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JeffR
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:09 PM Original message |
| ***DUzy Awards for week ending December 7, 2007*** |
 Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring rapidfire riffing, ravening relish and remarkable retorts from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!The precarious DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal. Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. OP by devilgrrl: The ultimate "Let's make shit up about Hugo Chavez" Thread Come on kids! Let's do the US Corporate Media outlets a favor and make shit up about Hugo Chavez. It's pretty obvious that they want us to hate the guy in hope invading Venezuela, so don't hold back, let's see what sticks after throwing shit against a wall. Don't worry, I'll post a "Let's make shit up about Iran" thread next week just to be fair. I'll start off the festivities with "Hugo Chavez wants to legalize CHILD LABOR!!!!" :wow: :popcorn: response #1 by stranger81: Hugo Chavez hates cute furry puppies and ice cream response #79 by Hissyspit: Hugo Chavez EATS cute furry puppies and ice cream. n/t response #82 by lazyriver: Hugo Chavez eats cute furry puppies but hates ice cream. n/t response #119 by Kurovski: Hugo Chavez feeds ice cream to cute furry puppies then eats them. response #247 by Wednesdays: Hugo Chavez eats cute furry puppy ice cream GD, November 30, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2378097 On a thread by seawolf: Can we get even a semi-complete list of the Repub presidential candidates' lies and sleazy deals? response #2 by Captain Angry: You'd fill the internet with that list. I need the net for hockey scores, so I'd appreciate it if you'd not try to clog it. Thanks! On a thread by Atman: The police in Podunk, NH tell Boston news outlets not to cover hostage taking Hmm. So Boston news outlets are actually taking orders from the police in a jerkwater New Hampshire hamlet? What for? They've "requested" that the news copters stay at least three miles away. What the bloody f*ck for? Can anyone offer this ex-Boston rube a reasonable explanation as to why these small-town cops are able to dictate first-amendment rules to big-city news orgs? Just curious. Mr. Cynic is working overtime today. response #12 by Warren Stupidity: Fuck I just broke my last damn tooth off! Just keep the hick jokes coming. Oh and do get real defensive when called out on it. Charming. Connecticut. Right. response #14 by Atman: Isn't it funny how your CT pre-conceptions are okay, but my NH ones aren't? Huh? Really, how does that work? response #18 by Warren Stupidity: Oh so you are offended? Do tell. response #23 by Atman: Who said I was offended? You were the one who got his duck-waders in a twist. :hi: response #20 by madinmaryland: Dude, there are no backwaters in CT. i lived there for 20 years, and it's basically a 'burb of NYC! response #24 by Atman: Are you NUTS? There are several towns that don't even have a decent sushi bar!!! response #15 by graywarrior: Hey, people from Rochester are not jerkwaterites. Rochester may be a rural town, but a lot of my friends live there, dude. You have no idea what these small town cops have to deal with--tourists that pull the stupidest shit imaginable. response #16 by Atman: God...how do you guys deal with the U-turns and all those direction-askers? :hi: response #22 by graywarrior: We give the wrong directions. Bwhahahahahahahahaha! :rofl: On a thread by ProfessorPlum: Why America cannot be Norway It looks like a wonderful place. Why can't America be Norway? Because of racism. This is the lasting, devastating effect of the legacy of slavery on this country... response #1 by Teaser: Also, we're not close enough to Sweden except for Minnesota, that is. response #22 by leftofthedial: well, at least we don't have to eat that vile fish crap they call food response #24 by aikoaiko: I'd settle for America being a lot like Vermont. response #32 by struggle4progress: It's because we chopped all our fjords down. Or they died of Dutch Elm disease. Something like that. I remember learning about it in high school history response #36 by DFW: The reason is simple Too few people in America speak Norwegian. (Kan du snakke norsk?) On edit--I tested this that last time I was in Dallas with my friend, Gunnar. Sure enough, every time we asked that question, we got told, "hey, you dumb foreigners, speak English or shut up!" Gunnar turned to me and said, "DFW, I don't think we're in Oslo any more." I have my favorites here, but in the interest of saving time, let's just say every response also gets a DUzy. Or a Floozy or a Boozy or something. OP by trumad: We need an opposite DUzy awards--- you know--- for those with no sense of humor. My God--- there use to be a time where you can poke a little fun on DU at a politician like Dennis or Hillary, etc. Now you try it and heads explode. On a thread by NYCALIZ: Do or 'how do' you show that you are a liberal? response #13 by Peake: I attempt to use the spellchecker on a semi-regular basis. response #39 by ALiberalSailor: I drive a French-made car! Next year, I'm going to drive across Texas (Texarkana to El Paso) in it with a bumpersticker that reads, "I'm gay, I'm for Obama, and I'm here to take your guns!". Seriously, I'm not gay, but I do drive a French-made car. On a thread by BigBearJohn: Sometimes I wonder if the root of what's happening today is more than just greed and lust for power. but more essentially... the fight between good and evil. response #3 by Joe Fields: where's the good? response #4 by spinbaby: But wait! Do I see a hobbit approaching Mount Doom? On a thread by SeattleGirl: Holy shit! It's snowing here! Just looked outside, and the big white flakes are falling from the sky. response #1 by HypnoToad: Congress is on another skydiving trip? :hide: On a thread by The Straight Story: Web Site Seeks to Reunite Gloves, Owners "It's like an online dating service for long lost gloves. No, that's not a typo. A Texas native who experienced her first snowflakes in Pittsburgh last year was miffed by the lost gloves she spotted all over the city last winter. Whom did they belong to? Wouldn't they want them back? Why were people just walking past them? So Jennifer Gooch, who is pursuing her master of fine arts degree at Carnegie Mellon University, started onecoldhand.com in an effort to reunite dropped gloves with their mates — and in the process spread some goodwill..." response #1 by gateley: O.J. will be thrilled. nt response #4 by kurth: How about socks? Where's my sock? response #10 by Buzz Clik: And somebody must be missing a helluva lot of coat hangers -- they're all in my coat closet. On a thread by XemaSab: A point is "moot," not "mute." response #1 by Starbucks Anarchist: Supposably. :P response #2 by DS1: Here here! :rofl: response #8 by greyl: It's "moops"! nt response #14 by helderheid: I can't hear your point as I have you on mute. response #23 by lwfern: disagreeing here. Being in Michigan where we have no delegates, and being to the left of the republicans and the DLC, I feel like all my points are mute. response #29 by scarletwoman: It's a tossup for me between "mute point" and "marshall law". Both cause my inner English teacher to howl in agony. "Marshall Law" always conjures up a mental image of some tough-looking guy with a pair of six-guns and a cowboy hat standing steely-eyed in a dusty street in front of a saloon. Anyway, I'm with you... :banghead: response #31 by skipos: I am not going to mix words here, I could care less about what you say. I no I am right. The english language isn't rocket surgery. response #35 by porphyrian: Unless the point can't speak, and then it can be both. -n/t response #38 by AZDemDist6: perhaps but I sure see a bunch of talking points around here not nearly enough mute points IMO :evilgrin: response #41 by MassDemm: I can't hear you! I got the moot button on. :P response #43 by burythehatchet: Keep me appraised of this situation, will you. On a thread by lame54: GOD IS VOTING FOR HUCKABEE response #1 by DS1: Absentee ballot? OP by dave29: Romney, Edwards campaigns in disarray after Physicists Prove Infinite Americas Campaign advisors for the Romney campaign which asserted there is only one America, and the Edwards campaign which has asserted there are two -- were trying to gauge the public backlash after physicists released an elegant theory predicting an infinite number of Americas -- only limited by ones ability to understand quantum foam. The Romney campaign was quick to admit it does not understand quantum foam, rationalizing this proves that they live in only one America. The Edwards campaign admitted the science is in, but that their calculations were "closer to the accurate number" than Romney's campaign. The Clinton campaign promised Hillary would be the best President for all of the Americas, and that she would win election in every single one of them. The Obama campaign released a statement asserting it was time that all of the Americas tried to get along, and that even though an infinite number of Americas existed, there was still hope for all of them. The Giuliani campaign was quick to try to determine which America was the best America for his pals, while the Huckabee campaign declared that God had blessed all of the Americas, especially the ones without muslims. The Kucinich campaign declared that it had received reports of UFO's flying over at least 50% of the Americas it was aware of, and that this was further proof that his jacket pocket was indeed a black hole. The Biden campaign claimed it knew this all along, while the McCain campaign held up the theory as proof that the surge in Iraq was working. The Richardson campaign claimed the Governor had spent more time outside all of the Americas and was therefore best qualified to lead at least this America. When asked for comment, the offices of Vice President Gore admitted he had only given a sherman statement in 15 of the Americas, and that the Vice President himself was in an alternate America actually being President. When pressed for comment, the author of the OP admitted he was drunk, and couldn't think of anywhere else to take this silliness. OP by Jackpine Radical: I don't get it. People see their votes changing before their eyes, and they assume it's some kind of machine error or political mischief. Why can't they accept the reality of the situation? God is correcting their errors for them, changing their Satanic Democratic votes into Godly Republican ones, and thereby no doubt saving their souls as well as divinely intervening in the electoral process. OP by lame54: What would you title your Bush biography? mine would be titled: "Hey, it's dark in here." - The head up the ass presidency of George W. Bush response #7 by helderheid: "Bush and Dick - How They Fucked America" response #9 by Tierra_y_Libertad: "A Dummy's Personal Guide to the Presidency" response #10 by sheeptramp: Banana-fest Destiny response #14 by BringEmOn: "How Unka Dick Destroyed America......And, I Helped" response #19 by aint_no_life_nowhere: "He came, he saw, he fucked it up" or an alternate title "The MerdeAss Touch" response #22 by BringEmOn: "I Put the Peter In the Peter Principle" response #36 by vireo: "Dumb like me" response #37 by pinto: Out of Print. response #43 by DCKit: "Stealing Home and Everything Else" Also: "Sweet Sixteen FOREVER" "Coke Whore in the House" "Who's your Mammy?" "Beautifical Mind" "Who's Waldo?" "Mamma, Where's My Nucular Football?" "Condi 'n Me" (G) "Bad Daddy Dick" (XXX) "What's a Muslim? Seriously, I Need to Know Before I Invade Another Country" "Fifty Ways to Torture and Kill Small Animals and Brown People" "How to Steal an Election" (Rove press) "The Scotch Diet" "Arab Payday" "Beat Me, Bite Me, Fuck Me Hard and I'll Appoint you to the Supreme Court" "What's a Brazillion? I don't know, but it sounds like a good amount to spend" "I Don't Remember" "Butt Boys in High Places" (XXX) "Coke AND Pepsi" "Fuck Frequent Flier Miles How to Get Unmeasurable Free Travel on the Gubmint Dime" I could go on and on and on, but I'm looking forward to YOUR responses. response #48 by smokey nj: "I, Clusterfuck" response #69 by SalmonChantedEvening: From Here To Stupidity n/t response #82 by robbedvoter: Timbeeeeer! GD, December 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2384390 On a thread by Beetwasher: BOOTYGATE METASTASIZING: 400k Amex Prepay Slush Fund Used To Pay Cops To WALK NATHAN'S DOG!!! response #2 by sfexpat2000: That must have been one great dog walker. response #3 by Beetwasher: Super Duper Pooper Scooper? :rofl: Man, sometimes I just crack myself up! response #11 by MassDemm: I think you mean "Super Duper Pooper Scooper Trooper", right? :hi: :rofl: On a thread by 951-Riverside: Thompson Warns of Welfare State "Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson said Saturday that election of a Democrat to the White House in 2008 would open the way for a welfare state where bigger government, higher taxes and defense cutbacks sap the country's economic and military strength. 'Our country is at a crossroads,' Thompson told several hundred people at a rally at a community clubhouse. 'We know that the most liberal element of the Democratic Party has taken control of the Democratic Party, and if they win this next election we're going to go down the road of a welfare state,' he said. After warning of a government that gets 'bigger and bigger,' he said 'I don't think the American people are going to turn the keys to this country over to the most left-wing part of a left-wing party next year.' 'We've got to make sure that doesn't happen,' he said..." response #6 by scarletwoman: Ah. The classics never go out of style. (nt) response #16 by Zorra: The republicans sure are running a bunch of kooks this time around. Can you imagine any one of them running the country after the Chimpy disaster? We'd be going Road Warrior within 2 years of the first term. response #23 by momster: Leg-Warmers, Hair Gel and Fred all recycled from the 1980's. He's stuck in a time warp. First 'The Soviet Union' and now the 'welfare state.' Will he be reviling Murphy Brown for her out of wedlock baby? Maybe he'll be wishing Prince Charles and Lady Diana good luck on their wedding. Or will he just rock out to 'Thriller'? Nighty-night, Fred. response #49 by provis99: what is it with this old goofball? I mean, has he been asleep since 1980, and the kinfolk just poke him with a stick every now and then so he can wake up and grumble about "welfare bums" and the good ole days under Nixon? Go back to sleep, Fred. response #52 by MilesColtrane: The Great Metamucinator speaks! What a man of principle. I'm sure he'll be returning his Social Security checks to the Treasury with a little Post It on each one that says, "No Thanks, Uncle Pinko!". OP by Joey Liberal: A Message from Henry Hyde "Jesus Christ - it's fucking hot down here..." -- Henry Hyde On a thread by malaise: Is Glenn Beck stark raving mad response #2 by Rincewind: No He is stark raving stupid, he's 200 pounds of low grade horse shit in a man suit. He's Don Imus without the racial sensitivity, Dick Cheney without the compassion, George W. Bush without the competence, and a garden slug with extra slime. response #23 by SalmonChantedEvening: At times, he can almost make Duncan Hunter look only mildly kooky :scared: OP by Jillian: I cannot believe the level of insensitivity around here towards bald men!!! That's just how ridiculous it sounds to me for taking Biden's words out of context and calling him a racist. response #1 by BeyondGeography: What's worse is Obama's plan to make Biden head of Hair Plug Product Safety response #8 by countingbluecars: For a second there I thought this might be a thread defending Giuliani! On a thread by brooklynite: Romney To Give 'Religion Speech' "Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney will deliver a much-anticipated speech on religious faith at the George H. W. Bush library on Thursday, CBS News has confirmed. Romney's Mormon faith has been an underlying theme of his presidential candidacy but, until today, it has been an area he and his campaign have shied away from addressing directly. 'This speech is an opportunity for Governor Romney to share his views on religious liberty, the grand tradition religious tolerance has played in the progress of our nation and how the governor's own faith would inform his Presidency if he were elected,' said Romney spokesman Kevin Madden in a statement released this evening..." response #1 by wienerdoggie: It's a shame that his religion hurts him, in this day and age. He's a putz all on his own-- being Mormon is probably one of his better character traits. response #20 by hatrack: Gosh, just what we need! More politicians talking about religion - especially about THEIR religions Great idea!! :eyes: response #32 by rockybelt: The way he works it his speech will have him looking like a cathojewishpescipaliabaptist by the end of it. response #39 by regularguy: I have an advance copy: "Blah Blah Blah Faith Bla Bla Life Blah Blah Blah Real Americans Blah. ThankYou" response #44 by Javaman: I have a feelling. Something involving a shark and jumping. nt response #57 by winston61: The speech I would give would be short and sweet- It would go something like this: Ladies and Gentleman, please kiss my ass, my religion is no one's business but my own. Thank you and good night. OP by alcibiades_mystery: HITLER Lost Elections TOO!1 Er...oh...wait.... :-) The ironic thing about the Venezuela referendum is that the "Chavez is a dictator" argument suddenly seems absurd and silly, no? response #6 by lvx35: Hey man, he's sitting on 77.2 billion barrels of tyranny! We've got to make sure to liberate it by any means necessary, yo! response #24 by Opposite Reaction: But, but, I have a FEELING! I'm feeling that he WANTS to be a dick-tator! He wanted to have the opportunity to be re-elected in the future, that is what a dick-tator does! He subjects himself to the democratic electoral process! Dick-tator!1 I have a dick-tionary!1 On a thread by Wiregrass Willie: How does your family wealth stack up ? response #1 by Horse with no Name: Should I stack the quarters first or the pennies? :shrug: response #18 by Javaman: Wealth? what is this wealth that you speak of? nt response #20 by damntexdem: That stack is around here somewhere. When I find it, I'll tell you. Darn, the stack's so flat, I can never find it! response #23 by SyntaxError: I'm only worth about $21,444,991.... I cheat when I play The Sims. Took this to be more a commentary on the strangeness of men than the objectification of women; I have, however, been wrong before. OP by jgraz: Staring at Boobs Prolongs Men's Life by 5 Years "A German research published in New England Journal of Medicine and Weekly World News said that men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years. 'Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out,' said author Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist..." I'm gonna live to be 150!!!! response #4 by KitchenWitch: I would have LOVED to have been in the room when they gave the pitch for THAT study! :crazy: response #6 by sakabatou: Best. News. EVER. response #7 by jgraz: They also haven't studied the lifespan effects of having your wife catch you staring at boobies response #8 by mike_c: dear GAWD I am going to live forever! :bounce: :bounce: response #9 by hisownpetard: Staring at boobs prolongs a man's life - yeah, unless they're his own! response #14 by Peake: Buzzkill. This story is kin to Batchild. There's only one comment, and it lists snopes.com. This article has no date, also it has been debunked http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp It first appeared in the Weekly World News 13 May 1997. But you know what? I'm not going to stop looking, and I'm not going to stop hoping. My heart is pure because I stare at boobies of all types, so no snopes is going to convince me that I'm not also adding years to my life. Boobies give, they do not take away. So there. response #15 by petronius: Those poor guys in the control group Five years of NOT staring at boobs!? :scared: response #36 by MissMillie: so instead of getting some exercise objectify women! as if they needed an excuse. response #63 by Tuesday Afternoon: only a boob would believe this shit sheesh :eyes: response #72 by Crabby Appleton: so if I stare at breasts for an hour a day I'll extend my life by 30 years!1! actually I'd rather look at legs. response #82 by pokerfan: legs? I don't need legs. I have legs. response #75 by Orrex: I question the honesty of the control group Researcher: Okay, it's been five years. You haven't looked at any breasts, have you? Control Group: Uh, sure. Of course not. Um. On a poll by zulchzulu: Imagine Ann Coulter as the White House Press Secretary response #1 by Sparkly: I'd send Helen Thomas a pie. ;) response #2 by NanceGreggs: She's a lying dumbass ... ... who manages to be obnoxiously condescending and unbelievably ignorant of the facts at all times. So, you can't say she isn't qualified for the job ... On a thread by CatWoman: From the "give me a freakin break dept:" Bush won't call Putin after vote "US President George W. Bush has no plans to telephone Russian President Vladimir Putin after his party's romp in weekend elections held amid allegations of fraud, the White House said Monday..." response #3 by Benhurst: I'm glad he didn't call. We wouldn't want our president associated with possible election fraud. :rofl: GD, December 3, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2395888 OP by trof: "When is the last time you lost your temper?": Katie Couric That's one of the riveting questions she'll ask of candidates on CBS Evening News starting now. Right up there with "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" jeez response #8 by Lastlaughin08: WHEN I READ THIS STUPID %$$#@#*&^#% SUBJECTLINE !!!!!!!!!!!! There, I'm all better now. Thank you. On a thread by The Straight Story: Rare Mummified Dinosaur Unearthed: Contains Skin, and Maybe Organs, Muscle "Scientists on Monday announced the discovery of what appears to be the world's most intact dinosaur mummy: a 67-million-year-old plant-eater that contains fossilized bones and skin tissue, and possibly muscle and organs. Preserved by a natural fluke of time and chemistry, the four-ton mummified hadrosaur, a duck-billed herbivore common to North America, could reshape the understanding of dinosaurs and their habitat, its finders say..." response #1 by citizen_jane: I heard that DNA testing showed it was Fred Thompson's long lost twin brother. response #2 by dicksteele: I predict that detailed spectrographic analysis of the tissues will prove they tasted like chicken. response #14 by aint_no_life_nowhere: Did it have a well-preserved saddle and bridle on it? response #15 by IanDB1: No, but it did have a "W '04" bumper sticker. n/t OP by themaguffin: Can any Obama supporter defend Obama's choice of soda? Didn't he say once he preferred Pepsi? Or Was it Coke? In either case... It was the opposite I'm sure! He's a flip floppin' liar, just like Kerry. response #2 by Catch22Dem: Well, if he drinks Pepsi, he lost my vote Because I knew a republican one time, and he had a sister, whose boyfriend's aunt's husband's son from a previous marriage was a corporatist thug. I can't support him if he chooses to cavort with that crowd. response #3 by XemaSab: He said he liked Coke but only Kosher/Mexican coke. He's in league with the Jews to open our borders to reconquistas from the South! :o response #7 by rufus dog: He likes RC Cola He is just playing politics response #9 by themaguffin: RC? Oh his problem is even more severe... response #13 by frylock: we can't even pay our bills.. and he's drinking Royal Crown Cola?! OP by NewHampster: Is Huckabee really Gomer Pyle? You youngsters won't remember him but my generation was in love with the lovable Gomer Pyle USMC http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gomer_Pyle I'm starting to think that the repug who scares me most is really Gomer. response #2 by Bluebear: Worse, he's Reverend Gomer. nt OP by Bucky: What are the worst three words in the English language? Newt Gingrich lactates (Top that. I dare ya.) response #2 by MrCoffee: President Carrot Top response #4 by trof: Oh, you mean the worst 3 word phrase. Bush elected president. response #27 by JoePhilly: Bush Wins Florida response #30 by JoePhilly: Bush Wins Ohio On a thread by BleedingHeartPatriot: The dark side of Mike Huckabee. A good article and enlightening letter re: his "compassion" response #4 by mwb970: How many people *is* the Huckster, anyway? In his sound clips on TV he keeps saying "we" did this and "we" will do that, at one point even saying that "We will be one of the three top candidates" in the Iowa caucuses. "We will be one"? Maybe he's 3-in-1, like the Trinity. response #5 by wienerdoggie: "We" = Him and Jesus. Jesus is his running-mate. response #6 by mwb970: That sounds like "God Is My Co-Pilot"! Wouldn't you think the Big Guy would go for the top spot? On a thread by Sparkly: Eight more men come forward about Larry Craig.... "Eight men say they either had sex with Sen. Larry Craig or were targets of sexual advances by the Idaho lawmaker at various times during his political career, a newspaper reported. One of the men is the former escort whose allegations disgraced the Rev. Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, the Idaho Statesman reported Sunday..." response #6 by wienerdoggie: LOL! His stance wasn't just wide, it was coast-to-coast. response #12 by Sparkly: Poem When good ol' Larry dropped his pants The breadth of his enormous stance, From coast to coast, day after day, Caused some to think he might be gay. (But have no fear! Appreciate How good ol' Larry set them straight.) response #7 by ilovesunshine: 4 more and they will have a calendar! nt On a thread by jazzjunkysue: Hillary jumps the shark. Obama's 3rd grade essay? Check, please. response #2 by IanDB1: That's why I have never run for public office. I was afraid someone would unearth my Kindergarten essay, "Why I Like it When Ms. McCann Smacks My Bottom." Now I see my fears were not unfounded. response #5 by chimpsrsmarter: Can we get a moratorium on "Jumped the shark"? how about "Hopped the couch" or anything else? response #11 by jgraz: What are you saying? That "Jumped the Shark" has... :P OP by danagsk8: *Hey, Mouseketeers! Come SING!* (Sung to the tune of Mickey Mouse Club) Who's the moran of the world That's screwed the USA? G-E-O-R-G-E D-U-M-Y-A! Who's the failure all us folks Hate seeing everyday? G-E-O-R-G-E D-U-M-Y-A! Dumya George! (Unca Dick!) Dumya George! (Unca Dick!) Forever wears a flag on his lapel. HAR! HAR! HAR! With his head straight up his ass, Who cares what people say? G-E-O....