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Cruzan Donating Member (806 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:21 AM
Original message
Regarding the propriety of Edwards continuing campaign after wife's cancer announcement
You wouldn't think having cancer would be controversial. But when Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards announced in a news conference Thursday that his wife, Elizabeth, had experienced a recurrence of breast cancer and it was now "incurable,'' the news set off debates all over the country.

The cancer wasn't the controversial part. It was what the Edwardses were going to do about it.

After acknowledging Elizabeth's diagnosis, John Edwards said that not only would he continue to run for president, he didn't plan on missing a single campaign event.

The reaction was immediate. Some radio talk show hosts speculated that the move was "political,'' and Internet bloggers and commentators basically accused Edwards of using his wife's illness for a political boost. Others simply thought it was his duty to give up his goals in solidarity with his wife.

"You have to look out for other people in this life,'' Guy Smith, a Chronicle reader from Alameda, told me. "If I were in his shoes, I would abandon the campaign and spend time with the woman I love.''

That was a lovely thought with all the right intentions. But according to the cancer survivors, counselors and therapists I spoke to, it has just one problem -- it is dead wrong.

"What he is doing is absolutely the most positive thing for his wife,'' said Matthew Loscalzo, director of Patient and Family Support at the Rebecca and John Moores University of San Diego Cancer Center, who has studied the relationships of men whose spouses have cancer. "If he quit, what is he going to do after he asks her every 20 minutes, 'How are you feeling, darling?' "

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CJCRANE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. If he quit
it would also beg the question - how serious was he about running for POTUS in the first place?

A president has to be able to deal with serious issues and life and death situations and still have the strength to continue (of course * avoids this dilemma by not having a conscience).
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flobee1 Donating Member (515 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:29 AM
Response to Original message
2. I gotta agree
Edited on Fri Mar-23-07 06:30 AM by flobee1
You can't stop living your life. Even with a cancer as devastating as this.
Onward!
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:32 AM
Response to Original message
3. After thinking about this..
... I don't think there is anything wrong with going on with your life, in fact you have to.

But, other than a sleazy Republican, the last man I want in the white house is one who's wife is dying of cancer. Sorry.
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flobee1 Donating Member (515 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:38 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. think of it this way
Edited on Fri Mar-23-07 06:44 AM by flobee1
After putting up with the mudslinging and bs of a presidential run while at the same time having your wife diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, you can be damn shure he wouldn't freeze up in a gradeschool classroom while the country was being attacked.


If edwards remains cool, composed, and clearheaded through all of this, that has to count for something.
I know he will have earned a lot of respect from me
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:38 AM
Response to Original message
5. The power of thought
My grandfather was hit by a massive heart attack in 1950, and given 6 months to live. He lived 9 years, mainly because he had an aged mother to take care for. It was only after her death that he finally succumbed to the disease. In the autopsy, they found the valves of his heart to be so leaky the doctors marveled that he lived so long.

Why bring up this? Because the power of will CAN cause someone to keep on. If Edwards had given up his fight, his wife would have felt guilty and maybe even gone rapidly down hill. By looking at herself as a help to her husband AND a role model for others with cancer, she may well have gained days, weeks, even years of life.
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H2O Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:28 AM
Response to Reply #5
15. In the sprring of 1988
my mother was told that she had, at most, three months to live. The doctors who gave a second opinion agreed. She is still alive, and lives in the house my father built. She may not get out of her house every day, but she lives an independent life.
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crappyjazz Donating Member (886 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. It wouldn't matter what they did
To rethugs, they and every other dem are fair game.

I, like too many people, had to deal with cancer in my family. I watched my brother for 10 years struggle to live his life and meet his goals throughout. He was 14 when he passed. He did his best to attend school every day, to read as much as he could read, to play as many sports as he could ... I can remember even one of his teachers telling him that he needed to take it easy. Here was his response, which is imprinted in my memory forever: "if I had 80 or 90 years to live, I would take it easy, I don't have that long, I'm not ready to curl up and die yet" Over 25 years later, I still miss him like crazy.

