General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMollie Tibbetts family weighs in.....powerful!
Last edited Sat Aug 25, 2018, 07:20 PM - Edit history (3)
No.
No, no and no.
Especially for those of you who did not know her in life, you do not get to usurp Mollie and her legacy for your racist, false narrative now that she is no longer with us. We hereby reclaim our Mollie.
Mollie was a young, intelligent, caring woman with a ready smile and a compassionate heart. So many across the state of Iowa and the entire country embraced her, and us, as we all searched and hoped for her safe return. It was not to be. Mollie was killed, and a man has been arrested and charged with her murder. Yes, that man is an immigrant to this country, with uncertainty as to his legal status. But it matters not. He could have been a citizen, born in this country; he could have been an older, white man from anywhere; he could have been a man from Mollies world. He is a man, whose path in life crossed that of Mollies life, with tragic results. He is a man who felt entitled to impose himself on Mollies life, without consequence. He is a man who, because of his sense of male entitlement, refused to allow Mollie the right to reject his advances the right to her own autonomy. Mollie was murdered because a man denied her right to say no.
Our national discussion needs to be about the violence committed in our society, mostly by men, as seen by these grim statistics from the FBI:
89.5% of murders are committed by men.
98.9% of forcible rapes are committed by men.
80% of violence against families and children is committed by men.
85% of intimate partner violence is committed by men.
We must be willing to address the way we raise our boys and young men, so that violence is not a part of their response to this world. Like the recent murders of the Colorado family or the similarly tragic homicide of Kate Steinle, Mollies death is further example of the toxic masculinity that exists in our society.
Mollies murder is truly tragic and horrifically painful for all of us who knew and loved her, the extinguishing of a treasured spirit much too soon. It is not your right to exacerbate this grievous act by hijacking Mollie and all she believed with your racist fear-mongering. You do not get to use her murder to inaccurately promote your permanently separated hyperbole. You do not have permission to callously use this tragedy to demonize an entire population for the acts of one man.
No. We reclaim our Mollie.
**Written by Mollie Tibbetts' mother, Sandi Tibbetts Murphy, and posted on Facebook yesterday.
https://www.facebook.com/1583523803/posts/10214879319368195/
https://www.facebook.com/100013284091496/posts/524382918014507/
Crutchez_CuiBono
(7,725 posts)Sorry mr and mrs tibbits for losing such a nice kid. Life has changed irrevocably.
NickPeace
(82 posts)My heart goes out to her family. 😔
calimary
(81,323 posts)The statistics are so jarring. Numbers don't lie. As opposed to those who refused to face facts, because they'd rather lie to themselves.
NickPeace
(82 posts)😊
ProudMNDemocrat
(16,786 posts)And those who use this for political points.
This grieving mother should issue a Cease and Desist letter as well to prevent Republicans from using this in an ad or for their own political means.
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)they be shamed...or now turn the evil on the mother?
Fox is....beyond evil...why do they still exist? Like the National Inquirer, the very dangerous product of no hate speech laws.
2naSalit
(86,650 posts)olegramps
(8,200 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)K and r.
CatMor
(6,212 posts)it would be great if the news channels would read this on air.
tblue37
(65,409 posts)CatMor
(6,212 posts)2naSalit
(86,650 posts)CatMor
(6,212 posts)Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)90-percent
(6,829 posts)Hell, write to Shepard Smith, Neil Cavuto and sometimes Geraldo even. The worm is turning for these guys and they occasionally show outbursts of COURAGEOUS JOURNALISM. Which I would think is grounds for dismissal at Fox News?
I hope Mueller eventually has enough on Hannity to stew him in his own juices.
-90% Jimmy
Pachamama
(16,887 posts)This is it.
Exactly what she said about what the real issue is of violence in our society and the root cause.
Ironically exactly the violence and hatred and über-masculinity that permeates our society and led by the racist angry ilk of people like Trump himself.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)This is not about race. It is about gender and the fact that some men feel entitled to end a woman's life when she does not give in to his demands.
underpants
(182,834 posts)Is there a link?
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)underpants
(182,834 posts)Kick
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)Skidmore
(37,364 posts)Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)pazzyanne
(6,556 posts)tblue37
(65,409 posts)Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)is devastating enough, but to have to take time out from grieving to try to set racist people straight - well THAT is beyond tragic. What has happened to this country that people have lost their humanity?
