My wife's poem about her parkinson's (and again, screw you limbaugh)

[The Straight Story]

My thread earlier about my wife and letter to limbaugh:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2470781#2477983

Today, she wrote this about it all:

PS - her name here on DU is AutmnMist


One Day

One day came without warning
A perfectly innocent day full of promise and sunlight against office windows
Harsh reality stood behind large glass doors hiding like a thief in the shadows
There were no stop signs
No haunting Hollywood music to make the moment seem predictable.
No safety net for me to fall back into against the glare of neon.
I was a willing player with faith wrapped around me like a cloak of armor.

And the dance began

The whispered diagnoses was like a scream ricocheting in my mind
This cannot be….I am 35 years old
Doesn’t that count for something?
“Where are the brownie points?” I thought to myself as I sat on cold paper covered vinyl
clutching my husbands hand because it was the only link to home in this now hostile territory.
The doctor’s office with pastel colored flower paintings suddenly became winter
and I had my back to the winter gale.

I sat with a smile frozen to my lips and tears running down my face
Where was the safety of the car?
Where was the safety of my youth?
Where were the safe spots so we couldn’t play tag with my life?
Now I was “it”.
One day had come to my window to roost
Can I draw the curtains?

One day I had thought to myself when I was younger
One day I will climb snow covered peaks
One day I will learn to play the guitar and sing like an angel
One day I will become a mother and raise my children in a home full of love
One day will make the dreams I have a possibility
One day…
Isn’t there always time?

Knock, Knock
One day is at the door…Its for you!

So I went home and shed tears over a lost reality
and laughed in the face of a new one.
My new friend one day stood outside patiently waiting for me to embrace it
Waiting for me to open the door and invite them in
I wasn’t so sure this was the dinner guest that I had planned on entertaining through the years of my life
But there it was.
Like a slow rain falling…

I realized as time passed and the whispers of my diagnoses silenced themselves
That the dreams I had were always there
The dance of life had always been played out before me
I had just chosen to fill up my dance card with the rigors of daily life
The little things that drive us to forget that our “one day” is not something that is convenient
It’s not something that we do not fight for
It’s not something to be taken for granted
Embrace the tomorrow that you think may never come
Make it happen today
Don’t let it go
Don’t let it falter
Don’t let it slip

Because one day we will all look our own mortality in the face
It will also be at your window like a new dawn
And when the rays of the new dawn hit your face may you always see that you do have the time to make it happen right now
Dance with your fears and embrace the things that have always eluded you
Take the time to see who you are underneath the white noise of daily life
Take the time to love like you never have before
Take the time to play when you don’t feel like you have anything left
and if you do these things you can let the elusive “one day” into your life and simply ask
How do you like your tea?

[helderheid]

1. beautiful and heart wrenching

[NanceGreggs]

2. I'll come back when I stop crying ...

... in the meantime, here's a K & R. This is too beautiful not to be seen, and shared.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

3. K&R... Jesus, it just took me 20 seconds to find the ampersand...

My love to the both of you.

[The Straight Story]

22. Just found my original thread on it all

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1144775

Man, am I a tad depressed tonight :(

[NC_Nurse]

4. So beautiful.

She is gifted and moved me greatly. I have had many patients with Parkinson's. I will share this.
:hug:
Thank you.

[AutumnMist]

26. Your Post

has meant so much to me. Thank you for responding to the poem. I know what your patients are going through. Tell them that we are all a family. Doesn't matter what age or what we have gone through. We will (hopefully) take care of each other. I will be first in line. :yourock:

[The Straight Story]

28. I know it's been a hard night babe

but I am here with ya, and many thanks to fellow DU'ers chiming in.

Was good to see you smiling tonight.

[NC_Nurse]

5. K&R

:kick:

[bigwillq]

6. .....

:hug: :cry:


My grandmother had parkinson's and I am outraged by Rush's comments.

I don't think an apology is enough. He should be out of a job.

[AutumnMist]

24. For Your Grandmother

:hug: Thank you!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

7. Just another post to make sure this stays near the top...

It should be read.

[The Straight Story]

8. Thanks man

much appreciated. She just wrote this a little while ago, and she rarely writes. I hope she does more often.

[Spazito]

9. Wow, incredibly moving and very powerful

Thank you for posting this and your wife for writing it.

[KittyWampus]

10. I haven't cried in a while. That's really touching

[brer cat]

11. No words, only tears and some understanding...

my dad had PD.

My heart is with you and your wife!

[blm]

12. Love her a bit more for all of us tonight, Straight.

She's a very moving poet.

[angstlessk]

13. Like Nance, I too am crying..I knew when I saw the thread it would be

amazing. You were so amazingly loving, and you love your wife, so I knew this poem would be amazingly moving. I was not disappointed.

Tell your wife she has a gift of poetry..and should persue it..get a blog and post her poems. AND send her poem & picture to Michael J. Fox...he would probably LOVE the reality behind the very moving thoughts that her disease conjured. They were both so young when the disease struck, and so many people, like me, think of it as an old person's disease.

[qanda]

14. What a beautiful reminder

To cherish life and live it to its fullest.

