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Shadow's Taxicab Reports: Back from Iraq, looking for crack

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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:27 PM
Original message
Shadow's Taxicab Reports: Back from Iraq, looking for crack
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 03:28 PM by shadowknows69
About 3,000 just came back to our base this week and although I haven't been pushing too much for news from these guys I do have a couple small encounters to share with you.

Almost universally I hear the mantra "We have no idea how bad it actually is." I usually admit to soldiers that the media isn't showing us much of anything good or bad. There are apparently still constant albeit small attacks on the green zone. One soldier I picked up last night said that mortars were being fired at Baghdad airport as the C-130 he was in was taking off. He was coming off his first tour in Iraq and had done one in Afghanistan and was being redeployed to New Orleans to train new recruits headed to the theater. I expressed happiness at the fact that at least they were giving our boys training from vets. He told me quite a bit about our training. Said it's very intensive situational training including dozens of arabic speaking "extras" to interact with trainees. I was encouraged that maybe with advisers like this can give our boys and girls a leg up on dealing with the populace tactfully and with respect for their culture. He was obviously quite relieved to be home alive, had a new Harley waiting for him, and kept mentioning Iraq as "not my problem anymore".

We spoke in length about the two theatres of war we're in and he said that there are stark differences in the way the battles in Afghanistan and Iraq are. He expressed a warrior's respect for the Taliban saying that "They will give you a stand up fight. You back them into a corner and they'll fight to the last to get out." In contrast he claims the ones we are fighting in Iraq are definitely using city/guerrilla tactics to their advantage but also said they are "cowards" and most of the danger is from snipers and IED's not infantry fighting. I told him of one soldier's claim that we launched a 50,000 unit attack in Afghanistan recently and he said that was definitely an exaggeration. That 90% of operations are no more than battalion sized, 5,000 or so troops.

Without fail I welcome the troops home and a couple I've thanked for their service, although that phrase is hard for me to say sadly because I don't feel they are serving their country at all. Reactions run the gamut from sincere appreciation to vibes of "whatever". If you know the subtle things to look for you can tell these guys are tore up, different, pensive and experiencing culture shock. I've seen a very touching rapport between some returning soldiers clearly born of the "band of brothers" necessity that comes from soldiers fighting and dying together. Most still won't travel without a couple buddies tagging along where you might think some would want to distance themselves from the people and hell they just spent a year with.

This same soldier in fact did have some "good" stories from Iraq believe it or not. I've always maintained that many of our soldiers are in Iraq with the sincere desire to do good for the Iraqi people and I was fortunate to meet this man who seems to be one of them. He had a great hatred for the supposed "holy men" of the religious sects they were fighting. He said that one way the insurgents raise money for their weapons is to kidnap local females of affluent Iraqi families who then pay huge ransoms for their return. He says that despite the fact that many of these girls are returned when the ransom is paid, many times it is weeks later after the kidnappers have made good "use" of her. He claims we have liberated many such victims and says that he personally has found dozens of women raped and tortured nearly to death. He was clearly choked up thinking about this and for a moment I felt guilty for making him relive such horror. Then again maybe I was the only one he could dump that baggage on and if so I hope I did some good.

Needless to say I'm treading lightly in asking for stories, most of which I'm sure I don't want to hear anyway. Many are volunteering things even if they are as simple as offhand comments. I'm hearing a lot of resentment toward the Iraqi people. "They live like animals", "They have no respect for life or themselves". Needless to say I bite my tongue so I don't say something like "they probably are living like animals because we've made a good number of their cities rubble".

My last job of last night and the subject of the title of this essay is possibly the most disturbing experience I've had with a soldier. It was about 3AM and a soldier, still in fatigues approached my parked taxi and wanted a short ride to a local hotel. As soon as he got in my cab he made the comment: "I struck out", I assumed he was talking about a woman but I was wrong.

He said, "Mind if I ask you a question?"

I said "of course".

"do you know where to get any drugs?", I'm a fairly hippie looking guy and this is pretty much a standard question we hear a lot so I thought nothing of it thinking this solider wanted to smoke a joint or something. Despite my considerable connections I couldn't have helped him at that hour but again I was wrong in my assessment of the question.

"I've just been through a year of hell and I'd really like to smoke some crack"

I'm sure my jaw must have noticeably dropped to my knees.

"Sorry man that's a little beyond my scope of knowledge and in this town at this hour it's probably beyond anyone's"

My first thought, strangely enough was: Are there crack dealers in Iraq? I mean this guy obviously had a serious jones on and I just wondered how you go to Iraq with a crack habit, where presumably it would be hard to find, and make it through just to decide that your first act when you get home is to be to score some. Now I've been addicted or nearly addicted to a good number of substances in my life, crack included, but this astounded me. Anyway defeated he was going to have me take him to the hotel and as we started off he saw an african american man walking down the street and quickly said, "let me jump out and ask this guy", I complied thinking, great my passenger is going to accost a total stranger looking for crack, in fatigues, what a wonderful representation of our military.

Lo and behold the guy was a crack dealer so they both got in my cab before I could peel out, which was my great desire at that point, and directed me to take them to the "well-known by cabbies but apparently not police" local crack house.

The dealer, a little slow on the uptake finally realized this guy was a war veteran and started raving about how he has "mad respect" for our soldiers. Recognition of honor is hidden in strange corners I guess. The soldier was getting frantic and excited and started talking about the year of hell he just had.

"I had friends of mine blown up in front of me man", "I had to shoot a mother fucker in the face with a shotgun too, I'm not sure I'd be saying that if I weren't a little drunk but it's true."

Horrified by the situation I found myself in and the information I was just forced to process my only response to this soldier was "hey man, if it was you or him, then it had to be him"

He gave me a look of brief clarity in the midst of his madness and said to me "You're absolutely right brother, and I didn't even hesitate. You see in some movies where someone thinks about it but I didn't have time I just blew his head off."

Thankfully the job was over moments after that and I decided that was my last job of the night. I didn't want any chance of having to take this cracked out soldier back to base and possibly hear the rest of his story. I couldn't. I think that maybe I gave him a little absolution about actions which will clearly haunt this young man forever if he manages not to kill himself trying to forget it. I hope at least. I feel so helpless seeing these men and women who do try to make us proud and are being used up by the government they trust. Always tip your cabbie. Shadow out.
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. shadowknows69, you have a kind heart and are a good writer.
I look forward to your accounts, though this one saddened me mightily. How many damaged soldiers like your last fare of the night are we creating?
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Too many sister
I'm too empathic for this job. I'm wrecked today.
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maxsolomon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. beautiful writing
thanks - amazing how the microcosm illuminates the macrocosm.
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Laughing Mirror Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. The first thing you want to do when you get out of prison is get high...
I have noticed. If that's what you did before you went in. Maybe there's a parallel with that and with this soldier's story.

By delivering this soldier to somebody who could get him high, you did your good deed, even if you don't see it that way, and even if you did so unwittingly.

Also, now you know where to take fares passing through town who want crack. Who wouldn't after coming back from Iraq?




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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Personally I would want a drug
that took me in a diferent direction. Crack isn't exactly the "chill out and forget your problems" drug.
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Laughing Mirror Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. But you didn't just get back from Iraq did you?
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 03:46 PM by downstairsparts
Or did you?
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Obviously not
But when it comes to drug use I have a wealth of knowledge, not proud of that, just a fact. Sometimes I feel like I've been there. I hear more than one man's story a night.
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. BTW
I don't go out of my way to help my customers find elicit drugs. I really don't want that to be the perception people have of me.
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madokie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. the opposite is what I precieve
Through your encounters I have somewhat of a better understanding of the mindset of these returning Vets
K & R
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
9. Thanks. nt
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:02 PM
Original message
Wonderful writing. Recommended.
Some of what these soldiers said is very disturbing. It sounds like utter lawlessness over there and there's not rotating out for the Iraqis. It sounds like more than one of the soldiers you spoke of has a case of PTSD. :cry:
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
10. dupe
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 04:16 PM by Mandate My Ass
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wakeme2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
12. Great as always and a nom :) nt
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Off Topic
V for Vendetta comes out on DVD first week in Aug. If you haven't seen it rent it. Thanks for the reminder wakeme. B-)
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wakeme2008 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #13
24. I have seen it but thanks for telling me the date
I will go buy it :)
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
14. One kick for the night crowd
Not for ego. This one hurt to experience. Please share the pain.
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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
15. What a surreal encounter
I think you are right about the "haunting" part. That soldier hasn't even started to come back yet.
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Very surreal
especially since the vast majority of guys I've met, at least on the surface, seem pretty serene and well centered. Occasionally you see some that are fighting the demons by the minute and not necessarily winning.
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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. All roles reversed full speed ahead
It's just like the war. All messed up.

