Ivanka Trump Named Dean of Business School at Trump University

[Zorro]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “an exciting new chapter in my amazing life,” Ivanka Trump has been named dean of the business school at the newly reconstituted Trump University.

“I’ve been incredibly blessed with stratospheric success as a businessperson,” Dean Trump said on Wednesday. “This is my chance to give something back, for only fifty thousand dollars in tuition and other fees.”

Trump said that students enrolling at the Trump University School of Business can look forward to gleaning wisdom not only from her but from another star faculty member, Jared Kushner. “When it comes to business, Jared has been almost as incredible I have,” she said.

In online promotional materials for the school, Dean Trump promises “an unforgettable educational experience” for “students who want to learn business the Ivanka way.” “Many people take years to get a business off the ground,” Dean Trump writes. “At the Trump University School of Business, I’ll show you how to open a business and close it down in four years flat.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ivanka-trump-named-dean-of-business-school-at-trump-university

[htuttle]

1. I was completely certain that this was real when I saw the title

[malaise]

2. ROFL

[comradebillyboy]

3. Iwonder how often Ivanka has to wax her upper lip.

[Takket]

4. wish this was true

i'd rather see these scumfucks running a fraud college than living high off the hog at the taxpayer expense and destroying the country

[dameatball]

5. Instead of a diploma you get a blank undated pardon

[Freethinker65]

6. Hahaha

[Submariner]

7. Borowitz deserves an award from his media peers for helping the general public

maintain some semblance of sanity with his humor.

[Solly Mack]

8. hehehehe