[The Straight Story]

17. Indeed

It hits kinda hard at times really. Going along in life, having a good time, then BAM! We had it all it seemed, decent job, a wonderful daughter, and dreams. And then it all got changed in a matter of seconds.

Reminds me of the song 'live like you were dying' which is my wife's theme song now. Maybe she isn't 'dying' in the traditional sense, but she is becoming more limited in her ability to live out her dreams.

Pains me to no end.

[The Straight Story]

18. Link to the song (in case you don't listen to country)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gQqu6GaYAs

[stop the bleeding]

21. .

Because one day we will all look our own mortality in the face

courage


thank you

[nashville_brook]

15. thankyou for sharing this

i was already weepy today... and this kinda cleared me up. i like my tea straight up... i think i'll go make some now.

[mom cat]

16. Dear Autumn Mist. Your poem shows an even deeper beauty than your

strikingly beautiful picture. I so admire your wisdom in the face of such adversity. I am bookmarking your words to be a beacon for those who will need suchunderstanding in the future. I pray for your healing, and even more pray for the sick souls that refuse to care. They are a lot sicker than you. Yours is physical ... theirs is soul death.

[Jeanette in FL]

19. Like many others, I can't say anything

That was beautiful. K & R for other to see.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

20. Uno mas

:kick:

[AutumnMist]

23. Thank You To All Who Posted

My biggest hugs and most sincere thank you to you all. You have no idea how much this has meant to me. I wish all of you the best. :)And to the lurkers? Thank you as well for simply reading the poem. Its always appreciated. :hi: Have a great night!

[jaxx]

25. Thank you.

My mother had PD for many years. I understand.

[NanceGreggs]

27. Well, I'm back ...

... and only a LITTLE less teary than before.

Your wife has an incredible writing talent. I hope you (as well as all of us here) are encouraging her to do more of it by posting here tonight.

This will be shared ...

:hug:

[democrank]

29. Just plain beautiful

Thanks for posting.

[badgerpup]

30. K & R

:cry: :hug:
thank you for sharing your SELF (as well as your picture) with us via your poetry, AutmnMist. You are beautiful clear through.
It couldn't have been easy, revealing so much of what you must deal with.


:kick:

[BoneDaddy]

31. Love ya babe

Thanks

[SharonRB]

32. That's just beautiful

You made me cry.

:hug:

[Maat]

33. What a moving poem!

One of your greatest gifts is clearly her writing and your ability to express yourself.

[OzarkDem]

34. Oh, that's beautiful

May you and your wife be blessed. Its so wonderful of you to share your own private story to inspire others. Let's work hard to cure this terrible disease for you and all the others.

[puebloknot]

35. There really is...

...a Muse, and he/she has found you. Beautiful! You've cheered me tonight (after you made me cry)!

[JeffR]

36. I can't find words

:kick:

[ninkasi]

37. To beautiful Autumn Mist

and her wonderful husband, The Straight Story...I am in awe of your love, and devotion to each other. I will always be bitter toward the hateful people who either mock your disease, like the odious Limbaugh, or who try to deny you the hope that stem cell research promises.

When I was already 20 years older than you, Autumn Mist, I was diagnosed with ruptured discs in my neck. I will not go over the steady progress of what has become a debilitating condition, with permanent nerve damage, because by then, I already had three grown children, and several grandchildren.

I have severe; tremors in my right hand, must now walk with a cane, and have had several potentially serious falls. But you, Autumn Mist, beautiful soul that you are, has been stricken many years before I was. I have the comfort of knowing that the things I most wanted to do, I have done. It is an outrage to me that you are being denied the treatment options you could have, at the whim of some right-wingers.

If I could take your condition onto myself, I would. I will be 64 on my next birthday, and have had the chance to lead the life I chose, whether those choices were wise or not. Now, for me, every vote I cast, and every politician I support, will be the ones who use their power to nurture the younger generations. All of my children are older than you, Autumn Mist, and I feel a fierce protectiveness for people your age who have heavy burdens to endure.

Thank you so very much for your beautiful words, and thanks, too to The Straight Story, for his deep love for you, and his overwhelming devotion to you. I was moved by the beauty of the picture he posted, and I am moved now by your words, and his. Somehow, some way, we will find ourselves in power once more, and my hope is that we can work rationally on finding a cure to this terrible disease which stalks you. You are too beautiful a soul, and too precious, for us to surrender without a fight. Blessings to you both.

[Klukie]

38. Beautiful and inspiring.......

thank you.

[Old Smokey]

39. Beautiful

[spuddonna]

40. I'm sitting here, crying and laughing...

Crying because the poem is so damned beautiful, and is such a kick in the pants to realize what is really important in our lives...

And I'm laughing out loud through the tears because I saw your sig line at the bottom, "Finish your beer, there's sober kids in India" What a juxtaposition!

Thank you for such wonderful words! :)

[The Straight Story]

41. Some people don't like my sig :) but I got it from this poster and liked it:

(Reminded me of mom and telling me to finish my meal as there were starving kids in africa)

[spuddonna]

42. I think it's hilarious...

And my mom always did the same, so that's probably why I think it's so funny... I think I'll try your sig line on her at the next St Patty's Day party! :) I think she'd get a kick outta that...

[Philosoraptor]

43. thanks