"Sex is allowed to happen legally between a man and a woman who are married..."

[Kurt_and_Hunter]

"...and it doesn't involve cucumbers."

——Concerned mom on TV explaining her objection to a billboard for a sex shop with a picture of a cucumber and the slogan "stop vegetable abuse"

(Bonus: the billboard message actually agrees with her that sex should not involve cucumbers--presumably the idea is that one should buy a dildo from the advertiser. But I digress...)

I mention this not to defend the billboard, about which I care nothing, but because it points up the widespread social pathology of believing/assuming that things to which one objects personally are illegal.

"Sex is allowed to happen legally..."

This pathology has many manifestations, including constantly stating people are guilty of "treason" and demanding the impeachment of officials for policy disagreements. This also extends to the belief that it is okay to persecute legal-but-dirty businesses via additional scrutiny of fire codes and police harassment of customers because... well, it's just wrong!

Just because it makes one upset doesn't mean it is illegal.

And here's the kicker... just because it makes one upset doesn't even mean that it should be illegal.

[WCGreen]

1. Bravo...

Well stated...

just cause I don't like midget mud wrestling doesn't mean it should be illegal...

[Solly Mack]

2. I wonder if it was burpless.

[Robeysays]

28. haha

nah, straight eight.

[fasttense]

3. Illegal sex.....

Seems human kind has been making up all sorts of laws concerning sex for most of its history.

It's just too much fun to be unregulated.

[L0oniX]

30. Investors are just waiting to back ESMWK ..."Emergency Soap Mouth Wash Kits" .

[Boojatta]

4. Marriage involves financial obligations.

To forbid sex outside marriage is to insist that sex must be associated with financial obligations. Interestingly, laws against prostitution specifically forbid simple financial transactions from being associated with sex. Perhaps it would be possible to circumvent laws against prostitution simply by inventing complicated transactions involving money and sex?

[Electric Monk]

19. nookie credit default swaps?

lol

[jmowreader]

24. Works for me...

In some Arab countries they have the concept of the temporary marriage. You pay a sum of money to a woman to serve as your wife for a period of a few hours.

[Warpy]

5. Some people think the constitution exists

to protect their rights to go through life without ever being offended by anyone else.

It's just the opposite, the Bill of Rights ensuring that no majority has the right to suppress a minority of any type.

I think the billboard is hilarious. Any woman who's gone through her 40s watching all the available men chasing girls 20 years younger can relate to it.

Concerned moms need to bugger off. Protecting their kids from the world isn't their job. Raising them to be healthy enough to deal with the world is their job.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

35. Exactly

I have often said, why does the entire world need to be sanitized for 2-year-old consumption? Maybe if parents actually TALKED to their children, instead of expecting everyone else to bend to their Puritanical priggishness, we wouldn't have the outrageous amount of sexual dysfunction that we have in this country.

[KittyWampus]

6. oh, I think it can involve a cute little pink bunny

IYKWIM

[redqueen]

15. Or purple.

O8)

[Bluebear]

7. God said that sex should repulse, unless it leads to results.

Mass - Leonard Bernstein

[ladywnch]

9. what a brilliant piece of work that was..... n/t

[Bluebear]

11. Oh, indeed.

A masterpiece seldom seen anymore. Glad to run into a fan!

[ladywnch]

32. yeah, I'm gonna have to see if I can find a new copy of it

the one I've had for years I recorded from vinyl I got from the library so it has scratches and noise on it. I wonder if it is still available somehwere.

[Echo In Light]

8. Another pinched up fundie hoping to impose a warped belief system

[Goldstein1984]

10. That's about the most offensive thing I've ever read

I feel so, so disrespected.

ALERT! ALERT! UNREC! UNREC!...Can I get more unrecs over here!?!?!?

MODERATORS!?!?!?!?

I demand a TS for this DUer!!!

:sarcasm:

Of course, you're correct on so many levels.

[readmoreoften]

12. As if married heterosexuals don't use cucumbers.

Especially on the man. (Just keepin' it real.)

[eShirl]

13. me to Concerned Mom: Then what are "marital aids?" n/t

[TZ]

14. You mean something like this?

[FiveGoodMen]

16. "allowed" -- "land of the ..."

Which is it?

[Rhiannon12866]

17. K&R!

:fistbump:

[xfundy]

18. SEX IS DIRTY!!1!!1!1

Save it for someone you love!!!11!!

[Initech]

20. Good thing it's a cucumber, I hear sex with dill pickles is dangerous.

[L0oniX]

31. Ass carrots are safe too.

[Blue Owl]

21. Sex is legal. Selling is legal.

But selling sex is illegal.

-- George Carlin

[retread]

22. "stop vegetable abuse" A sex shop? Ohhh I get it. I thought it was a billboard for a

steak house!

[damntexdem]

23. But can they legally use cucumbers?

Why didn't the mom on TV answer the important question? ;-)

[MerryBlooms]

25. Coming soon to a bumper near you - depending on your stance -

No Cukes!

Say NO To Cukelear Power!

Vegetarianism Rocks My World!

Nubby and Pesticide-Free For Her Pleasure!

[Kurt_and_Hunter]

26. what if your stance is wide?

[MerryBlooms]

27. Sweet Gerkins. n/t

.

[undeterred]

29. People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables

are against human on cucumber sex.

[niyad]

33. if the man and woman are married to other people, is it still legal?

[ChoppinBroccoli]

34. This Story Hits A Nerve With Me

The 21st Century Puritans have recently come out of the woodwork to express outrage at a new "Adult Store" that opened in the town where I grew up (and it's actually just over the hill from where my parents still live). Not only are they offended that the store would have the audacity to have a SIGN (gasp!) that has the word "Adult" on it (Shock! Horror!), but they're actually petitioning the City Council to change the zoning regulations so they can put this shop out of business. So much for free market capitalism, right? And individual liberties? How about keeping "the gubmint" out of your lives?

Here's a link to the story (and feel free to leave a comment afterwards, as well).

http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2010/01/19/story-mansfield-neighbors-protesting-adultmart.html?sid=102