A white woman's take on nappy hair

[hedgehog]

I'm Irish and so white I glow in the dark. A lot of my relatives have kinky hair. My sister's high school years were agony because she didn't have the long straight hair that was de rigeur at the time. It was kinky, and there was no way she was going to wear it long and have it lie flat. Two of my daughters has straight hair, one has curly hair and the fourth has hair just this side of kinky. It grows out long but into fantastic ringlets. It is kinky along the brows.

Some kids ask my daughter why she doesn't straighten her hair. She's proud enough and confident enough to keep it natural. She knows it is gorgeous. She owes that to all the African-American women who said enough is enough and that there is more than one way to be beautiful.

I have two mixed race nieces. One has hair that's straighter than my daughter's. The other has kinky hair. It is incredibly soft and wonderful. I hope she will always keep it natural and take care of it to show it off with pride.

Any suggestion that nappy hair is bad is an attack on all of us beautiful women who don't fit into some sort of current fashion standard.

[knowbody0]

1. me too

and I have always preferred nappy to pubic as an ajective for my mane.

[hippiechick]

2. ... a book I got for HippieKid when she was younger ...

:hi:

[AZBlue]

39. That looks like a fantastic book!!!

Good for kids of all ages!

[tblue]

3. Imus has no business talking about anybody's hair, of all things.

You are adorable, hedgehog!:loveya:

[mzmolly]

4. Nicole Kidman has the beautiful red kinky hair you speak of.

:hi:

[stellanoir]

5. I'm Celtic as well.

Though I have really straight fine hair. The thing that's always cracked me up about most of the women friends I have is that all those with straight hair wish for natural curls. All the curly haired women I know (including some Afro Americans) wish for straight hair.

The ones who seem most at peace are the Afro Americans who keep it in dreads. So go figure.

I'm just stating my observations not commenting on anything more silly than how so many simply want what they don't have.

I had never heard of this racial slur before last week.

[volstork]

6. Vive la difference!

What if everyone in the world looked alike? And what if we all looked like imus?

By Gerard Manley Hopkins, on the beauty of diversity:

13. Pied Beauty


GLORY be to God for dappled things—
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough; 5
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: 10
Praise him.

[Catherine Vincent]

7. Thanks for sharing your take on kinky hair.

I am sure you are proud of your daughters, especially the confident one!

"so white I glow in the dark" LOL!

[JNelson6563]

8. I'm Irish and I can relate

My "wild Irish hair" is just that, wild. I can have silky, shiney hair with much work (heat, product). Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Frankly I think all kinds of hair can be beautiful. I'm sad for those who hold narrower views as they are likely missing out on appreciating all sorts of beauty in the world besides just the human hair kind.

Julie

[Colobo]

9. "Nappy hair" is known as "pelo malo" (Bad hair) in Puerto Rico

I'm a guy, and even I tried to use a hair texturizer in my high school years to make my hair look "straighter" because I was mocked by my classmates. :(

I've learned to accept and love my blackness gradually since I moved over here.

[AspenRose]

17. Look to Maxwell, mi hermano

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maxwell_%28musician%29





Since I grew up around Mexican-Americans, I heard similar comments. Like equating kinky hair with pubic hair (!) and having Mexicans frown on dating Puerto Ricans out of fear of marriage, children and "the kids might have THAT hair."

Be proud to be Boriqua, and black! :hug:

[MadHound]

10. Yeah, I'm a white boy, Celtic roots, with that kinky, nappy hair

Or at least what's left of it as I've grown older and balder. When I was younger I didn't like it because cut short it just went all over the place, so I decided to grow it long. I hit a a point where I had a huge 'fro going before weight and length made it collapse into long ringlets that I kept up until just last fall(going into teaching, had to look "respectable") Now I've cut it short again and it's done the fringe frizz thing, which is OK.

My sister was always mad that I was the one who got the curly hair while hers wound up dead drop straight. When we were younger I would have gladly traded her because curly hair was a pain to take care of, but I've grown to love my hair over the years. Only thing now is I wish I had more of it:shrug:

[peacetalksforall]

11. Today's world.

Yesterday's world:
Pick a point in time within this country -
Irish villified and targeted with hate.

Pick another point in time within this country -
Scots, Brits, and Irish were predominant slave holders.

Another point in time within this country -
Hate planned, launched, and maintained against Hispanics from Latin America and Muslims, even citizen Muslims who have lived there entire life here.

We rotate targets.
But Black-Americans as a target exist in perpetuity in this country.

With some exceptions of progress.

Hope there is more from this latest.

Everyone has to want to do something.

I loved your story. Your blessed.

[Sequoia]

12. Blessed are those with nappy/curly hair.

Myth has it that hair like that is like an antenna to the mystic universe. People with straight hair or no hair get no signals from the higher power. See here:


The words, SPIN, SPIRAL, and SPIRITUAL have common roots! The Supreme Power spins; spirals; it is spiritual. It moves or spirals the universe! The entire universe dances in spirals and rotations; everything in it reflects the “SPIRaling, SPIRitual” essence out of which it is made! The “SPIRal,” especially the Golden Spiral, is simultaneously the most profound motion and design in the universe -built into all life forms, from seashelss to man, to spiraling nappy hair! Your blood spirals through your veins! Plants spiral up from the soil! And nappy hair spirals out from the hair roots! Ball your hand into a fist and slowly extend each finger.

