Addictions Aren't Just About Drugs. It's Upsetting To See So Many Liberals Disregard

[KittyWampus]

extreme behavioral problems and minimize the pain people go through.

Most DU'ers probably have some sort of addictive or compulsory behavior that is fairly benign. Coffee, video games, shoes.

For some people, such behavior unfortunately becomes not just habitual but ever more frequent, as the brain seeks that rush from engaging whatever behavior triggers that release of dopamine.

Think of the person who can't stop gambling and loses their home. The person who can't stop shopping and ends up with rooms full of clothing never worn and a massive credit card debt. The person who can't stop eating. The kid who can't put the text messaging away to do homework.

Like an addiction centered on substance abuse (like heroin or alchohol), the person suffering finds their life falling apart, lies to cover up, hurts their loved ones and self destructs.

I hope Rep Weiner has hit bottom and is truly going to come to grips with his issues. He is now essentially the equivalent of a dry drunk. He's got a lot of work to do. As anyone who has kicked smoking, drinking or nodding will tell you.

I would think those who claim to care about Rep Weiner would want him to get the help he needs to find his center and rebuild his life & regain the trust of his family.


"Addiction is a physical or psychological dependence on a substance or behavior. In medical terms, it is the result of the body being unable to maintain a normal state without use of an artificial substance. Psychological addiction is closely related to compulsion, in which the body or mind seeks a rewarding chemical reaction from behavior that may be in some way harmful. There are many factors that can lead to addiction, from genetics to traumatic experiences or mental disorders."

"The practice of addiction psychiatry is a relatively new area to psychological medicine. Because of the traditional codes of shame and silence about addiction, it is only within the last 100 years that the idea of treating addicts has come to light. With advanced understanding of the chemical reaction to addiction and the psychological factors included in the process, addiction psychiatry has advanced tremendously since the mid-20th century. It is often recommended for recovering addicts in addition to other treatments or therapies, and is sometimes court-ordered as part of prison-alternative sentencing."

[RKP5637]

1. +1000 +++ n/t

[cordelia]

2. K & R

[geek tragedy]

3. He's not a victim, just a narcissistic creep. nt

[KittyWampus]

6. Dealing with addiction is less focusing on "victimhood" and more about being honest

and learning to cope with life's stress in more constructive ways.

I don't think of him as a victim but someone caught in a vicious circle of self destructive behavior.

[Zoeisright]

7. And, example number one.

Happy now?

[sense]

56. Absolutely.

Not a curable disease.

[Fumesucker]

4. It kind of looks like Rep Weiner is Addicted to Love..

Simply irresistible.

[Mira]

5. Off to the greatest. This is very well presented and right on as I understand it. n/t

[rollin74]

8. K & R

[CoffeeCat]

9. I'm mystified as to why...

Weiner or anyone else is racing to label his behavior as "an addiction".

Addictions are serious. Any yes, they are about quelling pain and stress--and avoiding
overwhelming feeling.

Why is his behavior considered an addiction? I get that practically anything can be considered
an addiction. Yes, someone could be addicted to the Internet or even to sex.

However, Weiner seems like he was just fooling around--having racy sex talk with some women
and sending pictures. There are tens of thousands of healthy, normal males and females
engaging in those very behaviors right now. As we type! This is the way of the world.

I think what he did was immoral and unethical and that he betrayed his wife. For Pete's sake
though--why is this being elevated to "addiction" status. Just to get him off the hook in the
eyes of the public, or what?

I don't think he should resign over this. Let his constituents vote him out, if they please.
But really--let's not elevate horny, stupid behavior to some kind of illness and turn Weiner
into a victim. It's disingenuous and it's silly.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. i agree

[orion007]

11. Weiner himself has said that his wife knew about this before their

marriage, and then apologized for 'letting her down'(paraphrasing ).
One would think from his statement that he promised to end his sexting escapades and did not.
If there's repeated behaviors that one hides, negatively affects relationships, job, yada,yada, it can be refered to as an addiction.
Or some call it OCB..that obsessive compulsive behavior.
Whatever one calls it or chooses to call it Weiner's life is in turmoil now due to it.
I agree that checking-in for whatever cause is the common practice among those with the luxury to do so,and we have no idea the lives/families that have and are being challenged and destroyed by computer/social media sex?
maybe checking out some web-sites/blogs would give one an idea just how wide-spread the problem is with those that are anonymous to us?

[WhaTHellsgoingonhere]

67. That's well said.

You have to look at the consequences of repeated behavior. Doing stupid shit that's harmless won't ruin your career, friendships, marriage, etc..

As for those saying he gets off the hook because he's playing the victim card... WTF are you talking about? Who let him off the hook? You? Who's calling him a victim? You?

When I hear someone say, "I fucked up and I'm going to get help..." my first impulse isn't to accuse that person of playing the victim card. But people have made up their mind what addiction is supposed to look like and in that way have narrowly defined it. It follows that they'll have a knee-jerk reaction once something like this comes up. It will always bother you. It won't sit well with you. That's your problem.

[EFerrari]

12. And if it is an addiction, which is possible,

fingering it endlessly in public is intrusive and inappropriate.

It's ironic that the very people who trash Anthony Weiner for inappropriate public behavior don't recognize their own.

[orion007]

15. LOL...Oh please ,direct your intrusive and inappropriate comment to its source

of origin, which is Weiner, apples and oranges,total fail.

[inna]

21. huh?? wtf are you even talking about? total fail on YOUR part, "buddy".

[EFerrari]

32. Do you want it in smaller words?

:)

[Kaleko]

66. That is exactly it.

I'm sitting here, hiding thread after thread where the headline promises to continue the virtual fingering of Anthony Weiner's dick, err, sexual problems.

Seems like a hornets nest of old geezer armchair psychologists has been stirred into vicarious action. Sheesh!

[EFerrari]

68. You may be right but given the poll taken here the other night

it looks like it isn't the old geezers here who are surprised that leaders can be flawed.

:)

[Kaleko]

69. A poll about Weiner asking for people's age?

I must have hidden that too in my zeal to escape Weinerland.

Anyone got a link? ;)

[EFerrari]

70. Sorry, here it is:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=1278300&mesg_id=1278300

[Kaleko]

71. You're the best.

What would DU be without the likes of you?

I shudder to think.

[marions ghost]

77. Compulsive behavior isn't fooling around

The thrill is that it's shameful and risky (risky because he's a public figure). It's a form of neurotic self-sabotage, complex & habitual. This is a serious affliction when it gets to the level of destroying one's career and reputation.

IMO he's not immoral, unethical or necessarily betraying his new wife. I think he's done this sort of sad, unsatisfying, exhibitionist behavior for awhile. It can be confronted and overcome, with work.

[LadyHawkAZ]

13. It is equally damaging to a person to pressure them

into believing they have a mental problem when they don't. And I truly do not believe he does. I think he did something that he enjoyed, but society disapproves of. And I find it sad that he will probably be bullied into believing that there's something mentally wrong with him.

A century ago, it was nymphomania. Thirty years ago, it was homosexuality. Now it's "sex addiction". See a pattern?

[Warren DeMontague]

18. +1,000,000

it's between him & his wife, if he didn't break the law.

[KittyWampus]

28. It's got a biochemical component as well. And equating reckless compulsive behavior to

healthy expressions of homosexuality is really unfortunate.

If he'd done this anonymously. Hadn't been so reckless. If he had been able to stop when he got married. Hadn't lied. THEN you could say he's just engaging in normal behavior. It's pretty obvious he didn't know where to draw the line.

[LadyHawkAZ]

43. If he'd done it anonymously...

the same faction that's howling about it now would be touting that anonymous account as a "sign" that he "knew what he was doing was wrong" and yet one more sign of a made-up "sex addiction". There would be zero difference in the effect.

And let me remind you that by your standards, healthy homosexual behavior isn't healthy. It's still socially frowned upon, was illegal in several states until a decade ago (which made it reckless and risky behavior), people still do lie about it to family members out of shame (and even marry the opposite sex), family members do get hurt when the person comes out, and it has been (and still is in some circles) classified in the past as a disease or disorder. EVERY SINGLE STANDARD YOU ARE APPLYING TO WEINER APPLIES HERE. Reflect on that for awhile.

[KittyWampus]

46. I said absolutely NOTHING about "socially frowned upon". That's your bugaboo. And it has nothing to

do with addictive/compulsive behavior.

[LadyHawkAZ]

49. It's what you're practicing

and it's the only thing that makes Weiner's actions bad. Social disapproval.

[Bluenorthwest]

47. Meditate on this. I see the core of your confusion in the idea that

people are hurt by coming out, rather than by being in the closet. Nasty thought pattern if you ask me.

[LadyHawkAZ]

48. Wow

I'm in Utah, where Mormon gays kill themselves at an alarming rate because of the disapproval they face. It's been a huge issue here. Where are you and what's life like there?

Edit to clarify further: because of social ostracism and disapproval, coming out without a firm support network in place can be traumatic to the point of suicide. There are people here that genuinely believe the Mormon line that they're mentally ill, that their attraction is totally a choice, that all they need to do is control themselves, that they just need treatment and a church-approved person to love and it will all go away... pretty much the same meme being used on Weiner. It's garbage, but enough stress and pressure and people will really believe there's something wrong with them. That's what I'm concerned about with Rep. Weiner- that he may wind up genuinely convinced he's sick.

[LadyHawkAZ]

57. Incidentally, about that biochemical component...

have you done any research into the brain chemistry involved in falling in love?

Illness? Addiction? Should we all get treatment?

[gkhouston]

14. You actually think that sexting and sex talk online is "hitting bottom"?

I've known a few sex addicts and that is nowhere near the bottom. Weiner might have an addiction, but it's not clear that he does from what little we know.

[orion007]

16. Whatever he has or doesn't have his life right now is in turmoil

from it, he's fortunate that he has the luxury of checking in somewhere if he so chooses.

[KittyWampus]

27. When your behavior becomes reckless? When you can't stop, lie about it your family? Yes.

If it was just casual, he would have had the smarts to be anonymous. Instead, he chose to do this as Rep. Weiner.

[LadyHawkAZ]

34. Once again...

it's a behavior that is frowned on by American society, although it is otherwise harmless. If it were not for that variable, it would not BE reckless behavior, just enjoyable. Was homosexuality an illness when it was illegal and "reckless", and people lied about it to their families?

[gkhouston]

54. So if he sexts under his own name it's an addiction but if he uses an anon account it's not?

Good to know that it would be so much "healthier" if he'd simply created an anonymous account for the purpose of sexting people. :eyes:

[Warren DeMontague]

17. Sorry it's upsetting to you that not everyone agrees with your definitions or solutions.

I realize that every time someone minimizes the act of putting a PENIS! on the INTERNET! God kills a kitten and puppies cry, but please, spare the lecture. Not everyone agrees with you, and not everyone HAS to agree with you.

The idea of 'addiction' to things like sex, or the internet, or video games, is controversial and hardly widely accepted science, to say the least. In short, not everyone- CERTAINLY not all neurologists, for one- agree that these so-called 'addictions' really qualify.

Sure, some 'treatment professionals' stand to make bank from treating 'sex addicts' who masturbate more than 3 times a week (one proposed definition for 'sex addiction' :rofl:) but the truth of the matter is that in the fields of scientists actually making a stab at dealing with what is the undeniably REAL physiological syndrome of physical addiction (like, say, alcoholism resulting in seizures or DTs upon withdrawl) the folks trying to define everything from sex to shopping to cookie eating --everything except maybe going to 12 step meetings, oddly-- as potential 'addictions' are seen as at best a sideshow and at worst a joke.

[woo me with science]

19. I bet you're codependent.

You are obviously an enabler in denial. And I have news for you...

Your inner child is CRYING!

:rofl:

[Warren DeMontague]

20. That's my inner INDIGO child, thank you very much.

And it's never gotten over the moon bombing.

