Make your own fake Kenyan birth certificate!

[EarlG]

After observing the hilarity over on Free Republic today I thought it was unfair for Oily Taters to have all the fun, so I put together a blank "Kenyan birth certificate" for everyone to play with.

Either download the blank form here, print it, and then fill out the form with a typewriter (if you can find one), or open this image in an image editing application and fill it out with a typewriter font, then print.

Take a picture and show us your birth certificates! I'm afraid this photo is bad because the light in here isn't good enough for a pic on my phone (I'll take a better one in the morning), but you may be able to make out that this document proves Prince Charles was born in Kenya. The form has been signed by Deputy Registrar William H. Macy.



Don't forget to give it some authentic looking folds!

[Mrs. Overall]

1. Brilliant! This is great!

K & R!

[misha trotsky]

152. my authentic Kenyan BC

I am most proud of being born in Kenya. The souk is fascinating. If I may have your indulgence, please peruse this certificate here.

We are most proud to have a son of Kenya as your president. The denizens of your country are most fortunate.

[Quantess]

159. Nice!

Welcome to DU!
:hi:

[misha trotsky]

163. I have posted my cat's Kenyan BC

Take a look: http://newyorkleftist.blogspot.com

[merh]

2. K&R

and :rofl:

[NYC_SKP]

3. YAY! I can't wait to see some of the creations... posted in this thread.

Thanks!

:applause:

[MrMickeysMom]

4. Oh, God, this is great!

I can't wait to see the reaction. It'll be just like watching a re-run of "Idiocracy" !!!11111!!

Thanks, EarlG!

[Blumpy]

156. Sorta

Yeah if Idiocracy had a bunch of closeted racists with lots of free time to make forgeries and come up with very wild accusations.

[WeDidIt]

5. BWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


:rofl:

[tabatha]

6. Oily Taters is the best name for her. Excellent.

[johnaries]

12. Has it been added to the DU Dictionary, yet?

it's right up there with Hugh Moran and morels.

[Arkana]

13. I just call her "Oily Taint".

[Cheap_Trick]

35. me too

[Fearless]

44. I just died a little.

:rofl:

[CatWoman]

7. you're just fucking evil

:rofl:

[Skittles]

9. I APPROVE

yes INDEED :thumbsup:

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

8. Heh.

Reminds me of Wonkette's messing with McCain's website back during the "Joe the Plumber" episode. McCain's website had this form that you could fill out, that was supposed to provide you with a graphic for a poster - "I am _____ the _____. Don't tax me!" Or some such.

You can imagine where this went.

I believe the editors' faviourite was "I am Walnuts the Fucktard."

[Bennyboy]

99. Or Romney and his kids caption contest.......

The captions were pretty hliarious there too....

[johnaries]

10. And that is why I love this place so much. K&R!

[cliffordu]

11. HAhA hAHaH AHAH AH HA aH aHAH aH AH AH aH aH ah

Completely off the hook....

:rofl:

[ohheckyeah]

14. I seldom hit the rec button

but I have to say RECOMMEND. Too, too funny!

[cliffordu]

15. K&R!!!!

[niceypoo]

16. Whip up a batch for these guys...

and watch their heads explode

[whoneedstickets]

21. don't forget Condi, Colin Powell and Clarence Thomas

The blatant racism of the birther claim may become obvious, even to them, when every one of their own black leadership is implicated.

[Fearless]

57. Rush Limbaugh...

[LuckyLib]

121. Occupation: asshat. LOL!

[dmr]

130. Signed by John Yoo-Hoo!

I love it!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[BumRushDaShow]

80. Must not leave out Armstrong Williams!

And watch the :nuke:

:rofl:

[slackmaster]

17. Best BC thread evar!

K&R

:kick:

[pinto]

18. Yuk, yuk yuk!

:thumbsup:

[NYC_SKP]

19. THIS JUST IN!!! OMG!!!

First one in, not very authentic but, hey... none of them are.



