"Bush Loves Flatulence Jokes-Thats Why He Is Paranoid of Women"-WH Insider

[kpete]

Bush Insider: The First Frat Boy Loves Flatulence Jokes...That's Why Bush Is Paranoid Around Women...

Animal House in the West Wing

He loves to cuss, gets a jolly when a mountain biker wipes out trying to keep up with him, and now we're learning that the first frat boy loves flatulence jokes. A top insider let that slip when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides, but forget about getting people to gas about that.

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/politics/whispers/articles...
via:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/08/21/bush-insider-t...

[w13rd0]

1. Bush loves gas...

...gee, I'm SHOCKED!!!

[Bunny]

2. Yep, he's a classy guy.

Farting in front of new young aides? Now, *there's* a great boss.

[connecticut yankee]

108. And he

was going to restore "Dignity" to the Oval Office.

[Jed Dilligan]

3. Somehow

busting a nut in the Oval Office seems more Presidential than "pull my finger."

[Nickster]

5. So true. Sad isn't it?

[1956]

14. Tee Hee Hee

Well,
Somebody needs to tell the lil f***er to quit fartin' around and do something important- like resign just after firing everyone including Duck Cheney and Fried RIce, and then place a call to Kerry and say that in fact he is the rightful prez!

[Luna_Chick]

110. ROFL

So true!

[catmandu57]

4. Seems to me

I heard that adolph was into flatulance as well, wonder what that says.

[IChing]

11. That was very true not only in his daily life but

a fascination using metaphors in his speeches in regards to human and animial excrement

[July]

63. That reminds me . . .

Isn't Bush's pet name for Rove "Turdblossom"?

[femrap]

16. OMG....there is such a thing as reincarnation! lol nt

[badgerpup]

53. GTMA...sorta

I was wondering if the name 'George' is going to fall out of favor in America as much as the name 'Adolf' did in Germany...

[femrap]

131. I bet it does...! And

for a very long time, too.

[mnhtnbb]

24. True. I'm reading Upton Sinclair's Pulitzer Prize winning novel,

Dragon's Teeth, that deals with the rise of the Third Reich. I just read this a.m. that Hitler loved to fart!

[Sanity Claws]

42. Hitler had a great deal of flatulence

He was a vegetarian and apparently ate all the wrong food.

[The Wizard]

88. Hitler was

a serial farter. He had this thing about gas.

[Kikosexy2]

105. That Chimpie...

is Hitler reincarnated....Why didn't Shirley MacLaine warn us about this..dammit!

[JitterbugPerfume]

6. could I be any more embarrased before the world?

NO I could not !! The ugly American has nothing on HIM

[1956]

9. Oh Guys Stop!

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!

[Nikki Stone 1]

7. If only he had stuck to farting and not run for office

I'm sure a reality TV show could have been arranged for him.

[LSparkle]

8. Oh yes, those Bushes are SOOOO well-bred

Klassssssy with a K ...

[verse18]

10. I love Animal House.

It's one of my favorite movies. I watched it last night and it made me realize how much I miss John Belushi.

Sorry for the hijack.

[Punkingal]

12. Now this is too much.....

He does this in front of new young aides, on purpose? He has no class and no dignity, which isn't news, I know, but really!

[femrap]

18. Damn....I finally discovered something W is good at...

he can fart on command. Georgie...Fart. Good Boy.

What a talented boy!

[Harry Monroe]

82. It's called "farting at will"

Poor Will!!!!

[The Wizard]

90. And in

late 19th Century Paris he could have had a successful stage act. Google Joseph Pujol (aka LePetomaine) as in Governor LePetomaine from Blazing Saddles.

[Malidictus Maximus]

127. He can actually

do *SOMETHING* competently?
un fucking believable

[shanti]

76. can you imagine kerry doing that?

hell no.

[SpiralHawk]

13. Farter in Chief

finally a title the AWOL fratboy actually earned...It's about time

[MisterP]

59. make that "Walker, the Farting Dog"

instead'a Walter

The Psychedelic Furs' "President Gas" was 19 years early, it seems

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. Wow! Bush Fart! ..and to think I captioned this photo about a week ago!

[BlueStater]

17. I guess it goes along with his nose picking

[sendero]

19. The problem is..

... that the words coming out of the other end smell worse than the gas.

[City Lights]

86. Good one!

Unfortunately, it's true.

