Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Socially Disconnected from Mainstream Society

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Health & Disability » Asperger's/PDD Group Donate to DU
 
Jkid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-28-10 04:17 PM
Original message
Socially Disconnected from Mainstream Society
When I was at school Id never participated in an after school club. I did not want to go to an after school club because of the fear that my mom will say no. Ive never been to such a club until college. Even then the club that I usually visit the most is the Terrapin Anime Society. However for some reason or another, I tend to skip those meetings. Even when I attend the meetings, no one talks to me. And as if I have to come over to a person and talk to THEM. But I don't feel like it. Unless a topic is related to the club like the anime or the otaku culture.

I never had any close friends for YEARS. This is because I never had any mainstream interests (such as mainstream TV shows, music, fashion and such) and I kept things to myself. In some cases things that I hate that everyone liked at the time made me the subject of severe bullying that lasted for YEARS. Its like some people will not let things go. Despite the fact that I go to the anime society, and made a few friends, they never contact me.

I never had a girlfriend; I had little interest of one since a incident at middle school.

I had little interest in American television. When I was a teen, I was too old for PBS Kids, too dumb for teen nick, and too self-aware for Disney Channel. I had no interest in primetime TV at the time. I had little interest in sitcoms, reality TV shit, and various crime/murder dramas. Playing video games wasnt an option because I had bad grades as a result of the constant harassment I had from high school. So I ended up on the internet. For years internet forums and for some extend instant messaging were my primary forms of socialization because Ive gotten so much negative socialization in middle and high school. I ended up using the TV as background noise, a practice that I still do today.

I've gotten into some American TV shows, but the rest of the programing do not appeal to me. Most of the good stuff are either late at night (I have no DVR.) or on subscription channels (my university only has extended cable so no Nat Geo Channel or HBO) Most of my TV shows come from Britain and Japan via bittorrent.

Even today, I don't play much video games as a result of my father constantly complaining that I play too much video games, even when I don't play them as much.

I had little interest in sport. I used to like football and soccer, and later I grew disinterested after thinking to myself what the point of men being interested in sport? At one time I was dragged to a baseball game during the summer of 2006, a game where that I actually enjoyed. But when my dormates watch football or basketball I just look away. I still do play a game bowling once in a while

I do go out, but I dont go out much because the fear of spending too much money.

I dont do much clothing shopping. As matter of fact I dont care about fashion sense at all. I dont buy much new clothing.

I do have friends, but I never had any close friends. I have a Facebook and a Myspace but my friends never contact me at all. Even ones I meet at school. Its as if I have to contact them myself.

I never had a car. As an end result I was effectively trapped in a neighborhood were a metrobus runs from Monday-Friday and does not run on weekends. I will be forced to pay the price for it in the form of $6,000 bucks for driving course and for 30 hours of extra driving lessons I have to get from the state.

Im perpetually unemployable. I quit two work-study jobs because I had to concentrate on school work one month before finals in college. I tried to get another job but one of my stupid cousins decides to walk out and forced to leave UMD for three weeks. I had lost any interest in getting a job at all. I realize even finding a job is a farce, you have to be fucking aggressive in finding one, calling the employer yourself even if they ask you to not call me. And when do get an interview you realize the your job skills are nothing compared to personality teamwork, and how kiss ass and dont complain. Even if I get a job, if I graduate, it will most likely be a shitty service job. The only other job experience I had is from working at my dads office for a period of time.

Then you have the years of severe bulling and name calling I was forced to endure until I ended up with two suspensions (the idiots at school did not realize that I needed help instead of given out fucking useless advice. If they really did not care, why did they had the balls to do that. The end result to this day, I became more aggressive when someone is being an asshole or treats me shit. Even though I was transferred to a non-public school, the damage has been done.

The end result is because of this Im socially disconnected from mainstream society. I dont have any real close friends, my socialization is mostly online, I have little interest in mainstream pop culture,I have no car, I have a pessimistic view of the world , perpetually unemployed, and a recluse. And to be honest, Ive became so self-aware of how society really works that I refuse to reconnect to it. Even if for some reason I get a job I refuse to socialize under their terms.

And it does not help that I'm African-American and have Asperger's.

Don't tell me to put in the past, the past can find me. Don't tell me to GET over it, because the only way to get over it is to get through it, which I'm still doing. And especially don't tell me to deal with it, if you're not actually tell me to HOW to deal with it.

Do you feel the same way?
Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
Jkid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-28-10 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. P.S.
And to be honest with you, I'm actually happy that I'm disconnected from mainstream society. At the same time everytime I see a group of people walking together, I long for companionship yet at same time, because I'm used to becoming a anti-social recluse that feeling goes away after a while.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-28-10 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thanks for writing here, Jkid.
I also live in Maryland (Hagerstown), and used to be closer to College Park than I am now.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-28-10 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
3. Great post!
:hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-10 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
4. You are not alone, Jkid.

In many ways, you have described my son
and what he goes through everyday.

Thank you for giving me your (and his)
perspective!

:hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Demeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-03-10 08:18 AM
Response to Original message
5. My Daughter Lives the Same Life
and she is unaware and unaffected by it. I worry about it. Maybe I should be glad that she is spared that awareness...she's 27. She lives her life on video.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-10 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. That's because we on the spectrum are from Oz
The others are not.*

*A lil shout-out to a book that I'm trying to write.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
miscsoc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-13-10 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
7. I feel more or less exactly the same way.
Edited on Tue Jul-13-10 12:40 AM by miscsoc
I don't have any idea how to get over or through it. "I have a pessimistic view of the world , perpetually unemployed, and a recluse" applies to me also. All I can say is admire this attitude: "Even if for some reason I get a job I refuse to socialize under their terms." I've briefly had jobs and have done the tasks required of me better than most, but as for the social shit - it felt beneath my dignity, which sounds pretentious but isn't really - I couldn't interact socially in a dishonest way with those people and retain my self respect.

I should rephrase that: I didn't consider THEIR behaviour undignified or objectionable at all, but I knew that it would be as impossible for me to act like them as it would be for them to act like me, and I didn't feel obliged to do that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Jul 31st 2014, 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Health & Disability » Asperger's/PDD Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC