"If Jesus Christ were here, I think he would shake his head in shame."

[MnFats]

"If Jesus Christ were here, I think he would shake his head in shame."

this from a former protege of Oral Roberts, who considered him his "black son" while Richard was the white one
he got thrown out of Oral's church for rejecting the idea that a loving God would make those who served him poorly would be thrown into a burning lake of fire for all eternity.

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?articleID=071009_1__Aform70656

[sakabatou]

1. For you all know

Jesus was a Gun-toting, fire-breathing, Schwazneggar-esque "bulldozer."

[Az]

Here ya go

[Ezlivin]

4. Jesus is coming soon

[gratuitous]

2. A quick review of the last six years of Republican misrule

And I think it would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

[FiveGoodMen]

8. ARMAGEDDON DAYS (are here again)

If you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey, you've got another think coming
If he ever finds out who's hijacked his name
He'll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

-- the the

[EVDebs]

3. Hell is a Norse word

Hell
http://scriptures.lds.org/bd/h/32

and

Hell
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hell

fires of gehenna means Valley of Hinnom, which eventually became Jerusalem's 'dump' site --where fires burned continuously, get the metaphor ?

The absence of the presence of God seems to me to be a better way of phrasing it. Flame me if you will !

I'm a Christian but tend to read a lot and this gets me into a lot of trouble with others. Judge not lest ye be judged and live and let live as a colloquialism are words to live by; The greatest commandment is the hardest to keep.

[monktonman]

6. Cool, I'm not the only one.....

I was just about to post how Jesus couldnt possibly be real.
If ever there was a time to cast the wicked into hell that time is now.
So whats up J.C.? what are you waiting for?

[EVDebs]

7. If he was pissed with the moneychangers then...wait till he sees this crew in DC !

That's the only time in the Bible where I know Jesus blew his top and started tossing tables around.

He's real and nobody could make up this stuff; the irony of his execution device being the symbol of ... what ? Redemption, salvation, new starts. Even Aldous Huxley's perennial philosophies,

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/has80803.page

"In fact, the Steps echo what writer Aldous Huxley called the "perennial philosophy," or a core set of ideas and practices shared by many spiritual traditions. The Steps have one major concern: human transformation, the kind that Bill W. experienced in becoming sober"

shows the power of what JC was on to, even if you aren't religious.

[Raejeanowl]

17. Maybe He Needs Pelosi's Phone Number

He can show her how to clean House?

(I'm gonna hate myself for that one)

[mikeytherat]

5. Actually, he'd never stop throwing up.

"You see the whole culture. Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up." - Frederick (Max Von Sydow) from "Hannah and Her Sisters," discussing television

mikey_the_rat

[Hell Hath No Fury]

9. I saw a CNN special on that preacher...

I have to say, he was pretty amazing! He went 180 from his Oral Roberts training - decided God loves gays and there is no "hell", only what hell we create here on earth for ourselves.

Pretty brave of him.

[Va Lefty]

10. There is a line in "Hannah and Her Sisters"

Max Von Sydow's character says "If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up." It was true in 1987, and even more so today.

[Az]

11. The song Armageddon Days are Here Again by The The

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
he'd be gunned down cold by the CIA.

ARMAGEDDON DAYS (are here again)

They're 5 miles high
As the crow flies
Leavin' vapour trails
Across a blood red sky
Movin' in from the East
Towards the West
With balaclava helmets
Over their heads
YES!

But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey, you've got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who's hijacked his name
He'll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

"It's War" she cried
"It's War" she cried
"This is War!"
Drop your possessions
All you simple folk
You will fight them on the beaches
in your underclothes
You will thank the good lord
For raising the Union Jack
You'll watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back
Watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest
Behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows
Upon the human heart
But God didn't build himself that throne
God doesn't live in Israel or Rome
God doesn't belong to the Yankee dollar
God doesn't plant the bombs for Hezbollah
God doesn't even go to church
And God won't send us down to Allah to burn
God will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it's sown

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon Days Are HERE!!!

[deaniac21]

12. Jah Rastafari

[JuniperLea]

13. Black Sabbath had it right...

Won't you help me Mr. Jesus ~ Won't you tell me if you can ~ When you see this world we live in ~ Do you still believe in Man?

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

14. He'd be in Gitmo or some other secret BushCO gulag THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE!!! nt

[kimmerspixelated]

15. Jesus was a bleeding heart liberal.

The rethugs would railroad him out of town or try to imprison him. They'd be holding their noses the whole time they went to hug him, once they realized they made a mistake...so the Bible thumping base would still vote for them!...I believe Jesus was a real person that lived, but he was just a really good guy with great ideas...he wasn't this magical person.He never READ the Bible. His magic was the power of LOVE! He had a wonderful message with blueprints for the best kind of life, but God is not his image, God is something you can't imagine, or maybe God is the Sun, for pete sake's!

[deaniac21]

16. He did some kitchen cabinets for a distant relative of mine.