Re: Spitzer. I'm sick of seeing the wives standing by their husbands.

[Kceres]

For once, I'd like to see the wife tell her husband, "It's not my dirty little secret, you hypocrite. Go face the music by yourself." What is it with these political wives? How humiliating. What kind of man would ask his wife to endure such public humiliation and what kind of woman would stand beside her lying, cheating, hypocritical, douche of a husband?

:banghead:

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. In my opinion, it is a wife's choice. Whether she stands by her husband

or not isn't at issue with me. That is where it becomes personal business.

My only issue with these things ever is when it becomes a public issue as in the case of Mr. Spitzer being caught up in the very thing he prosecuted. What Mrs. Spitzer does or doesn't do is not of my concern.

[madaboutharry]

6. I agree, it is up to them.

Maybe they do it for the kids.

[soresaa191]

130. for the kids? what kind of example is that?

if it was me in that situation, I wouldn't want to show my kids an example of yielding to the man and standing by someone who is so morally corrupt as to break the vows of marriage, demonstrate hypocrisy, and especially do something illegal. My mom has demonstrated that she would leave my father at the drop of a hat should he wrong her and it has taught me to be strong like her.
No matter how much I loved someone, I won't stand for bullshit like this.

[mondo joe]

131. Every relationship is different. Every family is different.

There's no point in judging the most personal choices of others.

[joeybee12]

61. Agreed...we know nothing of their marriage and they might have

already dealt with this prior to today's announcement and she decided she would stick with him earlier than today.

[bluedawg12]

64. Yeah, I'm sure in the heat of the moment they made informed decisions

First betrayed, then hurt, then shell shocked.

[joeybee12]

68. Read my post...this could have happened a while back...

...she might not have decided to stand by him today...and even if she did, it's her own freakin' business.

[SoCalDem]

97. supposedly, he was "told" on Friday.. so I doubt she's had much time

to absorb it all..

Happy Valentine's Day, honey.. ..btw.. I got busted got using hookers...

[LostinVA]

93. Yep -- I'm not going to judge what a wife does or does not do

No one knows their marriage, but them.

[Hieronymus]

114. It cost him a hell of a lot more money to have his wife standing there ..

than all the hookers he's hired.

[Midlodemocrat]

138. Agreed. We know nothing about their relationship and shouldn't judge.

[FourScore]

153. Maybe they paid for a threesome...

:shrug:


Jus sayin'...

[Liberal Veteran]

2. Oooo....that's gonna piss off some HRC supporters.

:D

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

100. Why?

As a Clinton supporter, I find the post a good contribution. It's revealing of a view that doesn't often reveal itself. :-)

[TheCowsCameHome]

3. That is strange. I don't know how they do it. Or why.

[hisownpetard]

140. Me, neither. I men, I can understand if, for whatever reasons, they decide to stay together

in the long run. But to stand there, at his side, as he confesses to his illegal sex escapades
with a prostitute? Why???

To me, it's self-denigrating behavior and shows a blind loyalty that the husband no longer deserves.
It's painful to see.

[Nitrogenica]

4. Hillary stood by her man.

[Breeze54]

132. No, she didn't. She wasn't at that press conference.

nope... was missing that day.

[Annces]

5. Marriage is often partly about finances

Not just romance. And why judge people on how they handle either of those.

[ingac70]

7. If he were my husband...

I would have started smacking him and screaming obscenities at the press conference.

[youthere]

144. Smacking, obscenities..AND I'd make damn sure...

everyone left that PC convinced he had the tiniest prick in history...that whole "woman scorned" thing you know.

[Warpy]

8. Long marriages are different

and caring spouses, no matter how wounded, will still stand by their partners in times of adversity.

People who have never faced it will never understand it. People who have, will.

[Kceres]

26. So, the longer I am married, the more shit I will take from my hubby?

Hope not. I've been married a long time, but I still possess my very own sense of pride and honor.

[Warpy]

49. No, the better you'll understand where the shit comes from

and that it isn't always about you.

[EFerrari]

56. Exactly. n/t

[Skittles]

35. adversity is one thing

paying to fuck and degrade a woman is another

[Warpy]

47. Yes, we all know that when a man does

that to a woman, it degrades her. Women can't possibly have sex and still be worth anything.

:sarcasm:

[SoCalDem]

98. The women he liked were apparently worth $5K an hour

:ducks: :P

[emilyg]

50. I understand.

[KharmaTrain]

90. Well Stated...

30 plus years here...we share a lot that can't be explained...a combination of collective history, ability to accept each other's quirkiness and always being best friends. It's an intimacy that endures.

[Mojorabbit]

99. You are right

Been there, done that.

[hisownpetard]

108. Not this one! I was with my husband for 34 years but was done, the day I found out he was having

an affair. Over. Sayonara.

How Spitzer's poor wounded wife could stand next to him I just don't know. To me, that much self-effacement just obliterates her soul,
until there's nothing left of her.

I feel sorry for her and for their three daughters, but I wish these political wives, in situation like this, would say, "Hey, you're on your own, Pal."

Unless, of course, he was paying her $5,500.00 for doing it.

[Warpy]

109. A fling with a hooker is not an affair

because there is no emotional threat to the marriage. BIG difference.

[eridani]

112. Marriages in the affluent class are different too

The perks of being married to one of the haves and have mores can be worth quite a bit, up to the point of being physically abused.

[CTyankee]

127. I see it a little differently. Standing by a partner during a time of adversity suggests

something they face together, as in a foreclosure or a devastating illness. Deceit and betrayal of trust by one partner upon the other becomes something else. By definition, it is not a shared adversity. IN such a situation, a woman and her children's financial well being is undermined. In my personal experience, the partner did not over time improve his behavior and it even grew worse, not better. I took responsibility because the partner wouldn't. It wasn't easy toughing it out, but when the other partner just blows you and the kids off, well, you simply MUST take action to turn things around.

So yes, I faced something like this, so I do know...

[Warpy]

145. So did I. It wasn't about me.

It was about HIM.

[CTyankee]

146. What should be about you or others in this predicament is

what they need to do to maximize their chance at a full life again, not a life where crumbs of affection are all you get, if that. I think the injured party needs to get on with life. It is not productive, IMO, to not have an emotionally fulfilling life with a new, more devoted partner...or no partner at all if that is one's choice. Better that than a hurtful, emotionally stunted life...

[Bicoastal]

9. (Mayor of LA) Antonio Villaragosa's wife divorced him.

In fact, she publicly left him before the story had even completely unfolded. Of couse, he'd done it before (though not as mayor) and she stuck by him then.

Apparently, she had enough--and you do realize he took half of her last name when he married her, right?

No way will he run for Governor now...

[cherokeeprogressive]

80. Tony Villar's wife didn't stick with him in 94

when she was being treated for thyroid cancer and he left town with the wife of a friend after winning his Assembly seat. In fact, she filed for divorce the day after the election if you believe Wiki.

Cheated on his wife while she was being treated for cancer... hmmm... where have I heard that one before?

[uppityperson]

Judge not lest you be judged. Or some such.

I am sure that happens. But, I cannot pass judgement on others who chose to support their political spouses in public.

[npincus]

11. Amen.

[Kceres]

22. I'm not judging her, or any of them for that matter.

I only really, really want to know what makes these women tick. And, I'm just really mad.

[mondo joe]

53. What are you so mad about? He didn't cheat on you.

It's between them. She's not a class of people - she's a person.

[uppityperson]

86. What are you really mad about? serious question.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

142. Perhaps coz it makes Spitzer's life less than 100% miserable. Y'know, All Punishment Must Be Maximum

[CTyankee]

139. Passing judgment is one thing; taking personal responsibility for your

own and your children's emotional and financial well-being is another. Facing harsh realities does not necessarily mean passing judgment. In this kind of case, each woman needs to figure out what is best for those the guy has chosen to ignore in pursuit of his own private gain (which can be physical as well as financial).

