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H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
Sat Jan 6, 2018, 01:59 PM Jan 2018


If one sees a two- or three-year old having a tantrum, it's no big deal. Most little ones will have at least one episode in which frustration leads to their becoming angry, crying, yelling, and resistance to following adult directions. They are attempting to get what they identify as their needs met. In my experience as a parent, such tantrums tend to happen while in public (specifically in the toy or candy isle of a store), or when the toddler's psychic radar indicates that the parental unit is tired. Yet, with consistent parenting, the child learns that tantrums do not result in the desired result, and finds better ways of communicating.

When an older child engages in tantrums (“melt-downs”), my experience as a psychiatric social worker leads me to believe that the concept that such behaviors will result in their self-identified needs being met has been reinforced. This is a problem, as school teachers can attest. Unless dealt with, it is generally a sign that this person will have problems in relationships, and society in general.

If an adult engages in tantrums (“hissy fits”), normal people tend to find it rather uncomfortable to be around and witness. The person is, quite literally, attempting to get his or her self-identified needs met, specifically by controlling the behaviors of those around him/her. It is especially toxic in the context of an intimate relationship, for it slowly but surely results in the sane person being forced to agree that what is real is not real, and that which is not real is indeed real. Note: such behaviors serve as flashing red lights to end dating relationships, and “find a good attorney” in marriages.

Such behaviors in adults tends to indicate one of several possibilities. The person may have been raised in a dysfunctional family, where one or both parents communicated anger and frustration in a sick manner. Or, as a toddler and child, this person's outbursts were reinforced. Both of these are indicators of a serious personality disorder. And there is also a possibility that the person has organic brain damage, perhaps from a blow to the front of their head, or possibly a type of mental illness.

In my experience, such failure to master impulse control results in many, probably most, of these individuals to reach their potential as human beings, and lead successful lives. I encountered numerous such examples in the domestic abuse and county jail groups that I facilitated. To assess the level of danger in these, I looked for – among other factors – if the person tended to carry a weapon, and/or if they choked their victim. Both are flashing red lights, that suggest that “treatment” is unlikely to have a long-term positive result.

Hence, I find it particularly unsettling that we now have a tantrum-in-chief serving as president. He has access to the most destructive weapons in human history. More, he has both questioned why we have them if we don't use them, and has threatened to use them several times. Add to that reports that in his daily briefings, no mention of the Russian scandal can be made – for it might result in a tantrum. The White House staff has to pretend that what is real is unreal, and what is unreal is real – the surest way to insure the president doesn't have a melt-down. And watching the news often results in Trump's engaging in a hissy fit. There is a definite pattern here.

The new Wolff book documents that which other journalists have hinted at: that those around Trump view him as “acting like a child.” In this case, it is acting like a spoiled brat, who bends others' behaviors by way of threatened tantrums. Thus, at first, the infamous Trump Tower meeting had to be desribed as all about adoption, despite the knowledge that the New York Times had the e-mail chain that exposed this as a lie. Even his legal team has had to lie to him about the Russian scandal investigation, to keep him “stable.” Trump shows no indication that he has the capacity to change his behaviors, much less any desire to do so.

The Oval Office has become the nation's red light district.

H2O Man
15 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Tantrum-in-Chief (Original Post) H2O Man Jan 2018 OP
Very interesting and spot on Phoenix61 Jan 2018 #1
Right. H2O Man Jan 2018 #3
A Couple Of Things Me. Jan 2018 #2
People are curious. H2O Man Jan 2018 #4
I Don't Know About Me Penning A Level You OP Me. Jan 2018 #5
All predatory H2O Man Jan 2018 #6
Or Maybe Just Smells Better Me. Jan 2018 #7
I appreciate your thoughtful post. smirkymonkey Jan 2018 #8
There's an old saying H2O Man Jan 2018 #10
K & R KelleyKramer Jan 2018 #9
Thank you! H2O Man Jan 2018 #11
A Thought Me. Jan 2018 #12
While I am H2O Man Jan 2018 #13
... Me. Jan 2018 #15
The failure to master impulse control seems very important? kentuck Jan 2018 #14


(17,085 posts)
1. Very interesting and spot on
Sat Jan 6, 2018, 02:13 PM
Jan 2018

Twitler's behavior works for him so there is no motivation for him to change. It has always worked for him. As others have noted he just moves the goal so he's always a winner. Most would see bankruptcy as a failure but he sees it as being smart. Not paying contractors? Pure genius. Life is so much simpler when your moral compass twists in the wind.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
3. Right.
Sat Jan 6, 2018, 11:34 PM
Jan 2018

There's a better chance that my dog will learn to play piano, than there is of Trump changing. I keep laughing when I see reports of him calling himself "genius level." He's not smart enough to keep his stupid mouth shut.



(35,454 posts)
2. A Couple Of Things
Sat Jan 6, 2018, 02:22 PM
Jan 2018

First..I have no understanding of why the staff puts up with it. So he's angry...tough...lots of people have actual valid reasons for anger..can't feed their kids, no house, need medical.

It will never end as long as Congress aids and abets, it is so despicable, will this nation ever return to sanity?

How did we get to this state.

Where is that long arm and when will it bend?

That's all for now.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
4. People are curious.
Sat Jan 6, 2018, 11:51 PM
Jan 2018

There's an old rule in warfare, which goes way back. It was noted that if you place captives in groups of twenty, one will become the group's identified leader. Kill him, and the other nineteen will submit. That's a group dynamic that comes into play in many other situations.

This is not anything that Trump would have ever studied. But, likely as taught by his father, he learned the benefit of having sub-groups engaged in conflicts with each other. And that certainly describes the White House.

I noted that toddlers' have a radar that picks up upon when their parent is exhausted. Likewise, a psychopath has a radar that picks up on others' weaknesses. By chance, I had a long conversation a week ago, regarding how a psychopathic superintendent manipulated the district's staff and board of education. He didn't have to exert control over all the teachers individually, in order to exercise unhealthy control over them as a group. He even intimidated the union president, until I (as a BOE member) showed him how pathetic the threats actually were. It is far easier to recognize when one is standing outside the frame, as opposed to inside the picture.

How did we get to this point? Rubin told me about a survey he once took, asking people if the biggest problem in the US was ignorance or apathy? The most common answer was, "I don't know, and I don't care." There is too much of that these days. But worse yet are people knowing, caring, but feeling unable to make a difference. Who lied to these people? Who convinced them that they have no power? I'd venture that it is the structure of our society, including the advanced technology. I could go on and on about this most important topic you raise here. But better yet, perhaps you could pen an OP, and ask the DU community what they think.


(35,454 posts)
5. I Don't Know About Me Penning A Level You OP
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 12:44 AM
Jan 2018

We'll see. Based on what you wrote, I'd say Trump is correct, he is a genius.....he is evilly brilliant at ..."a psychopath has a radar that picks up on others' weaknesses"

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
6. All predatory
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 12:50 AM
Jan 2018

mammals have that sensed. Dogs, for example, can "smell" fear. And Trump isn't smarter than the average dog.



(63,221 posts)
8. I appreciate your thoughtful post.
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 01:06 AM
Jan 2018

The problem with Trump is that for almost all of his life, other people have given into his tantrums so he has learned that he can get what he wants by having them. The man-baby has never matured because he has never had a reason to mature. Everything has been handed to him on a silver platter and he expects that it always will be that way. When anything gets the slightest bit difficult, he explodes in a fit of rage because things aren't going his way. He will never change. I am afraid this is the best we will see from him.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
10. There's an old saying
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 01:18 PM
Jan 2018

from the great boxing trainer Cus D'Amato that people born round don't die square. Trump's being is due to both genetic and environmental factors, much as the color green is a result of yellow and blue. The aging process has taken an organic toll on this intellectually limited fellow, as well. There is no chance of meaningful change, as you note.

Thank you.

H2O Man

(73,995 posts)
13. While I am
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 03:21 PM
Jan 2018

not that familiar with Wolff, my impression is that he doesn't do anything for free. And he had started off viewing Trump in a positive light. I've seen a few people who I consider intelligent on facebook, suggesting Wolff and/or Bannon was Mr. Mueller's "Deep Throat." That indicates a lack of familiarity with "Deep Throat" (if any one person led that effort in this case, it is Malcolm Nance). I don't consider Wolff to be a good guy. Friends with Bannon. But I like his book!


(35,454 posts)
15. ...
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 03:57 PM
Jan 2018

In trying to imagine who Mueller's deep throat would be I have no idea who fits the bill other than Nance but think it would be hilarious if Kushner was Mueller's deep throat


(111,246 posts)
14. The failure to master impulse control seems very important?
Sun Jan 7, 2018, 03:31 PM
Jan 2018

With his pathology, how far will he go with his threats?

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