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Edited on Sat Dec-04-10 01:43 AM by NuclearDem
Where to start with this...
I was born into a very conservative home. I grew up listening to Rush Limbaugh on the car radio, I grew up with Fox News on the television, and I grew up in a world where "Democrat" and "liberal" were used as slurs, where progressivism was codeword for "treason" or "wanting the terrorists to win."
So it should be no surprise I spent much of my childhood, teen years, and early adult life living a life full of hatred. I can only thank my lucky circumstances it wasn't hatred towards other races or religions, I was lucky to have been raised in a community and household where that wasn't acceptable. But it was certainly a hatred of my fellow man, a distrust of my fellow countrymen. To me, everyone out there was an enemy: if you weren't a godless anti-American anti-war protester or Euro-loving elitist scum, then you were someone deserving of death for hating America.
Fast-forward to Summer 2007...at the Military Entrance Processing Station in downtown Indianapolis, I swore the Oath of Enlistment...and off I was to the Air Force. Like a lot of people I know, I joined in a mad 'patriotic' (now I realize, nationalistic) fervor; I wanted the glory, I wanted to punch some terrorist in the face; I wanted to spite the anti-war protester.
As an Airborne Cryptologic Linguist, I had a longer training time than others. I spent a good two years alone in Monterey learning to speak Arabic. There, I was first exposed to Al Jazeera. There, I first started viewing other news sources; I broke myself from Fox. There, I started realizing...some of the things I was taught growing up, the pro-war attitude, the terrorists-hate-us-for-our-freedoms mantra, the if-you've-got-nothing-to-hide-you-shouldn't-be-afraid nonsense I was raised with...it wasn't true. Well then, if that wasn't true...what else had I been wrong about?
I was in Monterey for the entirety of the 2008 election season...and despite the doubts in my mind, despite all of what I had been thinking over the past year, I still found myself supporting John McCain almost to the bitter end. But when I finally filled out that military absentee ballot...I felt something inside me turn. My mind told to make my mark for McCain...but something else, I don't know what, convinced me otherwise. That day...I proudly voted for Senator Barack Obama.
I don't know what caused it, but I changed. All of a sudden, I found myself downtown volunteering at soup kitchens, running canned food drives, and helping homeless shelters--no longer because I wanted bullets for my performance reports, but because I realized that while I had everything, there were really Americans who had nothing. Instead of donating blood to give myself an excuse to not exercise that week, I did so thinking of all of the people who would need it.
When I finally finished all of my training and went off to war for the first time, I had changed. I was over there fighting not for the Air Force mission, but for the thousands of innocent Afghans whose lives this war had ruined. It was my mission--even if it wasn't my superiors'--to protect them. I fought for them, and I hold my head high because of it.
But now...after coming back, I realize my war isn't over there. I came home to an America where hundreds will die every day because they can't see a doctor. I came back to an America where patriotic dissent was viewed as treason, where the people who had the biggest hearts for their fellow man were called "socialists", "communists", or worse. I came back realizing that the America I had enlisted to fight for...almost wasn't worth fighting for.
But now...I realize there is something to fight for. Every time I see someone pull over to the side of the road to help someone with a flat, every time I see someone giving their lifeblood for someone they likely will never know, when I see the thousands of dollars of generosity for charities--all coming from people who can't afford to give, but do anyway--I see there is something worth standing for. I see hope.
We've had some serious setbacks these last few years...our President has let us down, our Congress has let us down, and many of us have let ourselves down. But I know that every moment one of us is still breathing, every moment one of us still believes in a Progressive America, every moment I see that same spirit of love for our fellow man, no matter who they are or where they live on this Earth...I know this is a country worth fighting for.
My war's at home now. And I will never lay down arms, I will never leave my brothers and sisters in arms, I will keep fighting until I breathe my last...until we've won.
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