[WI_DEM]

20. and this guy is the leader of the free world? what a disgrace

[KittyWampus]

65. Hey! he needs something to keep him busy in between reading 60 books.

[lonestarnot]

21. Well he can SAFOMA!

[Nitrogenica]

22. Farts are funny, as they have been since the dawn of man.

Fart jokes are the MOST dumbed down joke of all jokes, the king of them all.

Go figure.

Perhaps to him it's as funny as jokes about killing liberals.

[Lisa]

37. Terry Jones (a noted Bush critic) is going to have a field day with this

He's written a couple of history books -- "Medieval Lives" mentions the life and times of a famous entertainer, who was rewarded for his "master work" (a combined leap, whistle, and fart) with an estate, and a permanent gig ... appearing at the royal Christmas party every year to a delighted monarch and court!

Maybe Bush will follow that king's example and appoint Adam Sandler to the cabinet?

[cassiepriam]

23. He has a long time history of sexually inappropriate behavior with

women. That might be the real reason he is worried.

[patricia92243]

30. I've never heard anything of this kind. What does he do? n/t

[cassiepriam]

38. I don't know the details, but this is the prime example...

As you know Bush states that he stopped drinking after his 40th birthday party, after Laura gave him an ultimatum.

No one talks much about what happened at the party to cause the ultimatum. Some accounts describe that Bush come on sexually to an older woman, a long time family friend in a very vulgar way. (I could never find the specifics of the sexual behavior. But when we consider what he does when allegedly sober, one can only imagine.)

It was finally the last straw for Pickles.

[earth mom]

25. * has been farting around for years-this just proves it.

Looks like we have an 8 year old kid who likes to fart and pick his nose in charge of this country for 2 more years. If there is a God, please help us!

[many a good man]

26. Ever the Texas gentleman

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Aw, queenie! Ya dun hafta apologize. If you dint say nuthin' I wudda jes assumed it was wunna them horses!"

[Bucky]

27. As a Texas gentleman, I resent the implication that we all think farts are

Oh wait a minute. I laugh at fart jokes too. Never mind.

[Patchuli]

66. How do we know that is not *true?*

I wouldn't put it past the uh, dumb fart.

[nancyr]

28. Money and power does not buy class.

[renate]

79. I hate hate hate to defend Bush, but that joke has been around for years

I read this story (supposedly it happened, but with a potentate from another country) in one of the biographies of Elizabeth II, long before Bush become president.

So, funny joke, but it's not true. Believable yes, but not true.

[Lisa]

29. some DUers suggested that his "air attack" comment ...

... was in fact a fart joke.

Looks like their suspicions are well-founded.

[Lindacooks]

73. I think so too.

Can the chimp possibly get more embarrassing?

[geardaddy]

113. The problem is...

most Chimp-backers think that that's what make him attractive. Like he's just a good ol' boy.

[yorkiemommie1]

114. how true

n/t

[glitch]

31. Well that is one explanation for the grimaces on Cheney's & Condi's faces

I bet he learned public flatulence from Babs.

[Bobbieo]

34. One of these years, an 'insider' is going to make millions

with a "tell-all" book if he outlives the "farter".

[glitch]

39. "My Life with President Farty McStinkyPants"

remaindered after 3 minutes on the market.

[Lisa]

32. forgot to post this earlier -- the "farting Bush" doll

Sales should "explode" after this news story!



http://www.prankplace.com/fbush.htm
(click here to listen to it)

[TreasonousBastard]

52. Ohmigod! Pages of fart machines...

Remote control fart machine

Farting Santa ("Was that on your list?")

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart" T-shirt

Something called "Windbreaker Fart Sludge"

It's a good thing farts are funny, or this page would be really disgusting.

[tanyev]

33. He's not a guy you can sit down and have a beer with,

he's a guy you can sit and fart around with. Guess the freepers have known this all along. Must be why they love him so.

[undergroundpanther]

35. Bush farts

Because he is an asshole..Alot of assholes stink.

[d---mad2]

116. Bush farts!

Bush was having a discussion with his personal doctor one day, when he cut loose a nasty fart.

Bush said, "as President I can do this any time I wish. Besides I think it's funny and they don't smell

that bad."

"We're going to have to operate, George," said the doctor.

"On my asshole?" Asked George.

And the doctor replied, "NO, ON YOUR FUCKING NOSE."

[Montagnard]

36. We All Know the Gipper, Nicknames are Important

For Bush, I propose: “The Whiffer.”

[glitch]

40. Perfect on so many levels. nt

[klook]

49. Perfect -

He certainly does strike out a lot. One failed enterprise after another. So your nickname has a double meaning.