Your clientele is scary, Shadow. :)
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:54 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Yeah,
I've even had one put a gun to my head once. Fun.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
17. shadow, thank you for continuing to post your stories, even
those such a this one you just shared. One thing I have noticed about you is that you do not judge these men, or, if you do have a judgment, you keep it to yourself, and give them room to talk if they have the need and desire to do so. Indeed, some of what you hear is not pleasant, and in fact is downright depressing, like with this gentleman from last night. But really, the last thing they need at the moment is some lecture; they need an ear and you provide that for them.

Thanks again for your stories. They give me a glimpse into a world I might not otherwise know.
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. I have to wash myself off after work a lot.
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 05:45 PM by shadowknows69
By nature of the fact it's my job I HAVE to bite my tongue at times or I'd lose my job, or perhaps a tooth or two if I insult the wrong soldier, because I have heard examples of truly vile behavior as well. Some of these stories, I'm not proud to admit, I've played roles to siphon more information out of soldiers. I occasionally have to throw on the actor's hat and become the "hawkish patriotic cabbie" to hear some of the more testosterone laced war stories. I've played the "thankful citizen" role for the soldiers who are repeating the mantra of "fighting them over there". I hope the fates will judge me kindly and DU forgive me but I've even played the "hateful racist" to find out how deeply divided some sections of our military truly are. I warn soliders of color not to always trust the white man next to him. Am I wrong? I hope not. I'm a journalist who was never really able to work as a journalist so this is how I utilize it for the good of all. I thank you sincerely for those of you who have given me your attention. It is a ride I need to share.
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Jazzgirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. You need to write "The Shadow Chronicles".
They would be so interesting. I look for all your "Taxicab Confessions" because they are so interesting. That would've made me really nervous and I would have probably want to make that my last job of the night too. You really need to think about writing that book....

JG
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Waiting on that call from that publishing house lol
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 06:17 PM by shadowknows69
I look at these reports as my "treatment" I guess. If I get a deal Skinner will get his finder's fee and I'll dedicate it to all of you.
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Jazzgirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Aw shadow.....you keep it all!
You deserve it. Your stories are heart rending and make me want to cry. I'm so frustrated with this misadministration and the way they're treating our troops. My brother was in Afghanistan. I live in Texas and he is in Kansas City. I have seen him a couple of times and noticed some interesting behavior that I can almost put my finger on but am trying to avoid. I know its been triggered from his time in Afghanistan. I don't want to go there.... ;(
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Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 09:20 AM
Response to Reply #22
34. Keep at it.
I'm serious. Do you have an agent? I'm not one, neither do I know any, but this strikes me as a project that's just screaming a need for representation.

A publisher may not be interested in the written musings of a taxicab driver, presented to them by the author. However, a publisher may very well be interested in the incisive and heart-rending pathos of soldiers' stories related by the anonymous witness of the Everyman taxicab driver, presented to them by an agent advocate for the project and the author.

Books need marketability, and these encounters you've written about are marketable. People are hungry for the truth, and that's what you're writing. You're serving as a witness, not only for them but for us.

