== Bush Pardons Entire GOP = By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Prez "pre-emptively" saves all Repubs from becoming "prison bitches." Dems: "Can he do that?"

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2007/07/11/notes071107.DTL&nl=fix

Allegedly reacting to some sort of hallucinogenic fever dream following an overlong bubble bath during which he reportedly sputtered lots of motorboat noises and ate one too many purple crayons, President Bush today made the stunning yet somehow entirely understandable announcement that all Republicans in his administration are hereby officially excused from any and all crimes they have committed, are in the process of committing, are planning to commit, or even merely fantasize about committing while encased in sweaty latex bodysuits in any one of a number of GOP-friendly D.C. fetish dungeons.

"People! My people!" Bush shouted suddenly during an otherwise completely useless press conference, raising his arms over his head and tilting his head back and convulsing slightly, just as a nameless reporter finished asking a question about... oh like it even matters because we all know the answer would've been complete bulls--- anyway so let's just say, immigration policy reform.

"Come to me, you shockingly large numbers of corrupt and disgraced Republican senators, representatives, aides, deputies, secretaries, lobbyists, governors and mayors and secretly gay meth-snorting right-wing Christian evangelists, and I shall remove from you the burden of legal, ethical, spiritual and yes even genital responsibility for all crimes you have almost certainly committed under the dark umbrella that is me! I am the walrus!"

Bush was apparently emboldened by his unprecedented and widely reviled commutation of L. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's prison sentence just recently, a move widely considered to be one of the more repellent abuses of power in a kaleidoscopic drunken funhouse of abuses lo these past 6.5 years, though he appeared to be staring up at the heavens as he spoke, just little bit astonished that lightning was not striking him dead on the spot. ...

[Swamp Rat]

1. Get 'em Morford!

""Come to me, you shockingly large numbers of corrupt and disgraced Republican senators, representatives, aides, deputies, secretaries, lobbyists, governors and mayors and secretly gay meth-snorting right-wing Christian evangelists, and I shall remove from you the burden of legal, ethical, spiritual and yes even genital responsibility for all crimes you have almost certainly committed under the dark umbrella that is me! I am the walrus!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: **pant! pant! ** :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:









:kick:

[Swamp Rat]

3. LOLOLOLLLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Swamp Rat]

8. kick

[Emit]

2. *URP*

'scuse me.

[TalkingDog]

4. Giddy as a schoolgirl....

Damn, I wish I didn't have so much work to do...how can I revel in my bathtub sized schadenfreude with the rest of you punch-drunk madmen if I can't stay on the intertubes?

Think of me fondly as you are drinking your champagne and dancing barefoot on the tables, arms akimbo as you laugh and laugh and laugh......




My favorite Future Famous Dead Artist: KarenParker

[unblock]

5. don't give him any ideas!!!!

[catzies]

6. Mark Morford is a National Treasure

n/t

[ProudDad]

7. Utterly Great!!!

I love good satire....

Ooops, this wasn't satire, was it?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Recursion]

9. People snort meth now?

The kids these days...

[AZBlue]

10. Oh, that's funny!

K&R

[leftchick]

11. The best is the last....

<snip>

"He can't do that! Wait, can he? Can he do that? Isn't there some sort of, like, legal or constitutional mechanism in place to stop him from doing stuff like that?" Pelosi scanned the confused faces of the various congressional aides standing around her office, but got nothing back but lots of people staring at their feet. "Hello? Anyone? What the hell do I pay you people for?!"

Pelosi then sighed heavily and sipped some organic green tea. "You know what it makes me wish? It makes me wish there some sort of, say, large political body here in Washington, one that was right now controlled by, say, a completely different political party than this awful president," she said wistfully, as the aides glanced at each other furtively and rolled their eyes.

"Wouldn't that be great? And this group would have, say, some sort of legal and political oversight power to step in and stop this sort of thing, to formally rebuke the president and demand some sort of accountability and maybe even launch formal impeachment proceedings? Can you imagine?"

"I like to think it would be some sort of deeply flawed but absolutely essential system of, oh I don't know, checks and balances or something, and it would help ensure that this cretinous mealy mouthed little sonofabitch couldn't get away with stuff like this anymore.

"That would be so cool, wouldn't it? Man, I wish we had something like that here in America. Don't you?"

[Swamp Rat]

12. "his eyes rolling around in his skull like marbles in Satan's pinball machine."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"... ding ding ding ding... TILT!" :rofl:

[icymist]

13. Absolutely one of the best Morfords ever!

KICK!!!!!:kick:

[Spazito]

14. ROFLMAO!!!

That is a MUST-READ and a keeper!


Thanks for posting this, it made my day and maybe my week!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: