Update on my Life.

[RevCheesehead]

I honestly don't know where to begin, whether to laugh or cry.
We are, apparently, in a discerning time (I hate "church language"!), to determine whether or not I am able to handle the stresses of ministry. So, for the short term, I get to:
1. Get a complete physical exam, w/report to them
2. Go for psychological assessment, to determine whether or not I am able to function "effectively" in parish ministry.

If it is determined that I need further work, they will put me on "Incapacity Leave," to work out whatever needs attention in my life. Oh, and I would also have to file for disability; AND move out of the parsonage. But they'd pay my salary (which, incidentally, doesn't cover housing costs.) I am currently earning just over $33,000. At the end of that time, it will be determined whether I should return to parish ministry, or find some other area of work.

Their response to my inquiries about the church was "All churches are stressful, and most are dysfunctional. We are questioning if you have the coping skills to work in this atmosphere."

I think that's enough, for now.

Oh, and on the way home, I stopped at Wal-Mart and bought a new TV. Because I deserve it, and it's better than binge eating.

[SeattleGirl]

1. Oh honey!

I don't even know what to say to all that. So much for the whole church being accountable. :cry:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

4. god bless ya, sweetie.

I wouldn't be surprised if the committee ended up shitting a brick, since they said they didn't want me to leave. I wonder how they'd feel if I ended up leaving ministry for good?

Thanks for all the hugs - I sure can use every one of them now. :hug:

[Berry Cool]

2. Ditto.

I am talking to you more about this, girl. Sheesh.

[RevCheesehead]

5. Thanks, Berry.

Could I borrow a Bay Air for tonight? I think I might need some extra-strong hugs. :hug:

[Berry Cool]

29. You know I've got Bay Air to spare.

And hugs, too. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

31. You're the best!

:hug:

Today was a good day. I talked w/my brother. :)

[ralps]

3. Hi RevCheesehead, Oh No!! & Hi to Oreo, CC & lil' Keith! Hugs I hope you all

will be ok! :hi: :loveya: :hug: :pals: :wtf: :grouphug:

[RevCheesehead]

6. Thanks so much, ralps.

I appreciate all the support you give - and how you remember all my sweeties every night!

:hug: back to you and :hug: for Crook, too. :)

[bunny planet]

7. I haven't been around much Rev. Sorry to hear this is happening and there are.

problems with your church and your role within it. Not sure of the background as to what led up to this but it sure sounds upsetting for you. Big hugs to you dear lady.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

11. Thank you, dear Bunny.

I wish I had your thumping skills... uh, then again, maybe it's best not to go there.

I talked about some of the issues in yesterday's first thread. It's drama, and totally unnecessary, IMO. :hug:

[bleever]

8. I prescribe binge Keithing.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

12. As in "Take two Keiths and call me in the morning?"

Works for me. :hug:

[CC]

9. ...

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::loveya::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[RevCheesehead]

13. Ferretessa, I love you.

May all your love be returned to you, ten-fold. :hug:

[CC]

17. You must not of seen this

from last night. Some is of no use now but maybe it will make you laugh.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=315&topic_id=119551&mesg_id=119845

[RevCheesehead]

18. LOL - I just read that!

And I sure would love it for Ter to show up, with a ferret on his shoulder, ready to kick ass!! :rofl:

I guess I'm looking at this as an opportunity for me to assess my life, and prove to myself (even more than to others) that I really am not crazy. Everyone has issues to work on, and I'm sure I could use some grief counseling, but I find it highly premature to claim that I am not effective in ministry. I also told them that there are many, many people in the churches that would disagree with that statement.

I know my heart, and I think that I've functioned rather well, despite what others think or say. Only time will tell, I guess.

Thanks for the feedback, C. :hug:

[CC]

22. If you're not a tad

crazy after 7 plus years of the idiot son then I will be worried about you!

You have been through so much and as far as I can tell stayed pretty sane. Not sure I could do it while being a whole congregations support too. The counseling can't hurt, you're too smart to stay with anyone that could do damage. A person to vent to that is not allowed by law to repeat what you say is a good place to do just that. At least you are looking at it as an opportunity and that is good on your part. Don't forget my over used let go and let God.

You will always have a few that no one can make happy in any group of people. The way I see it is you have to decide where you need to draw the line of what you will put up with. You do have a right to time off and happiness and the right to tell them what they can and cannot do. I have a feeling the majority of those in your church would hate to lose you.

Course they do have good assisted living facilities here and as long as you did evening services I would show up if you were to head east.:evilgrin: And kick some ass if anyone is mean to you.

I am around most days and nights even if not at the computer. You need to just talk give me a call. PM if you need the number again. All you would interrupt these days is planting flowers or house cleaning if it is raining and I can't find an way to be distracted.

[RevCheesehead]

23. your wisdom...

is a gift from God, and I am thankful to count you among my friends.

I'm actually in a pretty good place emotionally, right now. And I have a quiet peace and calmness about me, knowing that I will get through this and survive, stronger than ever.

I'm kinda talked out right now (thanks, berry!!), but I may yet call on you just to hear your sweet voice. Give my love to all the critters, including Ter! :hug:

[CC]

27. Well should you decide on a vacation

and decide to escape the brother I am only two hours from Harrisburg.

Terry is in Iowa poor guy. Weird back-haul for him and a warning for driving on a road that millionaires live on in MN. He is in a mood to kick ass. Worse he couldn't get waited on so had to skip a sit down dinner. He is in a mood. What a waste he is so far from the trouble makers. He said no ferret though, they would probably cause a crash. Can't keep a ferret where it belongs and all that. Said he could just see on bite his ankle and cause him to hit the gas.

Good to hear you are in a good place emotion wise and better that you know you will be ok. I will give all the critters of the zoo crew and extra whatever they like special from you. Give Oreo, CC and lil Keith extra chin scritches from me and tell CC to lay off the food, no reason he needs to take on my body shape.

[RevCheesehead]

28. Aww, big hugs to Ter!

I think the world has become a nastier place, and everyone is acting out by blaming everyone else. That's what happens when you have Satan in the White House.

CC honestly doesn't eat much when I'm home - it's when I'm gone that he pigs out. I can understand that. :)

Oh, and I think you should be more worried about taking on HIS shape. :P

[SharonRB]

10. I'm so sorry, Rev

This hasn't been a good year for many of us. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

14. Sadly, you are right.

But if it's so rotten, we have nowhere to go but up, right? :hug:

[GigiMommy]

15. Oh my, oh dear Rev...

Know that you are here among friends and people who care. Cassie says you're her favorite Rev (and that's the truth). :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

16. Thank you, Gigi...

and Cassie: Thanks for your prayers. I was able to stay calm all the way through the meeting, even if it didn't go the way I wanted it to. :hug::hug:

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

19. Hey Rev, I really don't know what to say.

I'm not very familiar with parish duties and some such, but I'll add you to the prayer list that everything works out for you.

BTW, what kind of TV did you buy??? Nosy minds want to know.

[RevCheesehead]

24. First, I have to confess...

that I have sinned, for I have consumed at the great fast-food of retail. Yes, I went to Wal-Mart. I bought a Visio - it was a good TV, at a cheap price (with tax: $500.07) 26-inch screen, and Keith looks absolutely yummy! Also, the TV has great sound, is lightweight, an LCD and high-def. Even though I'm not receiving hi-def, the picture itself is markedly improved over the old RCA I had since 1988.

I knew it was a good TV, because I bought one just like it for my Dad when he moved in March. :)

[WolverineDG]

20. oh rev!

:cry: :hug: :loveya:

dg

[RevCheesehead]

25. Awww....

I'm gonna be OK. I will survive, because I have so many great friends here!!!

:hug::hug::hug:

Keeping prayers sent your way during this time, Wolvie. O8)

[Botany]

21. Did I ever tell you that you are my Fav?

Please take my friends along to your next meeting.



Just remember that not only does the Rev. need to minister to the Parishioners
Parishioners need to minster to the Rev.. Any church would be lucky to
have you.

BTW On a much smaller scale I am dealing w/ some of the same issues
in Ohio ... the Episcopal chuch where I have designed, installed, and been
basically in charge of the grounds for years had a change of Rev. and now
I am dealing w/ no money, 2 committees, and new Rev. who is useless,
and a janitor who thinks he is in charge of the grounds.

The Church and it's grounds are on the National Register of Historic Places
and the gardens have made local, state, and national media .... and now
I have some **##@@!! women standing by me telling me how to prune.

I am 5 minutes from walking away but i hate to see my work ruined.

[RevCheesehead]

26. Nothing quite like the wisdom of a weekend gardener, is there?

:eyes: These people would probably tell Jesus "you know, if you sliced the bread into little cubes, it would go further, and it would be far more sanitary if you kept your hands off it."

God help the institution - it is truly fucked.

Thanks for the Bay Airs. :)

Hang in there, Cuddles. :hug:

[Berry Cool]

30. Poor Bot.

Sounds like that church needs some "pruning"...and I don't mean of plants in the yard.