Romney, Edwards campaigns in disarray after Physicists Prove Infinite Americas

[dave29]

Campaign advisors for the Romney campaign which asserted there is only one America, and the Edwards campaign which has asserted there are two -- were trying to gauge the public backlash after physicists released an elegant theory predicting an infinite number of Americas -- only limited by ones ability to understand quantum foam.

The Romney campaign was quick to admit it does not understand quantum foam, rationalizing this proves that they live in only one America. The Edwards campaign admitted the science is in, but that their calculations were "closer to the accurate number" than Romney's campaign.

The Clinton campaign promised Hillary would be the best President for all of the Americas, and that she would win election in every single one of them. The Obama campaign released a statement asserting it was time that all of the Americas tried to get along, and that even though an infinite number of Americas existed, there was still hope for all of them. The Giuliani campaign was quick to try to determine which America was the best America for his pals, while the Huckabee campaign declared that God had blessed all of the Americas, especially the ones without muslims. The Kucinich campaign declared that it had received reports of UFO's flying over at least 50% of the Americas it was aware of, and that this was further proof that his jacket pocket was indeed a black hole. The Biden campaign claimed it knew this all along, while the McCain campaign held up the theory as proof that the surge in Iraq was working. The Richardson campaign claimed the Governor had spent more time outside all of the Americas and was therefore best qualified to lead at least this America. When asked for comment, the offices of Vice President Gore admitted he had only given a sherman statement in 15 of the Americas, and that the Vice President himself was in an alternate America actually being President.

When pressed for comment, the author of the OP admitted he was drunk, and couldn't think of anywhere else to take this silliness.

[hedgehog]

1. But what about the cat? Is the cat dead or not? Could someone take a look?

I'm afraid to open the box.

[dave29]

2. we'll just have to live with the uncertainty of it all

which doesn't really help the cat

[madeline_con]

3. especially the ones without muslims

:rofl:

[itsrobert]

4. Maybe that's why Hillary has an infinite number of positions on issues

She has a different position for each America. :rofl: