The last word on gay marriage.

[11 Bravo]

Please pay attention this time, I don't want to have to explain this again. If loving and commited gay couples are ever permitted to legalize their relationships, thus finally securing the rights guaranteed to ALL Americans by the Constitution, the institution of heterosexual marriage would be permanently damaged. Ted Bundy might never have been allowed to wed and impregnate his bride while on Death Row, ensuring that his DNA would continue to permeate the gene pool. Newt Gingrigh would not have been allowed to abandon his cancer-ravaged wife in order to marry a younger model. Ronald Reagan could never have dumped old number one in order to sample the favors of Nancy Davis, (who according to Frank Sinatra, "gave the greatest blow job in Hollywood'"). Brittney Spears initial 15 minutes of wedded bliss with Jason Alexander would not have occurred. Rush Limbaugh may never have the chance to pursue life-mate number four. John Warner couldn't have dumped his wife for a crack at Liz Taylor. Dan Burton would have missed out on numerous extra-marital affairs, and couldn't have fathered the out-of-wedlock son whom he currently ignores. Rudy Guiliani wouldn't have had the chance to boink his assistant in Gracie Mansion while his wife stayed home with the kids. Bob Livingston, erstwhile GOP speaker of the house, would have been denied the opportunity to cheat on his wife with at least four other women. GOP congresswoman Helen Chenoweth would have missed her chance at screwing virtually every married male member of the Idaho legislature.
Damn it people, we're talking about Holy Matrimony here! If a few million Americans must be denied their civil rights in order to maintain the sanctity of that bond, well, that's the way the cookie crumbles!

[xchrom]

1. oh dear -- in the face of list of endangered hetero married bliss

i must apologize.