Should there not be an official ceremony to launch the annual War on Christmas?

[saltpoint]

The thing is, I never know when it's officially on, and I worry that I'll miss it.

Are there like, greeeting cards or something you can buy to send? I'll need sets for both private citizens and local businesses.

With catchy slogans and artwork, of course.

And not least, a 2-hour Panel show on Larry King Live featuring the more prominent secular humanists would be good to schedule, with a view toward asserting the LIBERAL MEDIA's stranglehold over Christ's Kingdom.

As well, there should be a War on Christmas flag people can stick on their cars to rev up for the anti-Christmas crusade, much like regional NFL flags can be ordered for various teams' fans' vans and cars, etc.

[sam sarrha]

1. arm bands identifying each side would simplify who to hate..

[saltpoint]

2. Yes. And it would offer an opportunity for some company to

mass-produce them.

:hi:

[sam sarrha]

4. yea, china could make'm cheap..!!

[SpiralHawk]

5. The socialists have a plan to Force Tattoo the pros and the cons

I have obtained a copy of the preliminary design for the anti-Christmas Secular Candy Cane Tattoo which will be used to identify heathens.

[stuball111]

3. Curious...

What part of Christmas is the war about? If it's the corporate stranglehold on consumers, and the endless commercials, then I am all for it. (I'm Canadian, and am not up to speed on this... enlighten me?)

[saltpoint]

7. Hi, stuball111. The fundamentalist Christian community, mostly in

the United States, in recent years has accused _________ of waging a War on Christmas. I leave the noun blank because I of course don't SEE any such war. I think they mean the media or secular humanists or atheists or agnostics or Unitarians or Jackson Browne or whoever you think might be LIBERAL.

They suggest that it is part of an ongoing "war" or assault on the traditional set-aside holiday of Christmas, manifest by groups objecting to Christmas trees in public squares and greeting cards with generic phrases such as "Season's Greetings," which they feel slights their preferred cards with Christian greetings.

It is true that in Cincinnati or Baltimore or Denver we now mostly hear "Frosty the Snowman" in drug stores and retail shops instead of "Good King Wencelslas" and other traditional Christian-themed carols.

All the same, it is fake outrage and I'm posting a tongue-in-cheek notion.

[stuball111]

9. I vaguely remember seeing this last year, passing by O'Rielly on the TV machine...

Before I realized what a kook he was. And thought it kinda nuts, and came to the conclusion that it was just as you described. A right wing term blowing facts out of proportion, and a typical fundie attitude of intolerance to other peoples rights and beliefs, while trying to cram theirs down peoples throats. So the "war" is their label... I see...and thus the tongue in cheek from our side. I have no objection to trees, as long as they are not killed just for a decoration.

We always had trees, then my Dad realized what a pain it was, and how ridiculous it was to chop down a perfectly good tree, and went out and bought a fake one. To this day, I will only put up my 8 inch battery operated plastic tree at Christmas, and when I was married and had a family, we only played Hawaiian music at Christmas. Put us in a tropical mood in an otherwise dreary, cold season. That or Elvis. I spend some time reflecting to the "peace on Earth" theme, and reflect on who's coming is being celebrated, but the commercialism makes me sick.

It's up to the individual to decide how far they want to take Christmas, but the "far right loons" can't seem to grasp that.:shrug:

[laststeamtrain]

6. There should be a ceremony, a ritual event.

I propose The Buggering Of The O'Reilly.

It involves shepherds in a manger & hard-hitting, rough, tough TV news commentator dude Bill O'Reilly & ... anyway ...

[Soylent Brice]

10. O'Reilly Buggering... i follow ya, but who the fuck would volunteer for that?

:shrug:

[LiberalEsto]

13. Rush, perhaps?

Or is O'Leilly too old for him?

[Soylent Brice]

17. or perhaps Phlegm Blech?

[Dr. Strange]

8. I don't know, saltpoint.

I'm starting to feel that we're ruining the spirit of the war on Christmas by all this commercialization, you know?

And it used to be that the war on Christmas would start in December. Then it was November. Now it's still September and we're already talking about it. We really need a speech by Linus to remind us just what this war on Christmas is really all about.

[Soylent Brice]

12. .

:rofl:

[LiberalEsto]

14. It should start on Talk Like a Pirate Day

Sept. 19.

Arrrrh.

[saltpoint]

19. Dr. Strange, I know your heart is in the right place on Linus, and I

hate to break the news to ya, but Linus has taken a cushy job on K Street.

It's true.

He's got his blanet and his thumb and there he is up on some top floor of a swank firm.

I hated to see him go. He was very impressive as a contemplative. I guess everybody has their price -- even cartoon figures.

[Creena]

20. Lowes started it.

There I was this weekend, buying out their supply of ant baits and...BOOM...Christmas paraphernalia. It's so on.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

11. Down at the local VHW

Veteran's of Holiday Wars.

Edit: Come to think of it, does that qualify me for VA benefits?

[NoPasaran]

15. It seems the War On Christmas starts earlier and earlier every year

Witch and Skeleton costumes on display for the kids, secular music in all the stores...

[xfundy]

16. I would LOVE to have some way of celebrating the war on xmas

Just to get the sneering glares of the old ladies outside the beauty parlor. (And did they waste their money in there or what?)

[LiberalEsto]

18. Let's get bazookas

and blast Baby Jesuses in nativity scenes

[grantcart]

21. Do we get a parade?

[saltpoint]

24. LOL! I think a parade would be almost mandatory.

Something like the Macy's Thanksgiving gig in New York, only with cartoon figures of agnostics and rock stars and so forth.

[grantcart]

26. Well something between Macy's, Gay Pride and Mardi Gras

[saltpoint]

27. LOL!

[Iggo]

22. Yes.

[Touchdown]

23. Every year I do my part. I dress up as Santa...

go to the local playground. I then wait for all the kids to gather around me, then I fake a heart attack.:D

I got in the paper once.:thumbsup:

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

25. O'Reilly is having his vibrator painted military olive drab, with Christmas scenes on it

getting ready for war. Probably the same vibrator he used while sexually harrassing producer Andrea Mackris on the telephone. Count 81 of Mackris' complaint against the big O for sexual harrassment:


81. During the course of Defendant BILL O'Reilly's sexual rant, it became clear that he was using a vibrator on himself, and that he ejaculated. Plaintiff was repulsed.