Houstonians try to pray away Ike

[Bluebear]

HOUSTON — Forecasters and hurricane hunters are using every high-tech tool available to help keep Gulf Coast residents informed about Hurricane Ike. Others are using what they believe is the most powerful tool at their disposal: prayer.

It’s something that’s practiced at Windsor Village United Methodist Church in southeast Houston.

“We speak to Hurricane Ike and we command the winds and the storm to dissipate,” prayed the parishioners on Tuesday.

“We are people who do believe in miracles and healing and Godly intervention, but we didn’t know that we might have the authority and the power to effect the weather,” said Pastor Suzette Caldwell.

But since Hurricane Rita, members of Windsor Village United Methodist Church have offered the “ severe weather prayer.”

http://www.khou.com/news/local/stories/khou080909_jj_power_of_prayer_hurricane.5d96b163.html

====

Evacuate when you're told, don't just pray, folks.

[marmar]

1. Exactly. Pray.....then get to steppin'

:yoiks:

[Dogtown]

16. NO!

They should pray as they link arms in a divine chain to hold back the storm!


It'll be like a big baptism!

[Union Thug]

2. Good luck with that. I hope your affairs are in order. nt

[tblue]

3. Does their god have something against transportation?

[Pepper32]

4. Umm ok

Hope that works out for them.

[hatrack]

5. "We beseech thee, O Lord, to halt the Coriolis Effect! Let the heat transfer cease!"

:eyes:

[DemoTex]

6. Be careful what you pray for (just ask Sonny Perdue)!

[phantom power]

7. God obviously created this hurricane in the first place.

Who are these arrogant, arrogant people to argue with God?

[EmperorHasNoClothes]

8. Wait a minute, the hurricane is picking up speed...

STOP PRAYING!! STOP PRAYING!!!

[Javaman]

9. "the Lord compells you!!!"

Kind of idiotic to try and pray away a hurricane when it's one of "gods" creations, isn't it?

or does the devil control the weather now? I just can't keep up with this stuff anymore?

[upi402]

10. Ugh, me thinks it's time for Mark Twain qoute

"We were good boys, good Presbyterian boys, and loyal and all that; anyway, we were good Presbyterian boys when the weather was doubtful; when it was fair, we did wander a little from the fold."

Mark Twain
67th birthday dinner, 11/28/1902

They'll be sayin' "Oh God!!" when the lights go out I bet...

[sarcasmo]

11. Let me know how that works, what a JOKE.

[SammyWinstonJack]

12. Yeah, that'll work.

:silly:

[LeftyMom]

13. If that worked, there'd never be bad weather anywhere.

[anigbrowl]

14. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

[guitar man]

15. an old joke

but it seems to fit here.

A swollen river brings a rising flood to a Louisiana valley. A National Guard jeep drives by an endangered house and the guardswoman tells the occupant to get in before the waters come. "God will take care of me," says the man. Soon the waters have flooded the first floor. A motorboat comes by and the man is offered a ride. "God will take care of me," says the man. Hours later the water has reached the roof. A helicopter flies by and the pilot tells the man, now on the roof, to climb in. "God will take care of me," he again replies. Soon the waters cover the roof and the man drowns. As he reaches heaven he complains to God for not saving him. "Look," says God. "I sent a jeep, a boat and a helicopter. What more do you expect?"

:D

[Lorien]

18. Lol! One of my favorites

:thumbsup:

[codjh9]

23. Thanks... that was worth seeing again. Very true & appropriate.

[cliffordu]

17. Apparently they are zero for three,

They can't pray away teh gay,
Couldn't get a storm to strike the Democratic national convention
Now they can't stop THIS storm.

Maybe they need a new God.....

I'm just sayin'

[Canuckistanian]

19. FEEL the power of the Lord

As you get smacked by a flying garden shed.

[panzerfaust]

20. But Ike is the Just (by def) Judgement of Dog

Besides. What is prayer to an omnipotent, omniscient, being?

Like you don't think Dog (by definition!) KNOWS you don't want your house destroyed and your kids killed?

You probably do not like ass-kissers, why do you think that the Lord and Creator of the universe feels any differently?

Whatever happens, it is (again, by definition of the Abrahamic God) the Will of the Lord.

Accept it.

Gee, is not that what 'Islam' means: Submission (to the Will of Dog, His Prophet, and any Male)?

[Dr.Phool]

21. My wife says sometimes god answers prayers by saying "No"

I think in this case, his answer is "FUCK YOU".

[codjh9]

22. Ha ha! Yeah, that'll work!

[SammyWinstonJack]

24. hehehe.

:silly:

[Arugula Latte]

25. When will people realize

1. There is no all-powerful deity pulling the strings.

2. Even if there were, why would you pray to such a blatant asshole who loves slaughter and suffering?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

26. Why are natural disasters called Acts of God?

If god is so loving and kind? huh?

[daleo]

27. Fun with anagrams

Acts of God ==> Scat of Dog