Latest Sarah Palin Speech Opens Sixth Seal

[joeybee12]

IDAHO FALLS, ID—Speaking unto an audience of anti-immigration advocates, global-warming deniers, and members of the Tea Party Nation, former Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave forth utterances Monday that reportedly opened the sixth seal of the Book of the Apocalypse.

"Wow, it's good to be here, just shootin' the breeze with a bunch of real, hardworking Americans who love their freedom," said Palin, her words echoing across the Idaho Falls Civic Auditorium as mighty tremors caused great unrest beneath the land and the sea. "So are the little guys like you and me gonna fight these Washington insiders with their big government agenda? You betcha we are!"

And lo, there was then a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair; and the moon became as blood; and "gosh" was spoken repeatedly; and the stars of heaven fell upon the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken by a mighty wind.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_sarah_palin_speech_opens

[FSogol]

1. I knew it.

"Admittedly, this is not what we were expecting," said Robert Harwood, a doctor of divinity at the University of Cambridge. "The Bible speaks of a beast with seven horns and seven eyes, not a raven-haired woman from the north who knows not what foolishness she speaks of." "Still, there's no denying it," Harwood added. "The End of Days is upon us."

One member of the crowd not torn apart by swarming harpies told reporters he feared living in a country where his daughters would grow up speaking Spanish and not be allowed to carry handguns.

"Small town folks—the folks who grow our food, run our small businesses, and teach our kids—are getting pretty riled up by President Obama's big socialist ideas," Palin spoke as the stage upon which she stood was rent apart by an unseen hand, opening as unto a great chasm, whose gaping void she narrowly escaped by clinging to the podium.

[joeybee12]

2. Oh yeah, now that it's happened, we should have seen it coming! n/t

[Blue Owl]

3. The empty-headed beast has been unleashed.

Let the gnashing of teeth begin...

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

4. How can someone talk about anti-immigration and freedom at the same time?

Audience of anti-immigration advocates.. and "hardworking Americans who love their freedom," :shrug:

[joeybee12]

6. "their freedom" - that's the key...their's and no one else's...n/t

[opihimoimoi]

5. Fuck this shit....she ain't crap....The Divisive One is dividing the masses with her hookie bullshit

There is only so much shallow peeps she can appeal to...

Most Americans can see through her ACT...You betcha (wink)

What??? Only her can love hard working Freedom ..Constitution and all?? Fuck that!

We love America much more than her...

We work to make America Better...

The GOPers record speaks for it self...they suck at leading the Nation to prosperity

you know, the healthy wealthy and wise thingy..

Forget the GOP Party...they be the Party of Bait and Switch...deception...and lost Bullies who whine and run home to mama....

They have no HONOR and NO CLASS

[MineralMan]

7. Are you saying that she is the Whore of Babylon?

I thought she was from Alaska...I've gotta get more up-to-date...really...