And an Irish joke as the 17th is approaching.

[lonestarnot]

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth,
sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk
continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side
either!!!"

[Warpy]

1. Liam and Mick were working down in the sewers

when Mick got a bit warm and removed his jacket. It slipped off the pipe he'd hung it on and fell into the water.

Mick clambered down the ladder and started wading after it.

Says Liam, "Sure, yer not going to wear it in that condition!"

Says Mick, "Of course not, but me lunch is in the pocket!"

[lonestarnot]

3. Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan

arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". " Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda, There was an accident
down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda he fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and
drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go
quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee!"

[Warpy]

5. "Go to father," she said, when he asked her to wed

For she knew that he knew that her father was dead,
And she knew that he knew what a life he had led,
So she knew that he knew what she meant when she said,
"Go to father."

[NightWatcher]

2. two Irish guys walk out of a bar...

good one, Irishmen leaving a bar, :rofl:

[Reader Rabbit]

4. Riddle: What do you call an Irishman sitting out by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture.

:P

[TahitiNut]

7. That's "What's Irish and stays out all night?"

It's the only "ethnc" joke I tell.

[lonestarnot]

16. I give.

:toast:

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

6. Curoisity... (Racist Humor)

How many black jokes were posted on DU in the month of February?

[catnhatnh]

8. Lighten up, Dude....

This is the way of my people.....

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

10. They aint just your people..

Im Irish, my kids are half Irish and racist humor is *not* funny.

[lonestarnot]

12. And bus seats suck alot of ass!

[Missy Vixen]

19. I'm half Irish

and I'm laughing.

Julie

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

20. Oh so if I can dig up...

A large number of Chinese Americans who would laugh at racist humor aimed at them I can put up a thread on DU and expect it to stick?

Id like my kids experience of Irish and Irish American culture to not be drunk jokes and lucky charms thank you very much..

[lonestarnot]

22. Fine don't let your children read the fucking thread.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

25. Whatever, nice language...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

But instead of the poetic spirit of the Irishman lets focus on his drinking habits, they make for a better punchline...

[Missy Vixen]

26. You'd best get busy, then

>Id like my kids experience of Irish and Irish American culture to not be drunk jokes and lucky charms thank you very much..<

You'll have quite a time stamping out those St. Patrick's Day observances around the country (celebrated with copious amounts of Guinness and green beer,) and the fact that the vast majority of people can laugh at themselves...

To advance your argument, Chris Rock makes jokes about African-American people. Does this mean he's a racist?

Julie

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

29. Nothing wrong with the Pub culture

Its not the binge drinking fest that everyone thinks the Irish are more prone to than anyone else..

As to St Patty's day.. We celebrate it as we would Thanks Giving, family meal fun and thanks... And yes Ill have a Guiness or two that day..

--

As to Chris rock... If hale his jokes were posted here they would be torn down in a NY second..

[Sal Minella]

33. If Chinese-Americans want to post Chinese-American jokes, who are you to stop them???

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

34. Oh so its only Irish people posting jokes here?

Glad youre an insider...

[lonestarnot]

21. Yeah!

:applause: May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows yer dead! :toast:

[irish.lambchop]

37. For pete's sake!

I'm Irish, live there half the year, and if you think these are "racist", you should hear the jokes the Irish tell about themselves! Don't go there and mix with the locals or you'll be offended at every turn.

[slampoet]

28. It is not the way of OUR people. Irish in Ireland joke about ALL people not just the drunk Irish.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

30. And many African Americans use the *N* word all the time...

Is it ok for others?

[slampoet]

32. if you stop your shit stirring you'll see that I agree with you.

ALL humor is offensive to someone.


But if it is spread around to everyone then it makes for a good evening.


Read some George Carlin or Mel brooks or PD Wodehouse or Punch and Judy if you don't think that any good humor can be offensive.

But that fact is that the Irish and any other ethnicity doesn't tell jokes about just their own plight, they tell jokes about Everybody's plight.. it is the limiting of it to just one ethnicity that is racist.

[Sal Minella]

36. Heh. You should hear what the SCOTS have to say about you guys......

Just kidding. I'm perfectly aware that the Irish gave the Scots the bagpipe as a joke, and the Scots just haven't caught on yet.....

[lonestarnot]

11. A spoiler in every fucking crowd.

:eyes: If you can't laugh at yourself, then who the fuck can you laugh at?

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

13. Oh Ill contribute..

Gash them drunk Irish sure are a funny lot! And you hear how many kids those dirty savages have? /sarc

[lonestarnot]

14. You find that amusing? humorous?

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

15. As amusing as drunk Irish jokes...

Sorry I thought the sarcasm was laid on thick enough to alleviate the need for a tag... Ill edit for the obtuse..

[Warpy]

17. Well, that's the soul of Irish humor right there

and if it pisses you off, then you've been living among WASPs long enough to have forgotten where you came from.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

18. Im just asking

How long would a black joke thread last on DU?

[Warpy]

23. Different culture

which you'd know if you'd been raised in an Irish community.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

27. I was raised in a very Irish community

95% Irish steel / auto workers in my youth..

I understand there is a place for this humor in Irish circles and I can spin them with the best of you were I around my family... Still to do so in mixed company is like a white person uttering the *N* word... For too long people outside of the Irish race used such stereo types to keep the Irish down.

My great grandmother was so ashamed of being Irish she would berate her siblings for their brogue, can you imagine? The Irish brogue is one of the best accents in the entire English speaking world.. My Mother (who was half German and Catholic) got crap for marrying an Irish Catholic 'Drunk'...

[lonestarnot]

24. Go watch redsocks.

[alfredo]

9. A man's been drinking at a pub all night.

When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face.
Finally he decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up.
This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed.
The next morning he awakens to see his wife standing over him, shouting: "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

31. Pat & Mike are passing the church..

Pat says to mike, "I'll go and make me confession."
Mike: Right you are, I'll wait.
Pat: Father I've sinned. I've committed adultery with a married woman.
Father: Oh, Pat that's terrible. Who was it then?
Pat: I can't tell, father, I promised.
Father: You must tell me Pat.
Pat: No, father, I mustn't.
Father. Was it Mrs, Murphy?
Pat: No, father.
Father: Was it Mrs. Hagen?
Pat: Oh, no, father.
Father: Was it Mrs. O'Reilly?
Pat: Oh, never, father. Not Mrs. O'Reilly.
Father: If you won't tell, Pat, then I can't give you absolution.
Pat: Well, I can't father.

Mike: Well, Pat, did you get your absolution?
Pat: No...but I got 3 great leads.

[Uncle Joe]

35. This isn't an Irish joke but I like it. What do you get if you mix a Pit Bull with Lassie?

Scroll down for answer.




























A dog that will rip your arm off and then go for help.