Local Family Homeless After Tornado Destroys White House

[meegbear]

'We've Lost Everything,' Family Says



Barack Obama stands alone in the ruins of what was once his living room, calling out in vain for a dog that never comes. Less than 36 hours ago, his house stood proudly intact. But the violent tornado that tore through the region late Sunday night upended everything in an instant, scattering his belongings and leaving his family homeless and helpless.

"My God, just look at this," the 48-year-old government employee said as he surveyed the splintered furniture and mangled chandeliers that littered the 18-acre property. "Everything is gone. Our clothes, our family photos, the federal budget for fiscal year 2011—it's all gone."

Added Obama, "This was our dream home."

With no relatives in the area to turn to, the Obamas have been living in the basement of Calvary Methodist Church on M Street and bathing at the nearby YMCA. However, with the church running low on canned goods and funds to support the displaced family, Obama worries he and his loved ones may soon be forced to move into a shelter or live out of their motorcade.

"My youngest daughter keeps asking me when we can go home," said part-time social worker Michelle Obama, 46, who escaped the disaster with nothing more than her enduring spirit and the Narciso Rodriguez cap-sleeve silk dress on her back. "I don't know what to tell her."

As of press time, several items of sentimental value to the family remained unaccounted for, including Mrs. Obama's wedding gown, both daughters' baby books, David Axelrod, and an antique portrait of George Washington that had been in the home for generations.

For Mr. Obama, who had worked primarily from a home office, the tornado's merciless destruction has been a doubly painful blow.

"My desk was right here," said a drawn Obama, pointing down at a tattered, rubble-strewn carpet bearing the Seal of the President of the United States. "I'd sit here every morning with my cup of coffee and paper, quietly perusing the latest intelligence on credible terrorist plots against the U.S. mainland."

"I'd give anything to have the comfort of that daily routine back," Obama added.

<snip>


Joe Biden, 67, helps Obama sort through personal documents in the remains of his home office.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-family-homeless-after-tornado-destroys-white,17757/

[TwilightGardener]

1. I cracked up at "everything's gone, clothes, family photos, federal budget for FY2011..."

[Deep13]

2. Obama and Biden look oddly proportioned.

:rofl:

[Stinky The Clown]

3. Hahaha HAAAAAhahaha hahaha

I love The Onion.