Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Exporting Democracy Has Led to Shortages of it in U.S., Experts Say Wisconsin, Florida Hardest Hit

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU
 
Mira Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 08:48 AM
Original message
Exporting Democracy Has Led to Shortages of it in U.S., Experts Say Wisconsin, Florida Hardest Hit
Edited on Thu Apr-14-11 09:03 AM by Mira

APRIL 14, 2011

Andy Borowitz

Exporting Democracy Has Led to Shortages of it in U.S., Experts Say
Wisconsin, Florida Hardest Hit


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) The U.S. policy of exporting democracy abroad has meant that there is very little of it left at home.

That is the grim assessment of a new study commissioned by the University of Minnesota, which predicts that if the U.S. continues to export democracy at its current pace it may completely run out of it at home by the year 2015.

We have been exporting democracy to Afghanistan and Iraq while there are severe shortages of it in Wisconsin and Florida, said Professor Davis Logsdon, who supervised the study. This is madness.

Citing the study, Speaker of the House John Boehner said today, It has been clear to me for some time that we must explore alternative forms of government, such as oligarchy or plutocracy.

Noting that democracy originated in Greece, Mr. Boehner added, We must reduce our dependence on foreign sources of government.

The University of Minnesota study contains several proposals, such as outsourcing the U.S. government to the worlds largest democracy, India.


The work done by Congress could be accomplished much more efficiently by a series of electronic phone prompts, the study recommends.

But Mr. Boehner warned that eliminating Congress entirely would have disastrous effects: That would destroy entire sectors of our economy, especially the prostitution industry.

Speaking from one of the states hardest hit by the democracy shortage, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker downplayed the seriousness of the problem, calling democracy overrated.

Teachers may teach our children that democracy is important, he said, but the solution is to get rid of the teachers.


www.borowitzreport.com
edited to fix a typo
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
dixiegrrrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
1. The best comedy is always based on truth, isn't it?
rec
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pacalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
2. Hahaaa! This is AWESOME!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Fri Aug 29th 2014, 05:21 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC