Republican Convention Schedule...LOL!

[tex-wyo-dem]

Just received this as an email...pretty damn funny!

Republican Convention Schedule

Minneapolis, MN

4:00 PM - Opening Prayers and Massages Administered by Rev. Ted Haggard
4:05 PM - Presentation of Confederate Colors
4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to 9/11
4:15 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
4:30 PM - George W. Bush Speech on Legacy of Peace and Prosperity, Canceled
4:45 PM - Dick Cheney Instructional Seminar on Waterboarding, Canceled
5:00 PM - Karl Rove Speech on Government Accountability, Canceled
5:15 PM - Tribute to the U.S. Constitution, Canceled
5:30 PM - VP Beauty Contest and Swimsuit Competition, featuring Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice, and Rudy Giuliani
5:45 PM - Tribute Film to John McCain's Houses
6:00 PM - Free Jack Abramoff Pep Rally
6:15 PM - Free Tom DeLay Pep Rally
6:30 PM - Free Ted Stevens Pep Rally
6:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
7:00 PM - VP Briefing Session: The Busy Mom's Guide to Battling Islamic Terrorism
7:15 PM - Larry Craig "Family Values" Lecture and Toe-Tapping Exhibition
7:30 PM - Restroom Break
7:45 PM - Invitation to "Strip Down and Get Relaxed," delivered by Mark Foley via Instant Message
8:00 PM - Lecture on the Effectiveness of Abstinence-Only Education – Sarah Palin
8:15 PM - Accidental Reference to "Obama bin Laden"
8:30 PM - Tribute to a "Nation of Whiners" – McCain Economic Adviser Phil Gramm
8:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
9:00 PM - Group Sing–Along: "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran"
9:15 PM - Mitt Romney Endorsement of Jockey Underwear
9:30 PM - Joke Interlude: McCain Tells the One About the Lawyer and the Catfish
9:45 PM - Rallying Call to "Drill Here, Drill Now," Followed by Unveiling of an Oil Rig on Speaker's Platform
10:00 PM - Halliburton Seminar: Profiting from the Next 100 Years of War in Iraq
10:15 PM - Parade of Alaskan Delegates Across Glitter-Encrusted Bridge to Nowhere, led by Sarah Palin
10:30 PM - Ceremonial Shattering of Glass Ceiling with Shotgun Blast Fired by Palin
11:00 PM - John McCain Acceptance Speech and Plea to Delegates to "Get Off My Lawns"
11:30 PM - Closing Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
12:00 AM - Rapture and Farewell to Bush and Cheney

[hvn_nbr_2]

1. Shouldn't that shotgun blast be from Cheney? Palin would use a carribou rifle. nt

[Frustratedlady]

2. Very Clever

I thought the restroom break, directly after Larry Craig's presentation was especially thoughtful and considerate.

Perhaps McGoo chose Palin more for her gun skills than her experience. Bush probably pointed out how safe he felt, knowing Cheney was nearby with his gun.