Probably an old joke, but I laughed my ass off. Sent by a friend in GB, so don't blame us Amurikins

[DCKit]

EU Heightened Security

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

[rasputin1952]

1. LOL...

:D

I recall that from back and it's always good to see...especially the Brit part..."peeved"...:D

[EST]

2. Not to be picky, but this sounds entirely too right wingy for me.

At best, mildly amusing in parts.
Maligning an entire population, using disputable non-facts and deliberate slurs is not the mark of a mature human.

At the risk of sounding imperious and narrow minded, we are better than that.

[Richard Steele]

5. Hardly "picky" at all. More like "pointing out the obvious".

The OP has built a 3-figure post-count very quickly.
A reputation for expressing progressive concepts: not so much.

Some might say "not at all, from what I've seen so far".

I would. Actually, I guess I just did.

[Little Wing]

3. can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy

:spray:

[Kiouni]

4. "Cheese eating surrender monkeys!"

-willie

[MiniMe]

6. You have a friend in George Bush?

[Jonathan50]

7. I'm really tired of jokes about French cowardice..

World War I cost France 1,357,800 dead, 4,266,000 wounded (of whom 1.5 million were permanently maimed) and 537,000 made prisoner.

France had 40 million citizens at the start of the war; six in ten men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-eight died or were permanently maimed.

That would be like the US today taking 10,000,000 fatal casualties.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

8. Reminds me of this...

Heaven is ...

Where the police are British,
The cooks are Italian,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is ...

Where the police are German,
The cooks are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

[XOKCowboy]

9. ROFL

Now THAT's funny! :rofl:

[lectrobyte]

10. Another slam at the French. Too funny.