[Generic Other]

41. He and Pooty Poot get together and fart up a storm

This is truly embarassing. USNews reports this? We have fallen to such new lows, we will have to climb several feet to reach bottom.

[immoderate]

43. To be fair -- farts ARE always funny.

Let's give him credit. He recognizes the humor in a fart. What else can he do?

--IMM

[Virginia Dare]

44. If he's so paranoid of women...

why does he surround himself with so many mother hens, ie Condi, Karen and Harriet?

[Montagnard]

45. After all, He is the War President….We Expect Him to be Serious

Not to be farting around on the job.

[Montagnard]

46. I Bet Bush Is One of Those People

Who blames it on the dog.

[notadmblnd]

47. such a pig... I'll bet he lights them too

nt

[patricia92243]

55. lol - do we have an emotion that show choking on water when we really see

a funny post. I had water in my mouth and it came out my nose when I saw this.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

56. Yes, we do.

*spray* Just replace the * with :

[leftofthedial]

48. I'm glad the adults are in charge.

this country will never get over the shame of this particular eight-year episode of flatulence.

[Montagnard]

50. Relief for All You Up-tight Republicans, Neo-cons and Religious Wingnuts

You no longer have to hold them in; a big collective sigh and CRACK one off.

[stepnw1f]

51. Dirrrrrr.... Hey Beavis.....

What a loser for a President.

[NewJeffCT]

60. heh heh, he said "flatulence"

heh heh

[Harry Monroe]

85. Great picture

I can imagine Cheney slapping Bush as Butthead did to Beavis and saying: "Shut up dumbass!!"

But either one could be Butthead. Let's call the other one Shithead.

[indepat]

54. Everyone needs to be good at something

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

57. He farts in our general direction.

I'm just waiting for him to ask some head of state to pull his finger.

[YOY]

58. I really have to say that those who find that admiriable in a leader

really are his backwashe...er...base.

[blue neen]

61. Well, he certainly has "brain farts" all the time.

[Montagnard]

62. More Lethal Than “Snakes on a Plane!”

The entire Bush clan on Air Force One after a weekend Kennebunk kegger and bean burrito cookout.

[seabeyond]

64. chews with mouth open, smacks and talks. farts. doesnt read.

"teases" anyone around, makes up stupid names for people, cant speak english.

oh ya

this is a cultured man. learned man. presidential material.

but then we knew this already.

[Tansy_Gold]

84. You just described

my daughter's stepson. He's nine years old, and considered socially immature for his age.



'Nuff said.

[seabeyond]

97. oh, you are funny. and my 8 yr old not socially inept

has never behaved in these manners. granted, at 4, 5, 6, -10..... tell a fart joke or just say the word fartand they laugh. but then they get grossed out the way some of their friends eat. they KNOW making someone less to feel bigger is sooooo wrong and ultimately says something about that person. my 8 yr old is way beyond bush. probably intellectually too. not to mention the big picture. cna kick bush's ass. he wore his new ying/yang shirt today. wanted to know which color was yang and which ying. there was a peace sign in the circle of both the ying and yang in one of the tshirts and he said that ruined the whole ying/yang concept. i thught, ya you are right...... cant have peace on both the ying and the yang, not ying and yang anymore.

just a story told

[spindrifter]

67. Are you talking about the Farter of our country?

[bullwinkle428]

68. Next G.O.P. nominee for president - Larry the Cable Guy!

[shanti]

77. there ya go

he always appeals to the least common denominator.

[Sparkle]

69. He calls Putin as Pootie Poot.

Does he have a nickname for Cheney? Asshole?

[bananarepublican]

70. Can Bush's farts be anal-yzed? Whilst the CIA has his and Cheney's...

... excrement secured for national security reasons, a non-scripted fart would be harder to contain!

[peekaloo]

71. i'll bet he talks about the size of his dumps, too.

[SeattleVet]

72. This is the full explanation of his "Air Assault" shouts

while biking!

[unkachuck]

74. so that's what smells in Washington....

....I wish his proficiency with 'gas' would also translated into a lower price at the gas pump....paying an arm and a leg to fill up, really stinks....

[shanti]

75. isn't that special?....

our chimp is so distinguished...

[tomreedtoon]

78. Is Bush paranoid around women because they don't fart?????

Is he afraid that women are retaining all that gas, and that in an uncontrolled moment they could explode around him? Are women Weapons of Mass Destruction hiding around us?

I don't know if that was intended, but if it's true, it sure explains a lot about Bush.

[DarkTirade]

80. Oh yeah. That's the kinda guy you want running the country.

Do I even need to put a sarcasm tag here, or should I just assume that everyone on DU is intelligent enough to figure it out on their own?

[KnaveRupe]

81. Someone should introduce him to Stephanie Miller. n/t

[Harry Monroe]

83. I'm beyond being embarassed that this idiot is our Commander in Chief

What's his fascination with the anal region. Farting, "Turdblossom" and "Pootie Poot". It says a lot about his psyche, but I guess an asshole would be interested in himself.

[hippiechick]

87. "A funny, earthy guy" ????

Sounds more like a dorky 12 year old boy ....

[Tracer]

89. If you are a 3-year-old ...

... farts ARE funny.

If you still think they are funny when you are 60 years old, then "arrested development" is too kind of a description.

[Evoman]

96. Call me arrested

I find farts hilarious. Carlins fart jokes rock...see, I've gotten a little more sophisticated in my appreciation of fart jokes. Not all fart jokes are built equally, but even the lamest are still KINDA funny. Here is one I heard last week from a buddy.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

*takes a fart*

We laughed for about 10 minutes!

[savemefromdumbya]

103. Bush said his favorite book is the Hungry Caterpillar!

George W. Bush listed the book among his favorite books from when he was growing up in a 1999 survey conducted by Pizza Hut, which caused some controversy among media commentators since Bush was twenty-three when the book was first published. <1> <2> Bush has also chosen the book to read to elementary school classes. <3>

http://www.southcoasttoday.com/daily/09-01/09-02-01/e02...

[peekaloo]

91. WH spin: Boo$h is a novice chef who regularly uses a dutch oven.

I read once that on the bookshelf at Compound W there sits the Big Book of Farts. I wonder if it's the scratch and sniff version.

[noonwitch]

92. What's so bad about liking fart jokes?

Doesn't everybody like them?

Any guy who is a father hears them all the time when his kids are growing up. If you have kids ages 7-21, they make fart jokes all the time.

[Wednesdays]

94. Uh-huh. And it's just as funny to

cut the cheese around your new employees, eh?

[Bushladen]

124. Ya know

As much as I hate Bush I think that is funny. Your meeting with the Presidunce your nervous and you shake his hand and you hear a fart. As long as these are young interns I think they would find it funny too. It might help "Break the Ice" so to speak. But only with the young crowd. And I'm 45 and female but also a lesbian.

[Strawman]

93. That's the most intelligent noise to come out of the guy

That's the sad thing.

[Buns_of_Fire]

95. Are we forgetting "Whistleass?"

I figure Chucklenuts is more the SBD type, myself...

[bdamomma]

98. yup, he's an ass alright

what a disgusting man, he is just a frat boy, what a jerk.

[Javaman]

99. Perhaps someone should ask Victor Ashe...nt

[savemefromdumbya]

102. Ashe dares not to talk!

[savemefromdumbya]

100. The 'Fart Book'

He wasn't interested in ideas or in books or causes. He didn't travel; he didn't read the newspapers; he didn't watch the news; he didn't even go to the movies. How anyone got out of Yale without developing some interest in the world besides booze and sports stuns me." New Yorker writer Brendan Gill recalls roaming the Kennebunkport compound one night while staying there looking for a book to read -- the only title he could find was "The Fart Book."

[FighttheFuture]

101. Cripes... out National Embarrassment just keeps on growing!

Restoring "integrity" to the Whitehouse, the Repuglican way!

I am now fully convinced that short lived series by Matt Stone/Trey Parker "That's my Bush" was 100% spot on about the feces flinging monkey in the White House. The frat boys visit Bush episode particularly comes to mind.

[Seabiscuit]

104. He should be a guest on the Howard Stern show.

Alongside the flatulent, foul-mouthed, drunken dwarf.

[markbark]

106. It all makes sense now

I've always looked at that smirk on his face and thought "this is not the face of the leader of the free world, this is the smirk of an seven year old boy who has just heard the latest fart joke"

--MAB

[Beausoir]

107. Pig. 'nuff said.

[yurbud]

109. this makes him more likable to freepers, who fart to express their love

for each other and their leader.

Maybe Bush should adopt this the way Hitler did the stiff arm salute.

[originalpckelly]

111. You know Hitler had a gas problem.

Just sayin'.

[brentblack]

112. Who doesn't like fart jokes?

I once asked my 85 year old grandfather when I would be at an age when I stop finding farts funny. He laughed, farted and said, 'Don't know..I still laugh everytime'.

Bush is a moron, a bully and a war monger, but really...who does not laugh when someone steps on a California Barking Spider (strangest phrase I heard concerning farts).

Ooopps....there goes a 21 fart salute to my Chipotle Burrito...better get to the head quick.

[newspeak]

115. each to their own

however, in my family growing up, it was unacceptable to intentionally fart in front of others; and if one slipped, "pardon me" was in order. It was considered to be a lack of respect for present company. My uncle who married into the family farted all the time and would laugh about it, while others plugged their noses. My aunt would get so angry and would spray the Lysol on him. It was crass--I'll never forget the time I introduced this really cute boy (major crush) to my uncle and he said not one word just farted. I was so so so embarrassed. I grew up learning that farting is a necessary part of a body's function, but to intentionally do it around others was very disrespectful.

[Demeter]

117. Dubya IS Alfred E. Neuman!

"BushWorld" coming to a theatre near you.

[JVS]

118. What's wrong with fart jokes?

Bush sucks, but being a fan of fart jokes isn't one of the reasons he sucks.

[QuestionAll...]

119. what a gashole. nt

[ElboRuum]

120. J'aime le bon mot du flatus, aussi...

Mais, je ne suis pas le President des Etats-Unis.
J'espere le President jamais dire la plaisanterie du poot-poot. Zut alors!

Pardon my French, but I haven't had cause to use it for a while.

[ElboRuum]

121. J'aime le bon mot du flatus, aussi...

Mais, je ne suis pas le President des Etats-Unis.
J'espere le President jamais dire la plaisanterie du poot-poot. Zut alors!

Pardon my French, but I haven't had cause to use it for a while.

[neilepi]

122. there is a serious side to this...

..it should be cross-referenced with this post:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

I'm not sure that the top-insider was right about Bush being "always worried about his behaviour".

Neil

http://www.cafepress.com/heavenlybody

[HockeyMom]

123. Mother Complex

Whatever one may think of Babs, she is certainly not the quiet, walk two steps behind your man (like Stepford Laura) type wife.

I would guess (just my opinion) that deep down Bush is intimidated by strong women, and just women in general. So, he has to put them down and play up a bravado, macho image.

Of course, the Fundie Religion condones and promotes this. Just perfect for him.

[bklyncowgirl]

125. Wow this makes Clinton doin' Monica in the Oval Office look dignified

At least what ol' Bubba was doing was something that is generally associated with grownups or wanna be grownups--not immature third graders.

[Cleita]

126. It's how he was raised.

In Kitty Kelley's book "The Family", she writes about a famous author who was a house guest of George HW and Barbara Bush. Looking around the house for something to read, he couldn't find a single book, except one called "The Fart Book".

[kskiska]

128. Apparently, Condi doesn't mind

I've read where her language and humor runs along the same channels as *, too.

[Iris]

129. Yeah. Cuz women don't fart.

What a moron.

[Bitwit1234]

130. Bush likes to eat also.

If anyone watched Jon Stewart last week he showed where bush is obsessed with food, the Bar-B.Que in Germany and the pig. Talking with rolls in his mouth to Blair. Eating cake during Katrina. Well now there is a picture on the home page of Raw Story...bush is at it again he got his group to stop and he ordered an ice cream cone.

[Harry Monroe]

132. Bush is being unpatriotic and encouraging terrrorism...

...by his "flatulant" humor.

Fart jokes are not funny and furthermore unpatriotic!! Check it out for
yourself at this link from the "Ministry of Fatherland Security"

http://www.devilducky.com/media/46529 /

[global1]

133. I Heard The He Could Fart The 'Star Spangled Banner' And If He Didn't Win.

in '00 he was going to try out for American Idol.

[zonkra]

134. There once was an appointee named Bush

who liked to give interns a malodorous push
he'd foul all the air
blame everyone else there
then blow some more gas out his tush.

One day while asphyxiating his nerds
and the one he called the blossom of turds
he asked like a dummy
of the cadaverous Rummy
is this how Saddam gassed the Kurds?

Rummy's face turned to wax
Cheney's heart had a series of attacks
Bush started to giggle
his bowels gave a jiggle
and he unloaded down the back of his slacks!

Bush looked chagrined for a minute
but he knew Tony Snow could spin it
he thought it a hoot
as he started to toot
he didn't smell any worse than Bill Benett!