[npincus]

10. in her defense, I'll bet she was just told and is in a state of utter shock

at the total collapse of her world as she knew it and the public humiliation of it all.

[jgraz]

12. She doesn't have anything to defend. Spitzer's a worm for even asking her to be there

[EFerrari]

58. We don't know that he did ask. We're not in that marriage. n/t

[ingac70]

14. Like McGreevy's wife...

She said that was her condition at his press conference.

[Muttocracy]

154. she had an editorial in NYTimes just now:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/12/opinion/12mcgreevey.html

[JohnnyLib2]

34. Your reply makes the most sense, IMO. Shock stage.

She'll face the real decisions over months.

[Klukie]

54. I have to agree with you....

If you saw the look on her face, you could see that her world was imploding.

[eilen]

121. She looked like hell

This is a luminous beautiful, vibrant woman, she looked like she aged 10 years and had no sleep. I'm sending her good vibes for strength to get through this. E. Spitzer is such an asshole.

[Muttocracy]

155. I know - someone on a diff. thread criticized the way she looked at one of the press conferences

and I posted the link to her website to show how she usually looks - it DOES look like she's been crying for days :(

[rocktivity]

13. You're looking swell, Spitzie, I can tell, Spitzie...

and your missus is positively aglow with loyalty and devotion!



:eyes:
rocknation

[NC_Nurse]

24. On a side note, she looks kinda like Jen Aniston....doesn't she?

I feel for her, whether it was her decision to be there or not. It's gotta suck. :(

[rocktivity]

43. His wife looks like Jennifer Anniston and he looks elsewhere...

Well, thanks a million for the hypocrisy and bad press, Spitzie! And I'm sure Hillary is thrilled about this, too!

:crazy:
rocknation

[hisownpetard]

137. Noticed that, too. Strong similarity.

[Muttocracy]

152. She's usually beautiful in pictures - you can tell how sad she is by the contrast

http://www.ny.gov/governor/photos/firstlady.html

[Thepricebreaker]

15. Stepford Wives are only republicans (rolls eyes) - She should kick him in the nuts.

[BuyingThyme]

16. She might not care.

[ingac70]

19. Even if she doesn't care if he messed around...

I bet she cares it was with a hooker and that he got busted.

[BuyingThyme]

25. I don't know. I suspect Hooker's can be conveniently impersonal.

But, yes, I suspect she would prefer that he hadn't been busted.

[Kceres]

40. It's not the prostitution that bothers me.

Personally, I think prostitution should be legalized. And God knows what goes on in their marriage is between the two of them. It's just the blatant hypocrisy. In his professional life her husband is known to be tough as nails on prosecuting hookers, yet in his private life he has paid a hooker over $4,000 for services? So she supposed to go stand beside him now while he apologizes for his "mistakes."

[cherokeeprogressive]

83. I would certainly care if he was spending $4300 a pop to screw someone

other than me, his legal wife.

I guess that's okay though, if he has a D next to his name and is one of the favored few.

All the spin is giving me something I've never suffered from before: Motion Sickness.

[Birthmark]

17. Funny you should mention that.

I told my wife today that in the remote event that I'm ever involved in a sex scandal that she should send me out alone...unless it was really kinky and she was involved. :)

[kimsterdemster]

18. really...

kick his ass to the curb, respect yorself & the kids will respect you.

[saltpoint]

20. I'm thinking that these folks are husband and wife first, then public figures

second.

There are private protocols and public protocols.

It's always their choice, though.

[Slagathor]

21. She's weak

No respect for her.

[Karenina]

23. How DARE you second guess her.

FU.

[Slagathor]

27. She's weak. Weak. Weak. Weak.

Next time you're rude to me...

[Karenina]

29. Tschüß!

:hi:

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

31. The proverbial sh*t has just hit the fan. She has 3 children to think about and is most likely

still in shock. Please have some compassion for this woman. She looked like a woman in mourning, which I am sure she is.

