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21yo friend of the family was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer

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noiretextatique Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-25-10 02:28 PM
Original message
21yo friend of the family was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer
and she doesn't want to deal with it at all. I am so alarmed by her attitude that I've been trying to convince her to at least consider surgery, but she is so afraid she doesn't want to do anything right now. She just got the news recently, so hopefully she will wake up...and soon. She just moved to California, so she will not be eligible for leave from her job for another SIX MONTHS. I don't know if the law has changed yet, but another friend of mine got diagnosed with uterine cancer before she had insurance, and she had to wait six months before she could have surgery because it was a pre-existing condition. Her cancer was Stage 1, and thankfully was handled with surgery only. I keep telling this young lady that ovarian cancer is no joke, and certain not Stage 3. I am afraid she is endangering her life by not dealing with this situation NOW.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can convince her to deal with her health issue ASAP? I so afraid that her inaction could cost her life. Thanks.
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-25-10 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
1. I don't know how to get her to go, but you're right to worry.
My mother just died two weeks ago from liver failure brought on by ovarian cancer. Please, keep trying to get through to your friend. :hug:
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noiretextatique Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-25-10 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. so sorry about your mother, forkboy
:hug: i told her that no doctor can tell her when she is going to die, and if she wants to live, she has to have the surgery. her dad died because of chemo, and i have friend who has heart damage because of chemo, so i understand her fear of chemo. however...the surgery is a must, and the sooner the better.
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 11:26 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. I'm so terribly sorry about your mother, Forkboy
Hope you're looking after yourself and getting plenty of rest.
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Tracer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 08:35 AM
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3. You could tell her ...
... that she won't necessarily have to take a work leave, and that chemo isn't as bad as some would have you believe.

Yes, a week or 10 days recuperation from surgery, and a day off for chemo. Her employers could very well be supportive of her.

Tell her not to throw her life away for a JOB.

I wish I were a better writer so I could be more persuasive.

-----

Forkboy -- my condolences.
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shrike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 11:26 AM
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4. Holy crap. Stage 3.
She's probably either in shock or in denial because of her youth. Jesus Christ, 21! What is going on here? A relative of mine recently died, colon cancer, was diagnosed at STAGE 4 at 44. She lived one year.

Do you know anyone her own age who could talk to her? People that young tend to trust their peers over their elders. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you're not a peer.

Can you get on websites with her, show her what's on the internet about ovarian? That might also help. Might have to be a "Scared Straight" situation, and I don't think I'm over-reacting.
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madmax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-10 06:09 PM
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6. Wait 6 months? Ovarian cancer - no way.
I'm stunned that she would wait. Does she have family that could intervene and maybe help her to confront this and not deny that it's there and needs to be treated - yesterday! This is tragic.
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