(Oh my God, America's fucked!) R-G-E....(E is for ENRON, I guess) D-U-M-Y-AAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!! :patriot: OP by Bucky: I strongly differ from President Bush on a number of political issues. Oh, just don't get me started! response #1 by rug: Don't use such strong language. response #4 by Bucky: I have very strong feelings about this matter I am quite sincere about them, virtually to the point of being passionate and such. On a thread by Dems Will Win: NY Post, NY Daily News 2002: Bill Clinton Seen Dating Belinda Stronach & Lisa Belzberg According to Huffington Post, Bill Robinson, the NY Times and the LA Times are sitting on a "Big Clinton Story" that involves his affairs since leaving the White House... response #55 by blogslut: The New York Times and The L.A. Times are "sitting on a BIG Clinton story." Whoever is "sitting" on this story isn't doing a very good job. Maybe the reporters are underweight and the story flew right out from under their asses. This story has a raging passion to be free, don'tcha know? Oh look, it's flying above us right now! Hello flying sleazy story! Dear New York Times and L.A. Times, Please pay your reporters more money so that they may buy food. Try as they might, they are too underfed to effectively sit on stories anymore. One of their stories flew away and has built a nest inside Bill Robinson's head. Sincerely, ~blogslut~ response #64 by Chovexani: I for one am relieved that you posted this It's been a while since we last had a State of Clinton's Wang update. OP by Mythsaje: A pox on their souls Anyone shortsighted and stupid enough to vote Republican in the next Presidential election is an asshole, deserving of the worst possible fate one can dream up for a human being. May they be thrown bodily from their place of residence, land face-first in a steaming pile of exrement left by the Great Dane next door, then be forced to walk sixteen miles through the pouring rain in borrowed shoes two sizes too small only to find themselves on a streetcorner mistaken for a john trying to solicit a undercover vice cop masquerading as a streetwalker and spend the night in jail entertaining their cellmates with long and detailed explanations of why Republicans are lower than the underside of a road-flattened snake. And furthermore, may they wake the next morning to find that their drunk cellmate mistook their shivering form for the toilet and be forced to attend court smelling like a urinal. And, in attempting to explain themselves to the judge, so offend said officer of the court that they are penalized to the full extent of the law and sent to the worst hell-hole of a jail to labor under the desert sun at the mercy of the most sadistic guards in the universe. May they be shunned by their fellow prisoners and, upon release, find themselves at the mercy of the vagaries of fate, standing on the side of the road with a sign saying "will work for food" in the same too small shoes they started out in the very night when they made the worst decision in their useless, misguided lives. And may every single stroke of good luck that might come their way after this be instead directed to one of those with which they share the street until, in the end, the only people who remain homeless are former Republican assholes who damn well deserve it. And may they live a long and miserable life until they either repent their evil Republican ways or die and find whatever afterlife may await them. And may they then be afflicted with a lecture so harsh that their ears catch fire and they are forced to spend eternity with tiny blackened stumps on the sides of their heads as a reminder that they brought all their misfortune upon themselves. Either that or lose so badly that we can openly mock them for being the malevolent gasbags they are for the rest of their days. OP by faygokid: I despise ALL the Repuke candidates and I'm saying something nasty about each. Care to join me? Rudy Giuliani: Neocon wet dream. Mitt Romney: Flip. Flop. Mike Huckabee: Anointed by God, rejected by sane voters. Fred Thompson: Just another pretty face. Duncan Hunter: Idi Amin wannabe Tom Tancredo: Livin' la vida loca John McCain: The Straight Off the Cliff Talk Express Ron Paul: Because nuts grow off different trees Alan Keyes Because comedy is not dead response #10 by seasat: I love the repug candidate bashing threads Fred Thompson: Resembles one of the California raisins, only less intelligent Mitt Romney: Just like a Ken Doll but contains more plastic John McCain: All we have to do is give war a chance Rudy Ghouliani: Proof that the Repugs will accept anyone as long as they want to start wars Mike Huckabilly: Poster child for the Flat Earth Society The rest of the cast: If it wasn't for the presidential race, they'd be standing on a milk crate on a street corner ranting about the New World Order response #11 by K8-EEE: Mitt Romney Is Actually An Animatronic Created at LDS headquarters from a 1964 Sears Roebuck underwear catalog. That is my theory. THESE GOP CANDIDATES ARE THE WORST!! I'm not even being "librul biased," the GOP people I know do n't like them either. I just look at ALL those people and go, POTUS?? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! Rudy = Crypt Keeper, complete with ghoulish tics and talk-spitting. Huckabee - The part of Reverend Dimsdale from Scarlet Letter will be played by Kevin Spacey as Mike Huckabee. Thompson, you have got to be kidding me. He's "Reaganesque" in the way that he'd start the prez term half out of his mind with senility and end it completely gonzo. McCain is just a clueless old guy. Ron Paul is worse that a crazy Republican - he's a crazy Libertarian. Tancredo is the bestest at hatin' Mexicans. Great presidential credentials, if you're a Freeper! Lil' Dunkin' played with guns at 9 years old, what an adorable story THAT was, NOT! response #12 by Riktor: I'll give it a shot Rudy Giuliani: A fucking waste. He may have had a shot, but he single-handedly alienated practically every New Yorker who may have been dumb enough to figure him for the "hero" of September 11th by his incessant capitalizing on the disaster. I've seen plenty of politicians politicize heartache to bolster their campaigns, but Giuliani is the first I've seen to build an entire campaign around a singular disaster. Mitt Romney: Mormon New England Centrist seeks Republican nomination for the Presidency. Good luck, idiot. Mike Huckabee: .. Sure, it's a "fair tax", depending upon how one defines "fair"... Fred Thompson: Dude, where's my campaign? Duncan Hunter: Coerces society into raising your kids so you don't have to! Tom Tancredo: Tom Clancy ghostwriter wannabe. John McCain: John's learned a lot from his last presidential bid. He's much more conservative this time around. Ron Paul: "Libertarian": n. see "Republican" Alan Keyes: The RNC's answer to Kermit the Frog. On a thread by marmar: Pope Benedict blames the "greatest forms of cruelty and violations of justice" on Atheism.... response #9 by TahitiNut: Nobody ever expects the Atheist Inquisitions! :silly: OP by flvegan: Tampa, FL Poll 12/4/07...Kucinich: 100% Clinton 0% Obama 0% Edwards 0% With all the bullshit "polls" around, I asked 100 folks on my mailing list (a larger scope than some of these "polls") that are certifiable liberals who they'd vote for in a one round throw down of all the candidates. I got much laughter, a good deal of "yeah, um...they kinda really suck" and "well, if my vote counted, I'd go for..." My poll is as bullshit as any. No margin for error, though. I probably just have too many GLBT friends on my mailing list. Or maybe too many peacemongers, or folks against the war, not looking to bomb Iran on my mailing list. Could be just too many folks that actually WANT and CRAVE change in this country on my mailing list. Others will suggest that I probably only polled...no, I'll wait until it's suggested, which it will be. Carry on. Unofficial flvegan 12/4 poll has been published. Back to Mortal Kombat for the lot of ya. On a thread by Toots: Should Democrats push for a "Balanced Budget Amendment"? response #5 by gratuitous: No This has been another edition of short answers to obvious questions. On a thread by tridim: Oops, my dog just ate a bunch of cannabis response #42 by H2O Man: The sad truth is that hundreds of dogs become homeless and are put to sleep because of cannabis addiction. Yes, they start out experimenting, due to the notorious dog pound pressure, and think of it as fun and games. Rather than attending doggie obedience classes, they skip off and "chase a buzz," as hippie dogs on Dragnet used to say. But look what happens: while siblings who follow the straight and narrow become police dogs, politicians, or beauty contestants on a cable network dog show, Little Sheba leaves Hazel at home wondering "why?" John Lennon once wandered hairied as a dog, and this too can be attributed to reclusive drug abuse. On a