A jet ski in every barn, a capon in every pot, . . . and a CAPTION between every set of ears!!!!

[skip fox]

W. is saying: "Our citizens are difficulted with the right concerns around the wrongful topic of house prizes and gas at the automobile store getting oil marked up almost while they're still just pumping, which shows you in the eye that the Democratic Congress is asleeping even beneath these and other pressing issues. Yet we are facing challenges in that the unemployment rate is not quite better than healthy. In fact, our economy has resisted remarkable demonstrations otherwise. . . (blah, blah, blah)."

[skip fox]

1. Transcripts from today's press conference:

Q Should Americans expect a troop surge in Afghanistan?

PRESIDENT: We are surging troops in Afghanistan this way, and committed. We'll analyze the on-the-ground situation, of course, and bring conditions to bear upon our determination process as the boots thicken and the months follow each other. And then, of course, we've got to make sure the surge decision works in the future's strategy-making ability called the real world -- you know, have a decisionful counter-insurgency strategy that not only promotes further strategies for security but also provides follow-up strategies for after the initial strategy has been enhanced inclusively. . . . In other words, it's not easy. . . . Next.

[Solly Mack]

2. "Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little fuck"

[skip fox]

3. Transcripts hot off the smoking brain:

Q Afghan President Hamid Karzai has blamed Pakistan's intelligence services for a recent terrorist attack in his country, . . . Do you think the new President -- the new government in Pakistan is willing and is able to fight the terrorists?

THE PRESIDENT: First of all, we'll not question Karzai's investigation into the charge until we service his work to get to the allegation's bottom of this charge he is making to us. No instigation of a question, however, that everyday, ordinary extremists are parting ways with Pakistan coming through the hills Afghanistan in. And that's troubling to us in a disturbance way. We share a common enemy: That would be ordinary extremists who look like citizens of everday only foreign who use a disrupting violence to be needful in themselves, and all because of our freedoms.

[skip fox]

4. Transcripts keep pouring out:

PRESIDENT: let me start with Iraq. We're in the process of strategizing a formula for thinking about a framework for agreement with the Iraqi government that will converse to them about our cooperation on a variety of fronts -- diplomacy, economics, justice, learning how hard it is for them to drive taxi or runa convenience store, etc. Part of that conversational dialogue between us is about agreements in security, and I believe that -- you know, they want to have a raise-the-bar goal as to how quickly the what of transition we can be called on to overwatch while it all takes place. Overwatch will mean that our country will be learning to watch as they look to us and we are the mirror to which they might refer. See? Planning gets done. . . . Next.