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H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
Mon Jan 29, 2018, 11:47 PM Jan 2018

Memo: DU Secret Society Meeting

Secret Society Members
c/o DU's Deep State
Old Swamp Turnpike
Washington, DC 20500

Memorandum on Super Secret Meeting

Dear Secret Society Member:

Please plan to attend the Annual Super Secret Society Ball, which again will be held at the Democratic Front's Top Secret Headquarters. In order to read, diagnose, and respond to this message, use your Secret Society Special Carter Page Double-Agent Code Ring. The one-day meeting will be held on the weekend of “February 30-31” (the exact day being secret).

The Secret Society currently has unlimited funds, due to a massive, untraceable, and illegal grant from the Clinton Foundation. As you may have seen, as not reported, we will disperse these funds liberally to finance our underhanded attempts to restore our constitutional democracy. After distributing massive amounts of cash so dirty that it appears to have been laundered with Steve Bannon's socks, there will be numerous committee reports.

The afternoon opens with Glace Slick's reporting on the successful effort to inject a timed-release ounce of liquid LSD-25 into Sean Hannity's sinus cavity. This dose will be released at the end of Ms. Slick's presentation, and we will witness the results on our new high-definition theater screen, approximately five minutes into Hannity's show.

Next up is the christian evangelist group, the Organization of Religious Groups Against Smutty Material (ORGASM). They will be showing a brief clip of a cult classic by director Vladimir Putin, featuring Donald Trump and three Russian prostitutes. The film was reportedly hacked from Putin's collection by Malcolm Nance, and free copies will be available for distribution.

Oprah Winfrey will then give free buses to audience members, to transport illegal aliens from state-to-state for full participation in the 2018 elections. Computer discs containing the vital statistics of dead republicans will be included with each bus, in order for the masses to infiltrate every republican primary, complete with instructions on how to cast a write-in vote for Roy Moore.

Then, the long-awaited transcripts of the transcripts of President Obama's tapping Donald Trump's telephones will be released. As a special surprise gift, there will be tapes made from the “bugs” that the CIA planted in both Trump's office and home. A much-anticipated highlight is the conversation that Donald Trump, Jr. had with his father immediately following his “dirt-on-Clinton” meeting with the Russian intelligence operatives in June, 2016.

This will be followed by a secret speech by the Secret Society's new Deputy Director of Media Leaks, Andrew McCabe. Though he only officially began at this new position this afternoon, it is anticipated that he will smoothly transition in, Director of Media Leaks James Comey believes. It is believed that McCabe will oversee leaking to the New York Times and Washington Post, to unsettle Trump before his State of the Union speech on Tuesday.

Finally, a scientific documentary regarding speculation about Donald Trump's DNA will be presented. See below link:

Hope to see you there!

H2O Man
34 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Memo: DU Secret Society Meeting (Original Post) H2O Man Jan 2018 OP
I am going to RSVP yes! Shall bring wine? 😀 FM123 Jan 2018 #1
Yes, definitely. H2O Man Jan 2018 #2
Ye! Good wine and cheese! burrowowl Jan 2018 #17
👍🏼😎 spanone Jan 2018 #3
What's really funny H2O Man Jan 2018 #4
What's Funny Me. Jan 2018 #6
Our good friend H2O Man Jan 2018 #9
I Think We Need A Secret David Bowdich Handshake Me. Jan 2018 #27
I hope you put this on twitter so breitbart can pick it up. n/t 5X Jan 2018 #5
Being very old, H2O Man Jan 2018 #7
Don't forget, secret handshake is that Nanu Nanu thing Mork used to do. Orange Free State Jan 2018 #8
Correct. H2O Man Jan 2018 #10
Should we bring our invisibility cloaks? Nt dflprincess Jan 2018 #11
Yes, of course. H2O Man Jan 2018 #12
A real Orangutan would make a much better president. oasis Jan 2018 #13
True. H2O Man Jan 2018 #18
Well, I plan to attend and I have my decoder ring out OhioBlue Jan 2018 #14
That's the first half. H2O Man Jan 2018 #19
I will be there early, trying not to look suspicious Hekate Jan 2018 #15
The Secret Society H2O Man Jan 2018 #20
How many people do you think... Zoonart Jan 2018 #26
AWESOME NOTE. I LOVE IT. trueblue2007 Jan 2018 #16
Thank you. H2O Man Jan 2018 #22
I can't wait to see Hannity on acid... kentuck Jan 2018 #21
Yep. H2O Man Jan 2018 #23
No doubt, he will be in awe of the flashing lights... kentuck Jan 2018 #24
" In order to read, diagnose, and respond..." Hugin Jan 2018 #25
O.R.G.A.S.M.!!!!! Initech Jan 2018 #28
Hilarious H20--a comic departure from your usual incisive screeds. panader0 Jan 2018 #29
Is this the meeting place? Gothmog Jan 2018 #30
Where do we get our decoder rings? Very funny piece. grantcart Jan 2018 #31
I'm in! I'm bringing my spiritual board so we Ilsa Jan 2018 #32
Dang it! logosoco Jan 2018 #33
Never fear. We started a Go Fund Me for your decoder ring Hekate Jan 2018 #34

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
4. What's really funny
Mon Jan 29, 2018, 11:57 PM
Jan 2018

is that Trump thinks he "won" today, by forcing Andrew McCabe out early. He's in for a big surprise!


(35,454 posts)
6. What's Funny
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:02 AM
Jan 2018

is you may see this printed elsewhere as real and presented as proof.

And the FBIer taking McCabe's place strikes me as being a pretty fierce guy.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
9. Our good friend
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:09 AM
Jan 2018

Stinky the Clown posted an OP comparing today to the Saturday Night Massacre. I agree there are similarities, though I view both as positive days in the greater sense. My reply:

".... I respectfully disagree that this is a "bad" day ......much like that famous day wasn't "bad" in the long run. This being the first time I can think of that I've ever disagreed you with you -- I have great respect for your opinion -- let me add something that you should keep in mind. Nixon wasn't only upset that Archie Cox was going after the tapes -- and this part is too often overlooked: Nixon learned that Cox had also focused attention on documenting that '72 re-election campaign funds were (mis)used to pay Nixon's pal Charles "Bebe" Rebozo for a little land deal in Florida.

"Think about that. Apply it to today! The shit is hitting the fan."

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
7. Being very old,
Reply to 5X (Reply #5)
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:06 AM
Jan 2018

feeble, and without technological abilities, I do not access twitter. Maybe someone else can?

Orange Free State

(611 posts)
8. Don't forget, secret handshake is that Nanu Nanu thing Mork used to do.
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:07 AM
Jan 2018

Secret door knock is “shave and a haircut, two bits”. Secret password is “cofveve”.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
10. Correct.
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:12 AM
Jan 2018

Memorizing these Secret Society Rituals can be difficult for new members. I recommend studying page (redacted) of the manual.


(5,126 posts)
14. Well, I plan to attend and I have my decoder ring out
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:41 AM
Jan 2018

to try and find the actual date, but all I keep getting is:
"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
Son of a bitch!
Can someone send me the new calibration codes?

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
19. That's the first half.
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 10:53 AM
Jan 2018

Go to page 133 of "Fire and Fury," and read the second paragraph while playing "Revolution 9" backwards......

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
20. The Secret Society
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 10:54 AM
Jan 2018

dress code will not be enforced. There will be three tickets at the phone booth.


(17,322 posts)
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 12:54 AM
Jan 2018

I WILL BRING TREATS. Chocolate fountain ..... fondue ...... little smokies in crockpot.
Aunt P's special chicken wings, Grandma B's Date Nut Candy, Chip and Dips, Nachos, Cheese board with fruit and

Vegetarian goodies also.

I am your DU Enthusiastic Food Bringer.


(33,421 posts)
25. " In order to read, diagnose, and respond..."
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 11:27 AM
Jan 2018

You forgot to include "digest".

If you recall, (I know, it's kind of difficult after taking the required 'roofie' after each session) in the last formal meeting of the DU-Secret Society, to enhance security and our physical well being, we decided to print our announcements on nutritionally enhanced paper containing all kinds of wonderful vitamins, minerals, CoQ10, Omega-3s, and a slight dusting of the stuff chem-trails are made of... Essentially, synthetic kale with words printed on it.

Now, if you don't remind the membership to eat the messaging from HQ after reading it (Not, before.) it's all for naught. Our internal communications could fall into the hands of our arch enemies in the Congress.

Don't be the weak link, man!


(61,731 posts)
32. I'm in! I'm bringing my spiritual board so we
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 02:09 PM
Jan 2018

receive divine guidance from those in the hereafter, so they can help us indoctrinate the kiddies and turn the USA into a nation of ghost worshippers!


(3,208 posts)
33. Dang it!
Tue Jan 30, 2018, 02:30 PM
Jan 2018

I have been trying to cut down on carbs and sugar so I have not been able to save up enough box tops for my decoder ring! I could just buy some boxes and let my grandsons eat it, but I spent all my protest money on their Christmas gifts.

And I am free that weekend!

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