:hi:

[BooBluePotion]

26. I'm gonna wake the pups laughing at that masterpiece

Is that bird seal original or crispy? !!1!! :)

[cliffordu]

29. HAHaha ah HAhaHAH aH aH

That seal is prolly impossible to forge.

:rofl:

[NYC_SKP]

31. Hey, the backward rooster pointing "thattaway" is unique and inimitable!

:P

[graywarrior]

70. OMG

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Mnemosyne]

111. Please! At my age the bladder is getting weaker! Almost forgot - KnR!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Uzybone]

160. LMAO

[myrna minx]

20. I love it.

:rofl:

[K8-EEE]

22. The authentic looking folds (um, who folds up a BC?) def fooled at least one freep!

Did anybody see the guy who was like "I'VE HAD A PIECE OF PAPER IN MY WALLET FOLDED UP FOR 6 YEARS AND THE FOLDS LOOKS JUST LIKE THAT!"

Oh I can't wait to make my very own authentic Kenyan BC! Thanks!

[SleeplessInAlabama]

65. Not to be, um, ya know, a freeper but

My birth certificate is folded into thirds....

[TygrBright]

23. Dude, you are SO evil. I love it. n/t

[noamnety]

24. I think I did it wrong

I tried filling one out, and now it turns out my cat was born in Kenya!

[Buzz Clik]

78. It's gonna suck to be you. They're going to quarantine your cat.

[proud patriot]

25. Brilliant

LOL I just got back from reading that thread at free republic :rofl:

[AspenRose]

27. Oh, man.

:rofl:

[DainBramaged]

28. Here

[Number23]

30. Yep. Without the folds, it ain't real

Gotta have the folds...

ETA: Was I the first person on DU to call this chick Oily Taters?? http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=8193927#8196484 Surely that had to occur to someone else first??!

[stuball111]

32. Freepers find post!

To: Jim Robinson; Fred Nerks; null and void; stockpirate; george76; PhilDragoo; Candor7; BP2; ...

Am I allowed to post this? Check it out (don’t click on it if you are easily offended):

Warning...DU wanting members to create fake BC’s

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6205189


I saw what was going on here and went in there to see their reaction and found this post there! The dumb fucks! Man did I have a laff, but the stupid thing was, even after all that, that it was a fake, there was STILL people who wanted to phone up funking Kenya and find out for sure! They will just hang on to any thread won't they! I was bowled over by the stupidity! And I hope it was somebody here that planted that forgery! Yes indeedee,, a freeper would believe you if you told him he left town an hour ago! I truly know that for a fact now :rofl:

[Jim Lane]

64. The Freeper thread exulting over the fake: 4,716 posts

Here's . I wonder if 4,716 posts is a record for the Freakshow.

I haven't read more than a handful of the, uh, contributions. To my surprise, one of the few that I read, because it was at the top of the last page (#4701), actually suggested that the writer might have a few functioning neurons:

This is completely nuts. Over 4600 posts to a thread which begins with nothing but yet another in a long parade of evidence-free claims that some self-promoter has come up with “proof” that Obama is not eligible to be POTUS! Did any of the 9/11 threads even get this long?

I really worry about the direction FR is heading in. There’s nowhere near this much interest in Obama’s health care proposal, which is 100% real and could do serious and irreparable harm to our nation.

Credit the Freeper who posts as "GovernmentShrinker" with outthinking his or her colleagues.... OK, that's damning with faint praise, but it's something. (There aren't even any misspelled words. The post misuses "which" (it introduces a restrictive clause, so the word should have been "that"), but that error is so common these days that I'd have to let it slide.)

On edit: My count is already inaccurate. In about half an hour they added 45 more posts. They're now up to 4,761. Skinner, could we have a pool on when they'll hit 5,000? Free DU t-shirt to the winner?

[Hissyspit]

74. Exactly what direction is Freeperville going ...?

...that it hasn't gone toward in the past? Toward racist inarticulate illogical nutjobbery? How is that a new direction?

"Serious and irreparable harm!" Unlike the the serious and irreparable harm done by the health insurance industry, or by the Bush crime syndicate...? Must be nice to be able to ignore all the corpses.

[Jim Lane]

76. You're right, it's not a new direction, but they're going there with remarkable zeal

The birther thread has now passed 4,900 posts.

As for health care, yes, it's an article of faith on FR that Obama's bill is socialized medicine (hah, I wish!). The public option is a Trojan horse, aimed solely at destroying the private insurance companies and bringing all doctors under the government yoke. Federal bureaucrats will control every aspect of health care in America. People all across Canada are horrified by their socialized system.

And, of course, that's just their nutjobbery on birtherism and health care. It doesn't stop there. Obama won the election by using hundreds of millions of dollars in illegal campaign contributions from abroad. ACORN will conduct the 2010 census and will facilitate the registration to vote of millions of illegal aliens (to add to the millions who illegally voted in 2008). Fortunately for the Republic, however, Obama's popularity is plummeting. Faced with the widespread revulsion against his blatant Marxism, the Democrats themselves will impeach him, to try to save themselves from the political ruin of going down with him. The Republicans will retake Congress in 2010 and elect Sarah Palin as President in 2012. (Not everything in this paragraph is part of the Freeper orthodoxy, but each of these views is fairly common there.)

Yup, same old direction, but pedal to the metal this time.

[texastoast]

82. I do hope they are dreaming

But not to underestimate the depths to which they plunge themselves for power and greed, how could the doctors possibly be under more of a yoke with the feds than they already are with the insurance companies? I guess it is okay that hospitals can turn away whomever they want if there is no money.

Here, freeps. Check out this link. And this is going on in a very Republican neighborhood.

http://bayareahouston.blogspot.com/2009/07/young-mother-of-3-with-cancer-needs.html

[stuball111]

131. Doesn't take much to distract them does it?

Just some racially charged, insignificant rumor, and they grab the hook and run like crazy! The ominous thing is, it points out how willing they are to jump on something that might make them right,and that has nothing to do with real problems, and this "base" get so much attention all the while just being a bunch of narrow minded wing nuts.

[EFerrari]

33. LOL!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[stuball111]

34. I can't fathom how unbelievably stupid..

some people can be... I actually almost feel sorry for the poor bastards! I wish I could post there, Man I'd have some fun! But they ban you if you say things like "I'm for Universal Health Care" Got me axed on the very first post... oh well,, Du is more fun, and I'd be breaking rule #1.... "never argue with an idiot"

[EFerrari]

36. They're great entertainment.

:)

[stuball111]

39. Yep... better than Bugs Bunny.. almost

:toast: :bounce:

[stuball111]

37. I'm gonna make a thousand and send em out! Thanks!

[stevedeshazer]

38. Unbelievably funny and cool.

Can't stop laughing here.

:rofl:

[sorrowspath]

40. Can we do Lou Dobbs?

Do him please

[Fearless]

66. No one in their right mind would ever "do" Lou Dobbs.

:rofl:


And welcome to DU.

[Strong Atheist]

101. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[frogcycle]

140. his just HAS to be Mexican n/t

[Hepburn]

41. LMFAO!!!!

:rofl:

OK...which one of you anonymously sent Oily Tatz the fake BC????

:rofl:

[BattyDem]

42. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Fearless]

43. Hey! I already made mine for Rush Limpballs hours ago! Who stole my idea!!

"I'm very mad at ooo!"

Just kidding. :evilgrin:



http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6204746&mesg_id=6204746

[bleever]

48. I saw that, and I salute you.

:patriot:

ed: extra letters, like when Grassley's abbreviating on Twitter.

[Fearless]

51. Honestly I kept looking at that and I didn't have a clue what you were saying for a good 50 seconds.

:banghead:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

45. Here's mine!

Crude, but effective, I think!

[NYC_SKP]

49. Bravo!

:applause:

Sex: Of Course! :P

[CaliforniaPeggy]

53. Ah, thanks, sweetie!

You did inspire me, lol!

I wish you could hear me laughing!

:rofl:

[ColbertWatcher]

60. Delete n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

62. I got it, thanks!

And it's saved!

You are too damn clever!

:hug:

[WorseBeforeBetter]

158. Clever! (n/t)

[Fearless]

46. Taitz might get a kick out of our creations...

[email protected]

[cliffordu]

47. Kickin' it again!!!

[DFW]

50. Anyone can play! Here is proof Glenn Beck was born in Kenya!

[graywarrior]

71. Dear lord, that is hilarious!

[BlancheSplanchnik]

104. back issues avail. on request

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHHHA

OMG!

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!

[DFW]

106. While they last, that is

When your father's name is "B. Wright Beck," you never know when the supply will be exhausted..........

[704wipes]

142. The Seal of Wasabi Province is quite realistic

actually...

[DFW]

145. It's a relic from ancient tribal tradition.........

Passed on to the Masai from the ancient Sushi tribe...........

[Turborama]

52. Excellent! I reckon this deserves to get pinned for a while.

I don't have the right editing software to play around with it, but can't wait to see what DUers who have come up with.

:rofl:

[DFW]

55. I didn't either. I just used paint

[Fearless]

58. Or Picasa 3 (it's free from google).

That's what I did for mine... and I did it the hard way without a blank form, instead using the Orly Taitz "birth certificate" itself.

[ColbertWatcher]

54. Dubya, Cheney & Rove signatures for you to use ...

?=0


?=0


?=0

[ColbertWatcher]

148. Opps! Forgot Rummy's ...

?=0

[Stellar]

56. Cooool!

[krispos42]

59. Heh heh heh!

:evilgrin:

[Lost-in-FL]

94. +1

[classof56]

114. LOVE the seal! Your BC--classic!

Lotsa good chuckles this morning, all more than welcome/needed!

[sarah FAILIN]

61. Someone needs to do one for Reagan and all the Bushes nt

.

[Fearless]

63. How about Bill-O too?

[havocmom]

93. Thinkin': any local pols who are racists and spread lies about Obama

or lies about any of the DEM legislative priorities :evil:

[zoff]

67. damn this internets ...

... you beat me to it :)

[blogslut]

68. Sorry, no scanner for printing

But I was able to make it look like it was on microfilm. I managed to give Marilyn Monroe the father she always wanted:

[ColbertWatcher]

72. Amazing! Well done! n/t

[LynneSin]

69. I don't know if I would trust EarlG - I just found HIS birth certificate.....

[skygazer]

113. I am shocked - SHOCKED, I tell ya

:wow:

[chill_wind]

73. LOL-- ESPECIALLY the "authentic looking folds."

:kick:

[taggline]

75. This has GOT to be the funniest post evah!!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha.....
:rofl::rofl:

I can't wait to FOLD...works within my bizzy schedule of sitting around with no fuckin' job. "Will Work for Birthright!!!"...and minimum wage....

[Buzz Clik]

77. I think this is illegal in Kenya. We'll probably be seeing 25-yr-old Kenyan men ...

... in the Little League World Series.

[malaise]

79. Wicked wicked funny

:rofl: :rofl:

[Call Me Wesley]

81. Sorry, crappy scan of a crappy copy:

[FourScore]

85. I LOVE the coffee stains!!!

Nice touch!

[Call Me Wesley]

88. Thank you!

And kicking this back up.

[redqueen]

98. Hahaha... Mordor.

Very nice! :thumbsup:

[raystorm7]

119. Needs more blood stains :)

[freebrew]

128. Mrs. A. Hilter??

Who the hell is that???