[AGirl]

33. i put the children first. I want them to have a father. I want to forgive, if i was the wife.

It's not about being weak.

[Kceres]

44. Would you have said the same thing if he'd broken her arm?

Forgive, stay together for the children?

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

70. But he didn't break her arm, he cheated on her which I am sure is devistating for her,

but how can you equate that with physical abuse? No where are the children in danger from being physically harmed.

When the dust settles some marriages actually survive infidelity. If this wasn't so high profile, I'm sure it would have a fighting chance. He had sex with a prostitute, not with someone whom he was in love with.

[emilyg]

52. They have 3 children. Don't you dare judge.

[Slagathor]

147. I totally dare judge

she's weak.

[EFerrari]

75. No, you are for judging someone going through this. n/t

[Raejeanowl]

105. You Have No Idea What You're Talking About n/t

[LanternWaste]

124. What some people see as 'weak', others may see as forgiveness

What some people see as 'weak', others may see as forgiveness. And all other things being equal, it usually takes far more courage to forgive a person than it does to leave a person...

[Slagathor]

148. Forgiveness is for rubes

really. he's obviously a compensated psychopath. why forgive him?

[LostinVA]

126. You don't know what their situation is

Only they do.

[AGirl]

28. maybe they have an "OPEN RELATIONSHIP"

[THUNDER HANDS]

30. she didn't exactly look like she was happy to be there

she looked like she was about to cry.

[IamyourTVandIownyou]

32. He's gettin' an earful now.

lol.

[Thothmes]

62. He will dine on a diet of hot tongue and cold shoulder for a long time.

[Prism]

36. We don't know what she's thinking

She looked like she was in total shock during the press conference. When your entire life starts crumbling around the edges and you have to go through it in full public view, oftentimes the instinctual response is to go through the motions, stick with the pattern, do what the outlines suggest. "Support husband. *nod nod* We'll work through it *nod nod* Appear at press conference *nod nod*"

Assuming she wasn't aware of her husband's behavior, I imagine it's going to be a lot worse over the coming days and weeks as reality sets in and she allows herself to feel aggrieved, betrayed, and lied to. Once it hits her fully, I cannot imagine the pain that will attend it.

For now, all I can do is look at the pictures from the press conference, her eyes cold and lifeless, and think "That poor woman."

[rateyes]

39. How do we know, however, that

she doesn't have something going on the side? :shrug:

[Prism]

45. We don't, but . . .

. . . I try to err on the side of caution with these sorts of things. We have no idea what goes on in their marriage or what the dynamics of the relationship might be.

No matter what they are, it's still never fun to have the minutae of your relationship picked over by a nation of 300 million people. I know nothing of this woman, and yet here we are speculating about her judgement, her honesty, potentially her own sex life, etc.

It's not like she's the one who committed the alleged crime.

[VermeerLives]

89. Agree -- we do not know what's going on behind the scenes

We should not be judging her right now -- she must certainly be in shock, and how embarassing to have to endure this publicly. I really have alot of compassion for her (and their daughters). She is going to need emotional support to get through this.

I will certainly understand, however, if she decides to get out of the marriage. It would take quite alot to be able to trust this man again, if ever. We also do not know what other issues there may have been in the marriage and/or if she has suspected her husband of infidelity in the past, but I'm sure she is experiencing quite a myriad of emotions right now.

[Mojorabbit]

103. Yes and add to that the

doctors appointment to be tested for stds which will add to the humiliation and emotional pain. I heard on tv tonight his three girls are teenagers. Add to that what they will be feeling when they go to school. She looked devestated. I feel awful for her.

[samplegirl]

37. Store bought women!!!!!!!!

[rateyes]

38. My wife would not be standing beside me, and when

I went to sleep, she would pull a "Lorena Bobbitt" using a butter knife. And, instead of disposing of it where it could be found (assuming a dog didn't find it first), she would put it down the garbage disposal.

I hear you.

[mondo joe]

41. I figure it's between them. No one understands a marriage other than the people in it.

I can't think why it would bother anyone else so much.

[devilgrrl]

42. A lot men in power like doormats for wives - same goes for professional athletes.

Most of them are eye candy - little more. Sure, that's an awful broad brush but oh well.

[NaturalHigh]

46. I don't really see how that's anyone's business but the spouses involved.

I would have respected her choice either way.

[TroglodyteScholar]

48. Maybe she loves him. n/t

[alarimer]

51. I couldn't do it.

I'd probably be tempted to yell "FUCK YOU" during the press conference.

[AlCzervik]

55. Mrs. Spitzer can handle this whatever way she see's fit imo, i wouldn't switch places

with her for anything. I feel bad for her children and for her.

[MrSlayer]

57. Like being married to a rock star, other women are part of the deal.

They all know it and they all accept it. Don't think for a minute that these political wives do not understand what being married to a man of power means, they do. It's all part of the bigger, better deal. Hillary Clinton knew forever that Bill was a horndog and it was an accepted part of their relationship, she just gets mad when he gets caught because of the effect it might have on their political careers. If she was really that concerned about it, she'd make sure never to send him out with a loaded gun.

[bluedawg12]

65. Yup, rock stars who bust prostitution rings?- she sent him out?

WTF?- unload the gun by hand before you run to the ATM to pay for the goods.

[undeterred]

59. Maybe there's a class on it, taught by Hillary.

[CTyankee]

60. Can't speak for her but NO I would not be there if it were to happen to me.

I would tell him he's on his own, that I've got my own thinking to do about this, and to please go away. I would not stand by his side. That show left town. He made the mess and by god he'll have to clean it up the best he can. I would spend my time more creatively: thinking of how I could improve my situation. A divorce, how much to demand in support for kids and me, what I'd get in the settlement (do I want the house or do I want to get my own place?). All sorts of questions to ask about what is right for me and the kids, not HIM!

[Kceres]

66. Exactly. Beautifully said. Thanks.

Many surprising responses to my first thread!

[CTyankee]

125. Here's another way of saying it:

He did not protect her and his own daughters against what damage he did to a career whose financial fortune they depended on. Why should she protect him? It is against her own best interests.

Again, I stress that I am not speaking for her. I am looking at what he has done to her and the family, not just to her emotionally (which is bad enough) but to those who must rely on him to be a responsible husband and dad.

We don't really know what she will do down the line. Yesterday she looked like she was in shock so I think it will take her a little time to get her bearings. We shall see...

[Triana]

111. Exactly what CTyankee said ...

..is what I'd personally do - but she apparently is choosing differently. Whatever...it is her choice.

[bluedawg12]

63. They drag thier wives down the same toilet they jumped into

poor Mrs. Spitzer looked like she was very unhappy being there. I felt bad she was trotted out for the humiliation.

[Generator]

67. I know

if the wives were seated ON their husbands this would never happen in the first place. Let's face it, the wives are always at fault anyway. (husband at other computer, "well, basically yeah.")

[NashVegas]

69. Please Wait Until Facts Come Out

And I've got a feeling they will. MSNBC just hinted what was going on.

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

71. Only useful if they say "He was using a gift certificate I bought for him."

Otherwise the message is "I'm standing by this sorry sack of sh*t until I figure out Alternate Plan B."

[Canuckistanian]

72. It's almost like a ritual these days

Polititican gets caught with his pants down.

Quick! Call a press conference! The wife stands here, quiet and looking down at her shoes while the politician stands there...

It's almost like the whole thing was rehearsed in advance......

[stillcool]

73. Political Etiquette?

it must be written in the rules somewhere. They all do it. Perception is everything.

[Chovexani]

74. I don't pass judgment on either of them

Not my marriage, none of my business. The only way it is anyone's business but theirs is if he was breaking the law while he was supposed to be upholding it. :shrug:

I will never understand the way people love to get all in other people's relationships. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

[EFerrari]

76. Are you kidding? They get all over other people's hair cuts

why not their wives? :shrug:

[mondo joe]

78. The one difference I can see is that a haircut is trivial. This is a significant and very personal

matter.

[Chovexani]

81. LOL. People are so weird.

I mean, I understand it on one level because people are nosy bastards and love to offer unsolicited opinions on the most trivial of things, but I don't understand it in the sense that I've never had that mentality. I don't get it. :crazy:

[EFerrari]

82. People shouldn't care about anything that isn't important

to me.

:rofl:

[mondo joe]

77. Absolutely. You'd think he was cheating on some posters, based on their reaction.

No one knows their marriage but them.

[EFerrari]

79. Marriage isn't only St. Valentine's Day.

Married people are also business partners in a way. She has to protect that, no matter how she feels right now.

And, for all we know, they had an agreement. It's their marriage, not yours.

[IdClaire]

84. very sad for their family and we shouldn't judge her!

Like the others have said, she probably WAS in a state of shock. Honestly, I too am sick of seeing yet another wife of some official standing there with those looks on their faces. But I'm not mad at her about it. Its his F&CKING fault. It takes GRACE to stand there. She has a long history with this man and more importantly, three children. Spitzer obviously has some kind of emotional problem, maybe he can't help but sabotage himself. Self hatred. Who knows. He'd make an interesting psych patient.

[CTyankee]

136. This morning on GMA a psychiatrist said it was a problem in his

prefrontal lobe, or something like that. Like a loose wire in his brain. Hubby and I were snorting in our laughter at that one...:rofl:

[Contrary1]

85. As a married woman,

and speaking for only myself...I would much prefer my husband being caught with a prostitute or call girl, as opposed to a mistress or another man.

Of course, I would prefer him doing none of the above. Just saying.

[UTUSN]

87. K&R for, me TOO!1 n/t

[bdamomma]

88. so Spitzer may step down because of this, and McCain is still

running for President, double standard, makes you wonder huh? targeting Dems perhaps?? The story about McCain got ditched very quickly, plus he has a very explosive personality.

[KharmaTrain]

91. Well If You Can Get The FBI To Tap McCain's Calls...

I'd sure be interested what his late night chats with Vicki Iseman were all about. At best it would be about sex...at worst, it would be another deal to favor an Iseman client.

If Spitzer did what he's accused of, this goes beyond partisan...it's a crime and one that deserved to be investigated and let the chips fall where they way. He played fast and loose and should have known better. There's no equivelency here, just more stupidity and arrogance. A good man who thought he was smarter than everyone else...and got caught.

If anything this is where a higher standard has to take hold. If Spitzer is indicted, he should step down..it's not the sex here, but the crime. As far as the sex, let the voters of the State Of New York be the judges of that.

Gramnps married into money, but dare I say we could find many more on both sides of the aisle who've done the same thing.

Cheers...

[Thepricebreaker]

94. McCain slept with a pro? How is this the same?

[ingac70]

107. McCain wasn't a paying for hookers. n/t

[SocratesInSpirit]

92. You know, I was wondering the same thing!

If I was in that situation, there's no way I'd be able to maintain any sort of composure, let alone stand quietly on a dais, my misery meekly on display as my husband gave his statement. Hell, I wouldn't trust myself to come within 50 feet of my husband without wanting to rip him to shreds. I think I'd probably just seclude myself with supportive family and friends.

Edit: Just to be clear, I'm not trying to pass judgment on her or deride her.

[femrap]

95. It would be refreshing to see some

honesty....but if she weren't there, then she would become the story. I am waiting for the day when a married woman politician has an affair with some hot looking man...I want to see what her hubby does???? Double Standard would appear again.

Vitters wife was the creepiest though....they had her dress up like a prostitute in this leopard wrap dress and lots of makeup....It was sick. Of course he's sick. Pays someone to put him in diapers so he can shit himself...AND THE SICK FUCK IS STILL IN THE US SENATE!!!!

We couldn't make this shit up.

Spitzer has three daughters as well...I don't know how young they are, but that's really sad. I hope one of them kicks him in the nuts.

[EFerrari]

102. You have no idea if she is being honest or not

and, what business is it of yours?

Really, what's creepy is how fast some people jump on these couples.

[femrap]

151. Listen,

I meant 'honesty' in a 'you dumb ass jerk...how stupid can you get for risking your job and the livelihood that is going to put these 3 thru college?' kind of way.

Geez...

WTF is with DU of late...?? At one time you were actually civil to me. The Impeach on the Beach???

Fuck it...just another name of the Ignore List....soon I can the place all to myself.

[SoCalDem]

96. A-MEN !!

These creeps are not exactly thinking of the wives as they are arranging for hookers...are they? and yet when they get caught, they have to drag the cheated-on wife out there with them and make her share in the humiliation..:grr:

I would like to see just ONE of them, push him out of the way, and say..

"This guy's an ASSHOLE & I'm divorcing him"..and then walk out.

This sends a HORRIBLE message to the kids too (usually teenagers).. that Moms have to "suck it up" and just take whatever shit Dad drags into their lives..and that no matter WHAT you do to a spouse to publically humiliate them, they should forgive and support you..

[EFerrari]

104. Just because this lady didn't do it for your consumption

doesn't mean she won't do it or consider it or not consider it.

:wtf:

[mondo joe]

106. I don't see why women's personal choices like this are put up for public criticism.

It's her marriage, it's her choice.

For some reason women's choice are deemed public - whether it's abortion, clothing, abortion, having sex, not having sex and even god damn breast feeding.

Women are subjected to this crap by both men and other women.

[Control-Z]

119. I just don't get it..

How does one justify attacking this woman at a time when what she needs is support, probably more than ever before in her life? As if she's not going through enough? We need to rip her apart for having the strength to maintain a small amount of grace in public?

So I guess it would have been better, for some, if she had scratched his eyes out on camera.

[mondo joe]

122. Exactly. As your sig line says: Trust Women. I don't second guess women's choices on abortion,

so why would I second guess this?

People have to make choices and sometimes those choices are difficult and even painful.

I hope Mrs. Spitzer fares well.

[SayitAintSo]

101. AMEN!!!! n/t

[Triana]

110. $$$$ - Marriage is a business contract and meant to provide...

...a secure framework and financial support for raising kids. It's mutual enslavement - at least legally and financially - or mutual parasitism - whatever you want to call it.

Remove all the 'romantic' ideas about what it really is and it's easy to see why and how they stay. Why not? She can't lose anything that was never there to begin with. She probably deems it unworthy of disrupting her fine life for.

She *could* gain an STD though and THAT - combined with his likely lies by omission and his dishonesty about it (slithering around with a prostitute) - would be enough for me personally to never allow that dickhead to ever touch me again. And as far as the finances - let's just say he wouldn't have a leg to stand on (especially THAT leg) in the ensuing divorce proceedings. I would see that he was financially castrated, at least. But that's ME.

Anyway, maybe Mrs. Spitzer likes the money and doesn't want to give up her dream house, nice cars, financial security, or doesn't want to disrupt her life over it and chooses to live with it instead. Then there's the humiliation...but that'll die down over time and she'll still have her nice stuff and nice life and a really nice big bat that he gave her to browbeat him with for the rest of their natural lives.

He's an idiot, for sure. And she - well sometimes it's probably easier and less disruptive to the flow of money and security to just stand by and LET him be. He'll be paying for thinking with the wrong head for the rest of his life professionally and personally. And, heck, she might enjoy that.

Who knows?

[CTyankee]

129. I see your point, but it seems to me that staying in the marriage doesn't guarantee

anything financially and may even be the WRONG choice from a financial point of view. He is headed for political disaster and it may be a disaster on his finances. If the guy comes from a moneyed family, which Spitzer does, she could get a nice settlement now, invest her money wisely AND be freed up to find a life with someone else who really cares for her. I can't see the happiness in staying in a loveless marriage. There is something to be said for having a relationship that is a comfort to you, emotionally and physically.

[Control-Z]

113. How can you possibly judge another woman's marriage

or think you know better than she how best to handle adversity when it arises? There is no right or wrong answer that fits all women. I'm a little stunned by your post and by some of the responses.

Edit: for clarity

[Skittles]

115. personally, it would be between him, me and a baseball bat

but I don't like to second-guess the personal decisions of others - perhaps for the kids; who knows

[lonestarnot]

116. Thank you! I agree most emphatically!

:applause:

[girl_interrupted]

117. Vitter was paying for prostitutes

And after his apology, his republican Senate members gave him a standing ovation on his return. I think some of the wives stand by because they understand the political ramifications. To them , it might not just be the marriage, but what agenda their husband was trying to get through. If they believe in that strongly, they may not want to see that fail too. No one really knows what goes on in peoples marriages. Mc Greevy's wife stood by him at first, but later divorced him. So who knows and really...who cares?

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

118. It depends...

Its the wifes choice, I know a woman whos husband had an affair and left her months after their first kid was born. While she never *ever* gave him a pass on what he did she did try to reconcile, this was a man she fell in love with (and he fell in love with her) they just had some massive (and mutual) problems adjusting to having kids..

I think there are two reasons which are beyond question a reason for a boot in the ass...

Physical or Emotional Abuse <- This just about requires is
Physical or Emotional Infidelity <- Its up to the hurt party

--

As for asking his wife to be there, I agree *massively tacky*

[Hekate]

120. EXACTLY what I thought when I saw Mrs. Spitzer standing there looking shellshocked...

They all probably do it out of sheer force of habit, I think. They've always been hubby's prop, and continue to do so even when the roof falls in. But what a stupid pattern it has come to be. I'd pretty much like for these bozos to have to face the cameras ALONE.

Stupid Gov. Spitzer. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What possesses these guys?

Hekate

[LanternWaste]

123. A forgiving one...

"what kind of woman would stand beside her lying, cheating, hypocritical, douche of a husband?"

A forgiving one...

Who are we to propose otherwise?

[iamthebandfanman]

128. i dont understand it either

people call the woman strong for staying, but i see the opposite.

anybody who would put their own feelings and emotions aside in a marriage to help someone politically shoulda never been married in the first place.

[0007]

133. At least Mrs. Spitzer had a nice looking dress on. Mrs. Vitter

looked more like one of Spitzer's girl that came up from the hard times in New Orleans.

[mondo joe]

135. Mrs Vitter also had the little problem of having made pompous declarations about others' marriages

and infidelities.

[Breeze54]

134. I suspect shock and her family are weighing heavily on her mind at the time.

Sometimes they've looked just as surprised by what the cheat

says when they say make that announcement.

They have also looked pretty sad. Perhaps they just found out too?

I wouldn't be condemning them unless you've walked in their shoes.

[aikoaiko]

141. Relationships are complicated.

As far as I can tell, there are very few perfect LONGTERM relationships where no one compromises on something important or fails the other in some significant way. Many of have some bottom lines in our relationships, but they're different for different folks.

[mondo joe]

143. I know of at least one couple that survived an infidelity and have now been

together for more a decade since, and seem very happy. I know what happened with them because they were friensd of ours before, during and after.

I suspect there are more I know of about whom I don't know that sort of thing.

[NanBo]

149. if they want to stay together

that's their business but the public humiliation is what I can't stomach. So many of you that say you went through it or knew someone that did--did the woman have to stand up in front of millions of viewers like these women do so the whole world knows you've been walked over? Or was it kept relatively quiet so that the woman could maintain some dignity while trying to mend a relationship if at all possible? Big difference.

[Kelvin Mace]

150. I would not humiliate my wife

by asking, nor expecting her to "stand by me" in such a manner.

My sin, not hers.

As to her reasons for staying with her husband, that is really none of our business. Those decisions are hers, and hers alone, and we have no right to question, second guess, nor speculate on it.

Not a chastisement, just a statement.