Achilleaze
(15,543 posts)They are happy to piss on Mollie's grave if it will help them hold on to their illegitimate power.
* aka republican Draft-Dodger-in-Chief
C_U_L8R
(45,003 posts)It is so horrible how they exploit victims and twist the truth for their own political self-interest. Shame on you.
irisblue
(32,982 posts)To be able to write this in the depths of grief.
OhioBlue
(5,126 posts)so intelligent, courageous and selfless while suffering such a soul-wrenching, tragic loss.
MaryMagdaline
(6,855 posts)How they can step back from grief to shut this hatred down is just remarkable.
Response to Heartstrings (Original post)
Name removed Message auto-removed
DesertRat
(27,995 posts)Response to DesertRat (Reply #21)
Name removed Message auto-removed
ismnotwasm
(41,992 posts)Response to ismnotwasm (Reply #24)
Name removed Message auto-removed
WePurrsevere
(24,259 posts)Sandi Tibbets Murphy's, Facebook page and is being reported on by legit news sources...
https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=524382918014507&id=100013284091496
maxrandb
(15,334 posts)or her family.
He's just disappointed that he and the Retrumplicans can't stand on her grave.
Buck up Frank. Lots of murder in America, maybe your boys will luck out and find another Benghazi family to exploit... looks like you missed out on this one. They're too human for your tastes.
WePurrsevere
(24,259 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Enjoy your stay.
BannonsLiver
(16,397 posts)ismnotwasm
(41,992 posts)NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)I wouldn't be surprised to see a rage tweet about her.
world wide wally
(21,744 posts)samnsara
(17,623 posts)..and we need to start a dialog about this.
catrose
(5,068 posts)KT2000
(20,584 posts)It's time for this to become part of the national discussion. For too long we have tip-toed around what precedes the rapes and murders - murders of men and women by men. It has to change.
honest.abe
(8,678 posts)catrose
(5,068 posts)That she has to mourn her daughter, arrange her daughter's funeral, and fight the trumpeteers for her daughter's legacy.
malthaussen
(17,204 posts)That is some powerful stuff. And it identifies the core problem forcefully. Now, if only some people would listen.
-- Mal
Response to Heartstrings (Original post)
ehrnst This message was self-deleted by its author.
sheshe2
(83,793 posts)Sleep in Peace Mollie
Ferrets are Cool
(21,107 posts)msdogi
(430 posts)Like Sandi Tibbetts will make a big difference in the lives of our future generations. Just tragic that she had to speak these words, but she had the strength and moral certainty to write them. My heart goes out the the whole community that lost a very bright young light to the evils of male entitlement. And yes, we are all part of that community.
Hamlette
(15,412 posts)google says her mother is Laura Caulderwood and an Iowa paper that reprinted this said it was from one of Mollie's relatives. So I don't think it is from her mother.
It is very powerful none the less.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)TomVilmer
(1,832 posts)For newer ones, see here:
https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/ipv9310.pdf
spooky3
(34,460 posts)and most of it focuses on the gender of the victims only (not the perpetrators, which is the primary focus of Mollie's mother's comments).
TomVilmer
(1,832 posts)... this number: "85% of intimate partner violence is committed by men". That number is more than twenty years old, and also outdated by better research now. Such "numbers" should generally be avoided, since they pretend a precision which simply is not there.
Generally minor intimate partner violence is quite equally shared and done. And yes, men is on top of the statistics about more severe violence. I could do similar research to show how all the other numbers are missing their mark, but you are welcome to google them yourself, since the post are missing any kind of sourcing.
She is herself hijacking the murder with confusing numbers, which disrupts her good message.
spooky3
(34,460 posts)is that the numbers in the report you cited, do not update the numbers in the Facebook post cited in the OP. Apples and oranges... I invite you to do a better google search, since you are the one who does not like the numbers in the OP.
sarge43
(28,941 posts)The man arrested may not be Mollie's murderer. He would not the first to be accused for being the wrong gender, wrong color, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,741 posts)Of course sometimes there can be false confessions but I hadn't heard there was some doubt they'd got the right guy.
sarge43
(28,941 posts)spooky3
(34,460 posts)located him, he led them to the body.
mcar
(42,334 posts)Blessings on Sandi Tibbetts Murphy for this powerful statement. She and her family should be able to mourn in peace.
Snellius
(6,881 posts)Caught grave robbing for political gain. Now their online headline is a story sympathetic to an Hispanic mother and child killed in a car accident. By who appears to be Hispanic also, of course. Always an angle with Fox.
ooky
(8,924 posts)for their campaign of Trumpian fueled hatred. Good for her. Hopefully, more families will follow the writer's lead as they see Fox pulling this stunt during their times of grief. That Fox online rag should be shut down. Its not journalism and does not deserve the journalistic protections of our constitution. Instead, it publishes some of the most hateful and disgusting propaganda I've ever seen. Virtually every "story" is designed to incite hate. Its a stomach turning website.
Snellius
(6,881 posts)Even Geraldo was throwing shade. Even Cavuto, on his last legs. I follow right press pretty closely and I'm convinced Fox was tipped off by the police video weeks before the perp was IDed. EVERY story, at least online, has a racial/Trump slant. These were Drudge's old tricks and oddly he hasn't been using them as much. Even as diversionary cover, Drudge loves a good scandal even more.
George II
(67,782 posts)oswaldactedalone
(3,491 posts)to a tragedy, I fear for the writer's safety.
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)Martin Eden
(12,871 posts)Exactly what needed to be said.
Martin Eden
(12,871 posts)I'd like to share this but need a different source.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)pazzyanne
(6,556 posts)StevieM
(10,500 posts)Power 2 the People
(2,437 posts)RIP Mollie.
Tucker08087
(621 posts)with three sets of parents who have lost their children suddenly and tragically. I have heard the primal screams of a mother who is told that her child is gone. I have been in a prayer circle while a father, just after his sons death, asked us to hold hands and pray for his young sons swift passage. I have seen massive grief and hysteria, and a powerful strength that can only come from the need of parents to do what they can to make final arrangements as perfect as they had hoped to make a wedding. I have seen the aftermath, the years of aching and longing, and I have asked myself if I, myself, could endure. Honestly, I dont think I could.
To have to deal with a national crisis at the same time is too much to ask of Mollies parents. The fact that she responded is, in itself, amazing. That she so eloquently answered simply brings me to sobbing tears. Ive seen the pain, but I can only empathize. I know that it is a pain the breaks the strongest of us. Mollies mom is beyond the end of her rope. She is gasping for air and she needs to be allowed to come to shore, to lie sobbing in grief and then try to somehow rebuild her life. Instead, she is forced to continue with her Mama Bear instincts and protect her child. I am both horrified and in awe at the same time. I wish strength to endure and eventual peace to Millies family.
Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)amuse bouche
(3,657 posts)SunSeeker
(51,574 posts)With a mom like that, Mollie must have been amazing.
It is so appropriate to point the finger at toxic male masculinity. Immigrants don't cause more crimes, but those numbers show men sure do. It is about time we addressed the elephant in the room: male violence.
pazzyanne
(6,556 posts)He believes that her death belongs to everyone to say what they want. After all the girl is dead. I posted the editorial from her hometown paper, but apparently he has more of aright to use this girl's death anyway he sees fit and her parents and family's wishes don't count. Disgusting!
IcyPeas
(21,893 posts)pazzyanne
(6,556 posts)question everything
(47,487 posts)LisaM
(27,813 posts)What a woman, what a voice.
Drunken Irishman
(34,857 posts)I may be wrong, though.
ehrnst
(32,640 posts)Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)I changed the header of the op to reflect "family" not "mother" as there seems to be some debate on the author.
I just checked Facebook and it has been removed....
Freedom of speech......pffffft!
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)MadDAsHell
(2,067 posts)Last edited Sun Aug 26, 2018, 07:05 PM - Edit history (2)
Might want to correct that in the OP.
Also, its kind of a strange post. She says we need a national discussion regarding the toxic masculinity were instilling in our boys and young men, but the accused wasnt even one of those boys or young men raised in this culture. Sounds like his entire childhood was outside the USA, and he still killed.
Toxic masculinity goes far wider than the USA.