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"The first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging." -- Molly Ivins
Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican: "1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault. 2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own. 3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.”
"What stuns me most about contemporary politics is not even that the system has been so badly corrupted by money. It is that so few people get the connection between their lives and what the bozos do in Washington and our state capitols." -- Molly Ivins
"I'm really glad that your young people missed the Depression and missed the big war. But I do regret that they missed the leaders that I knew, leaders who told us when things were tough and that we'd have to sacrifice, and that these difficulties might last awhile. They brought us together and they gave us a sense of national purpose.” -- Ann Richards
"I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas." -- Molly Ivins
“Poor George , he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” -- Ann Richards
The rest are by Molly Ivins:
"It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong."
"In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose."
"Good thing we've still got politics in Texas -- finest form of free entertainment ever invented."
"Better than the zoo. Better than the circus."
"Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair's-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?"
"Say, here's an item: A group of right-wing journalists famed for their impartiality has set themselves up as the Patriotism Police. No less distinguished a crowd than Rush Limbaugh, Matt Drudge, The New York Post editorial page and the Fox News Channel -- quite a bunch of Pulitzer winners there -- are now passing judgment on whether media outlets that do actual reporting are sufficiently one-sided for their taste."
"I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle."
"If he gets even more sedate, we will have to water him twice a week."
"If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."
"Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."
"Everyone knows the man has no clue, but no one there has the courage to say it. I mean, good gawd, the man is as he always has been: barely adequate."
"Let me say for the umpteenth time, George W. is not a stupid man. The IQ of his gut, however, is open to debate. In Texas, his gut led him to believe the death penalty has a deterrent effect, even though he acknowledged there was no evidence to support his gut's feeling. When his gut, or something, causes him to announce that he does not believe in global warming -- as though it were a theological proposition -- we once again find his gut ruling that evidence is irrelevant. In my opinion, Bush's gut should not be entrusted with making peace in the Middle East."
"Last week, I began a sentence by saying, "If Bush had any imagination ..." and then I hit myself. Silly me."
"If you think his daddy had trouble with "the vision thing," wait till you meet this one."
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