Keep on. :thumbsup:
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #34
36. Wouldn't know where to begin looking for one
do you just call agents and say "hey you want to represent this book idea?" I could point them to my online "treatment" here at DU. I have a pretty good book about radio in me too.
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #34
38. Actually
the DOD publicly discrediting half of what I'd have to write would give it scads of free publicity. Someone hook me up with an agent.
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Dystopian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
25. You've got a gift for writing/thank you. K/R
:kick:
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katinmn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
26. Very insightful, shadow. I think you see a side most of us don't.
Edited on Mon Jul-24-06 09:41 PM by katinmn
You should have a column. For money. :)
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Buns_of_Fire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
27. Be safe, Shadow. And take care.
The chroniclers tend to bear the weight of the stories they are told.
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aaronbees Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 10:12 PM
Response to Original message
28. I love your reports, Shadow
This one is quite eloquent and haunting. Sounds like those soldiers have a good, sympathetic ear in you when they really need it; that's something I'm sure they need, just someone to listen to them and help them decompress in some small way.
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libnnc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
29. Wow.
Thanks for that stunning report Shadow.

Just thank you and be careful out there.

:hug:
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BleedingHeartPatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
30. Your writing takes the common man's story and makes it Shakespearean.
Shakespeare took the ordinary and mundane aspects of the human condition and made them lyrical and mesmerizing.

And, the audience feels as if they are right there, living the emotion and passion.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and making me feel as if I was right there with you. MKJ

:kick:
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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-24-06 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
31. Shocking story.
I can see why you didn't want to keep working that night.
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oxbow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 12:12 AM
Response to Original message
32. My heart goes out to you and your fare, shadow
This is an amazing little slice you've shared with us here. As much as it hurts, I'm glad to have read it. Don't hold on to that pain any longer than you have to. I hope you have other people to talk with in your life, or that your writing can help you unload this stuff at least. You have a real way with words, so please keep it up.
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madeline_con Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 01:33 AM
Response to Original message
33.  "mad respect"
Excellent writing and ... just awesome. Thanks
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NoAmericanTaliban Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
35. Wow. Great writing. This will haunt me throughout the day..
You are doing the right thing by wearing different hats to get information you otherwise wouldn't. It's called being a devil's advocate. There was a lot of drug abuse in Vietnam. In fact, the DEA was formed to 'combat' this problem and an number of them were sent to Vietnam. Those found addicted were sent to quick rehab and then shipped back to the states where a full out heroin epidemic was started. Saw this on the History Channel about the history of drugs.

There was also a lot of drug abuse with the GIs in Germany during the mid to late 70's. They started to test piss and those in charge were often retaliated against. My dad, an officer, had the tires of his car slashed many times. School buses with officer kids in them would be spat upon by other kids and even sometimes GIs. Witness this myself from within the bus.
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shadowknows69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #35
37. Sadly I think a lot of the soliders get into the harder stuff
Edited on Tue Jul-25-06 10:47 AM by shadowknows69
as opposed to just pot because most of the "lab" drugs can't be detected by simple piss tests. I frequently get GI's talking about tripping on acid and shrooms. Tons of Extasy use too. I see a lot of them coming out of some of the crack and meth houses too. This one was my first direct encounter with a GI wanting rocks.
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NoAmericanTaliban Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 11:15 AM
Response to Reply #37
39. That is one of the ironies of piss test is that pot is easily
detected for a long time after use, while harder stuff & alcoholic is gone from your system pretty fast. Irony is that pot doesn't incite people to violence and abuse like the other stuff. Part of the whole anti-60's counter culture thing. Most right wingers are still fighting the 60's & most elections are based on that. Look at Kerry & swifters. Pictures with him and Hanoi Jane, etc.
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NJCher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-25-06 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
40. What a story!
I don't think I've ever seen a story like this one, about the soldier who wanted crack. And what an "incredible coincidence" that he stumbled right onto it. What does that say about America!?!

Uh, well, I guess this:

I complied thinking, great my passenger is going to accost a total stranger looking for crack, in fatigues, what a wonderful representation of our military.

Man, can you guys imagine if a broad cross section of the American public read that??!! Can you imagine how those God-fearing fundies would react?!

Shadow, you had me on the edge of my seat! Reading this reminded me of reading Gonzo journalism.




Cher


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illinoisprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-26-06 01:09 AM
Response to Original message
41. Your writing is spellbinding
I was glued to your posting and felt the ping of sadness when it was done. Your writing is wonderful. You have brought to life the kids who are coming back from the hell of bush's folly. The different reactions and attitudes and how this war has destroyed them.
Please keep writing your posts and maybe think about writing as career. You can bring so much to life.
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