thread by in_cog_ni_to: "Things Karl Rove Just Remembered" http://www.236.com/blog/w/sean_carman/things_karl_rove_just_remember_2674.php response #6 by dicksteele: Nancy Reagan had solved the nation's drug problems, until Clinton told us to use them again. nm response #7 by lazyriver: And the repukes actually gained Congressional seats in the 2006 election. I hope he predicts a landslide victory in 2008 too. We would appreciate whatever bad mojo he can add to their already sinking ship. OP by Bucky: I totally LOVE Bush's explanation about the NIE report Bob Newhart, look out. There's a new king of deadpan humor hitting the airwaves and he's going to available for "booking" (we hope) starting in January 2009. At his press conference today, George Bush let the world know the Executive Branch gets along just fine without him... At the presser, David Gregory addressed the Comedian-in-Chief with the problem of that NIE report saying the Persian boogie man isn't actually doing the one thing that could give us cause to worry about them. "You warned about the prospect of World War III, when months before you made that statement, this intelligence about them suspending their weapons program back in ‘03 had already come to light to this administration." Bush's defense is hilarious. "I don't want to contradict an august reporter such as yourself. I was made aware of the NIE last week... I think it was Mike McConnell came in and said 'We have some new information'. He didn't tell me what the new information was." In other words, Bush doesn't bother to ask anything about the information, even when people come by his office just to say "Hey, we have some new information on Iran." Iran? Shit, Mike, don't bother me with that backwater malarkey--can't you see I'm busy with important matters of state? I gotta walk Barney. I gotta veto health care for the children of working families. I gotta, you know, hard work. And so the CIA folks go back and analyse that new information from Iran, that uninteresting minutiae concerning God-knows-what trivial matter, only coming to the conclusion at the very last minute, that Iran has no nuclear weapons program. I assume the conclusion came at the last minute since they never bothered, between August and the end of December to update the White House on this forgotten and irrelevant matter concerning a tiny country hardly anyone in this administration ever mentions or even knows about. No one calls and says, "Hey, just in case anyone mentions Iran in next coupla months, you might think about tapering your words on the threat they pose to us. No hard conclusions yet, but we might have some data here suggesting they're not actually weaponizing their uranium." Or maybe there was a mix up over whether "nuclear weapons" are the same thing as "nucular weapons." Whichever is the case, the situation seems to be that no one in the country's 16 intellegence agencies that were conjointly analyzing this 'new information' thought the president of the United States could be trusted, or at least could understand, ongoing updates on the analysis of intelligence about Iran's military strength, despite the fact that the US was doing everything in its power to dissuade Iran from continuing its nuclear weapons program--almost up to the point of actually talking to them. Or maybe the National Security Agency just thought the president would really enjoy getting a big suprise on this issue. Surprises, after all, have been so good to this president in the past. OP by A-Schwarzenegger: Remember, Saddam tricked us into thinking he had WMDs by saying he didn't have any, by allowing the inspectors to come in and confirm that he didn't have any, and by not having any. Ahmadinejad is pulling the same trick. OP by Bleachers7: Breaking: Obama preferred to be bottle fed rather than breast fed (Iowa City, IA) Today it was revealed that Senator Barack Obama preferred to be bottle fed. The NY Post spoke with Obama's 95 year old care taker Mildred Klaus who said: "Obama breast fed for at least a month before he demanded to be bottle fed. He was the fussiest 1 month old I have ever seen." In a tight race for the presidency, Hillary's spokesman Mark Penn said "Baby Barack didn't have the courage or convictions to feed from his mother's bosom. The people of Iowa must understand that Barack Obama doesn't love his mother." RNC Chairman Michael Duncan joked "Obama supported breast feeding before he was against it." Obama's campaign was did not return calls for comment. <snip> response #3 by MethuenProgressive: Obama accuses Clinton of planting wetnurse, cites text message from Bob Novak. "I'm a tit man, like Barack. All real Americans love tits." - Bob Novak. response #5 by MannyGoldstein: It Was His Inexperience Another baby would have been ready for the nipple on day 1. I'm told by the La Leche folks that it's a chance we can't afford today, not while we're under attack by the bottle. response #7 by MonkeyFunk: Clinton Camp responds: "We knew about the coke and pot, and now we find out he started hitting the bottle at a young age." response #10 by MethuenProgressive: John Edwards weighs in: "I was so poor my mother didn't have nipples." OP by Chovexani: Post your made up candidate slander here. Bill Clinton had an affair with Michelle Obama. You know how much he likes the sisters. Fox News said Kooch had tea with Ron Paul in a UFO. Trufax. response #1 by Joe Fields: I have it on good authority that Edwards peed outside on the playground in the 5th grade. response #2 by Chovexani: If he can't control his wee wee How is he fit to lead?! response #6 by dicksteele: Kuchinich's wife is conducting a TORRID extramarital affair with a DU member. I'm too modest to tell you which one. :evilgrin: response #17 by sailor65: She's only using you to make me jealous. :rofl: response #67 by dicksteele: Be honest- it's working, isn't it? :evilgrin: response #21 by Perry Logan: Obama once spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. Twenty...minutes. response #22 by Steve_DeShazer: Bill Richardson is really a Norwegian. Senator Clinton maintains a close relationship with Paula Jones. Mike Gravel is really 102 years old. John Edwards lives in a one-room shack with Joe Biden's hair plugs. Dennis K has seen UFO's because he's a pilot. Chris Dodd is Barbara Bush's love child. Barack Obama liked New Coke. response #24 by Bucky: Mike Huckabee lost all that weight through furious masturbation The resulting spooj pile eventually gained consciousness and was elected to Congress using the name "Tom Tancredo" response #32 by book_worm: Hillary will stun the convention by naming Bill as her running mate. response #34 by MilesColtrane: Kucinich has hairy feet, and is a personal friend of Bibo Baggins. Chris Dodd harbors so much anger at everyone that he purposefully farts in elevators to slake his thirst for vengance. Barrack Hussein Obama's real name is Philip Gerald "Jerry" Whiteman. John Edwards' daily morning routine consists of oiling himself up and kissing a full length mirror for 45 minutes. Hillary Clinton is, and always has been, the supreme leader of the vast right-wing conspiracy. "Senator Joe Biden" is actually just a probability wave of opinions that only becomes visible when observed by a potential voter. Despite the assertion that Mike Gravel was born in Massachusetts, he is really the offspring of an Alaskan polar bear and a drunken French fur trapper. To conceal this he must shave his entire body every morning. Starting at the age of eleven, Governor Bill Richardson was a regular on the PBS show "Zoom". He played the character Ronaldo for three seasons, but was fired after having an affair with the producer's wife response #60 by MilesColtrane: Republican version... Scientists with the Human Genome Project have confirmed that Rudy Giuliani is an amphibian/human hybrid. When young, Fred Thompson was the model for the Tennessee Pride Country Sausage logo. Mike Huckabee is the former co-joined twin of actor Kevin Spacey. In the operation to separate them a significant portion of Huckabee's brain was accidentally removed. Tom Tancredo was formed from the dust 6,000 years ago and has steadfastly refused to evolve since. Rep. Duncan Hunter gets erections when he thinks of fetuses. Governor Mitt Romney became rich after marketing Rohypnol to Mormons who had been been unable to resist the urge to masturbate, and who wanted to forget the experience. The drug was called ChastiNu™ and was informally referred to as the 'morning-after-the-latter-day pill'. Senator John McCain believes that Mike Huckabee is the "bravest, kindest, warmest, most wonderful human being he's ever known in his life". Ron Paul wants taxpayer funded, American troops out of Iraq, and he wants them replaced with an army of privately funded, genetically enhanced, super Wal-Mart greeters. response #66 by ocelot: Mitt Romney once had a three-way with Jeanne Kirkpatrick and Bay Buchanan. Under his suit pants, Tom Tancredo wears assless chaps made by illegal Mexican leather workers. Dennis Kucinich eats rare prime rib when nobody's looking, but claims the aliens make him do it. John Edwards shaves his head. Hillary Clinton had Paul Wolfowitz' baby. Mike Huckabee is really a Zoroastrian. Rudy Giuliani is a set of female twins. Barack Obama can't do long division. Ron Paul's body is completely covered in tattoos. Duncan Hunter has the largest collection of inflatable party dolls in California. John McCain has webbed feet, which he will show you for a small fee. Joe Biden lives with several hundred pet rabbits. Chris Dodd wears fake eyebrows. Fred Thompson has pierced nipples and collects antique teapots. Bill Richardson is descended from Erik the Red and can swear fluently in Icelandic. response #71 by hughee99: As I hear it... Hillary Clinton made some extra money on her international trips by working as a heroin mule. Dennis Kucinich is a world-class cat juggler. John Edwards uses the bones of babies to whiten his teeth. Barack Obama is really the Rev. Jim Jones after extensive plastic surgery. Before joining the Senate, Joe Biden's previous position was as a prison snitch in Yazoo City. Chris Dodd started the war between the Bloods and Crips when he bumped into Tookie Williams while in line to see Wacky Taxi in 1972. Bill Richardson used to be a professional "fluffer" before moving on to act in snuff films. response #78 by BlueIris: Mitt Romney died twelve years ago and the man you see on t.v. is a soap opera actor from Munich. response #90 by Virginia Dare: So did Dick Cheney... the man you see on teevee is his carcass. response #95 by alfredo: Joe Biden has a picture of Bing Crosby tattooed on his butt. Kucinich eats Veal. response #99 by madeline_con: Rudy kept terra from spreading all over the U.S. eom response #101 by BlueIris: So why did my brother-in-law catch terra last weekend? His doctors are giving him a 50/50 shot at recovery. If only he'd had health insurance that would cover Merck's new anti-terra vaccine! Cruel, cruel for-profit healthcare system!!! GD, December 4, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2403262 On a thread by babylonsister: Photo-op Fred Thompson does not have hunting license "Fred Thompson has made a point of visiting gun shops and gun shows while hitting the campaign trail in New Hampshire and South Carolina, usually with camera crews in tow. But Thompson said Wednesday he does not have a hunting license, nor has be been hunting recently. 'It's been too long, it's been too long,' Thompson told CNN Wednesday. Asked if he has a hunting license, Thompson said he currently does not. 'At the present time I do not, but I have been hunting plenty of times. I usually hunt birds and used to have my own skeet shoot, and I got a chance to shoot and practice a lot back then...'" response #1 by Occam Bandage: Of course he doesn't. The guy looks like doesn't do anything but sleep and fart. He's as phony as phony can get. response #5 by Lastlaughin08: Fraud Thompson should charge admission to his appearances Honest to God, if this guy isn't a comedy act I'll eat my hat. On a thread by madinmaryland: Has Lieberman weighed in on the NIE report indicating that Iran is not developing nuclear weapons? I saw him on TV last night briefly talking about video game violence. :shrug: response #2 by H2O Man: Iran poses a very serious risk to our nation in the context of video game violence. The NIE said nothing that can be twisted to imply that this risk is any less real than the intelligence that showed Iran was seeking to but yellow cup cakes from Niger. Senator Lieberman will continue to press for war to keep us safe. response #5 by TlalocW: Here's what he said Sean (Hannity), blaaaah-dee-blaaah-blaaah. Blaaaaah-blaaaah-blaaah-dee-blaaaah democrats blaaah-blaaah putting America in blaaah danger. Blaaah-blaaah George Bush blaaah understands blaaah importance of blaaah situation. Blaaah-blaaah-dee-blaaaaaaaaaaaah. On a thread by babylonsister: Bartlett: WH reporters are too tough on Bush. "In an interview with the Texas Monthly, former Bush counselor Dan Bartlett said the White House press corps is too 'critical' of Bush..." response #6 by aint_no_life_nowhere: If they were any tougher on Bush, they'd have permanent scar tissue on their lips from kissing Bush's butt. On a thread by Enrique: Fred Thompson doubts Iran nuke report "'I hope that they are accurate with this assessment, but right now, I don't have the confidence in our own intelligence capabilities to make that assessment,' the former Tennessee senator said after speaking to dozens of supporters at a gun shop in this early voting state. 'One thing that crosses my mind is that this is information that the Iranians have put out, that they want us to kind of relax a little bit...'" response #18 by Elrond Hubbard: If brains were dynamite, Freddie couldn't blow his nose. response #25 by rooboy: Sen Thompson also said he hopes the embassy hostages are released soon. n/t OP by DavidD: My careful, cautious, informed prediction: someone will win the Democratic nomination! And someone else will win the Republican nomination! And someone -- almost certainly one of the previous two someones -- will win the presidency! I'm willing to stake my immense reputation on this. response #3 by Occam Bandage: I'm betting the white guy wins the Republican nomination. I'm also betting that whoever wins the Presidency does so by winning a number of votes, and that in certain states, that number of votes exceeds the number of votes for the other guy. response #7 by DavidD: Update After analyzing the numbers carefully, I'm willing to consider the possibility that it might be someone else. OP by annabanana: Between now and January 20, 2009... . . . what to expect. from B*sh As far as the stuff he can't impact to his advantage.. Kick it down the road. :redbox: Make the unsustainable mortgage loans "sustain" for 5 more years. There's time enough for them to implode on the Democrats time. :redbox: Tie as many knots in the war as possible with ersatz "treaties", business deals and other devices that will have to be undone one at a time. :redbox: Throw as much money to your friends as possible in the time remaining. And then jam up the plumbing, break the windows, punch holes in the drywall, pull up the floorboards, adopt 35,000 cats with no cat boxes, and generally behave like the crack-addled evicted tenant he is OP title by Boojatta: Did Bush change his name to AhmaJennaDad? On a thread by rinsd: Iowans Undecided As Caucuses Near "Jane Halliburton dined with Joe Biden and conferred with Hillary Rodham Clinton. Talked with Barack Obama and met with Chris Dodd. Loved the pecan pie sent over by John Edwards' staff. Any of the five 'could be my candidate' by the time the Iowa presidential caucuses roll around on Jan. 3, she says... Even by Iowa standards, Halliburton's access to the candidates is unusual, stemming from her position as an elected supervisor in Story County..." response #1 by geek tragedy: Drudge Headline: Top Democrats Courting Halliburton's Support. n/t On a thread by BeyondGeography: HuffPost: The Clintons are unraveling response #22 by cat_girl25: Now that's the kind of headline Obama supporters salivate at. nt response #25 by ronnykmarshall: I wouldn't limit it to salivate .. ... it does involve a bodily fluid and many times followed with a cigarette. On a thread by Bicoastal: What do you think can be done to make the rest of the world like us again? response #2 by poverlay: Cookies. n/t On a thread by tekisui: Six Senators Letter to Bush: Congress will have a say in post-war plans "Six United States Senators have co-authored a letter to President Bush insisting that Congress is to be included in the decision-making process for a plan to maintain a post-war American presence in Iraq..." response #1 by madeline_con: When does the "Post War Era" begin? 2080? n/t On a thread by SemiCharmedQuark: Why on EARTH would anyone want to make a movie of "Atlas Shrugged"? response #13 by zorahopkins: Shrug I don't know. Shrug. OP by Elrond Hubbard: Rachael Ray's Dunkin Donuts ads fill me with impotent RAGE. It was bad enough that she had those idiotic ads that said 'Quick and Delicious. Is 'quilicious' a word?' No, idiot, but 'moron' is. Look it up. Then there was 'Quick and Delish.' Look, I love Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffees as much as anyone else, but I hate having to go in there and see giant posters with her smiling, vapid face mangling the English language and making it look 'cute.' Now, to advertise their (delicious, btw) gingerbread donuts and lattes, they have a new Ray ad in which she says 'Gingerific.' Gingerfuckingrific. Is she stupid or something? Or is it the people who write these ads? Who is responsible for this absurdity? I HATE advertising at is (it makes me feel stupid by association), and this dumb garbage really ticks me off. Why don't we dumb ourselves down as a society even further? I mean, I don't think we're stupid enough as it is. Seriously, our powerful intellects are too much of a threat to the backwards people of the rest of the world. Maybe Rachael Ray can teach Geography lessons while she's teaching us English. 'This delish French coffee comes directly from Paris, which is right next to Narnia.' In closing, since dumbass Racheal Ray can make up idiotic new words, I thought I'd give it a try. Stupid + vapid + bimbo = stuvapimbo! Is that a word? response #6 by BarenakedLady: What I wanna know is Does America really run on Dunkin? response #10 by Elrond Hubbard: I could run on their wonderful coffee... :9 response #16 by BarenakedLady: I agree However, I still ask myself that question every time she says it. Oh and her giggle makes me want to stick munchkins in my orifices. On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: Magic Mormon underwear vs. Magic prayer beads and holy water: What's the diff? response #2 by Teaser: fewer pee spots on prayer beads but on the other hand, prayer beads aren't teh sexxxxy. response #9 by dicksteele: Really? If that's usually the case, then perhaps I've been doing something wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong! :wow: On a thread by monmouth: Bush nominates Stephen Limbaugh, Jr. for Federal Courts response #1 by quinnox: With a name of Limbaugh for Bush to nominate him was a no brainer. response #2 by Turbineguy: If my last name was Limbaugh I'd change it to Hitler. On a thread by underpants: WH Presser - Bush has "no recollection of being made aware of the tapes" response #1 by sinkingfeeling: I guess he learned that from Gonzo! response #4 by underpants: Poor Alberto is still walking around DC looking for his car. He just can't seem to remember where he parked.....just walking around hitting the trunk latch button on his remote....just walking around... On a thread by ls317: Small error! Oy vey! Pork for Chanukah? The Greenwich Village gourmet grocery store, Balducci's, has become the butt of the Jewish holiday by advertising its boneless hams as "Delicious for Chanukah"... response #1 by alcibiades_mystery: Let me tell ya'll something about my people, the Italians We wrap shit up in pork. We don't go to the "butcher shop." We go to the "pork store." We take a pig, cure it, then slice it up and wrap it around a piece of fucking cantaloupe. A fig. Whatever. You name it, we'll wrap the fucking thing in pork. We have 800 varieties of what you people call bacon. We eat that shit up. So am I surprised that somebody at Balducci's would think the nice Jewish customers might like one uh dese here hyams for der holiday meal? I'm surprised it wasn't a full window display with the Star of David shaped out of various strung salamini. On a thread by groovedaddy: Hindu gods get summons from court - BBC "A judge in India has summoned two Hindu gods, Ram and Hanuman, to help resolve a property dispute. Judge Sunil Kumar Singh in the eastern state of Jharkhand has issued adverts in newspapers asking the gods to 'appear before the court personally'..." response #1 by Old Crusoe: And this time, they'd better show up, cuz the fines are pretty steep. OP by ih8thegop: If there's JUST ONE thing I've learned from the Republicans, it's this: Men can fake it too sometimes. On a thread by Blue_Roses: Bush gives out wrong hotline number "As he announced his plan to ease the mortgage crisis for consumers, President Bush accidentally gave out the wrong phone number for the new 'Hope Now Hotline' set up by his administration..." response #2 by Old Crusoe: The number he did give was Jeff Gannon's pager. It was quite a mix-up. response #5 by Kutjara: I assume the original mnemonic wasn't successful: 1-888-995-HOPEYOULIKELIVINGINTHESTREET. It was just a bit too long for easy recall  A wonderful thread which should have appeared last week: OP by Writer: Post a picture of yourself... then caption it! response #4 by CaliforniaPeggy response #35 by puerco-bellies response #42 by MissMillie response #48 by mike_c response #116 by crim son More good stuff in the thread! The Lounge, November 29, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7182986 OP by procopia: Is Bush flashing el Diablo sign again? response #2 by madeline_con response #4 by Captain Angry response #8 by citizen_jane response #15 by SpiralHawk GD, December 1, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2382093 On a thread by Kadie: Caption *, Mrs. *, and Steve Martin - pics response #1 by Oregonian response #2 by Tierra_y_Libertad response #5 by Ravy response #12 by BuyingThyme response #21 by SoCalDem response #28 by SalmonChantedEvening response #30 by Prefer response #33 by MiniMe GD, December 2, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2391460 OP by donheld: Where's Bush? GD, December 3, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2392916 On a thread by CatWoman: From the "give me a freakin break dept:" Bush won't call Putin after vote response #6 by Virginia Dare GD, December 3, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2395888 On a thread by WillyT: Anybody Wanna Caption THIS ??? response #2 by adsosletter response #3 by chimpsrsmarter response #5 by dicksteele response #8 by XemaSab response #9 by aint_no_life_nowhere responses #12 & #21 by Swamp Rat response #13 by sakabatou response #18 by msedano response #20 by Rex response #22 by HughMoran response #24 by deacon response #26 by Whisp GD, December 4, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2406019 OP by Stephanie: I AM PISSYPANTS! ---pix---->>> response #9 by Bitwit1234 response #10 by Whoa_Nelly response #11 by 8_year_nightmare response #16 by JBoy response #20 by yellowcanine response #31 by Paulie response #33 by in search of sanity GD, December 4, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2401511 On a thread by Chovexani: Post your made up candidate slander here. response #98 by Swamp Rat GD, December 4, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2403262 On a thread by Elrond Hubbard: A surprising number of people round these here parts are a lot more sympathetic to corporations... response #9 by bridgit GD, December 4, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2405672 On a thread by Stephanie: Out in the Cold ---pix--->>> response #13 by SalmonChantedEvening GD, December 6, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2414222 OP by zbdent: Separated at birth? (Warning, disturbing, large size pictures) GD, December 6, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3800186 |
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| zabet
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:15 PM Response to Original message |
| 1. k & r |
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| stellanoir
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:15 PM Response to Original message |
| 2. 2nd rec |
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| CaliforniaPeggy
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:28 PM Response to Original message |
| 3. My addiction has been fed! |
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| zbdent
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:30 PM Response to Original message |
| 4. I tank ya, me mudda tanks ya, me fadda tanks ya ... |
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| EFerrari
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:31 PM Response to Original message |
| 5. Oh, no. Now all I want is to mock some malevolent gasbags! |
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| Mythsaje
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:03 AM Response to Reply #5 |
| 33. Yeah, I figured it was a fair either/or proposition... |
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| Patsy Stone
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:35 PM Response to Original message |
| 6. I'd like to offer my congratulations |
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| alfredo
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Sat Dec-08-07 08:51 PM Response to Original message |
| 7. kikinit |
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| saltpoint
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:04 PM Response to Original message |
| 8. Your eye and ear is keen, JeffR and your elves are resourceful. |
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| bleever
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:07 PM Response to Original message |
| 9. H2O Man wins two DUzies. |
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| helderheid
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:53 PM Response to Reply #9 |
| 16. H20, since we both got 2, I say we go for drinks! |
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| Buzz Clik
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:14 PM Response to Original message |
| 10. " The police in Podunk, NH ...." |
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| Buzz Clik
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:20 PM Response to Reply #10 |
| 11. "Romney, Edwards campaigns ... infinite Americas." Eh? Friggin' nerds. |
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| Buzz Clik
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:25 PM Response to Reply #11 |
| 12. "A Message from Henry Hyde"... |
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| flvegan
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:48 PM Response to Original message |
| 13. This was a great week at DU. |
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| helderheid
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:52 PM Response to Original message |
| 14. OMG 2! Thanks JeffR! So funny! |
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| annabanana
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:53 PM Response to Original message |
| 15. Oh thank you! . .* ~an OP DUzy ~ *. . ! |
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| Richard Steele
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Sat Dec-08-07 09:57 PM Response to Original message |
| 17. Congratulations everyone! K&R |
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| graywarrior
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Sat Dec-08-07 10:10 PM Response to Original message |
| 18. JeffR JeffR JeffR! |
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| Breeze54
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Sat Dec-08-07 10:16 PM Response to Original message |
| 19. Congrats to all the new and seasoned DU comics!! |
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| Arugula Latte
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Sat Dec-08-07 10:39 PM Response to Original message |
| 20. No one does Smartass better than DUers! |
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| Tuesday Afternoon
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Sat Dec-08-07 10:41 PM Response to Original message |
| 21. Thanks for doing this JeffR and thanks to whomever nominated |
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| HCE SuiGeneris
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Sat Dec-08-07 10:45 PM Response to Original message |
| 22. K & R |
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| Kurovski
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Sat Dec-08-07 11:18 PM Response to Original message |
| 23. Bucky scores big this week. Congrats! |
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| JeffR
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Sat Dec-08-07 11:39 PM Response to Reply #23 |
| 24. Keep that coin comin', Mr. K! I gotta War on Christmas to fight. |
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| Kurovski
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:03 AM Response to Reply #24 |
| 32. You are my comfort, my harbor in the storm. |
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| Chovexani
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Sat Dec-08-07 11:45 PM Response to Original message |
| 25. Thanks everyone! |
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| scarletwoman
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Sat Dec-08-07 11:46 PM Response to Original message |
| 26. "4 more and they will have a calendar!" -- Brilliant! I love the DUzys! |
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| eridani
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Sun Dec-09-07 12:04 AM Response to Original message |
| 27. Point of information re socks and coathangers |
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| scarletwoman
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Sun Dec-09-07 12:33 AM Response to Reply #27 |
| 28. Wow! That explains so much! Thanks, Ms. Science! (nt) |
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| Tresalisa
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Sun Dec-09-07 12:53 AM Response to Original message |
| 29. Laughing, reading, and laughing some more! |
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| Captain Angry
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Sun Dec-09-07 01:27 AM Response to Original message |
| 30. Thanks for the DUzy! |
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| UrbScotty
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Sun Dec-09-07 01:27 AM Response to Original message |
| 31. I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Kurovski
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:47 AM Response to Reply #31 |
| 35. And when YOU win, DU wins. |
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| Mythsaje
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:07 AM Response to Original message |
| 34. Curses! |
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| MilesColtrane
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:49 AM Response to Original message |
| 36. Comedy Gold. |
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| malaise
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Sun Dec-09-07 05:43 AM Response to Original message |
| 37. What a great start to a Sunday morning |
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| SalmonChantedEvening
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Sun Dec-09-07 08:52 AM Response to Original message |
| 38. Four? WOWOW! :) |
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| BleedingHeartPatriot
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Sun Dec-09-07 09:53 AM Response to Original message |
| 39. K & R. Damn, we have some sharp wits here! "I am pissypants" took me |
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| scarletwoman
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Sun Dec-09-07 11:02 AM Response to Original message |
| 40. Kick for the DUzys -- best antidote ever for Sunday morning pundit-induced nausea & heartburn! (nt) |
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| ThatsMyBarack
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Sun Dec-09-07 11:03 AM Response to Original message |
| 41. *I WINNED A DUZY!!!!!!!!!* |
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| SoCalDem
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Sun Dec-09-07 11:15 AM Response to Reply #41 |
| 42. right click & save as on your computer.. then go to Options (DU menu) |
|
browse (in the avatar upload area) and you got it
 |
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| helderheid
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Mon Dec-10-07 11:28 AM Response to Reply #42 |
| 52. sparkly! |
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| City Lights
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Sun Dec-09-07 11:24 AM Response to Original message |
| 43. JeffR, three cheers to you for putting this together each week. |
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| scarletwoman
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Sun Dec-09-07 11:34 AM Response to Reply #43 |
| 44. It's like having Santa show up every week. Or the Easter Bunny. Or maybe the Tooth Fairy. Or God. |
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| NV Whino
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Sun Dec-09-07 01:11 PM Response to Original message |
| 45. Kick for the DUzys |
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| scarletwoman
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Sun Dec-09-07 01:57 PM Response to Reply #45 |
| 46. Another kick -- because there's really too much ugly crazy around here today, and we need |
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| Richard Steele
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Sun Dec-09-07 02:22 PM Response to Reply #46 |
| 47. I agree completely. Kick! nm |
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| scarletwoman
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Sun Dec-09-07 08:04 PM Response to Original message |
| 48. Sunday evening kick -- this place could use a few laughs... (nt) |
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| BlueIris
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Mon Dec-10-07 03:27 AM Response to Original message |
| 49. I'm never getting a DUzy, am I? |
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| SoCalDem
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Mon Dec-10-07 03:55 AM Response to Reply #49 |
| 50. aaaw. BlueIris..don't cry... |
         |
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| BlueIris
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Mon Dec-10-07 04:00 AM Response to Reply #50 |
| 51. Aw, thanks. I've been trying so hard. nt |
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| I Have A Dream
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Mon Dec-10-07 12:56 PM Response to Reply #49 |
| 53. I noticed a couple of your things above. Wouldn't that... |
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