kid...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:48 AM
Feb 2019

my post most certainly does no such thing..I am almost 68 years old....I have a long history OF LIFE...and this was part of MY working life...

I don't know you and will never meet you...I have no desire to open a dialogue with you...I have work to do for my DEMS..I do a daily newsletter for them. My best friend is my State Rep...and she is magnificent....neither of us use the word HATE.

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
61. Say what you want but this discourages women as bosses and as presidential candidates... I have to
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:52 AM
Feb 2019

wonder why you would post so negatively toward women. We face enough shit from men without progressive women helping to reinforce the worst stereotypes.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
94. once again my post was MY personal history
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:27 PM
Feb 2019

I consider myself a human....not locked into gender roles and I never stereotype. Judge folks on their actions, not their gender for pity's sake.

On the flip side, I am a 4 time rape victim and domestic abuse survivor...and I do NOT hate all men...ACTIONS, PEOPLE....

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
98. You are saying that women bosses are shitty...using your personal history.There is a difference.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:33 PM
Feb 2019

And I won't respond again so don't feel any need to answer this. I find this terrible in a year when we have multiple female candidates running for president...just my opinion. I don't see the good in this post...just the opposite.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
100. what part of MY experiences are you not getting?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:37 PM
Feb 2019

MY work history, MY bosses...I certainly would not vote for any of them for President!!! Just because of their gender. Judge as a human, not a man or a woman. Equal means equal.

obamanut2012

(26,650 posts)
42. 100% this
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:33 AM
Feb 2019

And, if a person's female bosses have almost totally been horrid, there is ONE common factor there, and it isn't the bosses being women, it's the person they are supervising who cannot work with women supervising them.

I am a woman, and a boss, and a good one, and a mentoring one, and that goes for the women who have been MY bosses since my first job in HS.

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
50. Nailed it.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:09 AM
Feb 2019

Sad to see this here. Substitute any other minority name in the title, and I would imagine it would be removed. Smh.

LakeArenal

(29,301 posts)
105. Same here.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:52 PM
Feb 2019

Personalities clash. Work still needs to get done. Same personalities just different faces with different jobs.

Always going to have someone who thinks they know more than you, had more experience than you, the cynical, the hard workers, the habitually late, the loyal, the troublemaker, the victim, the pleaser.

Part of life. Especially in the work world.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(26,043 posts)
159. My thinking exactly.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 05:08 PM
Feb 2019

If all or most of her female bosses were horrid, then what is it they have in common?

I'm 70, and I've had good and bad female and male bosses. I recall back in the '70s people constantly put forth that women were terrible bosses, and that misperception was used to keep from promoting women. Some people aren't good at being a boss. It has little to do with their gender.

womanofthehills

(9,012 posts)
181. Agreed, I have a "friend" who has 6 bothers and siters who all "all mean"
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 11:37 AM
Feb 2019

6 brothers and sisters all talk and get alone. One common factor here too. All of them are just mean to only her.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
34. I am a writer
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:12 AM
Feb 2019

and I assume my reader intuits...I assume my reader is intelligent. I compliment your French spelling..

lillypaddle

(9,593 posts)
216. Plagiarism seems a habit
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 06:33 PM
Feb 2019

called her out on something she posted that was off twitter, and credit was not given. She did, however, repost with proper credit.

I looked for the post in order to link it, but my posts don't go back prior to January.

athena

(4,187 posts)
114. I'm sorry to have to say this, but a good writer does not use ellipses the way you do.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:10 PM
Feb 2019

A good writer does not use ellipses to circumvent the need for correct punctuation. In fact, the use of ellipses in this way is a pretty strong indication that the writer has not had the benefit of a good education.

Someone who claims to be a writer while making the most basic of grammar mistakes does not have a lot of credibility when she claims that her bosses were unfairly mean to her. Perhaps your female bosses had higher standards than your male bosses.

See:
https://www.writing-skills.com/five-annoying-ways-use-ellipsis

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
123. Thank you. I was just debating whether to post something to that effect.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:29 PM
Feb 2019

The profligate and inappropriate use of ellipses is not good writing. They are normally used to show that something has been omitted, either literally or by suggestion. They have their place, maybe when writing dialog in a novel to express hesitation or the leaving of something unsaid, but there's no need to sprinkle them all over everything. "Depending on their context and placement in a sentence, ellipses can indicate an unfinished thought, a leading statement, a slight pause, an echoing voice, or a nervous or awkward silence. Aposiopesis is the use of an ellipsis to trail off into silence—for example: "But I thought he was …" When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing." I don't think any of those expressions were intended in the OP. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis

betsuni

(26,602 posts)
27. 'Lady boss': horrid, jealous, crazy, petty, nasty, pathetic, shitty, bullies.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 06:03 AM
Feb 2019

"My Mom said ... Rosemary is jealous of you ... 177 IQ and I was very pretty. ... And there is nothing mean or catty or sexist in telling the truth."

This 58-year-old woman thinks:


 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
32. My Mom said this to me AT THE TIME..I was in my 30s
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:07 AM
Feb 2019

I told her she was wrong..now, in retrospect, more than double that age. I see she had some insight..... thru the years Rosemary continued to berate female employees....4 husbands, etc...

I am happy you never had a boss who made you dread driving to work every day..and sit in your car at lunch and cry...

If you think it is funny to berate employees or DU brothers and sisters, have at it !!! But your laughter says way more about you than it does your victim...

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
40. Funny, I rarely see male bosses subjected to such ...like wow male bossess are really shitty.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:27 AM
Feb 2019

Just the ladies and this is why I hesitate to vote for a woman candidate for president. What chance is there when our own sex holds such views?

Bradshaw3

(7,742 posts)
82. Yes it does
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:47 PM
Feb 2019

There are certain posters on here who act toward fellow DUers like they would trumpsters. People have life experiences that don't fit with the PC lens some have and think everyone else should have, regardless of real life.

I've had mostly bad bosses but the best one was a young female while the two worst were older, one male and one female. I was the only male in the shop with the female boss and all the females hated her.

KitSileya

(4,035 posts)
28. If absolutely all your female bosses were awful,
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 06:07 AM
Feb 2019

the only thing they all had in common were being female, and you. You say "most of [your] female bosses were horrid" - does that mean there were some who weren't? What percentage of your female bosses would you classify as horrid? Any of the male bosses you would also call horrid? Could the factor that made them horrid be you rather than their gender?

I figure your post is about Amy Klobuchar, but it's interesting that another candidate in the race has also been called a horrible boss by their employees, and this candidate has even admitted being a horrible boss.... but you don't see stories about what a horrible boss this candidate is and has been smeared all over the media... I wonder why?

c-rational

(2,722 posts)
56. My take also was your post was about Amy Klobuchar, however, my wife would second
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:29 AM
Feb 2019

your feelings about female bosses.

duforsure

(11,885 posts)
36. Well it was a mixed bag for me,
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:18 AM
Feb 2019

With male and female bosses, some good , and some bad, but they learned not to bother me because it was so easy to let them make themselves look really really bad , and the good ones it was a pleasure making them look good, and some really , really were very good at anything they did, and were so nice to work with. The liars and BSers mostly were exposed , and the ones who knew their business did well. The worst one was a guy who thought people worked better when they were pissed off. He would intentionally get people against each other then watch. His future ended up not so good and his practices were so bad he was pretty much forced out after he showed he wasn't so good as he liked to pretend he was, and after getting exposed it didn't last long for him.

Demsrule86

(69,897 posts)
38. It is hard to see such a post my liberal women. I have had shitty bosses of both sexes.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:23 AM
Feb 2019

Seriously, as women we don't have enough to deal without destroying each other? I find this post and most of the responses nauseating.

get the red out

(13,474 posts)
45. My two worst bosses
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:41 AM
Feb 2019

I am 54 and my twos worst bosses were equal opportunity, one man and one woman. I will admit they were horrible in different ways, but personality plays into that, as well as gender expectations.

 

PTWB

(4,131 posts)
55. 177 IQ?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:28 AM
Feb 2019

Higher than both Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking! Wow!

I’m sorry about your bosses. FWIW I’ve had a mixed bag. My worst boss was a man. My best two were split, one man and one woman.

I am a little grossed out that your brush is so broad. I will simply say that bosses come in many varieties and it is my experience that female bosses are just as likely to be amazing, and as awful, as male bosses. It’s almosy as if gender isn’t a factor at all! Hmmm.

Croney

(4,740 posts)
68. Somehow, when a person actually posts the words "I am very bright,"
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:25 AM
Feb 2019

my thoughts wander off the intended train of thought.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
77. Must be a very stable genius with
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:27 PM
Feb 2019

a very, very, very large brain and all the best words.

You know how that goes.

MuseRider

(34,277 posts)
57. I always had good female bosses.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:40 AM
Feb 2019

I really never had but one bad boss and he locked me in the cooler when I would not let him stand behind me and rub me while I worked. I lasted less than one day there. When one of the other employees opened the cooler up I walked out and never returned.

I think I probably had about an equal mixture and all were OK to me and fair I thought.

EDIT to add: I am 65. I worked in food service for a little time, was a zookeeper, group piano teacher, a printer, a secretary, taught music lessons and eventually became a nurse in the ER and then the ICU. Also still playing in the symphony so I have been around and had a lot of bosses. I fail to understand what this is all about. Men and women can either be shitty to people or not. You had bad luck it seems.

Tetrachloride

(8,101 posts)
60. Nearly every boss and supervisor was pretty good on average.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 10:49 AM
Feb 2019

I appreciate all that I was able to learn from my bosses. The first ones were mainly below par. Then it got better in college. Nearly ever boss was male.

One female boss in another section of my first company set a high bar and we can hear her yelling over the company radio. The rest of us smiled because that was not our section.

Another female boss had stress from her personal life seep into her work.

In conclusion, not one female boss was unprofessional.

My mother on the other hand. That's a story of nicotine addiction and stress from professionalism and from an unbalanced family.

mrs_p

(3,027 posts)
63. Interestingly, almost all my bosses
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:03 AM
Feb 2019

Up to my current job have been women. Mostly fabulous, strong, usually strict women. My current male boss is actually similar. I guess I’ve been lucky. There are only two bosses - one man and one woman - I’ve hated.

The Blue Flower

(5,527 posts)
64. I'm 69 and had the same experience
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:09 AM
Feb 2019

I always attributed my female managers' awfulness to the fact that the very fact of women in positions of power was new to my generation, so there was some deep insecurity going on. I was also an attractive young woman with a high IQ. They would come to me to ask for guidance and advice, then give me the shaft because I knew their weak areas. I hope the current generation of female managers is more confident within themselves. It was miserable to go to a job every day knowing I was going to be treated badly.

peggysue2

(11,109 posts)
179. I think you're right about that
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 10:30 AM
Feb 2019

I share the experience of some really bad female bosses and I'm within your age bracket. Women in higher management was something 'new' when I started out and too frequently there was a habit that women in charge had to prove themselves as tough as their male counterparts. Sometimes to the extreme. Also had to do with basic personalities and temperaments. Some people, male or female, are difficult to deal with in any situation.

Don't think there's anything sexist in reporting what the conditions were 'back in the day.' Women struggled in the workplace, particularly those promoted into positions of power. Getting there and staying there was a challenge. Over time, this has worked itself out. Women are more confident, better educated, more accepted but the struggle continues to be perceived as equal.

And yes, it is miserable to show up everyday knowing you're likely to butt heads and feel belittled. It was worse for my mother's generation--women who needed to work despite wretched conditions--but then better for our daughters.

We're getting there!

womanofthehills

(9,012 posts)
184. I was the most beautiful of all the women..... and my IQ ...higher than all of you............
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 12:04 PM
Feb 2019

............and had ME TOO moments... with all 4 male supervisors..... Decided to become self-employed. Love to all the women bosses. I was an awesome one.

Croney

(4,740 posts)
70. Good article.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:36 AM
Feb 2019

"Forty years of research proves women are better managers than men..."

My view... A manager is usually either a man or a woman, with a 50% chance of being seen as a "good" manager, just like a gay or straight manager can be good or bad. No need to add gender, race, or orientation to the criteria for labeling a manager good or bad.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
73. This kind of thinking is why we have a despot in the WH
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:02 PM
Feb 2019

Too many people couldn't deal with a woman being POTUS

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
74. No kidding. Even a woman with an "IQ of 177" apparently is not in favor of breaking that ceiling.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:07 PM
Feb 2019

Astounding.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
75. The "1" in front of the number
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:11 PM
Feb 2019

an errant typo, but regardless, all of the others wholeheartedly agreeing with her are sickening.

I've seen too much of this here recently, and it's all been allowed to stand.

I think it's time for me to leave.

at140

(6,117 posts)
108. another anecdotal experience from my wife age 64
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:57 PM
Feb 2019

She has worked in medical office billing, reception, management all her life.
SHe has worked for a large heart specialist practice in Chicago suburbs,
3 doctors practice in CA, a large family medicine practice in WA state, 3 Chiropractor practice in WA.
She has nothing good to say about her female bosses except ONE!
Most were rude, bossy, incompetent, practiced favoritism, and petty.

On the other hand all female doctors she worked with were praise-worthy.
Male doctors were even better.

Blanks

(4,835 posts)
67. My first company commander was a woman...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:18 AM
Feb 2019

When I got out of basic training and arrived at my first assignment in the army. A maintenance company in a maintenance battalion in Germany.

She was ok, not the worst. At least as good at that as the men who came along to the same position after she moved on.

There weren’t a lot of female role models in leadership in that kind of position at the time. I think she was scrutinized more by subordinates (probably superiors too) than the men who held that position.

That was in 1980. Women have held more leadership positions since then than they did before then. Some are good leaders, some are bad leaders, just like men. We’re all humans and a product of our upbringing and environment.

GreenEyedLefty

(2,074 posts)
69. Thank you. I left a job in December after 90 days...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:25 AM
Feb 2019

... because my boss was a fucking despot. Who happened to be a woman. The office was an open concept with conference rooms for private conversations. She pulled me into conference rooms to berate, belittle and bully me on a regular. She was so bizarre. When I caught myself rationalizing her behavior I knew I was done there.

The last berating session was on a Friday, I resigned the following Monday morning and was allowed to walk out the door that morning. I have no job right now and it's fine. I'm extremely fortunate to not need one desperately although I need to line up something soon.

Most of my bosses have been women. Some were great. The one above, hands down the worst.

brooklynite

(96,728 posts)
72. When your complaint is about how the story was released...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 11:44 AM
Feb 2019

If TMZ could find out about this, so could any campaign's oppo unit.

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
76. So are you in favor of a woman president?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:18 PM
Feb 2019

Or do you think they would be jealous of “pretty women with high IQs?” Curious.

underpants

(184,076 posts)
80. I currently have a male boss for the first time since 2007
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:41 PM
Feb 2019

Only my second male boss since 1998.

I'm a male. I've had great female bosses over the years and not seen any of the things you describe. Okay I did have two female bosses at a truly bizarre workplace for 4 years. The first two years were mostly good but then the whole place to a wild crazy turn. And this was a charity.

crazycatlady

(4,492 posts)
81. My worst boss was male
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:45 PM
Feb 2019

Actually my worst two.

Boss #1 (worst by far). Yelled at everyone like a drill sergeant. ALso expected of me to be his personal chauffeur in and out of a city I'm not comfortable driving in. I compromised by going (20 minutes) out of the way to drop him off at a train station. The worst incident was when I (for once) did something right in his eyes. He patted me on the head and said 'good girl.' He then yelled at me when I asked him if he would like me to play fetch and roll over.

Boss #2-- Didn't properly onboard me (yelled at me for things like procedural issues that should have been covered in training, which I did not have). Very micromanaging. He transferred me to another office because my counterpart there was getting ready to go up the chain about a problem with him. He was in a (romantic) relationship with one of my underlings there (the reason the other guy was transferred) and it made it an awkward as fuck situation.

Response to jodymarie aimee (Original post)

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
86. What constitutes "horrible" might be in the eye of the beholder to some extent,
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 12:50 PM
Feb 2019

and yes, women are held to a different standard as bosses. We're held to different standards for everything. But some boss behavior is always horrible. Throwing things, yelling, demeaning an employee in front of other employees, making you dread coming to work, are all horrible, no matter whether done by a man or a woman.

Of course this is about the accusations that Amy Klobuchar was one of those horrible bosses. She has been defended on the ground that the same behavior that would be described as tough and demanding by a male boss is considered unacceptably awful by a female boss, and that the accusations are either sexist or a right-wing attempt at ratf*cking, or both. But female bosses can be objectively horrible. Whether Klobuchar is (or was) one such boss is a fair question and one that's been haunting her since before she was elected to the Senate. I will withhold judgment, however, until somebody has enough guts to attach their names to their complaints.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
93. "To some extent"?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:20 PM
Feb 2019

No, it's generally in the eye of the beholder. And is very frequently tied to the performance of of the employee.

I've been a "female manager" for 30 years. I've had many 360 reviews, many skip level meetings involving my superiors meeting with my direct staff to discuss my performance as a manager (twice a year now), and everyone that leaves get a an exit interview with HR. There are many eyes on first level managers in my profession.

Invariably the good/middle level performers rank me as excellent, supporter mentor and if they leave it's usually for a better opportunity elsewhere, one that I helped prepare them for. But there are employees who don't like me one bit. Invariably, they are people that simply wouldn't or couldn't do the type of work that is required. It's not easy work and lots of people aren't cut out for it or aren't interested in putting sufficient effort in. And then there are those who disappear for hours every day, or come back from lunch intoxicated, or are abusive to fellow employees (and sometimes me).

I don't fire people very often, but there are often discussions along the lines of "maybe this line of work isn't for you", often with me providing whatever career counseling and alternatives that I can. But relatively few of these employees ever see the problem as being them. It has to be someone else. Usually the manager.

I've had bad bosses too. Who hasn't? But when you make statements like "But female bosses can be objectively horrible", you are perpetuating the myth that women are worse managers than men, simply because they are female. And that is sexist bullshit.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
95. Why is it sexist to suggest that a female boss can be horrible? Male bosses can be horrible;
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:28 PM
Feb 2019

why can't women? I've had a few really horrible male bosses. (I've never had a truly horrible female boss, though I've had a couple I didn't care much for.) If a female boss throws things and screams at her employees is that OK? IMO it's not OK, just as it wouldn't be OK if a man did it. Female bosses can be horrible as that quality is objectively observed. That's because they're human beings, all of whom, regardless of gender, are capable of bad behavior. Don't you think it's sexist to suggest that no woman can ever be an objectively bad boss?

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
101. This was your sentence:
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:43 PM
Feb 2019

"But female bosses can be objectively horrible."

Whether you recognize it as such or not, that's a misogynist statement.

"But African American bosses can be objectively horrible."

Would you consider that statement racist? Same thing.


The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
103. Again, how is that sexist?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:50 PM
Feb 2019

A boss who throws things and screams at or demeans an employee is an objectively horrible boss, regardless of that person's gender, race, or any other characteristic. Any human being can be an objectively horrible boss. Human beings include women. QED. That female bosses can be objectively horrible is a statement of fact. If I had said female bosses are objectively horrible, that would have been sexist, as well as false. See the difference?

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
107. Not what you said.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:57 PM
Feb 2019

You specified female bosses.

But if we're talking about people screaming throwing things, I've only seen male managers do that. But that's anecdotal and therefore meaningless, so I'd never say male bosses as a group are worse. Just me, though.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
116. If I had said female bosses *are* objectively horrible, that would have been sexist and false.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:13 PM
Feb 2019

But I didn't say that. I said they can be, which is neither false nor sexist. But I'm done arguing since you can't seem to figure out the difference.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
120. ""But female bosses can be objectively horrible."
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:21 PM
Feb 2019

"But African American bosses can be objectively horrible."

Do you see how offensive this is? Do you not see it's the same thing?

Saying "All bosses can be objectively horrible" would be a non-sexist statement. Your sentence was sexist.

The problem with misogyny is that it is so ingrained in our culture that even well-meaning progressive people can't see that they themselves are part of the problem.

Heddi

(18,312 posts)
91. Even neater
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:17 PM
Feb 2019

when the highest possible IQ score is 162!!! that makes it SUPER DUPER EXTRA neat!

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
97. my youngest sibling is near 200
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:31 PM
Feb 2019

don't know where you get your stats from...I was born in 1951 not 2019...tests may differ now...here you go doll..

Ainan Celeste Cawley (IQ score: 263)
William James Sidis (IQ score: 250-300)
Terence Tao (IQ score: 225-230)
Marilyn Vos Savant (IQ score: 228)
Christopher Hirata (IQ score: 225)
Kim Ung-Yong (IQ score: 210)
Edith Stern (IQ score: 200+)
Christopher Michael Langan (IQ score: 190 – 210)
Garry Kasparov (IQ score: 194)
Philip Emeagwali (IQ score: 190)
Judit Polgar (IQ score: 170)
Albert Einstein (IQ score: 160 – 190)
Stephen Hawking (IQ score: 160)

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
111. Interesting, but not especially meaningful.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:06 PM
Feb 2019

And sometimes these IQ numbers were extrapolated and, shall we say, stretched a bit. For example, wrt Marilyn Vos Savant: "Miss Savant was given an old version of the Stanford-Binet (Terman & Merrill 1937), which did, indeed, use the antiquated formula of MA/CA × 100. But in the test manual’s norms, the Binet does not permit IQs to rise above 170 at any age. So, the psychologist who came up with an IQ of 228 committed an extrapolation of a misconception, thereby violating almost every rule imaginable concerning the meaning of IQs." https://www.scienceabc.com/humans/who-are-some-of-the-people-with-the-highest-iq.html

It's also interesting that with the exceptions of Einstein, Hawking and Kasparov, these people have managed to remain obscure, known only for their high IQ scores.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
118. I was just responding to a nameless faceless person on here doubting my IQ
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:14 PM
Feb 2019

that's all...I also have a photographic memory, as does my brother..I can look at a page in a book and know what is on it without reading....this came in handy in school..when I was young, I thought everyone was like that...I can take NO CREDIT for my IQ anymore that I can take credit for green eyes...DNA...

I ONLY mentioned intelligence regarding spiteful bosses...as jealousies can arise from that boss for many reasons...

muriel_volestrangler

(101,818 posts)
152. An IQ of 177 would make you 1 in 3.5 million people
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:58 PM
Feb 2019

So, about the 90th most intelligent person in the USA.

IQ is defined as a bell curve around the central figure of 100, with one standard deviation being 15.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_classification

So 175 would be five standard deviations above the average; which is 1 in 3.5 million.

As the Wikipedia entry shows, no-one normally talks about IQ levels that high, because trying to measure them in any meaningful way is extremely hard. But it would certainly take very specialised tests, and the subject would clearly be outstanding in their chosen field. And unlikely to have a succession of jobs with bosses that can keep them down.

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
209. So with that level of intelligence - why so many bosses? Why were you not the boss?
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 04:30 PM
Feb 2019

Enquiring minds want to know.

 

HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
89. I am 70
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:12 PM
Feb 2019

Some female bosses I had were good, and some were bad. I would say the same for male bosses. We are all individuals.

I had a friend back in the 60's who owned a dress store. She designed and sewed all the dresses. I made a lot of my own dresses then, and did so on the side for others. She asked me if I would work her in store because she wanted to open another store with a different line of products, and did not have the time for the dress store full time. I agree to on a part time basis.

Probably not a typical employer/employee situation. Friends first? Plus, I was not paid a set salary. I got a percentage of all the sales the store sold. After all, the majority of the dress were my designs and my dressmaking skills. More of a partnership? She was the best female boss I ever had.

Heddi

(18,312 posts)
90. STEPHEN HAWKING IQ: PHYSICIST CALLED PEOPLE WHO BOAST ABOUT SCORE 'LOSERS'
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:14 PM
Feb 2019
https://www.newsweek.com/what-stephen-hawkings-iq-score-late-physicist-called-people-who-care-losers-843895

Stephen Hawking, seen by many as the world's smartest person, never revealed his IQ score. It’s not even known if he took an IQ test.
..
When asked in a 2004 interview with The New York Times what his IQ is, Hawking gave a curt reply: “I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.”

------
Boy, 11, gets higher IQ test score than Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking's estimated marks

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/boy-iq-test-score-albert-einstein-stephen-hawking-11-year-old-arnav-sharma-a7814946.html

The so-called genius benchmark is set at 140 and Arnav Sharma gained a score of 162 - the maximum possible result you can achieve on the paper.

----

So our own DU'er has an IQ score HIGHER THAN THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE IQ SCORE!!! OMG!!!

Hekate

(92,523 posts)
225. Actually, there are several different IQ tests, with different "highest" scores...
Tue Feb 26, 2019, 12:42 AM
Feb 2019

I find percentiles more useful, but either way, you can get a pretty good feeling for what is low, average, and high.

They don't by any means correlate with achievements IRL, as so much there depends on social skills, which not everyone is gifted with.

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
92. I'm surprised that most have been awful. I haven't had
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:19 PM
Feb 2019

a lot of female superiors, but I'd say they ranged from very good to middlin' to bad. I think the one way in which a couple were "worse" than men were in developing cliquish relationships with women employees.

But the men had their own problems. In early years a benignly insulting behavior required of all lower level female employees was the norm. I never took to the cute, head-tilted apologetic aspect expected when making even the most reasonable request.

I was also never hit up by a female boss, refused training or advancement to a position I'd earned, or expected to accept low-pay assignments because I was the female. All occurred while working for men. Twice I was forced to advance by lateral moves to other companies because men would only hire men for the positions I wanted.

nini

(16,679 posts)
99. This is such a strange post - I'm not sure what to take from it
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:37 PM
Feb 2019

Should women not be bosses then? Are we not judging women the same we do men? Should bosses only be men?

?????






The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
106. I think the only thing we can take from it is that the OP had bad experiences
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:55 PM
Feb 2019

with female bosses, for reasons that are not clear. But anecdotes aren't data. There are bad bosses everywhere, some male, some female. Clearly it's intended as a comment relating to reports that Sen. Klobuchar was or is a difficult boss. The OP had some difficult female bosses. I don't know whether that's intended to try to prove that Klobuchar was a bad boss or just that it's possible for a woman to be a bad boss. Beyond that, it's just anecdotes FWIW.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
110. I'm taking from it that too many DU'ers are sexist
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:05 PM
Feb 2019

and misogynistic and they can't even see how offensive their comments are.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
102. Anecdotes aren't data.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:46 PM
Feb 2019

I would guess that most people will have maybe a dozen or so direct supervisors during their working lives - maybe more if you changed jobs a lot; maybe less. Chances are that if you are old like me, more of them will have been men - just because until relatively recently it was more difficult for women to get to be bosses. Most of my bosses were men, not only because I'm old but also because most of my jobs were in male-dominated industries. A few of those men were terrible bosses, a few were great, and most were so-so. I also had a few female bosses. None were as spectacularly awful as the worst male boss, one was excellent, and the other two were neither good nor bad. On the basis of my personal experiences I can't offer a conclusion about the relative awfulness of male vs. female bosses. I do know that humans of both genders are capable of treating others very badly.

 

janterry

(4,429 posts)
104. It might just have been the times, bad luck
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 01:52 PM
Feb 2019

or niche career choices .

I suppose one way to think about it - is that some of these women were trailblazers and developed skills that were less people oriented - and more about how to break through the mini-glass ceilings that were ALL over the place during your work life.

For some women, being tougher - and demanding more - was one way to break through.

Another hypothesis is that women didn't always have a way to model being in power. I know as a kid, even games where one person was the leader - well, they weren't as accessible for young girls. So, until more recently, we hadn't - as a sex - had the same opportunities to develop 'boss' skills.

Or you could have just had poor luck. That happens.

Or some combination of all three (or two) or some of this and lots of other things I have no idea about.

I had two horrible bosses who were women, and a few that were okay. Also some men that were terrible (OMG) and a few that were.....just okay. But I keep in mind that my observations were skewed by the places I have worked (psych. hospitals, prisons, juvenile detention). I never worked in really progressive, thoughtful places. Most of my jobs have included some element of danger - and some were really abusive. If you work in those kinds of facilities, it's likely that it will attract marginal workers and....yelp! some will 'rise' and........supervise me.

athena

(4,187 posts)
117. This post is a beautiful demonstration of why Trump is president today.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:14 PM
Feb 2019

Women can be just as sexist as men.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
119. Thank you for telling the truth.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:16 PM
Feb 2019

Trying to make it through the day in an office setting during the eighties was a trial with women bosses so insecure about themselves, that they had to tear us all down. That was how they asserted their authority.

And then later, in the community when I tried to traverse the political landmines in a community that worked in secrecy, it was the Good ole Gals that provided the most challenge.

Yes, to think that women are going to be our allies out here, is a fantasy.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
124. What truth exactly?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 02:29 PM
Feb 2019

That women shouldn't be in management positions because they all tear other women down?

Do you have any objective evidence that this is true or have you turned your own personal problem into a universal truth? It's bullshit either way. And full-on misogyny.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
134. I never said that women should not be in management positions. That is your wrongful interpretation
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:02 PM
Feb 2019

Just that it's a fantasy to think that they are going to be easy mentors to anyone.

Just like everybody else, women in leadership positions have their own agenda. Why should you expect otherwise? And our experiences should be accepted and respected, instead of being beaten into submission. Why, that's what men would do.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
137. Our experiences are different. That's all.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:14 PM
Feb 2019

I am never going to close my mind and eyes to abusive situations. It's just not who I am. It's also why I'm never going to be a joiner to any organization that requires complete allegiance.

JenniferJuniper

(4,520 posts)
140. That's a cop-out excuse
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:22 PM
Feb 2019

You are using your limited world experience to form universal truths about half the world's population.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
143. Omigod.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:33 PM
Feb 2019

I am willing to bet that if you faced an abusive situation, it would define you, as it defines us all.

What is happening here is that you think I apply my experiences as a "universal truth." That is your blindspot. What I am saying is that we should not glorify all women bosses, just because they are women. Back in the seventy and eighties we thought that putting women in management positions would suddenly be the break in the dam that would release all of us. It wasn't. That is a reality. We all still had to fight our own battles and be aware that sometimes we would find the most sympathy from our male bosses. Sometimes it happens that way.

Regardless of my experiences, it is common sense that one would be foolish to walk into a work environment without giving everyone, male or female, the benefit of the doubt.

MrsCoffee

(5,803 posts)
190. Uh... You didn't say we shouldn't glorify them you vilified them.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 01:37 PM
Feb 2019

"Yes, to think that women are going to be our allies out here, is a fantasy"

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
194. And you glorified them.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 01:58 PM
Feb 2019

It is a terrible thing to send our daughters into the world expecting to find nothing but kinship with women who hold positions of authority over them. It doesn't happen that way for everyone. In my case, the day the woman manager was fired there was a shout of joy that resounded around the room. It was a room that consisted of over fifty women. She was racist and manipulative.

MrsCoffee

(5,803 posts)
196. I did no such thing.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 02:22 PM
Feb 2019

But nice try.

Guess what, I've had many women bosses that were the total opposite, kind and caring and smart and organized, but I didn't come in here and say that all women would make great bosses like you claim no women are going to be your allies. That is full fledged vilification.

If you can't see the difference or find a way to look at the bigger picture, that is on you, not all women.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
206. My apologies. I was following the thread of conversation, and not the poster.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 03:43 PM
Feb 2019

I think I made my position clear: "Certainly, we should walk into new jobs with an open mind and hope for the best. But if someone has a woman manager who is quite the opposite of a mentor, they have my sympathy."

That is practical and realistic.

demmiblue

(37,311 posts)
142. "Yes, to think that women are going to be our allies out here, is a fantasy."
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:30 PM
Feb 2019

That is some fucked up shit.

demmiblue

(37,311 posts)
147. Most humans can see beyond their personal experiences in order to understand the broader picture.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:41 PM
Feb 2019

It's not like you live in a bubble. Like I said, fucked up.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
149. I don't think you would apply that as a "universal truth", would you?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:48 PM
Feb 2019

What abusive situations do you expect us to "get over." Just the ones that you can't relate to?

And, in case you weren't following, just because I can sympathize with other women who feel they have been wronged by women in management positions doesn't mean I wouldn't support women for higher office. The two are unrelated in my book.

Baitball Blogger

(47,262 posts)
151. Let's get specific.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:56 PM
Feb 2019

The topic is women in management positions. You seem to see it all one way. And I'm here to say that the expectation that female managers are going to turn into kindred spirits just because they're women, is a fantasy. Certainly, we should walk into new jobs with an open mind and hope for the best. But if someone has a woman manager who is quite the opposite of a mentor, they have my sympathy.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
135. I said that MAY have been a reason
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:04 PM
Feb 2019

because I was smarter than them...I knew how to spell jealous !! No, we did not compare #s....this is getting a little foolish, is it not? Move on...you don't like my post...that is fine...

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
145. An IQ of 177 and you say you're "smarter than *them*"?
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:34 PM
Feb 2019

Correct grammar is "smarter than they." I know, picky, picky, but geniuses are going to be held to higher standards. And who brags about his or her IQ? Even Stephen Hawking didn't do that. There's an old saying to the effect that if you've really got it you don't have to brag about it.

Response to lunamagica (Reply #162)

obamanut2012

(26,650 posts)
174. "I will bet you are a WOMAN"
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 08:14 PM
Feb 2019

This OP and thread are performance art, right? It has to be. If it isn't.... oh boy.

Phentex

(16,346 posts)
207. I, too, wondered how many people get tested...
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 04:13 PM
Feb 2019

and know this. It seems to get thrown around on the internet a lot.

And then the next question is why they feel the need to tell people. It's sorta Trumpian to have to TELL people you are smart.

lunamagica

(9,967 posts)
213. It's totally trumpian. Also James Woods and Sharon Stone love to brag about their high IQs, but what
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 05:23 PM
Feb 2019

have they accomplished with them?

OTOH, you have people like Heidi Lamarr. I don't think anyone knows her IQ, and she never mentioned it. But we know she was brilliant, with a genius-level mind. Her legacy speaks for itself.

brush

(55,317 posts)
139. FWIW, I'm male and have had good and bad women bosses.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:19 PM
Feb 2019

Don't know if that adds anything to the conversation from a woman's perspective.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
148. brush, I got a strong feeling that most
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:46 PM
Feb 2019

the commenters here who despise my post are women...I just find that so sad...we were taught to judge folks by their words and deeds, not their gender...I opened up my work history to DU and got smacked down by WOMEN for being honest...as if I am a traitor to my vagina. And a traitor to DEM candidates. Kind of nuts...

MrsCoffee

(5,803 posts)
178. Just wow.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 10:12 AM
Feb 2019

Its hard not to connect the OP to the news about Klobuchar. It was highly anectodal and appeared to be intended to lend some credence to her accusers. If it wasn’t, then I am completely and utterly clueless as to why you posted this out of the blue.

There are shitty bosses of all genders and colors. Can you imagine coming in and complaining about all of your black or latino bosses with a rash of ridiculous stereotypical insults?

Why would you expect women to shower you with rose petals for this OP?

MicaelS

(8,747 posts)
141. I'm a man and I worked 19 years at my last company.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:28 PM
Feb 2019

I had 5 female bosses over those years. All five were great to me, and taught me a lot. But the last one was hated by almost every woman that worked under her. This was due to the fact that she was very strict and would not tolerate any nonsense.

We had up to 200 people working there, and there was more trouble with non-supervisory women being hateful toward one another, than any problem of men vs. women.

happybird

(4,882 posts)
146. A mixed bag of bad bosses
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 03:38 PM
Feb 2019

My worst boss was a man and a fucking pig. He kept propositioning me and making lewd comments. His wife worked in the shop and his kids helped out on the weekends. It was horrifying. I was in my early 20's and hadn't yet learned to stand up for myself. I did the "mannerly" thing I had been taught and simply laughed and moved far away from him or changed subjects. Sigh. When I quit, the female manager's face fell and she said, "Oh, shit. Has Bruce been saying stuff to you?" Apparently they couldn't keep anyone in that position and he would only hire young women for it.

The manager was a tough biker chick in her 40's, so the pig left her alone. She offered to talk to him and tell him to cut it out, but I just wanted to cut my losses and get the heck out of there.

At least it was a life lesson. I never let anyone get away with that kind of bs again.

I've had one awesome female boss and two horrible ones. One was promoted while I worked there. She was fine before the promotion. I think she wanted to be great in her new position, to prove herself to her superiors, to be seen as super confident and commanding. To be viewed "as competent and boss-like as any man could be." Unfortunately, she thought the way to do that was to be a total, raging bitch. She also tried to get employees to gossip about each other and backstab. Ugh.

The second one just wasn't boss material. The alcoholism was probably why. Sooo much drama.

I've had several bad male bosses. I think it's usually one of three things: either they hate their job and will make everyone else as miserable as they are, or they are an example of the Peter Principle, or they are just a shite human being.
Some are a combo, or even all three. Yay.


still_one

(93,910 posts)
155. anecdotal evidence is meaningless. I have had a varied career of over 30 years from Chemist in the
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:10 PM
Feb 2019

wine industry, clinical chemist in the medical field, to software engineer, and in my experience my managers, whether male or female, some were good and some weren't as good, and it had NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER.

Making sterotypical conclusions based on anecdotal evidence that female mangers have a tendency to be "petty" while male mangers do not, is bullshit, and to boot, it is perpetuating the sexist myth.

I don't care whether that assertion comes from a male or female, it is still a sexist statement. It is the kind of garbage that was perpetuated by some against Hillary in 2016

enough is enough already. THIS IS 2019.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(117,716 posts)
157. Now I'm reminiscing about some 40 years of bosses, bad and good.
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:27 PM
Feb 2019

Most of my bosses were men, partly because of the times and partly because I mostly worked in male-dominated industries. I had some really bad bosses and some really good ones. The first terrible boss was a guy who promised me a week of vacation when I was hired as a clerical worker, then after I took the time off he told me it wouldn't be paid vacation. When I complained he said my inability to pay my rent wasn't his problem. I made it his problem by threatening to go to small claims court, so he paid me - and then I quit. Another was a sexist creep who made a frequent point of saying the grossest things he could think of to female employees, just to see if he could get a reaction. One of the best bosses I ever had was a judge; he was kind, funny and encouraging. Another male boss served as a mentor for many years.

After switching to another career I had a female boss who was very kind and helpful, followed by another one who was nice enough but wasn't a very effective manager because she was disorganized. After switching jobs again I got a male boss who wasn't a bad guy but he was a terrible manager. He'd give you instructions to do something, then claim he didn't mean for you to do that thing but that you should have done this other thing that he meant for you to do but didn't tell you about. He did that all the time and drove people nuts. After a department reorganization that resulted in his not being the manager anymore, he was much nicer and easier to deal with. He was followed by a female manager whom I liked and found easy to work with. Then there was a merger, and the acquiring company sent their people to take over our department and they were mostly assholes. Our new boss wouldn't have anything to do with people who weren't in management, to the point where he wouldn't even sit at the same cafeteria table with us peons - even though our old management wasn't heirarchical at all and everybody hobnobbed with everybody else. He even told other managers that they shouldn't be associating at all with non-management employees. He was a major douche - snappish, rude, and condescending. And then I retired. No more bosses.

There are so many bad boss stories out there that I've come to the conclusion that good ones are hard to find, and that the fact that you're good at the technical thing that your employer does, doesn't mean you're going to be good at managing other people to do that thing. I was considered for a management position with my last employer (before the merger) but I withdrew from consideration after realizing I'd probably suck at it.

Duppers

(28,177 posts)
158. My mother was one of those southern...
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 04:59 PM
Feb 2019

snide, snotty, misogynistic women who was jealous of any woman prettier than she was including her own daughter. Thanks goodness her only female employee was a much older 2nd cousin.

I often heard her say of a woman "who didn't know her place," "who does she think she is?" And "that's not a job a woman should have," etc. She and I bumped heads at every turn.

jcgoldie

(11,698 posts)
160. "Nothing sexist?"
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 05:26 PM
Feb 2019

I'm pretty sure initiating this thread about how terrible and petty all of your female bosses were and juxtaposing that with "my men bosses were all about the work" is the definition of sexism.

 

jodymarie aimee

(3,975 posts)
164. then you would be wrong
Sun Feb 24, 2019, 06:56 PM
Feb 2019

I judge a person by words and deeds, not their gender....and p.s. I don't vote with my vagina.

Response to obamanut2012 (Reply #170)

irisblue

(33,195 posts)
180. Jody why are you using that phrase?
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 10:36 AM
Feb 2019

". so you are saying you DO vote with your vagina

and will mock those that don't..you seem smart"

 

RhodeIslandOne

(5,042 posts)
188. My current boss is a woman
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 01:26 PM
Feb 2019

She's wonderful. Pays for office parties out of own pocket, bends over backwards to cover for you when you need a day off.

My one female superior who was awful made judgements about people after short meetings.

LiberalFighter

(52,679 posts)
195. I don't think I have had any really shitty bosses. Male or female.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 02:12 PM
Feb 2019

As a kid had a husband and wife in a restaurant. Both about the same.
In high school and college did the cafeteria bit. Nothing to remember.
During summer in college did work for several summers prepping for 4-H Fair. Good job.

The rest of the time I had many foremens, mostly men while working in a factory. Had one tiff with a female foreman but we got over it. Otherwise, we all did our job. Had other minor tiffs with male foremens. But again got over it. I did have two foremens at the same time in job because I had two areas that I covered. I took advantage of it when needed. If I couldn't get something that was needed from one foreman then I got it from the other foreman.

Work environment probably different when it involves office work.

NewJeffCT

(56,832 posts)
200. I'm in my 50s
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 02:57 PM
Feb 2019

and I've had good and bad bosses of both sexes.

I'd say the best boss I've had was a guy and the worst also (he started off as a big time micro-manager, then somebody must have mentioned it to him because he suddenly became almost a ghost - you'd never see the guy except if it was a last minute crisis)

I'd say in my current company that I've been with for 4 years I've had 3 bosses - 2 women that were good (one very good) and one guy that was so-so. The very good boss wasn't my boss long enough to be rated my best boss ever (she's deservedly very well liked in the company and was quickly promoted over to another department - very smart, but also personable and funny)

I'd say that in general, I've had more good bosses that were women than men, or at least a higher percentage of good bosses.

The best action I've ever had a boss do was from a woman that was my boss about 25 years ago. I was in a large company that was struggling financially at the time and the woman that was my boss at the time said I had done a great job the past year (I was almost expecting to be laid off because of the company struggles) and that I really deserved a raise, but she could not give me one. However, since she had been with the company for a long time and had accumulated a lot of vacation time, she had gotten approval from senior management to donate a week of her vacation time to me. I thought that was really cool giving a young person with potential an extra week of vacation time.

CrispyQ

(37,056 posts)
203. 61 year old woman here & I have always preferred to work with & for women.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 03:03 PM
Feb 2019

Oh look. An advocate for women one might not have expected.

'Shark Tank' investor Kevin O'Leary has a theory about why companies run by women make him the most money

https://www.businessinsider.com/kevin-oleary-shark-tank-women-run-companies-2017-7

O'Leary is adamant that he's not out to start "gender warfare" — "I would give money to a goat if I get a good return," he's said repeatedly — but his conclusion is, he told the audience at GrowCo, "the outcomes have been very, very good on these women-run businesses because they know what they're doing with time, and goal-setting, and these things matter in micro-communities where culture is a big deal."

lillypaddle

(9,593 posts)
214. Most "bosses," i.e., managers
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 06:17 PM
Feb 2019

are really terrible at managing people. BOTH men and women managers. To pin this label primarily on women is stereotyping at its worst.

I'm 71 and retired, but I was in management for 40 years. This included real estate agencies, accounting firms, and a family planning agency where I served as executive director for a number of years. I certainly didn't suffer fools well, but I guarantee you that a female employee's being attractive had nothing to do with how she was treated.

Your experience is yours, but substitute the word "female" with "black" and see what YOU think about how your OP reads.

Cool story, though.

obamanut2012

(26,650 posts)
217. Most of my black bosses were horrid
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 06:46 PM
Feb 2019

Black person here..long and varied work history. I have been an optician, Manager of a health spa, USDA, Corp Ins Offices, beautician, nurse in ICU..I even interviewed at a massage parlour...worked ONE day there...I have done it all !!

Most of my black bosses were horrid...jealous, all manner of crazy..used to make fun of me for exercising in the 1970s..exercising....at the USDA the other black people mocked my ONE brilliant black boss a Chicago attny, because he wore white pants...my white bosses were all about the work...no pettiness...

I also had another black boss and every morning on the way to work I would pray "Lord please don't let Rosemary be nasty to me today" how pathetic was that...I finally walked out one day..no notice no nothing...My Mom said Jody, Rosemary is jealous of other black people...I waved that off...but now that I am older, I WAS the same age, 177 IQ and I was very pretty...so maybe Mom had something...I am a testament that black bosses can be really shitty to other black people, regardless of the caliber/quality of your work performance. Again, I am 67. My history may differ from a 19 year old or a 40 year old.

And there is nothing mean or catty or racist in telling this truth....if you think one of your black bosses is a bully, you might want to warn others...not with TMZ, but a reputable publication.

**************************************

HOW THE HELL IS WHAT I CHANGED WOMEN TO ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE OP??? why is this OP allowed to stand???

Eliot Rosewater

(31,586 posts)
219. Amazing isnt it.
Mon Feb 25, 2019, 08:26 PM
Feb 2019

Why dont we just fucking HAND the election over to the GOP now and not waste all this fucking energy if we are

GOING

TO DO

THEIR WORK

FOR THEM

FOR THEM

FOR THEM

Pachamama

(16,924 posts)
227. I have had both Male and Female bosses - both bad and good bosses....Whether they were good or bad
Tue Feb 26, 2019, 01:05 AM
Feb 2019

....had nothing to do with their gender....the bad ones were just assholes and shitty bosses...

 

Tipperary

(6,930 posts)
229. "Long and varied work history." Not what most employers consider a good work record.
Tue Feb 26, 2019, 03:07 AM
Feb 2019

So a string of mostly entry-level type work. With an IQ of 177, you were unable to score a scholarship to a top school? Unable to find work that did not involve you always having to be at the mercy of “horrible” bosses?

How curious.

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