Damn, I just quit my job...

[JeffreyWilliamson]

My boss had become verbally abusive. The other day he tried to pressure me into applying for unemployment while continuing to work for him so that he wouldn't have to pay me. I went to the office at about 7am, compiled a list of everything I was working on, and left a resignation letter with it on his desk along with my keys. When I left I called up and had my phone numbers changed.

I didn't have any other choice, but damn, what am I going to do now? I don't know if we will be able to pay our bills by next month.

[conscious evolution]

1. He is advocating unemployment compensation fraud?

Turn his ass in.If he did it to you he also probably tried it on other employees.

[billyoc]

2. Wow, he sounds great.

I mean, really, he tried to get you to file for unemployment AND KEEP WORKING FOR HIM?!!

:wow:

[dysfunctional press]

3. you could have gone to the state authorities and reported him, instead.

seeing as he wanted you to commit fraud against the state.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

6. And probably qualified for UI to boot.

The OP won't qualify for unemployment benefits because they quit.

[dysfunctional press]

7. yep.

but life lessons can sometimes be expensive...:shrug:

[Lisa0825]

8. Not necessarily true.

If you quit, you can still apply for UI and then the employer can contest it. Considering the BS he was trying to pull, it's worth a try, though it would be a "your word against his" situation. Still, even if he just forgets to contest it, you win.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

10. The OP was actually aware of that...

I just wanted out. Today. It was bad.

As a side note, I did everything but pay the bills. He can't even use e-mail, and since the hurricane we downsized, and it was just me and his son out of town. Business was already bad, but I probably just closed him down.

[undeterred]

18. There is something called "constructive discharge"

which means the situation is so bad you are essentially being forced out of the job. Asking you to commit fraud and verbally abusing you may make the case.

[renate]

4. Good luck

I hope you find a better job very soon. You deserve it. :hug:

[Warpy]

5. Hang in there

and take whatever you can find in the short term.

Look at it this way, if the guy wanted you to commit fraud so you could essentially work for free, he wasn't going to pay you, anyway.

Chances are very good that he'll be out of business within the next 3 months.

Sometimes you need to leave.

[Warren Stupidity]

9. 1) get another job; 2) quit current job.

Too late for you perhaps, but you should not quit your job without some backup plan. I would call your abusive boss back, a tell him you lost your mind and unquit. Meanwhile I'd go look for another job, and then requit.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

11. I'm actually aware that's the order it's usually done...

If this hadn't been a pretty ugly situation, it would have played out that way.

I can easily get a job waiting tables somewhere, since that's what I did several years back. Problem is, I broke my foot two weeks ago. That kind of really sucks.

For anyone who caught it in the Lounge a couple of weekends back, my cat tried to die from a urinary tract blockage and I had to run him up to the emergency vet. Since that little fiasco, he's been back to the local vet about every 3 days with secondary problems.

For anyone worried, he's doing just fine today. He did help me run up all of our credit cards though. We are pretty much screwn as a result.

[Lisa0825]

13. Yikes!

I am glad he is doing OK today!

You've had rough time lately :hug:

[JeffreyWilliamson]

14. It's made for an interesting holiday season...

Hurricanes, everything destroyed, out for the replacement car, crap at work, economic recession/depression, pets trying to keel over on us.

The thing I hate about all of this is that I really probably did sink the business. That's a delicious prospect considering the owner, but it puts his son out of work as well.

I've got no beef with him, in fact we were pretty close. I didn't tell him what was about to happen so that he wouldn't tell my boss. As a result his getting screwed came totally out of left field, and he didn't deserve that.

He's already e-mailed me. In a day or so I will have to give him a call and explain. He deserves to know why this happened.

[Lisa0825]

15. Hopefully he will understand.

I hope you had a nice NYE despite all the stuff going on. I was just getting over having a problem with my eye (a stye or something?) and then on NYE morning, I woke up with a bad cold. I think I did some NyQuil-drunk posting in the Lounge that night!LOL!

You take care of yourselves... no more injuries to anybody!

[qanda]

19. You certainly don't need to return to an abusive boss

It's better to struggle financially than to stay in any abusive relationship. (((JW))) Hope things start looking up soon.

[ogneopasno]

12. Call your local census office. I know in some areas they're desperate for workers, and it pays

not-so-bad. Good luck to you. I resigned from my job in August and I know it's scary.

[closeupready]

16. Re: your chances of now getting unemployment compensation, there is the concept of "constructive dis

discharge" which means, basically, your boss made it impossible to continue working with him, and so forced you to quit. I don't know if that would work, but it's worth a try, since it IS true, and you don't have to lie - just simply apply for benefits, and if he challenges it, you just tell the UI caseworker the truth. Personally, I would allow your claim. Good luck.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

20. To you and the poster above who mentioned this...

This sounds like it warrants a look. Thanks for the heads-up.

[conspirator]

17. delete

[JeffreyWilliamson]

21. Why was this deleted? n/t

[Trillo]

22. You took the human course of action.

Perhaps even logical instead of human, as it's illogical to believe that humans are emotionless.

It's my understanding, from listening to the conversations of employers, that "riding" an employee is an exceedingly common way to get them to quit instead of honestly firing them. So much for employee pursuit of happiness in the corporate employment model.

If I were you, I'd watch for self-employment opportunities, though the "self-employment" modifier is entirely up to you. Don't forget to ask yourself, your own mind, for opportunities, otherwise your conscious mind might miss them when they pop up!

Good luck!

[applegrove]

23. You did the right thing.

[bdamomma]

24. your boss became verbally abusive, couldn't you have reported him?

instead of losing your job? just asking.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

26. It would have been difficult reporting it to his boss...

...since he owns the company. So I decided to take the "screw this" approach.

[Tashca]

25. Never stay in an abusive situation....

for any reason!!

I'm sure your scared shitless about now, but you also now have regained your power to live your life the way you want to live it. The unknown can be so scary....but you should also feel or will feel an exhilaration of freedom and the chance to take another road in life. It will work out...

I should know....I've done it and never once been sorry I had. My daughter did it just a few weeks ago and for a moment I wanted to kick her ass.....until she explained why. She did the right thing and now has a job she loves.

Don't look back....learn from your past and move forward. It is an exciting time!!!

[JeffreyWilliamson]

27. Bingo!

This was it exactly. But I'm not really scared shitless right now, (that will be when bill time comes around next month).

I was scared shitless then, and when I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture, I realized that this had begun to play out like an abusive marriage type relationship, and I had taken on the role of the victim. I thought, "whoa, that's not who I am".

It was pretty much a no-brainer at that point, the question was how and when. The unemployment thing made the "how and when" become "a very pointed letter and today".

I know this will, in the end, work itself out. It's going to make for some stress in the short term but I'll survive. I feeling pretty full of myself right now actually, although I haven't checked the mail yet for any bills...

[CTyankee]

28. Call your creditors and explain the situation (briefly) and that you are willing

to make good faith payments on your account. They usually let you do that rather than have you default entirely. Something is better than nothing...

[Naturyl]

29. Good choice.

Never let a petty tyrant employer abuse you. Learn to live with less if necessary.

[deaniac21]

30. Find another job then quit.

[lonestarnot]

31. Hoy. Son don donia!

[cherokeeprogressive]

32. I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything works out, but would have counseled you not to quit

until you had more than one months reserve to pay your bills. You used the word WE in your post. Is there a spouse or SO who shares the responsibility of paying the bills with you? Do you have small children?

I ask these questions because for me they are part of the larger picture. Quitting a job without having a fallback is likely to put someone other than you into hardship they didn't ask for. I know; I've done it before. I didn't like my supervisor and everything he said seemed like a personal affront to me. I don't mind saying that I'm supremely sorry now that I look back on the decision, though it didn't seem like a mistake until the next month came and we couldn't pay the rent. My ex-wife and daughter were forced to move home to her parents house, and because I had put them in that position I was not welcome there. The separation led to divorce, which led to bankruptcy, and eventually culminated with my wife moving out of state with her parents. Today I have a nearly 30 year old daughter who has no interest in getting to know me.

The REAL evidence of my folly didn't become clear though until I was interviewing for a new job and the HR person asked me why I had left my last position, and if there was any reason I didn't use my old boss as a reference. A couple of subsequent interviews with other employers ended pretty much the same way. By the time I was employed again, I had been sleeping in a friend's garage for about three months with no bathroom, running water, heat, or car.

As for what to do now, all I can advise is to think positive thoughts, as I will on your behalf, and keep plugging. My snap decision was nearly a lifewrecker. I hope yours works out best for all concerned.

Good Luck and Best Wishes to you JeffreyWilliamson

[JeffreyWilliamson]

33. I am sorry to hear how it ended for you...

I have been worried that we would be forced to shut down at some point as bad as business has been for the last few months. So for a while we have been working on the budget, seeing what corners can be cut, paying down some debt, etc., so that we would be able to scrape by in the event of an emergency.

When I say we will have a hard time making the bills by February with everything else that's happened, that won't mean that we are out of house and home, but will mean that we will enact the emergency plan. That plan is this:

We don't have children, just a dog and cat, and have a fair degree of disposable income. As a result, even though we each don't make that much, we do not have the bills that some other couple with children, car payments, etc., may have even if their combined income is more than ours. We have more money to spend even though we make less. That means to make the bills on time until the situation can be resolved, we cut the fat.

We don't really need our expensive cell phone calling plan

My best friend lost his job once, but has one now and doesn't really need to be carried on our cellular family plan anymore

We upgraded to CF bulbs years ago, but could conserve more energy to drop the bill further and should do that anyway

We do not need the top tier satelite package, my homemade digital antenna gets the networks in HD, (and cost 20 bucks and an hour to build), because of tree blockage the satelite cannot even offer me that

We both have bicycles, work (or worked, as it were) within practically walking distance, but I drive us to work everyday

He doesn't really need that World of Warcraft subscription, just as I don't need the one to XBOX Live

We do not really need business speed DSL at home in order to survive

I probably should not be smoking 2 packs of cigarettes for 10 bucks a day

We can survive without impulse shopping so often

I lost my car in the hurricane, but it was paid for. I only had liability insurance, but I did have $2500.00 so was able to pick up a very clean, low mileage 1994 Geo Prizm for cash. Basically what I'm getting at is there is no car payment.

Cut the fat and we have:

Rent
Water/Trash/Sewage
Electricity
Low Cost Cell Package/Basic Home Service/Slower Internet
One Small Credit Card, One Large, One Department Store Card
Groceries

That puts us at about even without my income, and we had a very long, good conversation about this when we planned that budget, and over the New Year's holiday when I told him what I thought I needed to do. There was a time when he did not have a job and I supported us, but I would not have done this if he were not comfortable doing the reverse. In the end, he said it was a matter of ethics, and was actually the one to explain very clearly that he thought I had no other choice.

We don't buy a lot on credit, and like I said have worked hard to pay down our credit debts for a few years now, and so usually keep a credit card with a large line just in case there is an emergency. What worries me is that the sick cat ended up being that emergency, and that large line of credit is not very large at all right now.

To compensate I tried to make sure our support network was in place. We have family and friends that will help, including with a place to stay if it ever came to that.

I just about fell out of my chair when my fundie mom in Colorado Springs, (who I've posted about before), actually volunteered to let us both move in with her, including the pets, if it came to that. That was a big thing for her, considering the possibility of letting two homos share her spare bedroom, what with all the homo sex and all.

Honestly, I like our odds, and am halfway thankful the financial crisis came when it did or this would not have been planned in advance. My main fear is that other safety net taking such a huge hit during Pet Crisis 2008.

I will have to find another job, doing just about anything, as quickly as possible to be on the safe side.

[cherokeeprogressive]

38. Armed with this new knowledge I fully support your decision and feel confident that you'll come thru

You will probably even prosper. I was young and stupid with no thought for the extended future. You seem just the opposite. Good on you for that.

You made me laugh. "letting two homos share her spare bedroom, what with all the homo sex and all". My daughter just came out to me less than a month ago and we are probably closer now than we've ever been. The subject of her and her girlfriend (formerly known as just "my best friend") coming to the mountains to spend the weekend with me and the Ms. came up a few days ago. I told her that now that she's out she can't spend the night in the same bedroom with her girlfriend. She laughed and said "well we have before"! I explained that I wouldn't let her and a boyfriend spend the night in the same bedroom at her age (she's 17). Her last word on the subject was "Okay, don't bother me about it after August 15th" which is her 18th birthday, followed by "So, what time will you be here to pick us up next Friday?".

Gotta love that kid.

Best of luck to you and your guy. I was worried before, but am now confident that your situation will resolve itself in your favor before you know it. Tell your Mom I think she's cool.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

41. "So, what time will you be here to pick us up next Friday?"

Best line all day. I really needed that laugh. Thank you very, very much for that.

Definitely gotta love that kid. She's lucky to have you.

[SoCalDem]

34. You need to go to the unemployment office and tell them what he tried to make you do

It might not go anywhere, but since you quit, you cannot collect anyway.. can't hurt to tell them..

[JeffreyWilliamson]

36. The magic bullet...

I'm holding it in reserve for at least the weekend, just in case any harrassment were to follow my decision.

My letter implied that I don't want any trouble, and that it might be bad news if that little gem got out.

But I wouldn't have done this if I didn't have a sense of ethics. That same sense of ethics will likely see me at the unemployment office in a couple of days singing like a bird anyway. What's wrong is wrong.

[juno jones]

35. You have been through a lot lately it seems.

I followed your postings at the time of the hurricane. Thank you for your perspective.

It sounds like you have been at this job a long time, which I would think would look good in terms of unemployment.

I certainly don't blame you for quitting. You have far more patience than I would have with that situation. Stress kills. You've got enough on your plate right now and need a break from that toxic shite.

Good luck. And best wishes to your kitty. I hope he recovers soon.

[JeffreyWilliamson]

37. I've always been one of those people...

...that thinks everyone else's life is more exciting than mine, and wished that my life was more interesting.

You should be careful what you wish for.

As for the job I worked there for years, and always loved my work. This stress level lately has been unbearable. I am 33 years old but feel probably about 45 right now.

A hurricane follow up thread is in the works. Keep an eye out for it.

[juno jones]

40. I will.

:hug:

[VOX]

39. I've been there, JW, and you did the absolute right thing...

Years ago, I had one of the many psycho-bosses-from-hell. Early on, my better instincts were screaming, Get out -- get out now! But I hung on, trying to prove my worth. The boss-from-hell just had this weird, fixed idea of who I was, and part of me tried over and over again to penetrate that armor plate, and show that I was worthy, etc. Meanwhile, my self-esteem was heading into the toilet, and I began having this image of a foolish guy trying to put out a blazing house fire with one bucket of water.

But I finally realized that this was a rigged game, one that I would never be allowed to win, so after 6 months of taking a daily pummeling, I finally quit.

All of which is to say, I know how lousy it is to be in your shoes right now. There is some very sound advice upthread -- speak to your creditors, they will most likely accomodate you.

Try to keep an upbeat attitude -- what you've gone through is stressful and depressing as hell, and it will resonate for awhile.

Even in this economy, I'm confident that you can land another job, and who knows? It just might be with some sane, healthy, interesting and caring individuals.

All good luck to you. Be well and let us know what happens!

Hang in there -- :thumbsup:

[JeffreyWilliamson]

42. Eventually I will get counseling...

I'm a pretty big smartass in real life, and I put on a good stage face in public. Honestly, the hurricane and what's happened here is depressing, and it's hard to even want to go outside and see it everyday. I don't think I want to be here anymore, and now especially with this happening, I feel more trapped here than ever.

That plus this situation leads me to believe that while I'm still joking around, even in this thread, I need help. As soon as I am able, I intend to get it. I'm keeping up the appearance that I'm the same person I was a few months ago, but in reality this has profoundly affected me.

But that's why I am posting about what happened today on an annonymous message board. So I can talk through some of it.

Thanks to everyone that has replied so far.