Another Question About Pedophiles

[demgurl]

I did not want to add this on to my other thread since it is so big now and I need some answers. My husband and I have decided something needs to be done and NOW. However, we would rather see our nephew get institutionalized than go to jail. The Mom, of the perp, alleges there are no inpatient programs to help people like our nephew. I do not believe anything she says.

Do any of you know if there are such programs in regular hospitals (mental or not) and if they normally are not set up to help people like my nephew, are there any inpatient programs on the Eastern seaboard that would be able to help him?

Please, no judgments. I really am just trying to make the best of the situation. If we can not get him into a program then he will have to go to jail and I think that would the end of him literally and figuratively.

I really am in desperate need of your wealth of knowledge. Thank you for anything you can offer.

[EFerrari]

1. But remember, the first priority is safety.

And, even should he land in jail, he can always be transferred. It's late out here, but I'll go look at what is available in your area. Just remember, first things first.

:hug:

[demgurl]

7. Thanks sfexpat2000.

I know he can be transferred but I would rather him go straight to a mental institution. If they find out what he is in for, they would have a picnic with this boy. And as much as what he did is despicable, I would not want that to happen to him. If that is what we are left with then we will do it but I prefer him getting checked in to an institute.

[MichiganVote]

2. Depends. Local hospitals, probably not. Community Mental Health is your best bet.

Its that or a private clinician. Either one could open a door to the judicial system in some way.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

3. You really need to ask

Social Services or the local Child Welfare agencies. Posting on a message board is going to get you lots of responses, but if you're serious about getting help, go to the professionals in your area and get the information you need.

All this stuff varies so much from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. And before you label someone a pedophile, you better have proof of that, so be very careful in the allegations you make and to whom you make them. A lot of damage is done when people are careless with charges that may or may not be accurate.

I wish you well.

[mrcheerful]

5. True as I jjust posted on how it is in my state and city.

[demgurl]

6. I will call them tomorrow to see if they know of a program.

I would like to know about a program, especially one someone here may have had experience with but I will see what an agency has to say about it.

As for proof and making accusations, I have been careful not to say the person's name, especially since the perp is still a minor. But the perp's brother told us and then both parents and grandparents verified it for us. I wrote to the Mom of the perp saying I knew what happened and if she or her son needs help to let me know. She did not deny it but she also did not answer the email. At one point the victim was supposed to sleep over but had to cancel due to a doctor's appointment. The Mom of the victim said she wondered why I had not asked what appointment because she would have told me it was a session because of what his cousin did to him. I am not sure how there can be any doubt as to what happened, especially since we are known (within the family) to call authorities. Had it not happened they would have quickly come to us to insure we would not do anything like turn the perp in.

I have not been near the perp since I found out but that is becuase I have children. He is the only one I have not talked to about this. If you knew the type of denail this family is usually in, you would know it is amazing they have admitted as much as they have. No fears of any of it being false!

Thank you for your well wishes.

[rebel with a cause]

11. I did not see your original post so I did not know the age of the perp.

Since you say the perp is a minor, I can tell you that there are treatment programs (in controlled environments) out there for juvenile sexual predators. In Illinois there are several, and I am sure there are many in other state. If there are financial difficultly in affording such a facility, the parent can always turn their child over to the state. The state will then place the youth in treatment. Of course this does mean giving up custody of your child, but there are quite a few people who have done so.

I don't know if you know the facts behind this youth becoming a predator or not, but that may be a question you might want to be asking since this is in your family. Did this problem begin with him or is it a result of someone perping on him. This is the case many times over, although not always. I have worked with youths with this problem and there usually is a history of sexual abuse in their past. Also, the outcome of treatment is often dependent on the youth's own attitude toward their own actions. Youth's with no sense of conscience have a low rate of successful recovery, but those that can relate to their victim, regret their action, can have a much higher rate of success.

As for prison, that would be my last option for a juvenile unless there is violence involved and such. I would seek juvenile treatment first. Prison has a high rate of juveniles being raped and made into someone's b*tch, and I don't know that this would be a healthy way of treating his problem if it is treatable.

[demgurl]

13. Yes, the perp has been abused.

He was abused, as a small child, by a babysitter. The babysitter sodomized him over and over again. He was also physically (not sexually) and mentally abused by the Mom's boyfriend. This is only the stuff we know about. So I do believe it all began because of someone preying on him. He is also borderline retarded. The problem with that is a few months after the abuse occurred, the perp was acting like he did nothing wrong when he was around that family. He just did not understand what he did because he does not have the mental capacity. And now, thankfully, they have cut off all ties with him.

Yes, prison is our last option with this kid. That is why I am trying so hard to find a program - so I will not have to send him to jail. A program, I think, would be much more effective with this kid. I hope his problem is treatable but with his mental capacity I am not sure. I just know jail would be the end of him.

[mrcheerful]

4. Sorry but the facts are there is no place outside of prison that has

an inpatient services for peds. Then those prison programs neither addresses the under laying problems of a ped, they just are to get the ped to admit he did the crime and once he does, he graduates and is sent back out to the streets. Not that a tougher stance on the crime offers a solution, as prisons don't rehab the prisoners they just were-house people then let a % of them back out just as angry and screwed up as they went in, so the return rates remain high and prisons remain money makers for the state.

[demgurl]

8. Well a pedophile can never be cured.....

but if he went to jail now, as a minor, would he not just be released in a very short amount of time? And he does need help. If you read my other thread then you will know that a babysitter sodomized him and his Mom's boyfriend mentally and physically (not sexually) abused him. There are a lot of things that a doctor could really help him with.

He needs a place where he can safely come to terms with everything that has happened to him and then be in out patient therapy the rest of his life trying to contraol his urges.

If he only went to jail for a short time, because he is a minor, then he will be out doing the same thing over again. Everything needs to be addressed.

You want to know something I find sick? Maybe this is what regular doctors do, but the victim's doctor had him write a note to the perp saying he forgave him! I just feel that is not the right course of action. Then, again, I am not a certified doctor.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

10. He's A Minor?

I didn't know that.

[demgurl]

14. Yes, he is now 16 and he was 15 when this happened.

He is a minor and has mental problems to boot. (he is borderline retarded) Gee, not sure how you missed that in the miles and miles of replies I made to that thread! You don't have hours to go through a single thread???? Shame on you!!!! LOL.

[rebel with a cause]

12. Not all juvenile sexual predators are pedophiles

Since rape is often an act of aggression all about power, they are sometimes merely seeking power over someone the way power was gotten over them. Juveniles can sometimes be treated and come to terms with their problems. I have seen juveniles who had a few acts of sexually acting out that did get help and went hopefully to have normal lives.

Read my answer up thread to an earlier post by you. There are facilities in some states for youth sexual perpetrators. Don't know your state, but I know Illinois and I believe Missouri have them. edited to add, I have been a visitor to one as transporter to one youth visiting their sibling.

[demgurl]

15. Thank you.

You give me some hope that therapy may work. I am going to research what is available in my state. As I said, the Mom has said there are no such facilities that would be inpatient willing to deal with the problems her son has. I don't believe her and thus I asked. Now that I know there are some out there, I will check more indepth for my state.

[rebel with a cause]

17. Check with your DCFS (or what ever it may be called in your state)

They should be able to give you any facilities that are available in your state. You don't have to give your name or the name of the child. Just tell them that you are a concerned relative and you want to find a treatment center to recommend to the parent. Hopefully you will be able to find something.

The youth being mentally deficient may be a blessing because they might not know what they have done is wrong, and that means they may be able to be taught it was wrong. There is always hope when the victims are in the single digits. Now if it is serial level, then that is another story. But I would need to know the nature of the attack on his cousin to really have a clear idea of what I think the chances are in his case. Good luck.

[greenvpi]

9. Was he the victim of the mental illness or

the victim of the victim?

[demgurl]

16. He is borderline retarded ......

and he has been the victim of much abuse himself. (see my other answers in this thread) This 16 year old made his young cousin his victim. Everyone is trying to cover it up and ignore it hoping he will learn to act better but I want him to get help now before he becomes an adult, does it again, and is jailed when he needs much more help than a jail can give him. He does not exactly have mental illness but he has been sexually, mentally and physically abused and he is borderline retarded.

[demgurl]

18. I THINK I FOUND A PLACE.....

Thanks to you folks giving me certain key words I could google, I found a place very close to our city and one that treats both sexual abuse as well as sexually agressive behavior! I am so excited that it does exist and perhaps my nephew can live on that campus, while he gets help, rather than having to go to jail. Thank you for giving me a starting place and possibly helping to save this kid. I owe you all so much. Thank you.

[rebel with a cause]

19. Great. So glad you found some place.

Here are a few more links with material that might help you or someone else understand this a bit.

http://ssw.unc.edu/fcrp/cspn/vol7_no2/understand_jso.htm

http://www.cjcj.org/pdf/juvenile_sexual.pdf

http://www.juvjus.state.nc.us/new_facilities.html

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/fs200207.pdf

http://www.practicenotes.org/vol7_no2/what%20to%20look%20for.htm

http://www.juvjus.state.nc.us/community_programs/multipurpose_juvenile_homes.html