Gays don't threaten families - divorces do

[Erika]

I thought it was a good slogan. We need to get an amendment going to ban divorce. Divorce has far more of an impact on families than gays could think about.

Contact [email protected].
Let them know your thoughts.

[Deja Q]

1. Just remember, a gay person who gets into a hetero marriage...

particularly and especially if they make children - would be bound by law.

Pity our society can't be openly gay as well; it'd keep any number of people from getting into wrong marriages in the first place and spare any number of people needless hurt and pain.

I dated a guy once who had come out and divorced. It had affected his children badly. It affected his ex-wife badly. And it affected him badly too. I saw what had happened and how could I not feel sympathy? Yet OTOH he made his choices and I felt he made a mistake by abandoning his family for personal pleasure. When you make a family, your own needs end there and then. Period. Regardless of reason, be it sexual or ANYTHING. At all. The children get first and foremost priority. Make them second fiddles to your personal problems and they'll be fucked up for life too. (or the chances are greater). And we've seen how children considered inconveniences by their parents have turned out.

What's going on is far more transcendental than the one aspect being whined about (two men or two women marrying). The societal undercurrents is considerable.

[murielm99]

4. Suppose he had stayed in his marriage and

everyone, including the children, were screwed up by the unhappiness of the situation. That happens all the time, too.

I also know a guy who left his marriage to live with his male lover. He married in the first place to deny who he was. The divorce was right for everyone. He stayed close to his children.

I don't think divorce is a bad thing. In many cases, it is a very good thing.

I do know what you mean about putting children first. That is only one reason why pregnancies should be planned. I know I thought before I had kids. They were my first priority until they were grown. However, parents have other relationships and needs. It is possible to find a balance between selfishness and responsibility in parenting and other relationships.

[pnwmom]

6. I know a woman whose husband of twenty years had bipolar disorder.

He left her, and she was devastated . . . at first. Turns out that it was the best thing that could have happened to her, and to their children.

Each family has its own individual circumstances. Just as with abortion, this should be the private decision of those who are directly affected. Not the state.

[pnwmom]

2. Are you thinking of this just as a tactic, or do you really think this?

Some marriages will never work, and all members of the family suffer while the marriage is ongoing. Other parents, who never should have married but decide to stay together, do a good job in maintaining a decent relationship for the sake of the children.


The state shouldn't be sticking it's nose in.

[Erika]

3. I'm saying the GOP say norm is marriage

and they should back it by saying no to divorce.

[pnwmom]

5. But would you be happy if they were successful?

My parents' marriage was a disaster. We were not better off, because my father took his unhappiness out on all of us.

[Erika]

7. You have to look at the qualifiers

Their are a lot of gay relationships that are positive. But if marriage between sexes takes on a favored relationship they should take on extra responsibilities.

No marriages for gays, no divorces for straights. Let's really protect the family.

[pnwmom]

12. Erika, you don't understand.

My father was gay. That was the problem. And staying together, as they did, didn't protect us kids at all. It was a torment for everybody.

[dubeskin]

8. So then what happens in my case?

Where my two gay mothers get a divorce(currently happening right now. They have been together for 29 years)? Oh wait, those are REALLY bad, because god wants EVERYONE to stay together, except killing innocent people is alright.

[Erika]

9. I'd suggest you contact W for counselling

He offered the same for Iraqis.

[pnwmom]

13. Nice attitude.

:sarcasm:

[jerry611]

10. USA has the highest divorce rate in the world

If you are married today, you have a 60% chance of the marriage failing.

The big problem is that people get married for stupid reasons. They get married for looks, money, or the woman ends up pregnant. You get married for any of those reasons, your marriage won't last long. And women are just as much to blame for this as men.

We have become an extremely superficial society.

[Erika]

11. So we need an amendment to ban divorce

Divorce rates among straight couples endangers children far more than gay marriages, so we need an amendment to ban divorce for the sake of families and children.

Please contact [email protected] to express this.

Thanks.

[pnwmom]

15. It's a crazy idea with, thankfully, no chance of succeeding.

[kevinbgoode]

16. Couldn't we just ban Republicans from marriage?

After all, seems to me that they couldn't possibly be good at child rearing. . .and Lord knows there isn't an honest, monogamous bone(r) in their body.

[pnwmom]

17. LOL. Yeah, and that plan has about a good a chance of succeeding.

[pnwmom]

14. That may be true for second marriages, but it's not true for

first marriages. In fact, the rate has actually been going down.

[pnwmom]

18. If this isn't just some gag, or some political statement,

there are things that can be done to significantly lower the divorce rate.

#1. Raise the age of marriage to 21. The states with the highest divorce rates tend to be those with the earliest age at first marriage.

#2. Increase education. Higher education correlates with a lower divorce rate.

http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/pubtenthingsyoungadults.htm

"For large segments of the population, the risk of divorce is far below fifty percent.
Although the overall divorce rate in America remains close to fifty percent of all marriages, it has been dropping gradually over the past two decades. Also, the risk of divorce is far below fifty percent for educated people going into their first marriage, and lower still for people who wait to marry at least until their mid-twenties, haven't lived with many different partners prior to marriage, or are strongly religious and marry someone of the same faith. "

[NorthernSpy]

19. actually, I kind of agree with you...

I get what you're saying, Erika.

Why is it that we can make and break solemnly-sworn marriage commitments with abandon when children are involved, but when gays ask for a chance to marry -- quick, we must all rally to defend the sanctity of Marriage!

:eyes:

I agree. It's two-faced.

[OnionPatch]

20. Yep, what a load of hypocricy

their whole "sanctity of marriage" issue is, isn't it? :rofl:

[xchrom]

21. this place is nuttier than a walnut tree sometimes.