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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTips to Look After Your Husband (1950s)
I will preface this by adding that - mr pete laughed his head off when I showed THIS to him:?w=600&h=719
samnsara
(17,702 posts)...I HATE housewifery. Hubby baked something the other day and he turned the oven light on.. I had to call him up to figure out how to turn the darned oven light off.
Im actually proud of that fact!
tblue37
(65,682 posts)leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)My stove is 20 year's old and the oven is pristeen. I did use the burners to heat water but the mice ate the insulation and now
I am afraid to turn it on. The mice are gone now.
I think I will just buy an electric teapot to heat water.
Hekate
(91,433 posts)tblue37
(65,682 posts)B2G
(9,766 posts)I can't imagine not using the oven.
malaise
(270,019 posts)but not for any of the reasons in that crap piece.
northoftheborder
(7,579 posts)Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)Give them an occasional kiss on the cheek and give them a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas.
(I saw that in an old ad somewhere)
Talk about barf-worthy!
brewens
(13,807 posts)above, I allow her to enjoy herself sometimes. It's only fair.
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)actually followed this drivel??? And that it was actually published somewhere?
Must be for a religious cult!
enough
(13,297 posts)when I was growing up. We heard this stuff all the time in Home Economics classes at public school. (Of course the boys didnt have to take those classes, required for girls all the way through high school.)
Things have actually gotten a lot better in many ways.
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)I'm 61 ..... and yes we did have to take Home Ec in school, boys had to take shop.
I don't ever remember having to learn anything about "how to take care of a man," though. Thank goodness!
I sucked at sewing .... took me the whole 9 weeks to make my apron ..... to this day I hate to even sew a hem or a button on something.
Madam Mossfern
(2,340 posts)Im not particularly fond of sewing either.
Sewing machines scare me.
Rhiannon12866
(208,465 posts)The cooking part was a bust since we only had time to make cookies or candy. But I really liked the sewing part, we made a reversable kerchief, a beach bag and worked up to a dress. The other girls just made a shift, but mine had long sleeves and pockets! I made a lot of my own clothes after that and it didn't hurt that mother sewed too.
But I think that boys could sure could have benefited by those classes, too - especially cooking! And I would have given anything to have learned more about cars at a young age. I've often thought of finding a class even now - these are things that all kids could benefit from, it made no sense to teach only one gender...
treestar
(82,383 posts)The next year, 9th grade, they opened up the classes to the opposite sexes. There was a girl or 2 who took shop and some boys who took home ec. One boy asked to leave algebra to take his cookies out of the oven! This was in the mid-1970s.
Rhiannon12866
(208,465 posts)It was only a couple of times a week. And I was in junior high in the mid/late '60s, so it was still only girls in home ec back then - though times were definitely changing.
I'm not even sure what the boys took in shop, but I really wanted to know more about cars. Everyone drives so I have no idea why they thought they had to discriminate, and it's the same for cooking - everyone eats too!
And kudos to your friend who left algebra! I only wish I had had that excuse!
RandomAccess
(5,210 posts)in the 60s -- esp. the late 60s -- things were starting to get better. MANY changes for women started happening in the 60s -- President Kennedy had a Women's Commission and that started the ball rolling in some ways.
Women were included in the Equal Employment legislation -- originally as a joke, but actually it was intended as a poison pill.
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission was founded in 1965 actually had teeth that made discrimination in employment actionable.
And N.O.W. was founded in 1968, I think. I didn't catch the wave until 6 or 8 years later. I was one of those poor uninformed fools who would say, "I'm not a feminist BUT ... but I believe in equal pay for equal work," and other such obviously right things women were asking for and demanding. (I finally got a chance to really find out what the Women's Movement was all about and realized I'd ALWAYS been a feminist.)
But I can assure you that this was the model of womanhood we were presented with prior to all this dramatic and revolutionary social change. Teen magazines were filled with it too -- how you had to let your date pick the movie all the time or whatever else you'd do on a date, let him do all the talking, ask him about his interests, etc. You were there just to reflect his glory in his eyes.
samnsara
(17,702 posts)leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)little flowers. I git an A on it but I don't think I ever used it for cooking. It was too pretty.
Remember those really frilly aprons for special occasions?
Remember thise pointy bras filled with foam rubber. And the foam rubber would get hard and turn yellow and break off into hard littl
e pieces? What a hoot.
highplainsdem
(49,279 posts)As even the most casual of Mad Men viewers (seasons 1-4) can tell you, the early 1960s was not a lovely time to be a woman. The Don Drapers of the world were only too happy to serve up offensive comments, cloaked in a light layer of English Leather and shined to a high-gloss finish with a heaping dollop of Brylcreem.
And, in one very eyebrow-raising example, sung to a swingin beat perfect for your next John Cheever-esque cocktail party, I introduce you to Jack Jones Wives & Lovers. Its a serious little ditty that tells you in no unclear terms that if you have the audacity to wear curlers around your husband, dont be surprised if that husband leaves you.
Some other thoughts:
- You know you have a one-way express ticket to Offensive Town when a love song starts out with: Hey, little girl...
-snip-
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)was Paul Anka singing about "You're Having My Baby".
sl8
(14,400 posts)I think that HuffPo article gives too much credit to Jack Jones and not enugh to Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wives_and_Lovers
samnsara
(17,702 posts)He hit me... and it felt like a Kiss...
rainin
(3,013 posts)Bluepinky
(2,279 posts)as a way to spice up their sex life.
eleny
(46,166 posts)I recall when she suggested that.
Arkansas Granny
(31,563 posts)and numerous other tv shows. Women's magazines often carried articles with similar advice. Few married women worked outside the home and career women in that era fought discrimination that is against the law now.
When I graduated high school in the 60's, the only opportunities for women in the military were either nursing or secretarial positions.
That's why it disturbs me that young women take a lot of the rights they enjoy for granted. They don't seem to be aware of what their predecessors went through to attain those rights.
Sorry if this sounds like a lecture.
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)I agree 100%. And any woman who would vote for the Dump is guilty, too.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)You could be a nurse, a secretary, a teacher, a retail clerk, a librarian.
That was a lot better than the 1500's when your choices were to die in childbirth or be a nun.
Madam Mossfern
(2,340 posts)I wanted to be a set designer, but I was told that I couldn't because the union you needed to belong to in order to design sets professionally was closed to women. I just said 'screw it' and became a figure painter. Back then women went to college to get their 'MRS degree.' There were so many other options that I didn't even know existed that weren't presented to me because of my gender.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)I was turned down for grad school. I had all the requirements.
The guys didn't want women in the field because they liked to work in their skivvies and could not do that with women around.
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)printed a whole article full of stories by women who were told they weren't allowed to become this or work doing that because of their gender. Reading them just made me want to cry. One of the more heartbreaking ones was from a woman who, as a little girl, raised her hand enthusiastically when the teacher in elementary school asked for volunteers to raise the flag that day. She was reprimanded and told "Raising the flag is only for boys!"
I don't know why that one sticks out in my mind.
renate
(13,776 posts)Wow, I knew things used to totally suck, but "raising the flag is only for boys"?
Ilsa
(61,727 posts)So much has changed for the better for women compared to just 50 years ago. Yes, there is still more work to be done, but women before me and in my generation have fought hard for change.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,417 posts)You were supposed to get married, have kids, and take care of your husband, which at a minimum meant having dinner ready and the house cleaned up and making sure the kids didn't bother him. My mother did some of those those things, although she was never as subservient as the article in the OP recommended. However, she always had dinner ready when my dad got home from work and she made sure we behaved ourselves because "Daddy's had a hard day at work and he doesn't want you kids to bother him."
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)But her reason was because, if dinner wasn't ready, he'd start drinking, instead, and then the crazy behavior would start. And I remember those times, too.
Yupster
(14,308 posts)Get him a beer.
subterranean
(3,428 posts)pangaia
(24,324 posts)barbtries
(28,857 posts)think about Kelly waxing nostalgic about the days when women were "honored" - yeah right.
girls were girls and men were men.
that so many people still haven't figured out that we're all people drives me apeshit.
Glamrock
(11,807 posts)A) My wife is not my servant. She's my best friend.
B) I'm not this shallow, self centered, or fucking fragile! Gimme a break man! Men in the 50's must have been tiny if they expected to be treated like this.
CountAllVotes
(20,896 posts)He used to say, "A woman can be ugly as sin, I don't care. If she cannot cook, to hell w/her!".
My late mother did not enjoy cooking. The last cake she baked (package mix) had the spoon inside of it as she dropped it it seemed.
That said, I do know of some of these types of "wives". A sick/sad lot I always thought. My friend in school's mother was the AVON Lady. She used to go door to door spreading gossip mostly. Fun times NOT indeed!
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)Ours was like that, too! A nosy old biddy.
When she rang the doorbell, my mom used to take us and hide till she went away!
CountAllVotes
(20,896 posts)She wore a wig. My mother used to say, "Oh sh*t! There she is with that ugly damned wig flopping around!".
My mother never minced words, never.
AVON CALLLING!!!!!
Mother couldn't stand them. As for my father, he had one thing he used to say abt. pukes and that was, "Never knew one that had a god damned thing!". Lots of cursing in the household growing up had you not guessed!
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)Glamrock
(11,807 posts)And I love your vinyl posts mama! Damn, but you got good taste!
Ohiogal
(32,400 posts)Glamrock
(11,807 posts)Do you act as a library? Cause I've got a vinyl to mp3 turntable.....
MustLoveBeagles
(11,755 posts)Fortunately my husband has been well trained to not expect any of the above! We're still together 30 years later!
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Gag! I never would have made it in the 50's without being seriously medicated.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Also known as uppers or downers. Many wives were given medication to get thru their days of this life, and worse yet, they thought they were the problem.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)In my opinion, the women who used drugs to escape this reality were the sane ones. Unfortunately, it did many of them in. They were in a lose/lose situation.
sl8
(14,400 posts)"... and a little more interesting."
Sounds like a 1950s euphemism for "bi".
Crunchy Frog
(26,747 posts)underpants
(183,391 posts)grantcart
(53,061 posts)left-of-center2012
(34,195 posts)Does my high school friend who stood 5' 3" count?
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,417 posts)For hundreds of years it just meant cheerful and happy.
Cartoonist
(7,342 posts)She was a neighbor of mine. The word was not in fashion when her parents named her. She grew to hate it because sometimes people would ask her, "are you Gay?" just like you would ask someone "are you Susan?"
She didn't appreciate the hilarity that ensued.
sl8
(14,400 posts)crazycatlady
(4,492 posts)I absolutely do not have the intestinal fortitude to try to dress a cat.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)As the wife struggles to keep things together at home.
Shanti Mama
(1,288 posts)suffered through all of this, and never thought to question it. She went to an elite women's college that sent a few of its women into academia and other places of fulfillment and power. Most grads married and raised kids. Those who followed a different drummer rarely married.
This is normalization, folks!
My heart aches for her. No wonder she turned to drink.
dalton99a
(82,056 posts)Divorce, drugs, drinking: Billy Grahams children and their absent father
by William Martin | February 21
After their marriage in August 1943, Ruth caught a chill while returning from their honeymoon. Instead of calling to cancel a routine preaching engagement in Ohio and staying at the bedside of his new bride, Billy checked her into a hospital and kept the appointment, sending her a telegram and a box of candy for consolation. She felt hurt, but soon learned that nothing came before preaching on her husbands list of priorities. ...
In 1945, Graham became a full-time evangelist, a job that had him traveling throughout the United States and Europe. Perhaps sensing the start of a lifelong pattern, and pregnant with their first child, Ruth moved in with her parents in Montreat, N.C., a Presbyterian retirement community. The Bells provided her with companionship to ease the loneliness she felt during her husbands long absences and were there to share important moments when their first child, Virginia (always called Gigi), was born in 1945, Billy was away on a preaching trip.
As Grahams crusades took him throughout the world, little was left for Ruth and the children Gigi, Anne, then Ruth (long called Bunny), Franklin and Ned. Once, when Ruth brought Anne to a crusade and let her surprise her father while he was talking on the telephone, he stared at the toddler with a blank look, not recognizing his own daughter. In a turnabout a few years later, young Franklin greeted his fathers homecoming from a crusade with a puzzled, Who he? ...
If the children commented on their fathers absence, they were told he had gone somewhere to tell the people about Jesus. Gigi remembered that Mother never said, Daddys going away for a month. Instead, she would say, Daddy will be home in a month. Well do such and such before he comes back. She also noted that, particularly when she was younger, I thought everyones daddy was gone. And my granddaddy was such a father figure for us, that it never hit me that it was all that unusual. ...
jalan48
(13,968 posts)Even as a kid I thought that odd.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)There was a wildly popular book out in the 1970's called The Total Woman by Marabel Morgan. It was just chock full of ideas on how to keep your marriage alive. If you really want a good laugh read this book.
My mother would change clothes every day about a half an hour before my dad got home. She always wore a dress. And put makeup on.
Right up to the time my dad died she would always come home at noon to fix his lunch. He couldn't even fix a sandwich.
And people wonder why I never married.
mia
(8,363 posts)One of our local churches had her as a guest speaker way back then. This took place in someone's living room so there were probably not more than 20 women there.
My memory of the plastic wrap idea came from Marabel herself. She suggested that we get naked, sit on top of the refrigerator and wrap ourselves in Saran Wrap to surprise our husbands*. Seriously.
*so that he would notice me before he gets a beer, I wondered.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)Mist 50's men would have propably gone for the beer.
I remember one woman who wrapped herself up in saran wrap and met her husband at the door. He was standing there with his boss. He had invited his boss home for dinner and forgot to tell his wife.
CountAllVotes
(20,896 posts)The Joy of Sex
Wow was that ever a popular book in the early 70's. Too little too late for her I suppose. Sad too!
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)I really don't know exactly what she meant be that and I wasn't about to ask.
CountAllVotes
(20,896 posts)But that was a no-no topic too!
Great fun in those crap be a housewife and shut-up DEAR days not!
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)struggle4progress
(118,471 posts)Lebam in LA
(1,345 posts)hence, 3 ex-husbands
MustLoveBeagles
(11,755 posts)Pathwalker
(6,600 posts)ran out of their houses and into the street, hurling their aprons to the wind, screaming; "Nevermore! Nevermore!"
Shit like this was WHY women's lib came to be.
Afromania
(2,772 posts)MariaCSR
(642 posts)I just posted this on instagram with the caption "can you believe this?" and two people commented with "i agree with this"
smh
FarCenter
(19,429 posts)It did not apply, for example to the 1/6 of women who were farmer's wives.
lunasun
(21,646 posts)In other words this was middle class and above ideals
Some will talk about when women started to work not realizing plenty always were
FarCenter
(19,429 posts)And everybody worked, including the kids when not in school.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)Lucinda
(31,170 posts)We don't do those specific things necessarily, but we both have our little things that we do for each other on a daily basis.
For example, he is both kitchen manager and cook in a super hot restaurant kitchen, so I try and make sure the house is cool when he gets in, even though I may have kept it warmer during the day to keep my achy joints from complaining. We then adjust the temp from there once he cools off. I have health issues and often will be in bed when he gets home, but if I need to lie down, I make sure the lights are on in his office and the living room, and the little furry monsters have been fed and watered so he can relax when he gets home without having to deal with hungry kittehs.
He does a thousand little things for me daily.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)You and I are very fortunate to have it in our lives.
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)sunonmars
(8,656 posts)Married life is like a deck of cards.....
You need a heart to love him...
A diamond to marry him.....
A club to beat him to death with....
and a spade to bury the bastard in the back yard.....
3catwoman3
(24,256 posts)...my dad's father telling her, when they were newlyweds, to keep a good supply of rubbing alcohol on hand so she could give my dad a foot massage when he got home from work. My mom was a nurse. If anyone needed a foot massage at the end of a work day, it would have been her.
And, "offer to take off his shoes?" Hell no! This ain't Downton Abbey.
Runningdawg
(4,533 posts)Let me preface this by saying I am a stay-at-home wife, we do not have children and my husband of 19 years treats me like a queen.
While the article goes overboard - I might mix him a drink but he takes off his own shoes...I make sure the house is clean and dinner is prepped before he gets home so that he has his quiet time. I also shower in the late afternoon, after the chores are done. My hair and makeup are always simple, but I make an effort. It might seem silly and old fashioned but my husband's smile when he walks through the door says it all.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,899 posts)If you are happy then it doesn't matter what other people think.
I think my mother liked playing the good wife. She was a good wife but she wasn't a good mother. She wasn't able to balance the 2 roles.
dlk
(11,664 posts)Good luck with that.
Skittles
(153,634 posts)I love the advice to "be a little gay"
Makes you want to scream and I thought of an appropriate very old joke
Why did Pond's cream?
Because Max Fact 'er!!!
williesgirl
(4,033 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)Glad I was not an adult back then. I would not have been able to stand that much male supremacy!
Blue Owl
(50,908 posts)n/t
GulfCoast66
(11,949 posts)The wife does her share as well!
We have been together 30 years and are still best friends. I would like to have a talk with her about being a little gay...sounds interesting.
csziggy
(34,143 posts)He also washes most of the clothes.
Most of our married life we both worked on the farm so splitting the chores inside the house the same way we split them on the farm seemed reasonable.
Laffy Kat
(16,408 posts)I grew up despising marriage due to watching her be a doormat. My dad cheated on her all the time with independent working women while Mom stayed home and adhered to that drivel. This was during the Mad Men era.