What happens to emotionally handicapped children when they grow up?

[LostInAnomie]

I just recently started a job as a program assistant for a program designed for elementary aged emotionally handicapped children. Being a relative rookie to this type of work, these past few weeks have been an eye opening experience for me. For the most part these are normal, well behaved children that seem indistinguishable from other kids their age, until something sets them off. The normal trials of the day that most people wouldn't blink an eye at throw these children into uncontrollable fits of anger that almost nothing, besides restraint and time, can stop. It makes me wonder, what is going to happen to these kids? They seem to be incapable of handling normal levels of stress as it is. As they grow up and continue to fall behind in school (many of these kids are LD, or at least far behind academically) I can only imagine the stress getting worse. How will they function as adults? Do they eventually learn to cope? Do they get better? Do most of them find regular jobs?

Anyone know?

[Deja Q]

1. As a person who was designated as one, and let's face it IS one...

With difficulty.

I am fortunate to be intelligent enough to know my failings, even if my emotional development has yet to catch up to my intellectual acuity. Which may be unfortunate as I still often have significant problems coping.

Lord knows I try...

And don't ask about personal relationships. Maybe on 17 March or 15 April when I'll be a designated drunk...

And I know everything I am talented and good for is either not economically viable or being offshored. But at least more neurotypicals feel the same way in that respect these days.

Maybe we ought to give the big corporations the boot and all make our own little companies, loyal to each other?

And this is as pithy as I can ever get.

[LoZoccolo]

4. I'm not trying to dog you, but...

...do you think your stress about being outsourced might be one of those things that are out of proportion? It seems like it worries you a lot. I have a lot of anxiety problems myself and worried about that same thing for a long time and still get a little cringe when I hear about outsourcing. But cheer up, man, I think you don't give yourself enough credit! :hug: The companies are finding out they don't really save that much, all told...like 20% maybe. I'm not as worried anymore. Matter fact I got a call from a headhunter, and the firm they are recruiting for has like five positions open.

[Deja Q]

6. Agreed. It does worry me a lot.

maybe undeservedly so, but with so little going in life, seeing the ability TO live go out the door (and judging by product quality, down the toilet) is very scary indeed.

Time will tell. It always does. And like the song says, you gotta keep the faith. (Bon Jovi, not George Michael. :D )

[Skittles]

outsourcing is still in full vogue

these companies don't give a crap about service, they care about their bottom line. They may be finding they're not saving as much as they thought they would but if they are saving ANYTHING they'll keep doing it.

[Deja Q]

10. That will still rebound on them eventually...

[SharonAnn]

17. Even if it's only a 2 % savings, the executives will get a bigger bonus!

[proud patriot]

7. Thank you for this post HypnoToad

much more than you know .

I'm the mother of a 10 year old who is in a school
for children with emotional issues .

He is a great kid with an amazing intellect . It has been
a lifelong struggle to accentuate the positive . We have
traveled many miles of bumpy road the bumps have lessened
with coping strategies and calming techniques . The therapist
is teaching the kids yoga . The school has been a blessing ,
we are fortunate to have a public school set up with all the
trained staff to help these brillant children .

Thanks again . :loveya:

[Breeze54]

2. All things improve with age...

....hopefully.

Thanks for all you do.

[Gabi Hayes]

3. They become fundamentalist ministers, republican politicians?

stuff like that?

[lancdem]

5. and Repuke presidents

[MadMaddie]

8. Yea and that...

[MichiganVote]

9. What happens depends on many factors. Some make it, some don't

many drop out and of those who can wise up--- they do. Most hate school b/c it has been a struggle. All of them have families that compose various mental health conditions so support from their families is in scant supply. A great many are on medication after medication during childhood---most reject the meds when they grow into adolescence.

The variants are endless and surprising at times....

[AlienGirl]

11. It depends on what you mean by "emotionally handicapped"

Some neurological differences (like Asperger's) continue to be influential parts of a person's life, but not necessarily in a bad way. Adult Aspies can have good jobs, solid friendships, relationships, and raise kids (though little neurotypical kids are confusing). At the higher levels of functioning, you wouldn't even know they were different until they started talking about a favorite topic or until you tried to get them through a mall full of shiny stuff and noise.

Kids with mental illnesses like depression will usually become adults with mental illnesses. In the case of depression, early treatment with medications and talk therapy can mitigate the effects, keeping the depression from becoming life-threatening. Untreated depressive kids seem more likely to grow up to be severely depressive adults.

Tucker

[LostInAnomie]

12. Oh, I deal with a wide variety.

Autistic, Autistic/Bipolar, ADHD/Bipolar, Chronic Depression, feces smearers, abused, Bipolar/incapable of REM sleep, etc.

There are a few that I can see becoming productive members of society, but so many of them I fear will never learn any coping skills. If they don't learn the skills they need to cope with stress I can't imagine how they will react in adult situations when jobs and lives are on the line.

[kineneb]

20. children w/untreated depression

grow up to be adults with depression. I was not properly diagnosed until I was in my 30s, when I finally saw a real shrink and got medication. I did OK academically, because I also deal with OCD (really common with depressives). But I have great difficulty dealing with stress, and easily slip into anxiety/panic attacks, which can be cause or be preceeded by depression.

I have had 5 major episodes, each of which took months from which to recover. Depression damages the memory, and I am missing about 10 years total of everyday memories. Also, it is difficult for me to remember lots of stuff, so I learned to be a really good note-taker while in college.

To the OP- good luck with your kids; I could have easily been one of them.

[TankLV]

13. They become repuke presidents and vice presidents and congress people?

Just my thoughts based on too many years of observations...

[gordianot]

14. Excellent question, in a few years there should be a definitive answer.

Schools are now required to track student progress as a part of their IEP when they graduate. There is a general emphasis (last 4 years) on transition outcomes. I am sure your job is an eye opener, it is hard for many to begin to imagine some of the challenges in working with students that are now called ED (Emotionally Disturbed) students. After 35 years working with disabled students the problems I am seeing in my judgment are more severe. Many of the students labeled Behavior Disordered would not receive services in todays educational environment (they were much less severe). Yes many students learn to cope and many do well. I have also seen some students with tragic outcomes. Hang in there dedication does make a difference. Don't give up.

[jwirr]

15. I am sure that the stories vary. My brother stumbled through life

for many years from one area to another trying to fit in but always the round peg in a square hole. Religion in Arkansas, beaten up in Texas, ignore and shunned in Iowa. Finally he came to visit me while living in his car and with only the clothes on his back.

Fortunately, our family has an acreage that belongs to the whole family. We think of it as a haven and various family members have lived there off and on for years. I told him that we needed someone to look after it for all of us.

He went home and has found some peace and purpose in helping us. We have found the same peace in knowing that he is safe. He has found a woman who was willing to marry him despite his problems and he keeps busy. His health is actually much better because he is free to handle his life to fit his needs.

Our story has a happy ending but I know that many do not.

[MN ChimpH8R]

16. It all depends

These days, there's an awareness about PDD/Aspergers and similar conditions so many kids get some help. Such was not the case when I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s. I was a weird kid and I grew up to be a weird adult. I've never been able to hold a job even though I got my law degree at Harvard. I have been unemployed more than not over the last three-plus years and for the last fourteen months straight. I am on general assistance and medical assistance. I've never had a date, much less a relationship.

When I was a kid, they still gave IQ tests in first grade. I was off the charts on that so I was accelerated a couple of years. I was always a bully magnet and at the top of the class. I knew I was different from my classmates - they understood things and situations that sailed past me. The only places I ever fit in were the pot-smoking musically oriented counterculture of the 1970s and in academia.

At the suggestion of my former counselor I applied for some non-legal jobs, including at a financial services counselor. A vice-president of one of the firms at which I had applied late in 2004 called me in early 2005 and said he wanted to meet me, though not for the purpose of offering me a position. In our meeting he told me that in his 20 years of hiring people for the firm, he had never seen a set of test scores like mine. I had scored in the top two percent of all test takers on the “academic skills” section of the test. I had also scored in the bottom three percent of all test takers on the “social skills” tests. I wasn’t terribly surprised, but I found it interesting enough to tell my counselor about it.

I could almost see the light bulb come on over her head. “I wonder if you’re Asperger’s. That would explain so much of what you have told me.” I filled out a couple of tests for Asperger’s Syndrome characteristics and scored highly on them. My counselor’s preliminary diagnosis was confirmed by a psychiatric diagnosis several months later.

You learn to cope, somehow, particularly if a PDD is combined with superior intelligence. You learn how to rationalize things and it's hard to miss things that you have never had. What really sucks about Asperger's is that I get the punishment because others feel uncomfortable around me.

My future is so uncertain at this point, that I may wind up homeless if a friend doesn't buy out the equity in my house and assume the mortgage.

[left is right]

18. Speaking from the perspective of a parent of a grown child with EHs

they take dangerous and unnecessary risks, have poor decision making capabilities, trust the wrong people, and drift from one dire situation to another without a clue as to how they get into them. Besides, all of that, they break their mothers and siblings' hearts without realizing it or ever meaning to.

[fed-up]

19. My 45 YO EH brother died today, an abusive, drug using alcoholic :( n/t

[LostInAnomie]

21. I'm sorry to hear that.

My condolences.

[salin]

26. I am so sorry to hear of your loss

both before today (loss to the abuse) and that of today. RIP to your borther - and peace to you and your family.

[Bluerthanblue]

22. the real question is-

just what is a "normal level of stress"-???

And the follow up question would be:
How many people who SNAP and either drop out of society, or do outrageous things, (like Tim McVeigh, the Columbine kids) maintained adequate grades, were gainfully employed, and weren't identified as ED when in school?

Personally, I believe kids who 'act out' are often more healthy in the long run. Most people have more stress in their lives than humans are made to cope with- especially in this world- The stress that humans have lived with through out history was usually one of 'survival' and not one of too much stimulation, media overload, and societal overdosing.

My youngest child, who is now 13, has taught me to see this world from a very different perspective- and what I see is quite frankly, OVERWHELMING- and depressing. Acting out, is harder to handle, but quite possibly far more healthy in the long run, than those who 'act-in' and then suddenly implode, or explode.

Or those who slowly drink, drug, _____ themselves to death, and the millions of others leading lives of quiet desperation.

[12string]

23. Emotionally Handicapped

Many become policemen.

[leftofthedial]

24. some of them become "president"

[KharmaTrain]

25. I've Grown Up Around Handicapped....Now A Guardian

My older sister, who is about to turn 58, was born mentally handicapped. Instead of institutionalizing her...which was the common practice in the 40s and 50s, my late mother took a very active part in my sister's life and quality of life. My sister's emotional and mental state is equivelent of a 6 year old and my mother dedicated the rest of her life to not only making my sister's life but also in creating better opportunities for other handicapped people as well.

From my earliest days, I was around handicapped people and I developed a respect for these people and the plight their family is going through. Nothing teaches one more about the differences in people...and, unfortunately, the cruelty in many...and to develop some compassion as when one spends a lot of time with disadvantaged people.

Now you ask "do they get better". It depends on the person. There's no template as to what is "mentally handicapped" and that the quality of life depends on the person and the care they've gotten. Today, my sister remains as a 6 year old emtionally, but lives a very happy and comfortable life. She lives in a community which my parents helped found, and now I'm an overseer, which she and a dozen others live. They have jobs provided by the center, lots of activities and health care. These people watch over each other in their own society...while there are times where it's not always smooth sledding, it's still a world where all feel welcome and they're treated with respect.

I won't get into the politics and money that are an ever on-going job in keeping her center running and to help establish more in other areas and communities. The past 6 years have been a disaster as funding to many such programs have either been cut or severely curtailed.

You ask a lot of interesting questions that are best answered by volunteering at a local center that deals with handicapped people. The real issue with many is that they are human beings...people with feelings and emotions...and how society can look at them "funny" or attempt to dehumanize them.

[LWolf]

27. Ask me in another 15 years or so,

and I'll let you know. That's when my grandson, now in my son's custody after his early years of abuse and neglect with his mom. We've poured every last personal, family, community, health, legal, educational resource available into helping him. Two years, and the progress is there, but so slow, and so small, that you would have to be in the room with him 2 years ago to really be able to notice it. His social/emotional wounds and scars are still horrifically visible and active. No matter what we do, it seems that there are some things we cannot overcome.

Will more time, therapy, special schooling, and consistent, safe, love and nurturing at home make a difference, or will he be a rage-filled, manipulative bully as a man? Only time will tell.