The threats to my marriage

[Tab]

Real or potential:

- Inability to get along with my wife by compromise or acceptance
- Substance abuse (me or her)
- Physical abuse
- Incompatible extended families
- My dogs don't get along with her cats
- Loss of affection or trust
- Adultery (leading to said lack of trust)
- Not making time for each other, diverging, growing apart.

It's late on a Friday, so that's all that strikes me at the moment, but you get the idea.

Hey, I just saw on the news how Terrance and Philip down the street are a threat to my marriage.

How do you figure?

[rusty quoin]

1. That's tough...many problems. n/t

[Tab]

2. You miss the point

I happen to be happily married. I was just listing the potential abuses to ANY hetero marriage. That's why I said "real or potential". The ultimate point is that any threat is between me and my spouse, not from some third party living down the street. I was hoping I wasn't that obtuse.

[rusty quoin]

3. Yes, I completely missed the point. Sorry, and I read too fast.

[Tab]

6. No prob. I've done it myself.

And goodness, if all those were problems in my marriage, I hope I wouldn't be advertising it! :)

But really, damage to your relationship is self-caused (you or them or both, either in terms of choices or actions). Your neighbors aren't any more of a threat than the kind of gas you fill up with at the pump.

[FloridaJudy]

17. Only if Terrance and Phillip were boffing your wife

..and I suspect they're not interested, thank you.

I can never figure out how letting other people get married threatens anyone's marriage. Me, I just throw them a nice shower and buy them kitchen equipment. You can never have too many lasagna pans.

[robinlynne]

13. no you weren't.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

4. Terrance and Philip dim by comparison

Don't they?

I've never understood how someone could feel so insecure in their marriage, or so unclear as to what it supposed to signify, that they'd consider same sex marriages to be a threat to their own relationships.

[Der Blaue Engel]

5. Perhaps they fear that if same-sex marriages were viewed as legitmate, lawfully recognized unions

their spouses would come out of the closet and dump them for someone of their own sex. :shrug:

That's the only threat I can figure.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

9. You may have a point

I've never thought of it that way before, but could be coming close to the cause of the insecurities.

[magellan]

18. That's it, but maybe it's not their spouses they're worried about

A lot of them are THEMSELVES hiding/afraid of their true sexuality. Look at all the Repugs who have bright, perky families they parade around with and yet they're caught fooling around on the side with someone of their own sex. Sometimes I think they join the GOP just to punish themselves.

[JohnnyLib2]

7. Nicely put.

And here in the Bible belt, you'd probably be demonized, prayed for, or both. 'Tis strange indeed that there is no threat to be found in the "threat to marriage."

[Breeze54]

8. The only 'threat' to any relationship is loss of trust.

I get your 'drift'. You are absolutely right!!

What happens between 'Jane and Dick' or 'Tom and Harry' or 'Sue and Gloria' is between

'Jane and Dick' or 'Tom and Harry' or 'Sue and Gloria' and has NOTHING to do with me or my LIFE!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Great OP!! ;)

K & R'd !

[TechBear_Seattle]

10. Oh, you have that all wrong!

If we allow homosexuals to marry.... It is obvious that.... I mean, everyone knows that.... Well.... Give me a moment.... Uh....

Well, it will! My preacher said so!


(Nice post, BTW :hi: )

[Joanie Baloney]

11. It's easy to figure...eh!

Terrence and Phillip are Canadians. They're a threat to your marriage just like they're a threat to our borders.

Q.E.D.

;)

[eridani]

19. Blame Canada!

You unclefuckers.

[eridani]

20. Blame Canada!

You unclefuckers.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Funny...As I was reading down your list, I was tempted to make a snarky comment...

about just being thankful that the gays can't get married; but of course the gravity of your situation sounded like nothing to snark over. Then I read the Terrance and Philip comment.

The government needs to butt out of people's bedrooms.

[alittlelark]

14. Terrance and Phillip threatened our marriage

So did Terrie and Phyllis.

In the Castro this Halloween (Rockin' party).


We got past it, and had a GREAT night!

[saracat]

15. Hey the cat thing is a deal breaker! But seriously I can't get how anyone else's relationship

gay or straight. could possibly be a threat to my marriage unless of course my husband or myself are involved in the other relationship! I mean are we supposed to consider our next door neighbors a "threat " because they are married? Are all marriages a threat? Just wondering. I have never been able to figure the "threat" factor out!

[racaulk]

16. When you said Terrance and Philip, I immediately thought of this:

Very nice post, and thanks for putting this in perspective. :thumbsup:

K&R

[Tab]

21. Yep, that's the reference

Was just tempted to make up "George" and "Walter" (or whatever), but then had an inspiration. Of course, Terrance and Philip would need to "clear the air" about their relationship first. Anything more, I just won't bother getting into (you either know the reference or you don't), but regardless, you do know the point of the post.

[Midlodemocrat]

22. But, Tab. What about the children?

:sarcasm:

[Beerboy]

23. This would be the instance where it's best keepin it potential

than keepin it real.
Good Luck.

[dddem]

24. you forgot one...

Financial problems. I live in Massachusetts. After 23 years at his job, my husband was laid off, with no warning and 6 weeks severance. For over a year, my kids had no health insurance, because COBRA would have cost the same as my mortgage payment. This happened while our state was debating the dangers of gay marriage, and it's threat to mine. Nobobdy cared about the fact that my kids were uninsured, or that by wiping out our 401K (to pay my bills) we could screwed on our taxes. I had to refinance my home to pay the IRS. Three years later, we still haven't recoverd financially. My husband got a new job eventually, and I took a full time position with my company, but we aren't making what we used to, by a long shot.
I'm not whining, mind you, because I appreciate the fact that things could have been a lot worse; I'm just recalling how, at the time, it was a joke to me that the people who oppose gay marriage based on the threat to traditional relationships, actually don't give a rat's ass about things that society and the govermnment can (and should) legitimately do to help families in need in this country.
By the way, gay marriage is still legal in Massachusetts, and lo and behold, I just celebrated my 20th anniversary.
Peace.

[Tab]

25. Oh, there were lots more

I just was too tuckered to think of them.

The ultimate point is, the success of my relationship is due to my choice of a partner and my ability to manage that relationship. I have friends who are gay, and in love, and more power to them, because certainly the hetero way of things isn't perfect either, with a 50% divorce rate. And I'm pretty sure that not legalizing it isn't going to (1) stop relationships from happening and (2) going to have any goddamned effect on MY relationship with MY wife. Suppose you say "Japanese and Eskimos shouldn't be allowed to marry because they're a threat to the institution of marriage"? I don't get it, it's a bullshit argument, and it frosts me that everyone (or many) fall for it. Finally there seems to be some undercurrent thought that allowing gays to marry will create more gays. Hello??? Someone seems to have missed high school biology.

WHO GIVES A SHIT? I think the bigger issue is that they think of it as an acknowledgment and/or tacit acceptance of homosexuality, and that's what the real issue is. I grew up in a more accepting culture and, besides thinking we have bigger problems to solve, I really don't care who other people spend time with, or even their lives with.

I'm sorry, I'm just probably preaching to the choir. The stupidity of it just pisses me off sometimes.

[dddem]

26. No need to apologize

Preach away! When I heard (back when this issue was first brought to the forefront) that 65% of Americans aren't bothered by the thought of GLBT rights, but the 35% who were were being so vocal, That's when I started opening my big mouth. I slapped my "Straight but not Narrow" and my "No discrimination in the Constitution" bumper stickers on my family station wagon, and drove all around preaching about civil rights, and what we should REALLY be protesting (That's another discussion, I know); but the point is, NOBODY argued with me! It's up to us to support the rights of others, even when it doesn't benefit us directly. Being fair and compassionate is something WE ALL SHOULD PREACH. You Go!
Peace.