BBC: Bear kills militants in Kashmir

[BurtWorm]

I know this is awful, but I can't wait to hear what Stephen Colbert has to say about it:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8339549.stm



By Altaf Hussain
BBC News, Srinagar


A Himalayan black bear strolls in Dachigam National Park, 25kms from Srinagar, on Oct 16, 2009
The bear population has grown in Kashmir in recent times




A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants were armed with AK-46s but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

[onehandle]

1. He will likely not address it.

After that woman was savaged by that chimp a while back, he stopped doing his 'monkey on the lamb' bit all together.

He's usually looking for lighter stories.

[leveymg]

2. OMG - Russians in Kashmir?!!!! Militants armed with AK-46s?!!!

That sounds like an uneven battle. Must have been a very early version Kalashnikov.

[sarge43]

3. Teeth and claws like straight razors, fighting weight 500lbs plus, bad 'tude vs AK-46

No contest

[leveymg]

4. I know. My dog has nearly the same armament. And, she likes to jump up and paw me

whenever we're getting ready for a walk. Good thing she likes me.

[sarge43]

7. If they ever decide to gang up on us .....

[Sal Minella]

16. Actually I think it's the little tiny guys who will gitterdun . . .

the ones who can mutate through several generations of internal defenses while we get one night's sleep.

And they have already decided to gang up on us, and they consider the hurdles erected by Big Pharma to be barely a bump on their path.

[sarge43]

19. Good point and they got the numbers, too.

Just finished reading a book about The Black Death. When tiny guys go to no prisoners mode, not good.

[Sal Minella]

5. I just cannot imagine anybody being stupid enough to try to commandeer a

bear's den. Double Darwin here at least.

[sarge43]

6. Kissing cousins to tourists who think The White Mountain National Forest

is a petting zoo.

Once heard one (honest) say to offspring, "Oh look at the cute moosie, Junior. Go on over there so Daddy can get a picture of you and him." This was foliage season when bull moose have lovin' on their minds and perceive everything other than cow moose as a threat or challenge.

Yes, I did listen to my better angel and informed tourist that wasn't a good idea. Surprisingly, he did take the counsel of a mere native.

Quite likely those militants were city types and had no idea what they were camping in. Speaking of surprises.

[XemaSab]

10. Yeah, like the people who come to California and say

"Let's get a picture of the baby sitting on that elephant seal!"

[sarge43]

11. That Jubba the Hut bull seal - yeah that will end well. n/t

[underseasurveyor]

29. When I lived in Colorado it was..

Honey go stand by that big pretty deer (bull elk) and let me get a picture of the two of you

[snagglepuss]

8. Hmm. Where have I heard this story before? I think there are lots of assumptions

like assuming the "pudding" was made by the intruders.

[Sal Minella]

18. I'm not following you -- are you implying that the BEAR made the pudding

and left it in his den as bait to lure in lunch???

[Nikki Stone1]

9. That bear was subcontracted by the Indian intelligence.

[placton]

12. CIA operative Bear? n/t

[TexasObserver]

13. It's the right to keep and arm bears.

[JonQ]

14. #1 threat

[Taverner]

15. Awesome! I hope he eats all the militants over there

And when he's done, he can go to Israel and have double helpings of Hamas and the IDF...

[Sal Minella]

17. Sounds good. Where can I send a donation for air travel?

[proteus_lives]

26. Eating terrorists I can understand.....

But why do you want men and women defending their country (IDF) to die?

[Taverner]

27. Because the IDF is not defending their country when they retaliate by mowing down civilians

IDF, Hamas, Fatah, they're all angry terrorists seeing red

There are no "good" guys there just like there are no "good" guys in Kashmir

Just a bunch of brutes with weapons

[TwilightGardener]

20. 4 men with AK's couldn't defend themselves against one bear?

Most incompetent militants EVER!

[sarge43]

22. Bears only look clumsy and slow.

When they choose to be they're stealthy, very fast and extraordinarily strong.

Several possibilities: The guys were asleep, attention on something else, pieces field stripped or unloaded, AKs out of arm's reach, cave too cramped for them move quickly. As noted they were probably urban types. Had no idea what bears can do, will do.

Bears aren't deer. Unless you get a straight shot to the head or chest, they will keep coming until they bleed out. Like Mongo wounding them just makes them mad. Even if one guy had AK ready to go, no guarantee he'd get lucky.

One swipe of that paw can open a human like a sardine can. One snap of that jaw can remove an arm. There's a reason that with exception of their own they have no natural enemies; they're bad news when they're pissed. So yeah, an AK isn't much use if you have only one arm or half your face left and you running blood like a shower head.

Bear probably rushed them and got the two in about 2 to 3 seconds and then took pieces out of third. Unless fourth guy was a harden combat vet, that may have been the most horrific experience of his life. Normal reaction when faced with something like that is for the brain in one way or another to go bye-bye.

[Sal Minella]

24. I dearly hope this is the most graphic thing I read today.

Long ago I lived in a little log cabin in the Oregon woods (the running water was in the creek behind) and when the cabin would be bumped in the night, we would find fresh black bear scat around the blackberry bushes in the morning.

They were his blackberries. All of them.

[sarge43]

25. Sorry for the graphic, but a gun doesn't automatically mean you're going to win.

Every so often an urban Great White Hunter wannabe stomps around in the woods and finds this out the hard way.

We have a 1200 volt electric fence around the bee hives and a 9K hooked up to the bird feeder which gets their attention - just, but our local black bears, Fertile Myrtle and her every year two cubs, are more than welcome to the wild raspberries. All of them.

[Freddie Stubbs]

21. Probably after their picnic baskets

[Ganja Ninja]

23. Just thank God bears don't have nuclear weapons. n/t

[TexasObserver]

28. Interesting Factoid: "Kashmir" means "Jellystone"

[depakid]

30. Free delivery- and pudding for dessert!

Yum.