Let me tell you a story about a strong woman

[bleedingheart]

This woman is an administrator at a school.

She replaced a man who had the position for about 15 years.

The man who had retired, was a good guy and was ready for retirement. He was well liked and kept a rather relaxed work environment. Under his leadership, the PTA had grown rather large and a lot of latitude was given to the PTA and parent volunteers.

When the woman who replaced him started to assess what had been going on, it appeared that some rules had been broken. Some serious rules regarding safety and that some of the district guidelines had not been met.

So she decided that since she was the new administrator she would use this opportunity to set everything back on the path.

She required that parents fill out volunteer forms, attend training and that they could not bring guests or their other children to the school since it was both a safety issue and a distraction. (all of this was school district policy).

Overall she is strict but she cares.

BUT...she is also attractive, slender, will share her opinion. She dresses professionally, however she is an athlete so she looks good and can wear fitted suits and does so... She does not look trampy at all...looks like a high priced attorney and presents a very polished look.

How is she rewarded....most if not all the mothers I meet at the school hate this woman.

Absolutely detest her.

None of them has a coherent reason for it.

The one reason given by one mother was that..."principal's should be men...not women"...and it just left me flummoxed....

I don't know if it is green eyed jealousy or what but it leaves me sick to my stomach.

[raccoon]

1. Me too. And it sounds like green-eyed jealousy. nt

[noamnety]

2. New bosses who immediately change things

are very often resented. There's a feeling that they don't respect the people that have been running things - that all their work is devalued - if they don't come in and just observe and learn - for a fairly long time. This is especially the case if they go from loose management to something they perceive as micromanagement. They've been forced to give up some of their power - and anyone in this forum knows how people respond to that!

This is a conflict - obviously - if the people who have been running things have also been breaking safety guidelines, cause that has to be fixed. But maybe a better management approach would be to think about how to get the parents to buy into that. Instead of dictating from up above how it's gonna be fixed, it might have been more diplomatic to do it in a way that forces compliance with rules, but doesn't take away the PTA's power.

What I'm thinking - and feel free to share this with her, if you feel you can, and if the changes are still going on - is to ask for a committee of parents that can review the guidelines, and self-assess which ones are being violated, and come up with solutions. As a manager, that says "This is what I need done, I respect your ability to operate independently and fix it" instead of "crap, you guys are a bunch of screw-ups, thank god someone competent is in charge of you now."

Girls are socialized from a very small age to play and communicate in cooperative ways (playing imagination games, playing house), where nobody is the boss. When we get into management positions, we're then socialized to act like dominant males - take charge, don't be afraid to give orders.

I have two thoughts on that. The first is that the women (or at least one/some of them) might be having a bristly reaction to having to deal with a "gender-traitor" - not that that's justified, I'm just saying. The second thought, though, is that as a society, we put less value on how girls communicate and cooperate - and I'm not sure we ought to.

[Warpy]

3. It sounds like a couple of things to me

First,it sounds like the basis of conservatism, stark terror when it comes to change.

Second, it sounds like a knee jerk reaction to a successful woman who reminds them that they're far less than successful.

My mother was a school principal in the late 50s. Mothers hated her, too, and didn't have any coherent reason for it.

[noamnety]

4. Although I don't disagree

I'm not totally comfortable with the uncaveated use of the word "successful" there.