Happy Thanksgiving DU! As Per Tradition, My Secret Turkey Seasoning Recipe...

[Hissyspit]

It is eye-wateringly delicious!

1. First off, you should brine a young bird, previously kept in a frozen zone, for three days.

2. Let the turkey sit peacefully for 1/2 hour. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

3. Then apply butter LIBERALLY.

When all this is done...

4. Coat with equal parts:

Lemon-Peppper Spray
Seasoned Salt (w/ Capsicum)
Thyme

5. Roast the bird for 2-3 hours.

Your finished turkey should look just like the picture below.

Serve with roasted red peppers, peppercorns, and autumn root vegetables, such as tomato sauce.

I promise that the excessive use of this delicious food product will shut up any of your visiting right-wing relatives for hours! Students returning from college for Thanksgiving Break will love it, too! If they get too much, make them swallow the left-overs!

NOTE: Satire, although the seasoning recipe really is delicious (just leave the capsicum out).

[Liberal Veteran]

1. Liberal? You know who else was "Liberal".....??????

Me! Me! Wonderful me! That's who.

[TBF]

2. Have a wonderful holiday, Hissyspit. K&r

[snooper2]

3. The only proper way to cook a turkey is to drop it in a vat of oil

but that sounds pretty good too

:)

[Liberal Veteran]

7. Which half of the turkey should still be frozen when frying it for the best flambe effects?

:shrug:

[snooper2]

11. I have mine fully thawed but add a block of dry ice to the inside

It gives a good needed shock to the meat as it starts cooking :)

[quinnox]

4. Even though I hate turkey this looks like a nice recipe

and I'm sure someone else will enjoy it.

[Hissyspit]

6. Well, this post is meant as satire, but

the lemon pepper, seasoned salt, thyme coating IS real and delicious.

[quinnox]

8. lol sorry

As you can see I'm no chef

[Cirque du So-What]

5. You've inspired a bit of premature salivation on my part

Sounds delicious. Your family is fortunate. Happy Thanksgiving.

[gateley]

9. Finally Pike's gate crashing resulted in something others will benefit from!

It's time he brought something to the party rather than just showing up everywhere for the photo op!

:hi:

Happy Thanksgiving, Hissyspit!

[Hissyspit]

10. I'm glad this didn't go over EVERYONE'S head.

:hi:

[ChairmanAgnostic]

12. Hey, you forgot the rum!

A. Find a great bottle of carib Rum. Open carefully. Pour 1/2 a glass for quality control purposes.

1. First off, you should brine a young bird, previously kept in a frozen zone, for three days.

B. After all that hard work, pour another 1/2 glass, again for quality control purposes.

2. Let the turkey sit peacefully for 1/2 hour. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees.

C. Watch the bird carefully for that half hour, sipping another 1/2 glass of Rum.

3. Then apply butter LIBERALLY.

D. Congratulate yourself on a job well done, by pouring 1/2 glass of Rum.

When all this is done...

4. Coat with equal parts:

E. Coat your internal organs with Rum, to ease the shock of food reaching your tummy.

Lemon-Peppper Spray
Seasoned Salt (w/ Capsicum)
Thyme

5. Roast the bird for 2-3 hours.

F. Insure the bottom of the bottle tastes just as good as the top and middle parts by pouring 1/2 glass of Rum.

[pinboy3niner]

13. You just had to include that baster, Pike, didn't you?

:rofl:

P.S. Why do I have to brain the bird if I've already frozen him for 3 days? I think I need to read those instructions again...

[Hissyspit]

14. Code Words:

eye-wateringly

young

frozen zone

sit peacefully

LIBERALLY.

Lemon-Peppper Spray

Capsicum

red peppers,

peppercorns

vegetables, such as tomato sauce.

excessive use

food product

college students - make them swallow