Did Jesus have dreadlocks?

Jesus was a Nazarite: a vow of Nazarites was to never cut his hair but “let the locks of the hair of his head grow.” (Nm. 6:2,5, Lev. 19:27; 21:5) The word Nazarite is from nazar, meaning unshorn. Woolly nappy hair, if simply washed & dried but never combed or brushed, will naturally entwine into long locks as it grows. Samson, the most famous example of locked hair, had seven locks. (Jg. 13:5, 16:17,19)

Hair is a really antenna that can receive and transmit energy! A Rastafarian explains that dreadlocks are a quality of Black people; they “are high-tension wires,” which transmits divine energy and inspiration from Jah , the creator, to Rasta, the mirror.” (Nicholas/Sparrow: Rastafarian -A Way of Life) As Blacks awaken to true self-knowledge and self-acceptance this brings, the negative racist conditioning with respect to their natural spiraling, nappy hair as “bad” and straighter hair as “good” will cease!

http://www.africanholocaust.net/html_ah/black%20out%20white%20wash.htm

I might add that Crazy Horse also had wavy hair and his name as a child was "Curly". I have wavy hair but by no means am I devine. One day I walked through the mall by a kiosk where a guy came running up to me with a bottle of goo and said the product will straighten out my curls. I said, no way.

[Beaverhausen]

13. Way to miss the point. He wasn't actually commenting on their hair

He was using two phrases which are traditional racist and sexist put-downs.

And yes everyone, he made a sexist remark. 'HO' is not a compliment.

[Morgana LaFey]

24. Yeah, I think the poster meant well but

there is a sea -- an ocean, if you will -- of difference between the two types of nappy hair involved, too (and most of that difference has to do with the color of the skin under it).

Ahhh, there it is: what else bothers me about the OP is the underlying dismissiveness, which ALWAYS serves to suppport the original racism/sexism, however unintentionally.

[hedgehog]

27. I didn't mean to dismiss the racism of Imus's statement.

I meant to praise the beauty of nappy hair and to praise the black women who took a stand against a standard that the only beaty is Nordic beauty. Imus's statement was wicked becasue it associated a physical characteristic (nappy hair) with a being a whore.

[Morgana LaFey]

32. Like I said, I think you meant well

but, honey, you missed -- big time. And your additional comment is testimony to how much you don't get it. Wish I had the time and energy to try to explain it to you. I don't.

[hedgehog]

35. Allow me to say this a different way.

Some white people do have nappy hair, although we're more likely to label it as bushy. While there are some who might wish for straighter or curlier hair, there are those whose hair is far enough from the standard that it is a daily problem. It's not quite racism, but what do you call it when someone is made to feel to be an outsider or less than equal because of the way they look? It's not always hair; sometimes it's the shape of the nose or some other distinctive ethnic feature. It may not be racism, but believe me, I've seen girls in agony when their features don't meet the Nordic standard.

When black women stood up to declare that nappy hair is beautiful, they liberated the rest of us. When Imus tries to force us to denigrate nappy hair, he's attacking all of us. Please note that I am not just talking about my daughter but also about my black nieces.

In all the arguements over Imus, I wanted to make sure people didn't forget that "nappy" isn't a derogatory term unless we make it one. Imus is a fool for not recognizing the beauty of nappy hair.

[JitterbugPerfume]

14. beauty is not just one way

of looking , and being

true beauty can be many things and "nappy" is beautiful.

[AspenRose]

15. Thank you

Once I had a college roomate from Taiwan....she wished she had my curly/kinky hair, because hers was straight and wouldn't hold a curl. Meanwhile, I was chemically relaxing my hair, trying to get it "bone straight" because that was the culturally accepted standard and ideal. That's wonderful that your daughter is proud of who she is. It's taken me over 30 years to come to terms with and accept my hair as beautiful, just the way it is.

[TahitiNut]

16. (unfuckingreal)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x646361

:eyes:

[The Count]

21. You ain't kidding! I want to hear a "white woman's perspective on "ho" now.

As we seem to need so badly to deconstruct this to death.

[B Calm]

18. All this talk about hair pisses me off! Sitting here wishing I had some

hair. Nappy, straight or curly... just something besides this ball cap to cover my bald head.

[Matariki]

29. but bald heads are *very* sexy.

really.

[The Count]

19. Are you saying that Imus meant to compliment the players?

If you're merely saying that you don't think it's a bad feature, I can only agree. But if you tell black women what words are offensive and what is not - not so much.
I am sure Imus has enough time on his hands now to call you nappy haired if that's what you like. Then all you need to ponder is "a white woman's perspective on "ho"

[hedgehog]

28. Imus's phrase associating nappy hair with being a whore was incredibly

offfensive. I was trying to affirm the beauty of nappy hair. I wish we all had a non-loaded word to describe nappy hair to properly recognize its beauty.

[bleedingheart]

20. I imagine that one day people will be happy who with they are and they will accept others too

and that day the bigots and the cosmetics industries will all cry...

by the way...I am of Northern and Southern European roots...I have naturally thick dark hair (in my youth it was a mix of black/brown/red)...however my entire childhood my mother lamented that she wished I had curly hair... My mother loved really curly hair...and I endured pin curl session after pin curl session and perm after perm...until one day I realized it wasn't for me that I was enduring it...it was because my mother thought tight ringlets were preferable to my own hair..

[asjr]

22. Had I learned in those early years that I already

had long, thick beautiful hair, I would not have resorted to those awful pin curls, especially sleeping on them. Today my hair is still thick but short and gray and like electrical wire. When I wake up in the mornings I either look like Woody Woodpecker or Woodstock. And some mornings I resemble a 1959 Chevy with "wings", but hey, I am still here and at this point in my life I do not care what it looks like.

[Hepburn]

23. I have incredibly straight hair....

...I mean to the point when I was a kid in the 1950's and my mom would try and set it with bobby pins in pin curls ~~ my freaking hair sprang the bobby pins.

I would give ANYTHING for hair with some wave or something to it. Guess we are NEVER happy with what we have. I cannot even wear short hair cuz I look like a freak with this hair that will NOT do anything but go totally straight. So I have VERY long hair which I wear anchored to keep it in place. And, yeah, it still springs bobby pins! What I would give for hair that does SOMETHING...ANYTHING! Thank gawd for the 60s when the kind of hair I had was in style for a lot of the time! LOL...I think that is the ONLY thing which saved me from shaving my head was that I could let it hang long and straight and free.

Ummmmm....and don't say perm to me ~~ the tiniest rollers don't even seem to give it much curl. Never worked. Apparently my hair has a mind of its own...kinda like its owner I would say! LOL

[Raine]

33. I do too

it is straight as a string and absolutely nothing I do to it will make it hold a curl or give it body. :-(

[Morgana LaFey]

25. This thread is an embarassment

Your OP was quite bad enough -- but the others who had to pile on in their absolutely clueless way --

aaargh

[Hamlette]

26. thank you....a tad shocking actually

kinky hair that hangs in ringlets isn't CLOSE to the problem.

It is NOT a fashion issue, it is NOT an issue about having the self esteem to let your hair be curly instead of straightening it.

Buy a couple of vowels.

[hedgehog]

30. I think you are missing a point here.

Beauty standards are not a problem just for black women. When a single standard of beauty exists, every woman is measured against it regardless of race. For black women, the focus was on hair texture. As I noted in my original post and several others confirmed, a lot of white women have suffered over the years for not having "good" hair. For a lot of us ethnic white women, the focus was on body type. Going by BMI, back in high school I was on the edge of being underweight. I was short and not built like a model, so for years I thought I was overweight! Some of my friends today have buxom Mediterranean builds. They're not fat, but they have a hard time accepting their bodies because they aren't shaped like models.

Some aspects of racism focus on denigrating physical characteristics. Imus's statement was racist. What we women with ethnic features and body types are fighting is a more subtle form of racism. In order to be "American", we are pressured to straighten our hair, straighten or bob our noses, force our bodies into shapes they were never meant to be. Part of fighting racism is claiming the right to be what we are and not feeling forced to fit into a standard mold.

As an aside, I also wanted to affirm the beauty of nappy hair.

[ikojo]

31. Half Irish here and I have very curly hair

My mama is of Jewish ancestry so that doesn't help either.

I am the only one who LOVES my curls...my sisters hate their hair.

Curls rule!

[Cha]

34. Stevie Wonder has

"nappy headed boy" as some of his lyrics(sorry don't remember the song)from many years ago.

It's great..just not coming outta the mouth of imus in conjunction with "HOs" over our airwaves.

[bliss_eternal]

36. lol--hedgehog...

...why do the Irish do this? Describe themselves as so white they glow in the dark?

OMG...:spray:
(says the woman with the tall, Irish husband that describes himself that way all too frequently. Really, you guys aren't THAT white. lol)He doesn't glow in the dark, and I doubt you do either. ;)


Your neices sound SO gorgeous, as does your daughter's hair--I absolutely adore curly hair of all types and textures! :hi:

[hedgehog]

40. "Glow in the dark "is such a nicer phrase than

"fish belly white"

We are reflective, my kids bounce the tv remote signal off each other rather than point directly at the TV.

[kwassa]

37. I wouldn't describe your hair as nappy.

Thick, dense ringlets are not nappy, as the curl isn't remotely as tight as that of most African-Americans.

I've never seen any white person's hair that I would describe as nappy or kinky. Not even close, IMHO, and I've seen all the ethnic "fros", so to speak.

[AZBlue]

38. Well said! Note to some idiots out there: "No, actually we don't all want to look like Barbie."

But thanks.

K&R