[woo me with science]

22. ...

:rofl: :applause:

[RainDog]

52. you're Forer effected n/t

[KittyWampus]

29. Big difference between a "penis on the internet" and a Congressman using his title to engage in

sexting and then become careless about it, not be able to stop when he gets married and then lie to his family.

[Warren DeMontague]

36. Maybe he didn't feel like stopping.

No laws were broken, everyone was an adult... if his wife wants to dump him that's certainly understandable, but not everyone needs nor wants to conform their minds and behavior to the dictates of 'god as (they) understand him'. Maybe he's happy being a dick-picture sending playboy.

[yawnmaster]

50. I'm sure he could stop, "anytime he wants to". eom

[Warren DeMontague]

51. Or, maybe that's how he wants to be.

Can the people who 'need' to go to several 12 step meetings a day 'stop any time they want to'?

[yawnmaster]

55. Yes, maybe it is. maybe it is. eom

[Warren DeMontague]

61. 'course, if he stopped tweeting pictures of his dick cold turkey, he could end up in the hospital

with 72 hours of life-threatening DTs, heart palpitations and shin-clawing withdrawls.

After all, addiction can be ugly.

[marions ghost]

78. he's more like the flasher in the alley

--a practice which doesn't make people particularly happy.

Even in cyberspace you have to make the distinction between recreations and compulsions.

[RainDog]

37. excellent

America has created a culture of pathology.

behavior is no longer simply behavior - and pharmeutical cos have a medicine for that...

running is addictive behavior. so we better make all joggers resign from public office. just because they haven't tweeted photos of themselves, we still have to come to terms with them engaging in potentially addictive behavior - even if they haven't actually risen to the level of pathology - it's sort of... pathology in training.

:)

[Codeine]

40. Three times a week?!

:rofl: I better call up Whacker's Anonymous!

[Warren DeMontague]

42. Admitting you have a problem is the first step!!!!

I honestly don't know how many men WOULDN'T qualify under that criteria, at least at some point in their lives.

It's like those ads: "Call your doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours" Sure, at this point, I might call the Today Show if I had a 4 hour erection, but I once had an erection that lasted 4 years... ...it was called "High School"

[Tx4obama]

23. I'm hoping that Patrick Kennedy will come out and speak on Anthony Weiner's behalf.

Patrick Kennedy has been working with groups and doctors to help promote mental health/addiction research.

I must say that I have laughed along with most folks at all the Weiner jokes on late night tv, but if Weiner has a online sex addiction then it really is 'no laughing matter'.

I've heard Dr. Laura Berman speak on one of the news shows about how online sex addiction is not uncommon, etc. and she approached the Weiner issue as a medical professional with an open mind.

There needs to be more 'serious' talk about the issue and less joking and pearl clutching.

Just my two cents.

[JohnnyLib2]

24. K & R

Odds are good that AW will become a spokesperson for one sort of treatment or another. Life is strange.

[QuintanarooBoy]

25. K&R to THAT!

Truly distressing to see members of (I was told, anyway) a "liberal" website acting like Ward and June Cleaver.

[TheDebbieDee]

26. I believe that people can be addicted to food, drugs, religion.......

I think seeing someone behave as though they are addicted to religion is the scariest addiction because NO ONE will question the addicted person about their behavior without being accused of being an atheist.

[KittyWampus]

30. IMO, the delineation of when it's a problem is whether one has control of ones own Will.

Listenting to the Fundies, they just parrot the hateful nonsense they've been spoon fed.

And their relation to "god", whatever god is to them, largely depends on an intermediary who profits from the whole thing.

[Warren DeMontague]

35. The entire point of religion is often to get people to subject their will to imaginary 'authorities'

Control of one's own will? Maybe sending pictures of his dick to people was what Weiner really wanted to do. Just because someone is doing something naughty or even self-destructive, doesn't mean it's not "their own will".

[QuintanarooBoy]

31. ESPECIALLY Religion

And I am an atheist, so let 'em fire away!

[woo me with science]

33. ...and therapy.

:evilgrin:

[B-Stupid]

38. Weiner doesn't have an addiction problem

he has a self control problem.

[Wounded Bear]

39. You can usually spot someone who undestands addiction....

versus one who has no clue in about 1 or 2 posts.

:shrug:

[Codeine]

41. Or perhaps not everyone agrees with you?

:shrug:

[Abq_Sarah]

74. Behaving like an immature dumbass

Isn't an addiction.

[RiverStone]

44. Yes - and he should not be in office while working on it

You said: I would think those who claim to care about Rep Weiner would want him to get the help he needs to find his center and rebuild his life & regain the trust of his family.

I agree! And this is a situation where he should prioritize getting personal help, rebuilding balance, and taking time to focus OUTSIDE the public eye.

Fighting the calls to resign has to be stressful; that will not change if he returns after a "short leave" - it's just a job, albeit an incredibly important one. The fact he exercised such very poor judgment, then tried to lie about it does suggest addictive behavior. As many people know, it is not a quick fix.

I believe he could leave public office and return someday, if Anthony Weiner honestly deal with it --- away from the spotlight.

[Odin2005]

45. You can become addicted to ANYTHING. It's something the Buddhists have known for over 2000 years.

According to Buddhist teachings suffering comes from becoming attached, and thus addicted to, plesuable stimuli. instead of just enjoying the stimuli we become addicted to them and we want more, so we suffer.

[Warren DeMontague]

62. desire, attachment, and fear of loss - all part of the same thing.

Which is why some have argued that over-indulgence of desire is as equally a valid path to enlightenment as denial of desire.

IMHO the best approach is to remember the Wisdom of Bill Hicks: "It's just a ride". Enjoy it, know it won't last, watch the pretty pictures float by.

As much as possible.

[loyalsister]

53. For the sake of argument

I disagree but will grant the assumption that this is addiction. Those of us who have known addicts have also had to cut some people loose. In the interest of self preservation, friends and loved ones have to stop putting up with being lied to, for example. There may be a recovery down the road, but until then people who have important relationships with addicts walk away from them if they want to maintain and proceed with satisfying lives.
I'm not in Weiner's district, but I personally have felt like he was representing my interests as a frequent media spokesman for major issues I care about and as a leader in the House. I am very sad to now hope that he will cut is losses, resign and put his personal life back together. While I am doubtful of the origin of this behavior, I think my feelings are consistent with a healthy way to deal with that situation.

[RainDog]

72. I have experience dealing with family members with addiction, too

contrary to what some would like to think - some of us who disagree about this issue have had experience with therapies for this issue - have read hundreds of books, attended countless hours of various classes or sessions to deal with these things - and have years of experience behind us dealing with the health care system related to the same - a health care system, btw, that is fraught with scams about treatment depending upon insurance coverage, and the co-morbidity of mental illness for these same people.

while people do engage in behavior that we may think is stupid and not suited for the position he or she holds, I find there is a great deal of difference between what most people lightly label addiction (and the way this becomes a way of de-stigmatizing behavior for the scolds among us, whether something rises to the level of addiction or not)

when his constituents want to vote him out, then let him go.

stupidity is not an illness.

attempting to make every action that we do not like a reflection of an illness or an addiction is bad medicine and bad politics.

[mzmolly]

58. Coffee? Check. Shoes? Check. DU?

Check. ;)

[KittyWampus]

59. Chocolate?

er... um... well.

[mzmolly]

60. Ch

eck. Micro-brews? Check. Red wine? Check. MSNBC? Check.

Hmmmmm :freak:

[Odin2005]

63. Internet? Check!

Seriously, when my internet services goes down I start having withdraw symptoms!

[KittyWampus]

64. Me too. I like bickering with you.

:)

[Odin2005]

65. Bickering? LOL!

:hi:

[mzmolly]

73. LOL. Yep,

that too! :hi:

[bemildred]

75. Addiction is physical. Obsession is not.

These distinctions are important.

[yawnmaster]

76. define physical please. eom