Breaking: All WH Staff Computers Using RNC Email Servers Spontaneously Combust! LOL

[Blackhatjack]

And the RNC servers have remarkably been wiped clean of WH staff emails.

RNC spokesperson commented " WHo could have imagined that this would happen?"

According to a White House spokesman: "Spontaneous combustion fires at the White House were quickly put out, but not soon enough to prevent all the harddrives from being melted. It is just a shame it happened, and we won't be able to turn over those hard drives to the Congressional Investigative Committees for recovery of lost emails. WHo could have imagined this happening?"

[C_U_L8R]

1. They must be using Dells

[lovuian]

2. Kaboom its like Enron shredders running all night

but I want names at who used the DELETE button they are using the same Enron bull we were just housecleaning Leahy and oops they are gone

[Double T]

3. Coincidence??? Not even bush's 'ALMIGHTY' is going to believe that one.

[Blackhatjack]

5. UPDATE: White House traces spontaneous combustion fires to Dem Congressional Investigators..

White House spokesperson: "We thought it was very suspicious that all of these computer hard drives were destroyed by spontaneous combustion right after the Democratic Congressional Investigators asked for emails from those devices. We don't know for sure, but we find it highly unlikely that these computers would burst into flames just as we are attempting to comply with their requests. Some staffers have indicated that it was an intentional scheme by Dem Congressional Investigators to prevent White House staffers from showing that there was nothing incriminating in those lost emails. But now we will never be able to prove that .... what a shame."

[Double T]

6. Teams from CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, CSI: Vegas and NCSI are assembling.........

and will catch the red eye to Washington, D.C. this evening. THEY will resurrect the criminal email information from those smoldering hard drives by sunset tomorrow. Case Solved.

[Javaman]

12. Further update:

Democratic House Majority leader stated today: "We are completely appalled by the republican allegations. Through our investigations we have found that a strict no smoking policy was violated. From this point forward all the cigars will be taken away from republican chimpanzees when working on computers."

[Double T]

9. Self delete.

[Snotcicles]

4. Disappear in wheel barrel loads and large burlap bags like

Iraq reconstruction funds.

[ck4829]

7. Breaking news: All important papers "just fell" into paper shredders

[HCE SuiGeneris]

8. Other Breaking News: Condi and Cheney contract severe laryngitis

effectively disabling them from any outside communication through Jan. 2009

[Blackhatjack]

10. The First thing we did was call the shredding service to help us with this problem...

Witnesses noticed that the large Shredding Company truck seen earlier at the residence of Dick Cheney arrived at the White House, emerged with several large containers and drove away.

Representative for the Shredding Company: "We were notified of an emergency at the White House, we sent our guys out but there was nothing left to shred when we got there. Those computers were fried. A fellow named Karl asked if we could help them and remove the remains of the computers to a location near the airport --so we said ok. Last we saw of them, they were loaded on pallets on planes departing for Iraq. But most importantly, we don't ask questions and we got paid."

[Blackhatjack]

11. WH Update: Leahy is under investigation for conspiracy to damage White House computers

White House Spokesperson: "WE have traced the origin of the spontaneous combustion fires to the doorstep of Pat Leahy. Upon a tip from VP Cheney, who said he has remained neutral in this matter, we called one of our US Attorneys to look into this and he has opened a wide ranging investigation of the Leahy Investigatory Committee."

"We know the White House has been truthful and forthcoming in this matter, and it is shameful that a Democratic Congressional Committee Chairman would engage in this type of criminal conduct. We expect indictments soon."