If Edwards had backed out I imagine he would have been ridiculed just the same. If they hadn't made the announcement they would have been derided later for keeping it secret.
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flobee1 Donating Member (515 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:51 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Inspiring words!
"if I had 80 or 90 years to live, I would take it easy, I don't have that long, I'm not ready to curl up and die yet"

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
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Justice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:56 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. you are absolutely correct

I am so sorry about your brother - I read the affection in your words.

you are right that it wouldn't matter what they did. I listen to a RW station when driving home from work just for kicks. The callers were calling and talking from personal experience, just as you have to say just what you said - and the host kept saying, yes, but....if it were me, I'd quit and the callers were saying, no that is not what is really best for you or your spouse.

I also heard the executive director of the Komen Foundation last night - and she said, hey, lots of men whose wives have breast cancer continue to work - lots of women with breast cancer work. It is much more normal to continue to work than stop everything and sit home waiting to die.
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 06:52 AM
Response to Original message
8. Ask the people who are raising such questions:
What about Heart-Attack Cheney? He didn't step down for health reasons ... Reagan had Alzheimers in the early 80s, and yet the Repukes covered for him, instead of him stepping down ... And what about Rudy Judy-Annie? He had cancer not long ago (2000). He did step down at that point, but what if his cancer could return? And those are the people in office?

How about the fact that they had Strom Thurmond practically on life-support, just to maintain their razor-thin hold?
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enough Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:00 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. Great point. Also add Arlen Specter.
(Though in Specter's case, I wish he HAD stepped down, for that reason or any other reason he could think of. But the point is the same.)

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RobinA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:17 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. Arlen Spector
or any other Senator is not analogous in this situation. A Senator is just a Senator, no matter who he is. The President, or the nominee for President, creates his own weather so to speak. He is not interchangable.
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RobinA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:14 AM
Response to Original message
11. My Question Is
whether or not they are getting accurate advice and whether they are prepared to see this through no matter what. By the nature of the position he is seeking, at some point his responsibility to the country becomes greater than his responsility to his family. By continuing and possibily accepting the nomination, he's taking on the responsibility of not quitting in the summer of 08 if she becomes really sick. Is this his plan? If so, OK. If not, he needs to get out now and let the process work itself out without him. I support Edwards, but he needs to committ to playing out the course he takes, or he is being incredibly irresponsible. As a husbad he needs to be optimistic. As a viable candidate he needs to be realistic.

And as far as I'm concerned, any notion of this being used for political advantage is just disgusting.
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:23 AM
Response to Original message
13. I usually try and refrain from commenting on primary matters
Edited on Fri Mar-23-07 07:26 AM by Solly Mack
mainly because of all the highly defensive, misdirected anger that takes place in such a love me love my dog environment.

But this I'll comment on

Leave the man alone.

He won't be doing Elizabeth any good if he is under foot all day reminding her of just how worried he is - she doesn't need that...she's worried enough as it is...about him...her family...and herself

Should the time come for Edwards to be at her side - he will be

The love from family ,friends and well-wishers is all good...but the love between a couple isn't a love the outside world gets to be a part of...where it matters, the connection between the 2 people and how they feel about what they should do is all there is....No one...absolutely no one...really knows what goes on between a couple....they feel those feelings, they think their thoughts, and they know their hearts...people on the outside can only guess at what they already know.

Elizabeth wouldn't want him to give up
He wouldn't want Elizabeth to give up
What we are witnessing from the outside is the product of the love those two have for each other.

It might not look like it to a lot of people...and those people don't matter in the end...but John and Elizabeth Edwards are doing what only the two of them can do - love each other enough not to let life stop how they love - and how they live that love.

All we can do is wish them well and hope for the best
and it wouldn't hurt to respect a choice they made (and if you can't respect it, at least leave it alone) - because we have no clue as to what all went into that choice and projecting our own basket of neurosis onto them just isn't fair.


Thank you for posting the article.





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PA Democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-23-07 07:26 AM
Response to Original message
14. Every single day we are all one day closer to our deaths, and yet death is
something that we commonly avoid thinking about. Even with seemingly perfect health, today could be our last day to live.

People who receive a diagnosis like Elizabeth Edwards has, are harshly reminded of the fact that they are mortal and that their time on earth is limited. I greatly admire the way that the Edwards have chosen to deal with Elizabeth's diagnosis. We should all live our lives every single day to the fullest. Hug the people you love, enjoy the little pleasures life has to offer, and do something to leave the world a better place. It seems to me that that is the choice Elizabeth and John Edwards have made, to go on living and pursuing their dreams. I think the way they have handled this is truly inspirational.
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