Just had to rib ya..

Where's Don Ho?

[ColbertWatcher]

129. That's beautiful! n/t

[Mad_Dem_X]

83. OMG, that is awesome!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

God, I love DU!

[WePurrsevere]

84. Brilliant! I'd love to see more of what folks come up with!

This is the best laugh I've had in a while. :)

[BlueMTexpat]

86. This post almost makes up for doing without DUZYs and having the

Top Ten on alternate weeks. Almost.
Thanks to all for bringing some much-needed hilarity into my life this morning!
And thanks for proving yet again that DU has some wonderfully talented contributors!

:kick: :rofl: :rofl: :applause: :yourock:

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

87. I highly recommend one acquire the undercoating with each BC.

[rhett o rick]

90. I told you I DON'T WANT THE F&%@# UNDERCOATING. nm

[Hepburn]

89. Here is where to send your copies:

Oily Taters contact info:

http://members.calbar.ca.gov/search/member_detail.aspx?x=223433

[rhett o rick]

91. Make a fake bc for Pres Obama and send it to the local newspaper with the return addy

from the local Republican Party headquarters. This is what someone suggested. I told them never do that, it mite not be legal. lol.

[pipi_k]

92. Dubya's questionable parentage and strange birth...

[redqueen]

95. Hahahahahaha

Brilliant. :)

[dothemath]

96. who the heck is "oily taters"?

I have a lot of free time but not enough to spend reading everything on the internet.

[lumberjack_jeff]

100. Orally Taintz. Orly... Taitz... whatever.

[cliffordu]

102. Ohhhhhh - I thought it was O'reilly's taint......

[Retrograde]

97. Does the Coast District include Mombasa?

I want to be born in Mombasa, 'cause I like saying Mombasa. I don't know anything about the place, but the name sounds cool.

Why stop with Kenya? I'd like a birth certificate from Vatican City - I'm sure some enterprising DUer can come up with a suitable-looking form.

[slackmaster]

105. Be careful, Mombasa and much of the Coast Province belonged to Zanzibar at one time

You probably wouldn't want to be from there.

[eppur_se_muova]

132. I like saying Mafeking, even if it's not in Kenya. nt

[Kali]

103. bwahahahhaha

I went to bed too early last night!

BRILLIANT!

[Cresent City Kid]

107. Let's keep it simple

[janx]

108. K&R

[madmax]

109. The Freepers as of last night

had over 4000k posts about this p.o.s. forgery. They worked themselves into a lather that it's the 'real deal' and will be the end of President Obama.

[Jim Lane]

117. To be fair to the Freepers, they aren't all falling for this one

See above, quoting someone who's trying to get the other Freepers to stop drinking the birther Kool-Aid.

Posts of that sort appear to be lonely voices in the wilderness, however.

[Initech]

110. OMG!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[liberal N proud]

112. We should all mail them to Lou Dobbs

He would get 100's of fake birth certificates.

[skygazer]

115. Sarah Palin

[704wipes]

143. oh yes the alternate Seal of Kenya/ Kenya of the pregnant belly

love it

[AtheistCrusader]

116. So, what are the odds that a form with that sort of typesetting would exist

in Kenya, let alone the United States, in 1964?

I want to beat someone about the head and neck with this, but I can't find a contemporary real birth certificate form example.

[4_TN_TITANS]

118. Best thread I've seen in awhile n/t

[Cheap_Trick]

120. Here's John McCain's birf certificate

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6207233&mesg_id=6207233

[uppityperson]

122. k&r&b&lololololololol

[kevsters]

123. And while the media covers this...

Wall Street sticks us at every turn.

Watch this clip.

http://progressnotcongress.org/?p=2378

[Hyper_Eye]

124. His certified birth certificate is absolutely questionable.

His Kenyan birth certificate, on the other hand, is obviously his real birth certificate! If you don't believe it you are nothing but a pawn! You only question it because you are in the dark and can't see past your messiah!

:sarcasm:

[Laurab]

125. K&R I love it! n/t

[Hutzpa]

126. Lovely

gonna have fun with this....:rofl:

[Mithreal]

127. Awesome! K&R nt

[grok]

133. bush was born in hawaii too!

certificates are so easy to fake.....

[cascadiance]

134. Hmm... So now with right wing logic, proving this is fake is now THE proof that Obama's an American

Just as the so-called forgeries given to Dan Rather that were aired were "proof" that Bush didn't ever desert the National Guard". N'cest pas? Sorry freepers, if you don't like the French! But if you continue with this, then I'll guess we'll just have to start going through the documents on Bush's desertion again!!!! And Dan Rather will get a nice sizable sum in his suit against "liberal media" CBS too!

[mzmolly]

135. What should I choose for a kenyan name?

I'm thinking Machupa, meaning "one who likes to drink". ;)

http://www.babynology.com/meaning-machupa-f37.html

[jberryhill]

136. Source Document For the Kenya Forgery

[ColbertWatcher]

138. Surely you can't be series! n/t

[alfredo]

147. Is this where your link was to go?

http://washingtonindependent.com/53658/is-this-the-source-of-the-forged-kenyan-birth-certificate

[JayMusgrove]

137. What a great idea! I will make one...I think a million of us should

make one!

[Historic NY]

139. Its no good its not a certificate of live birth..........LOL.

[NBachers]

141. Jerry Lundegaard, Deputy Registrar

[beac]

144. This is my nightmare of when I die tomorrow after my 5TH HOUR on hold w/ Verizon "Customer Service"

this week and am reborn in Alaska where Sarah Palin has gone all mavericky and unquit quitting. And yes, this was my actual generated "Palin Baby Name" back in August of '08 (http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html) although I have no Certificate of Live Mirth to prove it. Suck it, Orly!









ETA: Sorry Sarah for making fun of me, your imaginary child, b/c I know the troops must be really disappointed in me right now. :cry:

[aquart]

153. You can bypass the hold. Say "Agent."

I've spent the last month with Verizon phone trees (If George Washington had really loved his country, he would have chopped down the phone tree.) and there are ways to avoid some of the misery.

[beac]

154. Unfortunately, it's not holding to get to an agent, but holding while one of the TWELVE (no, I'm not

exaggerating) people I've spoken to try and untangle the cluster#$*k they made of my life when they assigned us a ghost number for our dry loop DSL that actually belonged to someone else who disconnected her service and thus OURs too. :banghead:


I am on hold as we speak, with billing, trying to make sure the f'ing month of free service and waiver of the activation fee on my NEW acct actually gets credited.

I'm sure I now have raging brain cancer from holding the phone to my head for so long. :woohoo:



Thanks for the idea anyway. Maybe we should start a support group. :hug:

[aquart]

157. Hey they just fixed a problem that's been going on for three years.

At least, I HOPE it's fixed. My DSL isn't stop and start anymore, but it always tended to give me three months on and one month on and off so we'll see in three months.

[beac]

161. You win. Your three years makes my three days look like a walk in the park!

Wish there was another option for DSL here, but Verizon is the only game in town. :(

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you in three months! :)

[KingFlorez]

146. Oooh, goody, I want to try!

[pennyserenade]

149. Another form?

How about an Alaskan high school diploma? Sarah could use it...

[beac]

151. I think high school might be a little ambitious for Quittypants.

Let's send her back to third grade and see how she does.


Oh, and WELCOME to DU!! :hi:

[jmknapp]

150. GOP death certificate issued

[Ilsa]

155. Under "Sex", you should have put "Only outside of my marriage." nt

[beac]

162. Poor old Abe. First he gets murdered and then his party is lowly strangled by teh stupid.

Too bad we can't tap into the engergy of all that grave whirling!

Nice work. :applause: