Were you born an asshole?

[Bigmack]

Let's have an old-fashioned DU singalong! Here's the perfect song for Dumbya... complete with chords for you guitar players.
- - - - - - -

Jimmy Buffett
Song: Were You Born An Asshole

(D)Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night.
(G)Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
(A)I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad.
(G)So I wrote a song about him (D)instead.
It goes like this...

(D)Were you born an asshole?
(G)Or did you work at it your whole life?
(A)Either way it worked out fine
(G)'cause you're an asshole (D)tonight.

(D)Yes you're an A S S H O L E...
(G)And don't you try to blame it on me.
(A)You deserve all the credit.
(G)You're an asshole (D)tonight.

(D)You were an asshole yesterday.
(G)You're an asshole tonight.
(A)And I've got a feelin'
(G)you'll be an asshole the rest of your (D)life.

(D)And I was talkin' to your mother
(G)just the other night.
(A)I told her I thought you were an asshole.
(G)She said, "Yes. I think you're (D)right."

(D)And all your friends are assholes
(G)'cause you've known them your whole life.
(A)And somebody told me
(G)you've got an asshole for a (D)wife.

(D)Were you born an asshole?
(G)Or did you work at it your whole life?
(A)Either way it worked out fine
(G)'cause you're an aaaass...(A7)hole (D)tonight.

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/buffett-jimmy/were-you-born-an-asshole-9068.html

[Aviation Pro]

1. The first entry in Google....

...for 'asshole.'

http://www.filmstripinternational.com/

[stillcool]

2. The 1-95 Song!

..it was on the juke box in one of my favorite bars in the 80's. Thanks for the memories!

[ShortnFiery]

3. Well in Northern VA, getting cut off on I-95 is S.O.P.

Especially when the Carpool lanes merge south of Dale City. NO-body in the regular lanes who has spent an extra 40-50 minutes because THEY CHOOSE to drive alone will seemingly budge.

Despite my personal spicy temperament and outgoing personality, I'm a real saintly driver. No joke. Someone cuts me off and I smile and say, "Have a nice day idiot."

My point: Too many people are "off balance" mentally and may be packing heat. Therefore, I check my anger before I get behind the driver's wheel. It amazes many of my friends and acquaintances that I'm downright easy going behind the wheel. It's just not worth getting killed and having to spend the rest of the week DEAD. :P :yoiks:

They need to refocus their frustrations on a hobby and not use their car as a "power tool." Yes, many were born ASSHOLES, i.e., take "their mental issues" out on innocent bystanders within many venues.

[Warpy]

6. it's been like that for decades

I've long since come to the conclusion that they're all CIA and FBI and a few Congressmen who are blinded by their own brilliance and stupefied by their utter necessity to the universe. If you don't hit the brakes in time, they'll drive right into you.

I always wanted to put fake brick on the outside of my car, maybe they'd notice driving into a brick wall.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

4. I was born vaginally. Know many people born C-sections. Don't know

anyone who came out an asshole. Although, that incredibly useful organ has been known to reach out and take over the functions of other organs, such as the brain. Two cases in point: John "I'm anti Roe" McCain and "Condi "Not that kind of unity" Rice.

[Jonathan50]

5. The old joke goes:

That's where lawyers come from!

Bada bing, bada boom.