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When I was a child, there was a popular rhyme that we used to say whenever anyone insulted us. As children, we didn't want to give the impression that we were sensitive to such things as name-calling, so we made sure that we pretended not to notice the words flung at us in playgrounds, on our own street, or anywhere else.
As everyone knows, though, we could recite our rhyme imperiously and yet still feel a pang of pain from it, no matter how much we protested.
As most of the name-calling came from our peers, it was less tormenting than when someone else, like an adult said something to us. Grown-ups were considered smart, and we tended to believe it when we were told we were stupid, naughty, or far worse. There is little doubt that many of us grew up with a lowered sense of self-esteem as a result.
But the talk on the playground still was nasty, especially when a phrase or word was repeated often enough, and came from enough different other kids to make an everlasting imprint.
As we've gotten older, and we hope wiser, we can look back at those days of yore and see how much of who we are was formed in those years. Sometimes phrases never go away at all--how many of us feel a knife through our heart when we're told we're too fat, too tall, too skinny, too short, too stupid, too obtuse or other, far more provocative insults?
Here on this planet, right now, there are no two of us alike--not even "identical" twins. Not only is this corroborated by a wide variety of forensic testing, but simply by talking with others, by engaging others in a conversation, that you can tell that everyone has their own agenda, their own way of thinking and their own way of dealing with the troubles and life events that come.
Earlier on this evening there was a thread which was about that most unlikeable harridan, Ann Coulter. Before there seemed to be a lot of discussion about Ms. Coulter, the postings deviated into a personal flame fest, mostly about the term "Mann Coulter." Yes, for quite some time now, Coulter has been referred to as such, and while for a time there didn't seem to be much objectionable to that among the posters here at DU, there finally were some people who did protest the phrase and felt that they were the targets of discrimination and prejudice.
There is a certain amount of inevitability regardless of the situation where there will always be someone who is offended no matter what is said. Gender roles right now are sensitive for the most part, because the far right has managed to instill a certain degree of intolerance in the general population. They have managed to make those with less traditional sexual behavior sound like alien abductors, or even worse--into demons or devils. They have managed to use their own brand of propaganda and hatred as a weapon--their aim, to splinter the many diverse and wonderfully heterogeneous groups on the left, who delight in their differences.
We know this, and we understand. We understand that those on the right have a great fear of us. We know that they take comfort in their sameness--their complete lack of diversity, their complete lack of a creativity and imagination. They are not happy people, ultimately. They are almost all carved out of the same stone, and they revel in their purely toxic frame of mind.
This is one of the more obvious problems right now in the country. The divide between right and left, conservatives and liberals is not so much about our issues and difference in opinion--it's more about whether we were the bullies--or the bullied--when we were kids.
Their brand of name-calling is all about hatred and instigating trouble. It made them kings and queens of the playground where they were kids, and sustained their distorted thinking all the way to adulthood.
But as we all know, some of them were raised to believe that name-calling was okay. They're the ones whose parents tormented them with verbal abuse, or physical abuse, or even worse. They grew up to think that the way to succeed in life was to lord over everyone and show no soft underbelly. They were taught to take the punishment and thrive on it. Even if inside, they had this tiny little self that wanted to be told that they were loved, who wanted to be held and feel the warmth of a loved one.
We, on the other hand, might have had similar upbringings, but that little self inside of us somehow knew that we were loved and didn't need the same amount of reinforcement to prove it. Our acceptance of others in our lives was built on a different level--we were most likely able to express love and accept it, even if the words weren't always there.
Personally, the names I prefer to call Ms. Coulter are far more in keeping with her shrewish behavior and temperament, but we must all accept that regardless of any other factors, we all have our own personal terms to call someone who is taunting us and showing the bully inside of them. Ms. Coulter excels in incendiary terminology that shows her true nature, but really, folks--she's really not even worth our time obsessing about. We know her type, and we know more about her kind of nastiness than she will ever know about us. She will disappear like a Cheshire Cat over the course of the next two years as her brand of hatred is brought into the light. And in the full light of day, she will find she doesn't have much to say.
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