***DUzy Awards for week ending November 23, 2007***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-23-07 06:57 PM
Original message

Edited on Fri Nov-23-07 07:20 PM by JeffR

Welcome to the DUzy Awards, honoring peppy pasquinade, pert prattle and pellucid panto from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The filibuster-proof DUzies will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to scarletwoman, Tuesday Afternoon, AZDemDist6, CaliforniaPeggy, Kurovski, mzteris, KitchenWitch, unhappycamper, hootinholler, Greyskye, 48percenter, proud2Blib, rocknation, stellanoir, annabanana and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance.

This should have appeared last week:

On a thread by IanDB1:

Acoustic Weapon Hits Georgian Protesters (Updated)
"There's more evidence that the Saakashvili regime in Georgia is using sound weapons against opposition protestors. This English-language footage from Russia Today shows riot police rolling through the streets of Tblisi in pickup trucks, small dishes in hand. A high frequency pulse follows. 'Georgian police used an acoustic gun -- it's a non-lethal weapon that disorients people for a period of time,' says one 'special weapons expert'..."

response #6 by scarletwoman:

And people LAUGHED at us for our tinfoil hats! LAUGHED! Well, who's laughing NOW?!?!
BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAA... :tinfoilhat:

GD, November 15, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2289063

On a thread by Capn Sunshine:

Study says big-hipped women are smarter & have smarter children
"The research, published this week in the journal 'Evolution and Human Behavior,' indicates hips don't lie. In effect, says the study of some 16,000 women, the smaller your waist and bigger your hips, the smarter you are..."

response #1 by Cabcere:

I ought to be a friggin' genius, then!
x( :P :hi:

The Lounge, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7147787

OP by hisownpetard:

That's it: I've definitely once-and-for-all made up my mind about my vote!
I'm unequivocally undecided.

In the beginning, I was pro-Obama
until the start of the campaign drama
when all the so-called 'debates' on TV
made me reconsider Hillary,
but then Edwards seemed to pick up speed
and his earnestness seemed strong, indeed,
but Richardson's the only man
who had a truly even tan
while Joe Biden, on the other hand,
has the best one-liners and is never bland.
Then, through Wikipedia, I heard
Dodd's dad was a lawyer at Nuremburg
which impressed slightly less than the startling caper
where Gravel released the Pentagon Papers.
Kucinich chews spinach to make him strong,
and seems the only one who knows right from wrong,
so I'm voting for him, without a doubt,
at least until the next news cycle rolls out.

GDP, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3731171

On a thread by SoCalDem:

      Look out, Dallas.... he's headed YOUR way..
"At Monday's Celebration of Reading event at the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center, former President George H.W. Bush hinted at what most people suspected all along � that his eldest son, President George W. Bush, and his wife, Laura, will be moving to Dallas after they vacate the White House.

No. 41 read a magazine piece he wrote for FYI on tips for ex-presidents. He prefaced it by telling the Dallas audience, 'Some of you might find yourself living next door to a president of the United States. If that happens, just be kinder and gentler to them...'"

response #2 by graywarrior:

      Hell must be overcrowded.

response #14 by rucky:

      It is. Traffic on the LBJ's a bitch. n/t

response #4 by eleny:

      There's a Dallas in Paraguay?

response #5 by winston61:

      If they ever give Texas an enema, and there are many locations
here to compete for the honor, Dallas is where they will put the tube in.

response #6 by dicksteele:

      "Dallas loves you, Mister President!"
Insert "crossed fingers smiley" -HERE-.

response #16 by MilesColtrane:

      Highland Park truly is the Heart of Darkness.
The sulfurous stench remains from Cheney's time there. I occasionally catch the noxious waft, still to this day, from where I live in east Dallas.

I guess Junior wants to live near his new pResidential lie-bary, so he can check in with those rewriting his legacy, were he'll throw down the compliment, "Heckuva job brown nosers!"

response #17 by SoCalDem:

      It will take him a while to finish coloring all the pictures in the book.
Being close will be a good thing..

He can have his breakfast
watch cartoons
play some nintendo
take a nap
then go to the lie-berry to color
then back home for dinner
watch some "Cops"
and to bed by 9

And see below for a Special Visual Achiuevement award from this thread.

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2304723

On a thread by Robbien:

      State Dept official asks to cancel Blackwater hearing
"The lawyer for State Department Inspector General Howard Krongard asked on Saturday that he not be called to testify before Congress on discrepancies between his statements and those of his brother over the brother's ties to the Blackwater security firm.

'There is no legitimate purpose to be gained by publicly pitting two brothers against each other,' Barbara Van Gelder wrote in a letter to Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of the government oversight panel..."

response #1 by babylonsister:

      WhaaWhaaWhaa! Don't make me go in front of those mean men again!
:cry: :nopity:

I have a feeling Waxman won't be buying this!

response #13 by hisownpetard:

      Don'tcha just love sibling whinery?

LBN, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3069704

On a thread by hisownpetard:

      OK, seriously: Dick Morris. Is there anyone more repulsive??

response #4 by Mojambo:

      Yeah, the upgrade version - Mark Penn. n/t

response #7 by BlueDogDemocratNH:

      Oh, plenty
Fred Phelps
Grovelbot
Alex Rodriguez
Karl Rove
Every member of Nickleback
Barry Bonds
ESPN football analysts/Manning Ballwashers

The Lounge, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7148302

OP excerpt by CorpGovActivist:

From: W, To: My Successor - the Traditional Handwritten Note
Tradition dictates that the outgoing President leaves his successor a note in the Oval.

"Dear ...fill in name...

I thought you might find this dossier about your activities these past 8 years to be of interest. Most everyone in this chair eventually succumbs to the curiosity to see what may have been gathered, so I thought I'd save you the trouble on that little chore.

A friendly word of warning: I never did find the extra copy that I asked my Special Assistant to make. Karl is such a klutz around the copy machine, you know. Maybe you can ask your people to look around for it. I'm sure it will turn up.

Apropos of nothing, good luck appointing the next Attorney General. I'm sure that whoever you pick will exercise balanced judgment in making prosecutorial decisions.

W

P.S. Good luck with Iraq."

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2305668

On a thread by CatWoman:

      Ask President and Mrs. Bush a Question!
"PEOPLE is sitting down with the First Couple as they enter their last year in the White House. Send us your questions for the President and First Lady � from the personal to the political � then look for their responses in our special year-end issue, on newsstands Dec. 20."

http://www.people.com/people/reader/email/0,,20160008,00.html

response #3 by BuyingThyme:

      Four times three?

response #10 by Earth_First:

      Seven?
With a perfect photo of the Dictator-Tot for punctuation.

response #5 by Lastlaughin08:

      How did "My Pet Goat" end?

response #7 by yurbud:

      As the climax of a Skull and Bones initiation. Sorry about your goat. They'll buy you another one

response #8 by graywarrior:

      My question: Are you fucking kidding me?

response #9 by Terri S:

      Mr. President, what size jumpsuit do you wear?
Mrs. *, have you been fully informed of the visitation policy at the facility?

response #13 by Uncle Joe:

      To George Bush, Why do you hate the Constitution?
And a followup if I could. Is exhaling a conscious decision on your part?

response #14 by hisownpetard:

      On quick reading, I thought Bush wrote this OP: People is sitting down... and
childrens do learn!

response #18 by SalmonChantedEvening:

      Need help packing? n/t

response #19 by QuestionAll:

      where's the strangest place that you and * have made "whoopie"?

response #21 by tomg:

      So George, I just read where
they tasered a Conservative Christian Clown. Did it hurt?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2305248

response #36 by Orsino:

      "Is a five-minute running start enough?" n/t

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2304636

On a thread by emlev:

      No Purchase Necessary
A 24 hour moratorium on consumer spending - participate by not participating

North America: 23rd November, 2007
International: 24th November, 2007

http://adbusters.org/metas/eco/bnd/#download_posters

response #2 by BeHereNow:

      Clog up check out lines and then...at the point of pay- change your mind.
And put it all back...
Heh.

response #6 by emlev:

      Or how about...
backwards shopping?

Walk backwards into the store pulling a full shopping cart, full of empty product containers. Back through the store putting the empty boxes, plastic containers, etc. on the shelves where they originally came from...

response #18 by danagsk8:

      But...but...it-it's the DAY after THANKSGIVING!
:sarcasm: People will think we're all COMMIES or something if we don't celebrate the birth of JESUS by going out and spending $$$$! :sarcasm:

;) :rofl:

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2301203

On a thread by Akoto:

      Dinosaur found with vacuum-cleaner mouth
"A dinosaur with a strange jaw designed to hoover-up food grazed in what is now the Sahara Desert 110 million years ago. Remains of the creature that 'flabbergasted' paleontologist Paul Sereno went on display Thursday at the headquarters of the National Geographic Society, where they will remain until March..."

response #1 by rug:

      Oral sex killed off the dinosaurs.

response #3 by WCGreen:

      Suckasorous Longtiminus

response #5 by ocelot:

      That sucks.

response #10 by BlueDogDemocratNH:

      I'd say something about the cast of "Desperate Housewives"
But that would be wrong.

And see below for some Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

The Lounge, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7149024

OP by fenriswolf:

No carb diet for every american
No Cheney
No Ashcroft
No Rumsfeld
No Bush
And forget about the Rice

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2305859

OP by Rabrrrrrr:

Hee hee - Droopy went to a Unitarian Church and made a trinity of posts to tell us about it.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7151091&mesg_id=7151091

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7151092

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7151093

response #2 by Ellen Forradalom:

In the name of the Father, the Son
and the Holy Post.

The Lounge, November 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7151097

Erm, don't quite know what to do with this one. Here's the link:

GDP, November 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3733864

On a thread by Newsjock:

      Bed Bugs Found in Fox News Channel Newsroom
"TVNewser has learned that a small area of the Fox News Channel newsroom has evidence of insects believed to be bed bugs. What is not known is how the insects got into the basement-level newsroom of the News Corp. headquarters. Most likely, an employee or guest unknowingly transported the poppy seed-sized bugs on their clothing, which then made their way into the fabric or carpeting.

We're told an exterminator was brought in late last week to treat the area and those who sit near there have been alerted to take precautionary measures including sending their clothes to the dry cleaner..."

response #2 by C_U_L8R:

      They need to de-louse that place
but good.

Especially the big ones that talk.
They're nasty buggers.

response #6 by Prisoner_Number_Six:

      Someone got suckered.
...They thought they really WERE poppy seeds. :shrug:

response #15 by eppur_se_muova:

      Um, anybody want the rest of my bagel? nt

response #16 by Sabriel:

      If you scrub them with a loofah, they drop right off.
You can also spray them with "Asshole-B-Gone."

response #19 by Canuckistanian:

      I warned them to fumigate after an Ann Coulter appearance
But did they listen? Oh, no.

response #21 by daleo:

      Fox is crazy as a bed bug
Now they have the bedbugs to prove it.

GD, November 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2310316

On a thread by Omaha Steve:

Strike Watch: Poll says much of the public thinks the writers are right
"According to a new poll, 63 percent of the public supports the writers in the ongoing Writers Guild of America strike."

response #1 by aquart:

Dear Producers: The pen is mightier than your hot tubs.
Now pay the writers like you've finally realized how much damage they can do you.

Labor, November 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=367x5144

OP by billyskank:

Why is a "slim chance" better than a "fat chance"?
English is weird. :crazy:

response #3 by Generic Brad:

Low-sodium chance. You never hear that one, do you?

The Lounge, November 18, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7150350

OP by IndianaJones:

Where you live sucks so bad...terrorists wouldn't bomb it.
Now give me your votes.

LOL.

response #4 by Rick Myers:

Youngstown, Ohio (my home town)
They got hundreds of thousands of dollars from Homeland Security, and a bombing there would be urban renewal!!!

GDP, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3739926

On a thread by maddezmom:

      Bush homeland security adviser resigns (Fran Townsend)
"Fran Townsend, President Bush's top White House-based adviser on terrorism and homeland security, has resigned, it was announced Monday.

President Bush said in a statement that Townsend 'has ably guided the Homeland Security Council. She has played an integral role in the formation of the key strategies and policies my administration has used to combat terror and protect Americans...'"

response #1 by panader0:

      OMG! What'll we do? I feel so vulnerable.

response #15 by concreteblue:

      can i be first?? really??!!!
"YOU"RE DOING A HECK OF A JOB FRANNIE"
wooohhooooo!!!!

LBN, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3070843

On a thread by CatWoman:

      Townsend�s goodbye to Bush: �You are such a man.�
"Homeland Security Adviser Frances Fragos Townsend today sent President Bush a three-page handwritten letter announcing her resignation. A highlight from the letter:

'In 1937, the playwright Maxwell Anderson wrote of President George Washington: There are some men who lift the age they inhabit, til all men walk on higher ground in their lifetime.

Mr. President, you are such a man...'"

response #3 by derby378:

      Speaking of "that giant sucking sound..."
:evilgrin: :rofl:

response #20 by yardwork:

      How old is Fran Townsend?
That letter reads like a 4th grader thanking the mayor for visiting the classroom.

response #24 by Bucky:

      45. By Republican standards a mere youth--perhaps still prone to youthful indescretion.
This is why they always nominate old dudes. Before 50 most Republicans are still sowing their wild oats off daddy's trust fund.

response #27 by yardwork:

      Well, she writes like a five year old.

response #29 by dicksteele:

      Be fair- she wrote that -TO- a five year old. nm

response #49 by DFW:

      Well, she got the beginning right:
I'm with her as far as "You are such a......"

My own text diverges from hers at this stage............

(You may all use your imaginations here)

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2313375

On a thread by Poiuyt:

Another man dies after being shot by taser
"A 20-year-old man died Sunday after being shot with a Taser device during a scuffle with a sheriff's deputy in Maryland, a spokeswoman for the Frederick County Sheriff's Office said..."

response #3 by Algorem:

The Popeil Pocket Electric Chair.

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2310643

OP by trof:

wHAT IDIOT PUT THE CAPS LOCK KEY NEXT TO THE 'A'?
hOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE THAT?
tYPING A WORD THAT HAS AN 'A' IN IT AND THEN LOOKED UP AT THE MONITOR AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS AND NOW YOU HAVE TO BACKSPACE THE WHOLE DAMNED THING AND START OVER.
sHIT!

response #5 by TorchesAndPitchforks:

hIS NAME WAS bILL qWERTY
hE WAS A GODDAM EGOMANIAC!

The Lounge, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7154261

OP by Ravy:

      I am looking for the perfect DU post.
One that will get lots of nominations and suggestions. I do not have a warehouse full of monkeys to eventually achieve this.

Suggestions?

response #6 by Gman:

      Try "Hillary will be the next president"
it's not an OP anywhere that I know of, but it will get noticed, but not in a good way.

response #23 by radfringe:

      combination of the following:
1. kittens or puppies (pics required)
2. smoking (doesn't matter if yer fer it or agin it)
3. Impeachment (yes or no - doesn't matter)
4. most recent republic outrage
5. Dems backing down or not backing down only to back down later

example:

SMOKING KITTENS CALL FOR IMPEACHMENT
Republicans caught with pussy (cats) in smoking lounge and demand Democrats apologize for using kittens as a political prop. Reid and Pelosi stated they would not apologize, moments later they apologized for not apologizing sooner.

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2311625

On a thread by The Straight Story:

      Schools ban suggestive moves known as 'freak dancing' or 'grinding'
"The Wall Street Journal reports this morning that a number of high schools across the USA are banning a sexually suggestive type of dance called grinding.

We struggled to find a suitable description of these moves, which are also known as 'freak dancing.' Suffice it to say, they're are a lot like those you'd see during a lap dance.

'This is not just shaking your booty,' Jason Ceyanes, the school superintendent in Argyle, Texas, tells the Journal. 'This is pelvis-to-pelvis physical contact in the private areas...and then moving around...'"

response #12 by rug:

      First it's habeas corpus, now it's dry humping.

response #17 by Bornaginhooligan:

      As a former high school teacher...
if they're not dancing suggestively in the gym, they're out fucking in their cars.

response #18 by JVS:

      Which is exactly why I oppose freak-dancing. Fucking in cars is way cooler!

response #28 by annabanana:

      What? Again?
This chestnut gets pulled out every few years. I'm sure someone has a quote of Aristotle complaining aobut the racy dancing of teenagers these days...

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2313809

On a thread by Godhumor:

      Signs that a restaurant is probably going to be bad
For me, the big one is iceberg lettuce in the salad. I associate that with cutting corners on the food...

response #6 by hisownpetard:

      One sure sign is when the word "Sanitary" is part of the restaurant's name

response #37 by JVS:

      As in "The Sanitary Napkin"?
I loved that restaurant!

response #40 by hisownpetard:

      UGH! (There's actually a bakery in Orange or E. Orange, NJ, named "Sanitary Bakeshop."
Oh, yeah, gimme some of that clean bread, right there, please, and I'll take
a couple of those hygienic seeded rolls, too.)

response #7 by DS1:

      Gordon Ramsey runs out the door and throws up on your shoes

response #11 by meegbear:

      The busboys are bigger than the cockroaches ...
but not by much.

response #127 by DarkTirade:

      ... and the cockroaches order out.

The Lounge, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7152647

On a thread by Skinner:

      The DU Admins have something that we would like to show you... (IMAGES: LONG DOWNLOAD)
To thank you for yet another successful DU fund drive, the DU Administrators would like to show you what we have been working on for the past few months. You may have noticed that we are not around quite as much these days. That's because we are spending most of our time re-imagining, redesigning, and rebuilding Democratic Underground from scratch. This is a huge project which may not be finished until Spring of 2008. With hard work and a little bit of luck, we hope to have the new site ready by the time we have a Democratic presidential nominee...

response #48 by Lochloosa:

      And another degrading of a once great website....
Well....someone had to say it. Again.
:sarcasm:

response #49 by Skinner:

      LOL.
It is no secret that the DU Admins are doing everything in our power to ruin DU. ;-)

response #92 by BlueGirlRedState:

      But where's the spreadsheet button?
We need a quick spreadsheet button so it looks like we're working....

Thanks for all your hard work -- very impressive.

response #106 by rug:

      Will we be able to reach through the screen and throttle people in this version?

response #147 by 2008:

      change sucks!
why, in my day, nothing changed! ever! everything stayed exactly the same, all the time

we didn't have any fancy-shmancy adminnee-straiters runnin' around trying to make everything better

we had one guy in the center of the muddy town square with a giant stone tablet who chiseled the latest goings-on, and if you wanted to comment on what he wrote, why you just ran and got your own giant stone tablet

and we liked it! we LOVED it!

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2312592

On a thread by wyldwolf:

      Obama yells at elderly Iowa voter

response #11 by geek tragedy:

      Yells? I cackle at that suggestion. n/t

response #203 by Kurt_and_Hunter:

      The lady that heckled Obama...
The lady that heckled Obama
Said Saddam was in bed with Osama
Whether Barack was nonplussed
Was a matter discussed
By many who blog in pajamas

response #299 by DuStrange:

      AND DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE WAS LEERING AT HER?!
I WAS PLANNING ON VOTING FOR OBAMA, BUT AFTER WATCHING THIS VIDEO AND SEEING HIM DISPARAGE THIS WOMAN'S ETHNIC HERITAGE AND THEN MAKE FUN OF HER VARICOSE VEINS, I'M HAVING SERIOUS DOUBTS. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY HE SPIT ON THAT VETERAN IN THE FRONT ROW, EITHER! AND IT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY TO KICK THAT PUPPY ON THE SIDE OF THE STAGE.

NOT COOL, MR. OBAMA!

GDP, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3737418

On a thread by bob_weaver:

      Does your family have a traditional "family recipe" you make every Thanksgiving?

response #21 by Neo:

      a recipe of low key hostility flavored with bitter resentment

response #68 by Kutjara:

      Swanson TV dinner. Turkey, of course.
Some traditions are sacred.

The Lounge, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7154936

On a thread by madinmaryland:

      Freeper writes book and sells 40 copies and thinks he will make the
NY Times best seller list!!

"Just a quick note to my fellow Freepers to thank you all. I've given away over 300 copies of my book, and I checked today to see that I've sold over 40 hard copies!

Yea! NY times best seller list look out!"

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1928000/posts

response #3 by KG:

      he's maxed out his market. only 340 freepers can read anyway.

response #6 by NanceGreggs:

      What's the title?
"Spellcheck: A Liberal Plot to Undermine America"

response #67 by ProgressiveFool:

      I wonder how many editors took their lives in the process of making it ready for publishing

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2313247

OP by Byronic:

Are you becoming more like your candidate?
Yes, this is a little flippant, but there is a kernel of truth to my apparently foolish words.

I noticed this in late 2003. Back then I was a massive John Kerry supporter, and, like so many people on this board, was voracious for information on the candidate of my choice. I would read every article on him I could find, devoured books which mentioned him, and watch every video clip of him available.

Then I realized I had a problem.

I speak in public an awful lot and I was giving a talk to a college at Oxford when, without noticing it until half way through, I began using Kerryisms. My speech pattern became suspiciously like his, and I even, at one point, used that big booming "I believe..." that the good Senator started so many sentences with.

Will it happen this time around?

Perhaps I will soon be calling everybody 'man'.

Perhaps I will constantly reference old, slightly corny, sayings that my parents used to say.

Perhaps I will start saying 'Ladies and Gentlemen' a lot.

Perhaps I will develop a powerful urge to slap Rudy Giuliani around. (I think I already have this one)

Perhaps I will insist on using public transport rather than driving to work.

Perhaps I will start being able to talk for 5 or 6 days straight at a time, about every policy under the sun, mixed with some homely anecdotes.

Perhaps I will become the best damn candidate in this race whether people realize it or not.

Oops...Sorry about the last one. That just pops out sometimes ;)

GDP, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3736974

OP by MNDemNY:

      Obama tazes old freeper woman in Iowa.
Just after the camera stopped, Obama leaped into action, tazing the old bird 6-8 times before she was subdued and carried off to gitmo for water-boarding. Sources close to Obama said the woman, under torture admitted that she was indeed a freeper/hillary implant. Obama then reiterated that the woman was not involved in 9-11.

response #3 by Ravy:

      You seemingly think the tazing was unnecessary...
tell that to the families of the four people he shot in previous town-hall settings.

Sometimes it seems Obama just can't please everyone.

response #4 by MNDemNY:

      I don't think he should have taken her alive.
That just complicates things.

response #13 by AngryAmish:

      Don't taze me, sonny!

response #21 by K Gardner:

      ROFL !!!
I halfway expect the MSM to pick this up and see it on CNN tonight..

Wolf Blitzkreig: "HAPPENING NOW...ONLY ON CNN... Obama's Shock and Awe Campaign, taser.. repeat TASER...see the drama you can ONLY... repeat ONLY.. see on CNN..."

response #30 by msedano:

      I grow weary of disinformation & spin
This is so typical of true-believers attacking an opponent on the slightest pretext, and when there's no substance, making crap up.

Obama noticed the woman grow pale during the presentation and kept an eagle eye on her, suspecting a cardiac problem. As the event concludes, Obama notices the woman collapse. Obama knows her sole chance for survival rests with immediate defibrillation. Ever the quick-thinking type, Obama sees no first aid kit nearby, so while still in mid-air leaping from the stage, he pulls the taser device from the belt of an undercover officer, activates it, and administers the life-saving charge.

On the you tube video one can hear clearly--clearly--the device advising "stand clear...3...2...1". Novak is spreading the ugly rumours about the woman being tortured in Cuba. She's at her home in Miami, aka Habana Norte (that's North Havana to youse English-only types). To Novak, all Latins look alike so his lie about Gitmo is understandable but, nonetheless, a lie. To protect the braless woman's modesty, the video has been withdrawn.

I understand she is suing Obama for destroying her blouse when he ripped off the garment to allow better electrical contact.

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2313136

Poll question by MrCoffee:

      How much would the Admins have to pony up to get you to moderate GD:P?

:bluebox: There isn't enough money in the galaxy

response #3 by janesez:

      Oh, I would totally do it.
They just wouldn't let me, on account of all the bannings and smackdowns I'd hand out. :D

response #10 by philosophie_en_rose:

      about three fitty
thousand dollars.

At press time, "There isn't enough money in the galaxy" was winning with 100% of the votes.

The Lounge, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7152671

On a thread by Auntie Bush:

      So now Obama is playing the race card!
"Michelle Obama says America will be viewed differently with a black president"..........etc

response #3 by Warren Stupidity:

      Obama is black? Hillary is a woman? WTF?
THIS IS SERIES IM HUGH!!!11!!1111!111!1

response #21 by global1:

      Giuliani Played The Race Card The Other Day.......
he showed up at a NASCAR event.

GDP, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3743153

On a thread by NNN0LHI:

CNN's Beck falsely asserted that Novak "said it was an insider on the Clinton campaign"

response #1 by thepurpose:

Did all 1 people watching Glenn Beck buy this BS?

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2321346

On a thread by sabra:

Fred Thompson campaign recruiting volunteers to �Phone for Fred� from home
"Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson isn�t doing particularly well in polls of early voting states Iowa and New Hampshire, but his campaign has come up with a novel way of using volunteers to help reach voters.

Today, the Thompson campaign introduced �Phone for Fred,� an online phone bank that allows volunteers to download names and phone numbers of potential voters in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida...

It�s not uncommon for campaigns to use volunteers in other states to place phone calls, but they generally have a staff member on hand to help keep the volunteers on script and to ensure they aren�t upsetting the potential voters.

The Thompson campaign�s online effort represents a bold experiment in decentralization. Very few campaigns have ceded this sort of control to their volunteers because of the risks. The campaign can�t monitor what its volunteers say when they reach out to early-state voters, many of whom might not have been contacted by the Thompson campaign before. Also, since anyone who is registered on the Web site can download lists of early-state voters, supporters of other candidates (say, Ron Paul?) could use the lists of voters and have a little fun..."

response #1 by K Gardner:

Phone from home and expend as much energy as your Candidate ! n/t

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2318968

On a thread by Connonym:

      ooh! new freeperisms! Does democrates rhyme with Socrates?
Look what I found on Amazon(?I know, Amazon?). You almost have to think that they're just pulling our leg because they can't really be this moranic can they?

"I think when I see those bumper sticker on the cars 911 was an inside job, I totally agree, and inside job by Bill and Hiliary Clinton, and the democrates. They had the information to stop it, but did nothing about it. So if we want to pass blame let put it where it belongs and have the Clintons confess to their lack of taking action to pervent this tragetiory. And well their at confess all of the illegal actions they have been involved in, and pay up for them. Lets quit putting thiefs in office and find an honest person, who wants to help our country out not hurt it, and the middle to lower class people"

http://www.amazon.com/gp/forum/cd/discussion.html/ref=cm_cd_ef_tft_tp?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx20DX5GEB7TUX8&cdThread=Tx2O3BWEM4DP6YI

response #4 by unpossibles:

      wow
I heard Clinton went back in time and assassinated JFK and Lincoln too!

Someone should write a comic about how Clinton did everything bad in history, except the grassrubes movement would think it was non-fiction.

response #16 by bob_weaver:

      Next they're going to be blaming Al Gore for global warming.

The Lounge, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7155601

On a thread by EV_Ares:

Flying Spaghetti Monster Inspires Wonky Religious Debate
"To a group of earnest academics who study faith, the Flying Spaghetti Monster -- the spiritual icon of a new internet-based religion -- is more than just a spicy pop-culture dish.

They use words like "didactic device" to describe the beloved but carb-heavy god of Pastafarianism. They say the FSM is cloaked in a 'folk-humor hybrid body,' and reveals a web-fueled movement toward 'open source theology' that challenges existing beliefs.

Pastafarianism is 'quite clearly confronting order with disorder, a profound kind of religious activity that we often overlook,' said religious-studies professor and author David Chidester on Monday during a panel discussion about the belief system at the American Academy of Religion's annual conference in San Diego, which drew 9,000 attendees..."

response #4 by Ezlivin:

Yeah, it's cheaper but harder for most users to install and maintain
Most religious people prefer using established theologies like Christianity because of their larger installed user base.

Plus there are a lot of themes for the GUI: Protestantism and Catholicism UIs are very popular. Some have even installed and run Mormonism (it's a newer theme and finally out of beta now), but have some interface problems in certain parts of the country.

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2321174

On a thread by EnviroBat:

      Is it just me or has Cheney seemed to vanish from the media lately.

response #1 by unhappycamper:

      He went back to his crypt after Veterans Day.
I think I heard something about an oil change. :shrug:

response #7 by marmar:

      Hibernation season.....
He'll come out in search of raw meat soon.

response #10 by maine_raptor:

      It's that time of the year.
You know, the Holiday Seasons; Joy to the World, Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Fellow Humans , and all that.

He can't stand it. Gets all depressed, curls up in a fetal ball, and Lynne has to hand feed him bits of flesh taken from the backs of poor, orphaned black children until he snaps out of it.

Don't worry, he'll be fine, and back to his usual snarly self in a couple of months.

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2317228

On a poll by proud2Blib:

Are you in favor of tasing Code Pinkers?

response #70 by The Straight Story:

I thought you said 'Tasting' and I was gonna vote yes
:rofl:

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2316854

On a thread by KoKo01:

      Heads UP! Did any DU'ers hear Bush's Turkey Speech today where he told Cheney joke?
From transcript: "I also thank everybody who voted online to choose the names for our guests of honor. And I'm pleased to announce the winning names. They are 'May' and 'Flower.' They're certainly better than the names the Vice President suggested, which was 'Lunch' and 'Dinner.'"

response #2 by sarcasmo:

      It wasn't Dick's joke about Jeff Gannon?

response #4 by Virginia Dare:

      Why is Cheney suddenly high comedy fodder for the White House?
are they trying to mitigate the fact that he's an evil prick?

response #7 by Kurovski:

      It doesn't surprise me that Cheney considers a whole turkey to be one meal.
Eat hearty, Blippy McFibrillate.

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2319749

On a thread by rodeodance:

Obey holding presser saying McConnell is the bugger. Tune in now

response #4 by Kingshakabobo:

Who did McConnell bugger?

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2319865

OP by salinen:

Saying grace options
DU style: Goddess, we thank you for this bountiful harvest. We hope others worldwide have peace this day.

Freeper style: American Jesus, thank you for being so generous to us chosen clones of you. N'er a homo sits at this table, which must please you. Marriage remains sacred, and our animals are safe from cousin Billys advances. We wish all Muslims, Homos, ACLU'ers and Environmentalists taited stuffing. We have armed ourselves as you've asked, to reclaim the universe for us. The war against the browns continues, and we thank you for that. And thank you for this turkey which you so generously gave permission to kill, for we control the earth and all it's inhabitants, just as you gloriusly designed. To those less fortunate on this day, we care not, for true enjoyment of Thanksgiving must include others suffering. Awhitemen.

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2325817

OP by Perseid:

I would like to say: Vote for Me
for these reasons.

No mother will ever have a baby on the table trying to put food on it. Ever again.

We will fear only fear itself, and nothing else, ever again!

Go shopping, it keeps the terrorists away as long as you have duct tape in your little fist.

The dollar will always fluctuate in value. That's why we have credit. And newly passed laws that put most in prison for being unfortunate ones.

Buy Chinese! It's the American Way!

The Russians used to drink vodka to get rid of the pain, we shall drink Budweiser!

Vote for me! I'm an idiot!

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2326811

On a thread by cat_girl25:

      MSNBC Breaking: An Arrest has been made in the disappearance of Natalie Holloway

response #9 by dicksteele:

      That sound you just heard was Nancy Grace having a spontaneous screaming orgasm.
I recommend avoiding all TV for a few weeks until it passes.
It's not gonna be pretty.

response #20 by IanDB1:

      Rita Cosby has always been my prime suspect.
Ever notice how Rita was always around when one of those girls disappeared?

Convenient, isn't it?

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2326379

On a poll by cboy4:

      Is it okay to tamper with Bush/Cheney bumper stickers?

response #6 by notadmblnd:

      much better to just point and laugh

response #7 by Kutjara:

      Absolutely not.
Nothing says "I'm a knuckledragging asshat" quite like a Bush/Cheney sticker. It is a useful warning to other drivers that the occupant of the car is devoid of common sense, has no consideration for others, and exists in a world of their own.

Tampering with such a useful notice is the equivalent of removing the "biohazard" sign from the wall of a research lab. It places others in unnecessary danger.

response #9 by proud patriot:

      No , but I like to leave notes
like "some asshole put a bush/cheney sticker on your nice ride"

:evilgrin:

response #11 by IanDB1:

      Only if they're not on private property.
If someone has stuck one on the back of a stop sign or something, then yes.

But if they're on someone's car...

... then destroy the entire vehicle, or leave the sticker alone.

response #28 by eppur_se_muova:

      No?? Dang, and here I already stuck one in a urinal.
Looks like I was a bad boy. :evilfrown:

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2326484

On a thread by KitchenWitch:

      Have you ever wanted to put someone on ignore for something they posted to someone else?

response #2 by Southpawkicker:

      i just put you on ignore
for posting that to the lounge

:spank: :spank:

response #4 by KitchenWitch:

      Cool!
My life should be very quiet now...Hitler.

The Lounge, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7162377

Poll question by Boojatta:

      99.99999967% of Americans aren't Hillary Clinton. Why are a mere 99% of US Senators not HRC?

:bluebox: People who aren't Hillary Clinton aren't as smart as Hillary Clinton.

:bluebox: People who aren't Hillary Clinton aren't as politically astute as Hillary Clinton.

:bluebox: People who aren't Hillary Clinton don't work as hard as Hillary Clinton.

:bluebox: People who aren't Hillary Clinton make poor career choices.

:bluebox: There is still prejudice in America against anyone who is not Hillary Clinton.

:bluebox: None of the above.

response #1 by Boojatta:

      Deleted reply because it just occurred to me that it didn't make
any sense.

response #2 by NoPasaran:

      You deleted a reply simply because it didn't make sense?
I don't think anyone has ever done that before.

response #4 by emilyg:

      Sipping that turkey early?

response #5 by McCamy Taylor:

      People who aren't Hillary Clinton aren't as Hillary Clinton as Hillary Clinton.
Any scientist could tell you that.

:silly:

response #6 by Kurovski:

      I just realized that I'm not Hillary Clinton.
Oh my God. Thank you.

The first step in recovery is admitting the problem.

response #8 by slackmaster:

      I voted "People who aren't Hillary Clinton aren't as politically astute as Hillary Clinton."
Not that I actually believe that, but nobody had picked it yet and I felt sorry for it.

At press time, "There is still prejudice in America against anyone who is not Hillary Clinton." was winning with 52% of the votes.

GDP, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3747811

On a thread by 1corona4u:

      Michelle Obama Canceled the View

response #10 by MethuenProgressive:

      It's an Oprah v The View thing. Oprahs want exclusive rights to the Obamas.
Vote for Barack and you'll get a new car! :rofl:

response #11 by TexasProgresive:

      Did you just make that up out of your incredible brain?

response #12 by MethuenProgressive:

      No, Czeslaw Milosz appeared to me in an opium hallucination.
And chanted it, accompanied by lute and lyre. :eyes:

response #13 by TexasProgresive:

      Doesn't sound like the Milosz I know.

GDP, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3746516

On a thread by yasmina27:

      U.S. aircraft carrier denied access to Hong Kong
"China has unexpectedly denied the USS Kitty Hawk aircraft carrier and its accompanying ships entry to Hong Kong port for a long-planned Thanksgiving holiday visit, the U.S. State Department said on Wednesday..."

response #1 by IanDB1:

      Maybe they're testing it for lead? n/t

response #5 by citizen_jane:

      US dollar no good in China sailor boy. nt

response #10 by simmonsj811:

      Five euro please
Anything you want...anything...yes anything you want :evilgrin: :silly: :crazy:

LBN, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3074353

On a thread by ccpup:

      Hillary got fired!
In 1969, Hillary graduated with departmental honors in political science...

That summer, she worked her way across Alaska, washing dishes in Mount McKinley National Park and sliming salmon in a fish processing cannery in Valdez (which FIRED HER and shut down overnight when she COMPLAINED about unhealthy conditions)...

response #5 by Olney Blue:

      Story sounds fishy to me.
:)

response #17 by Enrique:

      she spent a summer sliming salmon?
were they running against her? ;-)

GDP, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3744981

OP by BOSSHOG:

      April 2010 - Dana Perino's New Book
Dana admits she was unaware that bush was lying to her all along when she was his press secretary and that she actually lied about Scottie McClellan on 21 November 2007, but dana says in her new book she was "unaware" of her lies. She also says she laughed in 2007 when she read on the website Democratic Underground that bush would always be on her resume as if that would be a bad thing. She admits now she had to write the book to make ends meet Because bush is on her resume and like others in bush administration she's considered rather toxic to potential employers. Legitimate employers.

The Title of Her New Book - Unaware but Cute!

response #1 by soothsayer:

      Chapter 1: Thank God for Cancer!

response #2 by cigsandcoffee:

      She was great on "Different Strokes." n/t

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2326479

On a thread by IanDB1:

A friend of mine told me that Brit Hume has serious dirt on Robert Novak...
but he refuses to use it, and won't say what it is...

response #3 by BOSSHOG:

I have a cousin who has a neighbor
who says novak likes to go to the dominican republic with limbaugh and fuck little boys. And the neighbor's uncle says limbaugh gets his pool boy to get him and bobby viagra but there has been some question about the success with bobby. But my cousin's neighbor says we can't tell anyone. Surely someone with conservative values can confirm all this information.

GDP, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3747657

Poll question by Kurovski:

      Which Phrase is Most Overused by DUers These Days?
With almost a year to go before the presidential election, discussion here seems to be peppered with a number of handy phrases/concepts/thingies.

I'm wondering, which one already makes your eyes involuntarily roll into the back of your head?

:bluebox: Pot meet kettle.

:bluebox: _______ Hater!

:bluebox: You're doing the Right Wing's work for them.

:bluebox: Electable/unelectable.

:bluebox: Project much?

:bluebox: It's sad...

:bluebox: Stop interupting the discussion with facts. (Or its variants.)

:bluebox: Have a nice evening/day/life.

:bluebox: The popcorn smilie. (no text.)

:bluebox: Kurovski is too smart and handsome.

response #28 by Bicoastal:

      Two Words: Straw Man.
There have been enough Straw Men and Women pronounced on this board to populate an entire Straw City, complete with a Straw Baseball Stadium and a Straw Metro System to get there.

response #63 by CTyankee:

      You could say the same thing about "douchebag."
Each douchebag comes with a set of instructions on usage and rebuttals of arguments used by those who attack the use of the term.

response #78 by autorank:

      I voted early this a.m. for "too smart and too handsome"
Then I got in a recursive loop - the software kept telling me, "are you sure there's not something wrong" or some Delphic saying. But my vote registered.

You are too smart and too handsome. Deal with it! :evilgrin:

response #83 by Kurovski:

      It's Agent Mike.
I blame the NSA for your software issue. Things became "oddish" at a certain point during my promotion of this frivolous, right-wing assisting, blank-hating, projecting, unelectable thread.

Or, it could be that the Greek Chorus living in your hard drive wanted their breakfast.

response #90 by autorank:

      Or it could be the deft hand of your favorite publisher, Larry Flynt n/t

response #101 by Kurovski:

      God, I hope so.

response #94 by scarletwoman:

      Sorry. If you want my eyes to roll into the back of my head, you'll have to work for it.
I'm assuming, of course, that a man as smart and handsome as you has some experience in this area.

response #105 by Kurovski:

      I feel a case of performance anxiety coming on.
Either that, or the feeling of discomfort one has upon being revealed as a bragging, deflated gasbag.

response #114 by scarletwoman:

      Here, will *this* help?
:eyes:

response #115 by Kurovski:

      Such "patience" will always help coax Wee K to action.
:rofl:

response #117 by scarletwoman:

      You obviously wish to try my patience.
O8)

Tons of other smart, handsome replies in the thread. At press time, "Kurovski is too smart and handsome." was winning with 24% of the votes.

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2323105

Poll question by rateyes:

      In light of the newest McClellan revelation, what should the people's House do?
Given the choices below, what should be the response of the House of Representatives be to hold Bush and Cheney accountable? Think before you vote!

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

:bluebox: Impeach

response #1 by Turbineguy:

      So many choices....
My brain is going to explode. OK, I'll just close my eyes and pick one.

response #2 by rateyes:

      According to the exit polls,
impeachment seems to be the early favorite.

response #63 by H2O Man:

      Other.
You should have a place for people to vote for impeachment.

response #68 by scarletwoman:

      You go to vote with the poll that you've got, not the poll you wish you had. (nt)

Many more unimpeachably funny responses. At press time, "Impeach" was winning with 50% of the votes, with the remainder split between "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach", "Impeach" and "Impeach".

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2327195

On a thread by Poiuyt:

I'm looking for a simple Thanksgiving blessing or grace

response #1 by ulysses:

"pass the damned gravy"?

The Lounge, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7162954

On a thread by Karmadillo:

      Dick Morris vouches for Novak: "He's never proven wrong. He's always right"

response #1 by pinto:

      Oy, Dick Morris vouches for Novak? There's a joke there somewhere,
or two or three.

:eyes:

response #2 by Hekate:

      Sure he's always right. Far right.
sheesh :eyes:

response #3 by NastyRiffraff:

      Bwaaaahaaahaaa!
Dick Morris...Dick Morris vouches for Novak's always being right? That's like Al Capone vouching for legality, Nixon vouching for truthfulness, Bush vouching for competence.

GDP, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3747745

OP by Hissyspit:

Happy Thanksgiving. Republicans Suck.
I am thankful that I am not a Republican.

Because Republicans suck.

But I am even more thankful that you are not a Republican.

Because Republicans suck.

I do regret any divisive broad-brush language I am using, and would make an attempt at not making using of it but for the fact that Republicans

SUCK SO MUCH.

Even when Dems suck, they can only hope in vain to aspire to the heights of suckiness that Republicans reach.

Examples from 2007 of Republican sucking:

- Philosophy that says it�s right to subsidize insurance companies, but not to provide health care to children.

- Ann Coulter claiming we'd be better off if women couldn't vote.

- Sen. Brownback (who?) rushing to defend Gen. Pace's anti-Gay comments.

- The White House comparing Bush's obstruction of justice known as the Libby commutation to the pardons issued by President Bill Clinton.

- The president commuting Libby's sentence.

- Larry Craig.

- Bill O'Reilly saying Shawn Hornbeck enjoyed being abducted away from his parents and school and being made to perform sexual acts against his will.

- Karl Rove, the DOJ Scandal: political prisoner Don Siegelman.

- Rudy Giuliani claiming he had been down at Ground Zero as much if not more than the rescue workers. (And then trying to weasel out of the statement.)

- "Duke" Cunningham's hot tub.

- Almost pretty much everything they said or did.

- Etc.

SUCK
SUCK
SUCK

MUCH SUCKNESS. In the quality and quantity as only Republicans can deliver it.

(Addendum: I apologize to any Republicans who are making honest, strenuous effort to not suck so much. Please continue this effort. Most effective anti-suckiness practice? Don't vote for Republicans.)

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2329259

On a thread by NewJeffCT:

Krauthammer even more delusional than usual in op-ed
"What's changed in the last year? Bush's dress and diction remain the same. But he did change generals � and counterinsurgency strategy � in Iraq. As a result, Iraq has gone from an apparently lost cause to a winnable one.

The rise of external threats to our allies has concentrated their minds on the need for the American connection. The revival of American fortunes in Iraq � and the diminished prospect of an American rout � have significantly increased the value of such a connection..."

response #2 by Red Zelda:

Coultergeist makes more sense
than this old asscrack.

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2329963

OP by file83:

      I must confess to the DU....
If I read a post that has 13 Recommends, I am compelled to vote it up to 14, whether I like it or not.

What's your DU confession...?

response #1 by Tuesday Afternoon:

      my confession --
anything above 5 is overkill :D

response #2 by Audio_Al:

      Math and engineering background...
I like to round it up to the next prime number.

:sarcasm:

response #3 by madeline_con:

      I like to vote "other" in polls. n/t

response #15 by Perry Logan:

      I'll recommend any thread that doesn't viciously attack Democrats. There've been a few.

response #25 by Kurovski:

      I spend a lot of time imagining all of you naked.

response #34 by scarletwoman:

      I knew that.

response #49 by NNN0LHI:

      I don't vote jack

And don't want anyone voting my stuff either.

:P

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2328870

On a thread by Akoto:

Scientists Find Fossil of Enormous Bug
"This was a bug you couldn't swat and definitely couldn't step on. British scientists have stumbled across a fossilized claw, part of an ancient sea scorpion, that is of such large proportion it would make the entire creature the biggest bug ever.

How big? Bigger than you, and at 8 feet long as big as some Smart cars.

The discovery in 390-million-year-old rocks suggests that spiders, insects, crabs and similar creatures were far larger in the past than previously thought, said Simon Braddy, a University of Bristol paleontologist and one of the study's three authors..."

response #3 by Old Crusoe:

"...our client, Mr. DeLay, was gratified with the conclusive results of the geneaological
research in his behalf."

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2331322

On a thread by Yavin4:

Why Did The Bush Presidency Happen?

response #15 by graywarrior:

Well, they had planned this for years and then took advantage of a blow job.

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2332054

On a thread by malaise:

      Deadly blast in Iraq
"A bomb explosion has killed at least 13 people at a crowded market in the Iraqi capital, Baghdad.

About 50 were hurt in the blast, which targeted the popular Ghazil pet market, held every Friday. The bomb was hidden in a box containing birds, police say."

response #1 by mwb970:

      The old "bomb in the bird box" trick, eh? /nt

response #2 by malaise:

      Nah
mine in the canary!

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2333143

On a thread by edbermac:

      Gun Nut News - Holiday Edition: Bullet meant for dog kills owner.
"Police said a southeastern Indiana woman chasing her dog was fatally shot by a neighbor after the dog ran through the neighbor's property.

Nicole Stroud, 29, of Wadesville was pronounced dead Thursday at Deaconess Hospital in Evansville.

When deputies arrived at the scene, they found Stroud in the backyard, surrounded by onlookers as volunteer firefighters performed CPR.

Officers arrested Linda Lindauer on preliminary charges of involuntary manslaughter and reckless homicide in Stroud's death.

Police said Lindauer apparently was trying to shoot the dog. Instead, the bullet struck Stroud, who was visiting her grandmother's home for the day..."

response #1 by Demobrat:

      If the dog had had a gun this never would have happened.

response #9 by Buzz Clik:

      Guns don't kill people. Murderous assholes with poor judgement carrying guns kill people.
I've always found great comfort in that sentiment.

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2334386

On a thread by BushOut06:

       Mankind 'shortening the universe's life'
"Forget about the threat that mankind poses to the Earth: our activities may be shortening the life of the universe too.

The startling claim is made by a pair of American cosmologists investigating the consequences for the cosmos of quantum theory, the most successful theory we have. Over the past few years, cosmologists have taken this powerful theory of what happens at the level of subatomic particles and tried to extend it to understand the universe, since it began in the subatomic realm during the Big Bang.

But there is an odd feature of the theory that philosophers and scientists still argue about. In a nutshell, the theory suggests that we change things simply by looking at them and theorists have puzzled over the implications for years.
...
New Scientist reports a worrying new variant as the cosmologists claim that astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos..."

response #2 by Mythsaje:

      It is the duty of every young wizard to fight entropy.
:D

Or so suggests Diane Duane in her "Young Wizards" series.

So maybe it's not just a job for wizards.

heh heh.

response #3 by SpiralHawk:

      And what are the corrupt republicon homelander cronies doing about this?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Down with entropy !!

Down with corrupt republicon homelander sex-deviant cronies !

Up with exergy !!! Or Whatever !!!

response #7 by Orsino:

      They haven't figured out how to blame Bill Clinton specifically?
They're not trying.

LBN, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3075325

On a thread by quinnox:

David Icke: Hillary is the Illuminati candidate
He was on Coast to Coast and said on the republican side its Giuliani and on the Dem side Hillary is the Illuminati candidate.

Either one according to him will serve the Illuminati in their quest to form a one-world government with absolute global control over the earth...

response #6 by stellanoir:

Yup merely pandering to the
"baby sacrificing, blood sucking, shape shifting reptilian" demographic once again.

I jokingly blame flat tires and slow service in restaurants and stores on them ALL the time.

GDP, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3750244

OP by malaise:

      Breaking on MSNBC: Oh my Gawd!
Poland is withdrawing her 900 troops from Iraq in 2008.
Georgie boy is on his own.

response #1 by CJCRANE:

      Oh no!
I forgot Poland.

response #7 by hlthe2b:

      But, but, but....
How about Palau? They'll save the day, right? Yeah, Palau!

response #9 by Vinca:

      Oh no, not the Poles. Isn't Tonga still there?
The Coalition of the Breathing.

response #12 by SoCalDem:

      Tonga ran out of coconuts, said they had to go get more.. and
well they never came back :)

response #40 by MetaTrope:

      Maybe if we gave the Poles a billion-dollar embassy in Iraq they would stick around?
Unless of course, they don't like leaky pipes.

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2333080

OP by lame54:

I just got back from Walmart and.....
i picked up a couple of Chinese kids really cheap - I'm going to chain them in my basement and have them make me some clothes - Thanks Wal-Mart

http://ihscslnews.org/view_article.php?id=65

response #1 by IanDB1:

Make sure you save their kidneys for the black market when they die! n/t

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2334957

On a thread by Botany:

      Wisconsin man shoots 2 pet goats after his wife refused to get beer.
"The 48-year-old from Waupaca, Wisconsin, returned home from a hunting trip on Saturday, and was allegedly angry at his 22-year-old daughter for letting the family's two pet goats out.

While his daughter was on the phone to her mother, Mischler asked her to tell his wife to buy him some beer.

When his wife refused, Mischler allegedly threatened to shoot the goats.

After his wife returned home, she and her daughter heard four gunshots outside..."

response #3 by MnFats:

      pet goat....pet goat....something accursed about that phrase...
can't quite put my finger on it...

response #5 by MADem:

      Pet goats and fucking idiots--a dangerous combo we know all too well!!!! nt

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2335381

On a thread by kurth:

Shooter Says He Mistook Cow for Coyote
"A man says he shot and killed a neighbor's cow after mistaking it for a coyote. Authorities and the owner are skeptical.

The undersheriff in northern Michigan's Benzie County says he doesn't see how anyone could confuse a 1,400-pound, pregnant cow with a coyote, which typically weighs 20 to 45 pounds. And anyway, shooting coyotes is illegal during deer-shooting season. Authorities asked the county prosecutor to bring charges..."

response #1 by valerief:

Was the shooter named Cheney? If so, the cow will need to apologize for looking like a coyote. nt

GD, November 23, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2332653

Poll question by pabsungenis:

      Forget who should replace Bush, who should replace Grovelbot?

response #1 by alfredo

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2305594

On a thread by SoCalDem:

      Look out, Dallas.... he's headed YOUR way..

response #12 by 8_year_nightmare

GD, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2304723

OP by Swede:

      Dinosaur found hosting talk show on CNN.

response #1 by rurallib

response #5 by Capn Sunshine

The Lounge, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7149086

On a thread by Akoto:

      Dinosaur found with vacuum-cleaner mouth

response #7 by RetroLounge

response #9 by WakeMeUp

response #15 by SoCalDem

The Lounge, November 17, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7149024

OP by Botany:

      Have you seen the latest Polls? Major Movement in top 3!

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2314814

OP by SoCalDem:

      Gonna be a LOT of republicans scrambling for jobs soon.. let's analyze their qualifications

response #8 by Virginia Dare

response #17 by 8_year_nightmare

response #34 by pepperbear

response #37 by Heywoodj

response #43 by Dr_eldritch

GD, November 19, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2311853

On a thread by CatWoman:

      Strap in, shut up and hold on. We're going back.

response #6 by Yavin4

response #11 by Kutjara

response #15 by Gidney N Cloyd

response #21 by petronius

response #29 by SeattleGirl

The Lounge, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7157246

OP by KansDem:

      Strange photo of Bush with turkey

response #5 by Tierra_y_Libertad

response #8 by BridgeTheGap

response #9 by citizen_jane

response #14 by aint_no_life_nowhere

response #15 by sakabatou

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2319670

OP by Flabbergasted:

      Bush the faith Healer....

response #1 by shain from kane

GD, November 20, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2318905

OP by SoCalDem:

      Looks like they painted a target on the bird..for Cheney?

response #2 by Uben

response #4 by trof

response #6 by soothsayer

GD, November 21, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2323399

On a thread by Hissyspit:

      Happy Thanksgiving. Republicans Suck.

response #2 by Swamp Rat

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2329259

On a thread by Akoto:

      Scientists Find Fossil of Enormous Bug

response #12 by faygokid

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2331322

OP by catmandu57:

      Thank you Swamp Rat

response #5 by Swamp Rat

GD, November 22, 2007: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2329640