An old friend of mine passed Saturday.

Are_grits_groceries

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Thu Mar-24-11 08:26 AM
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An old friend of mine passed Saturday.

Edited on Thu Mar-24-11 08:55 AM by Are_grits_groceries

His name was Glenn. I had known him since the 1st grade, and we were in the same schools until we graduated. I cannot even remember all the classes I shared with him. He was funny, smart, gentle and kind.

I was a Girl Scout and when I was in the 9th grade, the local council decided to hold a "Sweetheart Dance." I was not one to get dressed up much less dance. However, my friends were all going so I wanted to attend and join them.

My Mama was over the moon. Her child was going to take a step towards being the lady she so wanted for a daughter. Unfortunately, she was the guiding force behind my style, and hers was stuck in the fifties. I was definitely a fashion plate if you count Chinet. I remember the look on the faces of my friends when they saw me. They quickly covered up their dismay and/or laughter, but I had seen their reaction.

My 'date' was Glenn. In a stereotypical moment, we were both too young to drive so his Daddy took us. I don't remember much about that night except 'fit in' was not in the cards. Sore thumb comes to mind. Glenn was in a suit, and it was hard to mess that up so he was ok.

We remained friends even after that fiasco. There was no lasting romance to my Mama's dismay. She had taken some pictures so that she could at least have her one shining moment to look back on. I was forever looking for those pictures, and I finally found them. Maybe surprisingly, I didn't tear them up. I just hid them and hid them well. I still have them, and I still would wince when I came across them.

After graduation, Glenn, my other friends and I went our very separate ways. I would cross paths with him from time to time when I came home. My Mama, who was an infomeister extraordinaire, kept me abreast of what was going on. I knew he had some trouble with substance abuse, and then he had overcome his demons and was in med school. He became a surgeon, and moved away.

By now, I had really lost track of people especially since my Mama had passed. One of my friends from high school who I had remained in contact with sent me his obituary. In amongst the dry recounting of his life was one nugget of gold that told me a lot. "He was survived by his partner, John." Those seven words held an opening to a whole world I had never known about.

The irony of the situation is that I had finally come out too. I think about that 'date to the dance', and I believe we were two confused people trying to be square pegs in round holes. Underneath our outer selves, there was really an unexpressed and at that time undefined longing for something else. We were both to go through a lot until we realized what it was. Glenn and I were just two people in our separate closets with no way out in sight at that time.

I'm glad Glenn found his way out into the sunshine. I am going to find that picture that I so loathed, and I am going to frame it. When I look at it, I will be reminded of a confusing time and my sweet friend who was more a part of me than I ever realized.