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Were you a loner as a teen/young adult? If so, did either parent berate you for being one?

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Louisiana1976 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-03-09 01:17 PM
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Were you a loner as a teen/young adult? If so, did either parent berate you for being one?
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-03-09 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
1. No. I was a pack animal in my younger days. My mother always
demanded I get out there, socialize, find something, etc.
And my father got me into a lot of group sports, baseball, football, ice hockey, soccer, well, that was my mother too who encouraged me about that.
And as a young adult I ran with a pack, never went anyplace alone, always the group.
But then, for the sexual endeavors, I had to pair off with a female of the species, one of the female persuasion, or two if I could manage that, but mostly one.
Then, in later life, that dropped away, and I ended up, selfish, only pursuing my own road, going where I wanted to go.
Now I think it's just not being able to come across the right one to pair up with. But I don't try like I used to. I don't pursue like I used to.
What about you.
I mean, a one sentence thread? Come on, tell your story, if only for you to read.
dc
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Louisiana1976 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-13-09 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I've a long story about the worst situation regarding which I was berated ......
by a parent for being a loner, but here goes: When I was studying abroad in college I enjoyed taking long walks in solitude (as I did back in the States--nothing different there) and on one of these walks I was raped. One of the worst things about it was when my mother blamed me for what happened, asking why I liked going off by myself so much. Still pisses me off after all these years.
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Nay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-13-09 05:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. I was a loner because I was very shy and very afraid of everyone
judging me daily. Unfortunately, there are enough people in the world who do just that to others, so I ran into plenty of people who would judge me on my clothing, hair, makeup, what I read, what I thought, etc., etc., that my fears were quite well-founded and were reinforced. I have gotten a lot better about not caring so much what other people think, but I still don't like people much and find that I am much happier if I severely limit my interactions with them. When I come home from work, I have no desire to see anyone else. Just the incidental contact at work was enough to exhaust me completely. I even have trouble pursuing hobbies and such, because I am so wiped out from ppl contact all day.

My father, an alcoholic, was irritated at me for being shy, so yes, you could say he "berated" me. He certainly never did anything in a kind way to help me be less shy, and my mother was a hand-wringing depressive who couldn't even help herself. I daresay I would have done a lot better in a family that was normal. But that can be said about a lot of kids -- there are sicko families everywhere. Any idiot can have a kid and then ruin its life.
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-13-09 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Yeah. All too common. But, I have to say, it does not matter how
Edited on Sun Sep-13-09 08:28 PM by david13
nice, expensive, proper, wonderful etc., that your clothes or shoes or hair is, people will still judge you, and make fun of you, etc.
Not all, but many. And what I have found, and I hate people, and I hate the world too, but, my theory is that I need to relate to more and more people, all I possibly can.
So when I go out, I talk to everyone, anyone, anyone who will listen or respond. My theory is that if you only relate to 2 people, and they both are rude, inconsiderate, judgmental, etc., you have 2 bad.
But, if you (read me) relate to 100 people, I ought to find, once in a while some rather good people in there. And I usually find it to be true.
Then, like anything else separate the chaff from the wheat. Talk to, relate with the good ones. Don't expect too much of them. And you'll be amazed, and pleased.
dc
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Nay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-13-09 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Oh, I agree completely. I hasten to say that I have a family and a few
good friends, and am not isolated in my home. Sorry if I made it sound that way. Mr. Nay is pretty reclusive, too, mainly because all he likes to do is watch TV! Sonny Nay is now a father, so we have grandbaby Nay too, who is a darling.

And yes, ppl do judge you no matter how proper your clothing, etc., is, and that's why I pretty much ignore ppl now on those subjects. One sad thing is that we are stuck in wingnut land (Richmond, VA, the capital of the Confederacy) and the ppl are mostly wingnuts. Even the ones who should know better. Maybe after we retire we can move somewhere more intelligent, but the economy has given that plan a kick in the nuts for now.
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-14-09 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Yeah, I know that one as well, as I was out in Hemet for 1 1/2 years
not full time, but enough to realize that was wing nut city. A little better to be back here in Los Angeles, where oddly enough there are a lot of sane, friendly, people. But it's not 100%. There is a strong supply of the loony toons here as well.
So I don't know, retirement community, basically that is where I was temporary in Hemet and found them to be, well, it's like a disease going around in some places.
My father also is in a retirement community in Florida and he and I discussed how he voted for Barack Obama and was pleased to see him elected, but he mentions he cannot say too much about that to anybody else in his retirement community.
So. There has to be a network, or something. Kind of like what we have on du.
dc
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